tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79597271093211153272024-03-04T20:04:40.742-08:00Living Life FullyThoughts and ideas on what goes into living our lives fully and happily. There are no set answers here, just some observations of life and living that hopefully can help you to see things in a positive light!tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.comBlogger736125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-7645429112423452542024-02-08T02:48:00.000-08:002024-02-08T02:48:29.814-08:00Moving On<p><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: verdana;">My father's going to die soon. He's in hospice, and has been for over a week, and the nurses who are working with him constantly say that he may not make it through another night. They've been saying this for over a week, of course. The difficult part of this situation for me is watching it and not having too many feelings about it. After all, my father has always been a mean, abusive alcoholic, and while many people would say, "Yes, but he's still your father," this simple fact of biology can't do anything to change the ways that I think of the man. The fact of the matter is that I can't remember many times at all when he actually <i>acted</i> as a father. Instead of encouragement, he gave criticism and condemnation. Instead of support, he provided neglect. Instead of closeness and intimacy, he remained constantly aloof.<br /><br />And of course, the alcoholism exacerbated all of these problems and turned our childhoods into nightmares. I really don't want to go into the kinds of things that used to happen, but suffice it to say that I often wonder nowadays what my life might have been like if I had grown up with loving, nurturing parents instead of having to find my own ways through life from a very early age.<br /><br />My goal here isn't to criticize and condemn. Rather, it's important for me to look at the situation objectively so that I can understand why I have no deep feeling of loss when I think of my father passing on. When he dies, he'll be gone, and I'll be left with a vast number of memories that aren't pleasant at all, and very few memories that bring forth positive emotions.<br /><br />And that's okay. I really don't want to be one of those people who would support someone come hell or high water no matter what kinds of awful things that person does. I don't want to be a person who speaks at a funeral and tells others that this is a great loss and that he was a great man when the truth was quite different. We're somehow expected to look only at the positive and forget the negative, and while I'm more than prepared to forgive--and I already have done so--I'm not willing to lie about the person that this man was. Lying would affect me and my own peace of mind, and it wouldn't help him a bit.<br /><br />After all, most of my success in life has resulted from me doing my best <i>not</i> to be like him. He's served as nothing but a negative role model, showing me how not to live my life if I want to be a happy, fulfilled person. From watching him--and not from him--I've learned how not to treat other people, how not to abuse alcohol, how not to be completely self-centered, how not to insult and belittle others, how not to emotionally harm and manipulate others. When all is said and done, though, I've learned in spite of him rather than because of him. Both my brother and sister, on the other hand, followed the path he modeled and became alcoholics and drug addicts themselves, and both of them died rather early deaths.<br /><br />Trust me, I do feel compassion for the man. He lived a very unhappy life that was often tinged with what seemed to be desperation. I feel very sad that now, near the end of his life, he's dying friendless and alone. We won't be having a funeral because there would be no one to come other than my mother and I. But my feelings of sympathy can't change anything about the life he led, and it's my sincere hope that by observing the ways he lived and the results of those ways, I may be able to help others to avoid ending their lives in the ways that he's ending his.<br /><br /></span></p><p><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/death.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: verdana;"><img border="0" data-original-height="128" data-original-width="350" height="128" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/death.jpg" width="350" /></span></a></div><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: verdana;"><br /></span><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-3673538414255810552024-01-18T15:00:00.000-08:002024-01-18T15:00:56.401-08:00Wasting Time<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;">Something that has become much clearer to me over the years is the fact that for most of us, we "waste" very little time. Unfortunately, I've always been rather harsh on myself for wasting time and not doing anything "productive" when I could have spent the time accomplishing something. I've come to realize, though, that most of the time that I've "wasted" by playing games or going for long walks or even doing nothing much at all has been time that I wouldn't have been able to do anything, anyway. My mental state has been such that what I've needed more than anything else is a rest, and by not forcing myself to "accomplish" anything in particular, I've allowed my brain to focus on something other than the incessant need to be productive and to take a much needed break for myself.<br /><br />Sometimes it's nice to not do anything productive, to just sit and relax or go for a walk or read something good or even just take a nap. It can be nice to not have any expectations of ourselves, and to not be disappointed in ourselves for not doing something. Some of my best days have been days when I've purposely planned nothing at all and I've purposely done nothing at all. Jigsaw puzzles are a great pastime for those kinds of days, or doing something that doesn't take a lot of brainpower or effort, like window shopping or watching something stupid on television, or watching a favorite old movie one more time.<br /><br />When all is said and done, our desire to accomplish something seems to be a result of the fact that we want to be remembered, and we want to be remembered in positive ways. We want people to be impressed with things that we've done, and we want them to be impressed with us for having done them.<br /><br />The great spiritual leaders, though, have recognized something that is a definite truth: human beings won't be here forever, and even if we feel that what we've done is lasting, it probably really isn't. The world will go on and on, and the sun will rise and set without our assistance, as the Talmud reminds us. I've come to believe that the most lasting legacy that we can leave isn't in material goods or possessions of achievements or successes. Rather, the most lasting legacy is the love that we can share with others, the caring and compassion that our fellow human beings will carry with them after we share it with them.<br /><br />While it can feel wonderful to achieve and to produce, it's important that we balance our desire to do so with rest and relaxation so that when we do try to achieve, we're well prepared to follow our path on the long haul. We're not much good if we're exhausted. And while we're resting and gathering strength, we can focus on things like writing letters and notes to people we care for, giving them encouragement just by letting them know that someone is thinking of them. While some people are afraid of wasting time by relaxing and doing nothing, it's completely possible that the true waste of time is trying to carry on without having rested and provided ourselves with the strength we need to carry on.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/rest.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="119" data-original-width="350" height="119" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/rest.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-23407679798601556932024-01-08T14:47:00.000-08:002024-01-08T14:47:41.073-08:00Legacy<span style="font-family: verdana;">I often wonder about the legacy I'll be leaving. In many ways, I wish my legacy were more expansive--my influence is rather limited, and I'm not quite sure just how the people I've affected even see what I've passed on to them. When all is said and done, of course, none of that matters--what will matter on the day I die will be how I feel about what I've given to life and the people in it, and what others have gotten from me as a result of my giving.<br /><br />But I'm a member of my society, and as a society, we really do seem to have stopped paying attention to things like leaving legacies for our young people, doing things that we can offer with pride to them, things that will contribute in positive ways to the world that they live in and will live in after we're gone. Heck, we're even destroying the planet they need to live on for the rest of their lives and yes, that legacy is ours. It belongs to those of us who have been around for a long time and who have continued to contribute to the status quo without making any changes in the ways that we do things that will make things better for our young people as they live their lives after we've departed.<br /><br />Can I solve the climate crisis all by myself? Of course not. Can I solve the problems that we in the States have with a consistently growing number of mass shootings, especially in schools? No. Can I fix an educational system that is simply broken, and that is not adequately preparing most students for their futures? Not on my own, I can't. And even if I were to get 50 or 1,000 people together to work on the problem, we still couldn't fix it without the agreement of the state governments, the local school boards, the citizens of the country, school boards, and so many other groups that the task would probably never be done.<br /><br />So what does that mean? Does it mean that I can't leave a positive legacy? Does it mean that I can't contribute to the world in positive ways? No, it doesn't. Because while my options certainly are limited by reality, I still do have options. There are definitely legacies that I can leave behind on a very small level that may even have a strong ripple effect, helping the legacy to grow even after I'm gone.<br /><br />I can leave a legacy of encouragement. The more I encourage other people, especially young people, the more they learn the strength and power of encouragement, and the more likely they are to become encouragers themselves. I can leave a legacy of hard work by providing a model of hard work that's balanced with rest and that doesn't take over my life and ruin relationships and hobbies. I can work hard and still enjoy life, and that type of legacy is strong, indeed.<br /><br />I can leave legacies of fairness, of compassion, of humor, of understanding, of appreciation, of wonder, of acceptance, of fairness--the list seems to be pretty long, doesn't it? A legacy is what we leave as role models, and what we leave as laws and what we leave as realities. I may not be able to solve the climate crisis, but I can drive my car less and put myself in situations in which I can walk or bike where I need to go. I may not be able to solve the problems of violence in our society, but I can do my best to teach others to love one another and to respect one another and to never resort to violence as a way to deal with problems in life.<br /><br />We're on this planet a short time, and we want to contribute what we can. Most of us will never contribute in huge ways, affecting millions of people, but we can contribute in small ways that affect relatively few people--and still leave a legacy that is positive and lasting. We just have to trust that when we do good, on no matter how small a level, we're contributing in the world in ways that will help others and that will make a lasting impression. The world needs us to do good, and we can make our own lives much more positive when we do our best to leave a legacy that we can be proud of.<br /></span><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-48763867472025662992024-01-01T15:13:00.000-08:002024-01-01T15:13:48.909-08:00Episodes<p><span style="color: #073763; font-family: verdana;">I really do like New Year's Day. It just feels like an opportunity for a fresh start, for new ways to look at things and new things to do and to experience. I know that the difference between December 31 and January 1 is simply a moment, and that as far as the Earth is concerned, there's no such thing as a "new year" when each day just follows the previous day, as has happened for millennia--all the way back to where there was no concept of "day" to be considered. It was simply the sun coming up once more after an absence, and there was no name to it at all.<br /><br />I think I like it because I view life most often through the lens of episodes. Somehow, my life had been extremely episodic--all of my life I've felt a series of endings and beginnings, over and over again. I finished school and started working; I finished an MA and joined the Army; I worked two years at a school and then moved on to a different school in a different city or state. Perhaps this has simply been a continuation of my childhood, when our family moved every couple of years because my father, who was in the Navy, got orders to a new post. So we had to move from San Diego to Norfolk, from Norfolk to Illinois; from San Francisco to San Diego. My childhood definitely wasn't one of stability; rather, the only constant in my life was change, so to speak, and I think that this reality has extended itself into my life as an adult.<br /><br />Which would explain why I really like the idea of a new start at the "beginning" of each year. I like thinking and feeling that I can put certain things behind me for good in the old year, which is now gone forever, and move forward into the new year pursuing new things--new ideas, new experiences, new behaviors. Perhaps I've felt myself being too impatient with my students--I can make a clean break from that particular behavior and leave it behind me in the year that's now gone, and move into the next year with a new set of behaviors that will serve me and others well. The last chapter is done, and the new chapter will develop my character even more. The last episode is finished, and this new episode will give me a chance to follow a completely new plot with new characters and conflicts.<br /><br />All in all, I believe that life is episodic for us all, but that we don't pay attention because so many of the changes are so subtle. Sometimes it's hard to notice that changes have even taken place, even when life is moving in new and different directions. I want to embrace the shift into a new episode full of new characters and new plots. Some of the plots we need to make an effort to follow, and some of the characters take a lot of work to get to know or like. For me, I see the new year as a chance to make some subtle changes that will help me to become a new person--kinder and more compassionate and loving and caring. I'll be the first to admit that I've fallen a bit short in almost every category that I can conceive of, but that's okay--I'm trying my best to improve, and perhaps this next episode will bring me a new character or three to get to know who's going to help me to see things more clearly. I'll still have some plot threads from previous episodes to resolve, but I'm looking forward to starting anew and learning more, doing more, and being more than I've ever been before.</span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-30036797894329409722023-12-27T12:54:00.000-08:002023-12-27T12:54:54.764-08:00An Annual Shift in Thinking--A Paragraph a Day<span style="font-family: verdana;">It's December 27th, which means that it's time for us to start thinking about the new year coming up, and to start thinking of things like New Year's resolutions, things we want to accomplish in the coming year, habits we want to leave behind here in the old year. . . simply a multitude of thoughts about who we want to be in the coming year versus who we have been in the current year. Most of us look to make changes, with the assumption that changes are necessary. We want to go into the coming year and make ourselves "better." But in what ways are we lacking? Yes, we all can improve in certain ways, but do we absolutely need to? Are we not good enough as we are? I know that I always look for areas in which I can improve, but I rarely consider making a New Year's resolution such as "continue being kind," or "keep on loving other people." I think that what I would really like to see happen is to have the thoughts that we feel during Christmas--"What would make this person happy?" or "What can I give that will truly make a difference?"--follow us into our New Year's resolution moments so that we can resolve to be kind and loving and compassionate for an entire year, to as many people as possible. If we would be able to do this and actually follow through on the resolutions, what a great world we could make!<br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/newyear.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="353" data-original-width="650" height="353" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images2/fbbtnewyear1.jpg" width="650" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-23783484728103915912023-12-26T15:35:00.000-08:002023-12-26T15:35:36.958-08:00Sometimes Things Come Crashing--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;">I find it important to keep in mind that things like holidays can be catalysts, and not always in a good way. This year, for example, I've experienced a great deal of loss in several different ways. And while I'm not dwelling on the losses, once Christmas comes around, I've found that those things come back to me very quickly and very forcefully, even though I didn't know exactly what was happening. It wasn't like I was focusing on the loss and therefore became miserable--rather, I started feeling very strange, and only after a little while did I realize exactly why I was feeling the way I was. And if this can happen to me, then I can only imagine how other people are feeling about their own losses, many of which have been much more drastic than those I've experienced. It's a good reminder to me to show compassion all that I can, and to withhold judgment about why people are feeling the things they feel, and reacting the ways they're reacting. I can do much more good in the world understanding people more than I judge them, and there's nothing like a bit of my own pain to remind me just how much pain other people are feeling, usually solely as a result of outside forces. I don't want to be the person who judges someone else and therefore decides to be judgmental rather than compassionate; I really want to be the person who shows compassion and thus helps someone else to work their way through problems they're experiencing, and there are very few teachers more effective than my own pain and loss to help me to understand the pain and loss that other people are feeling. It's important to mourn and grieve when we feel our own loss, and it's also important to try to understand the lessons that our pain and loss are teaching us, even as we're going through the misery that we feel. If we learn from our loss, it's a much better thing than if we just feel sorry for ourselves.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/grief.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="440" data-original-width="650" height="440" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images/grief650.jpg" width="650" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-52613387717398589932023-12-24T13:13:00.000-08:002023-12-24T13:13:34.984-08:00Christmas Eve--A Paragraph a Day<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: #20124d;">I really love Christmas, but I think I like Christmas Eve even better. When Christmas Day comes, here it is, and we're in the midst of it. And that's fine--I do my best to enjoy myself. But when Christmas Eve is here, there's still a whole lot of anticipation in the air, the looking forward to things. It's like having a wonderful holiday on a cozy evening full of beautiful lights and trees and music and egg nog and whatever else makes Christmas Eve for you--and still having something wonderful to look forward to. Anticipation--looking forward to something--can be just as amazing as having experiences. As A.A. Milne tells us in Winnie-the-Pooh,</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #990000;">“Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.”</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #20124d;">Every year, I love Christmas Eve. Oddly enough, I married a woman whose birthday is on Christmas Eve, so the day is even more special now. Christmas is wonderful, but Christmas Eve is even better, according to me. And it's great that way--I don't have to view the holiday in the same ways that everyone else views it!</span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-59213999554018831582023-12-22T15:13:00.000-08:002023-12-22T15:13:38.042-08:00Little Ones--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #073763; font-family: verdana;">I sometimes get a bit pessimistic about humanity when I read the news and see all the awful things that human beings do to each other just because they believe different things or have different color skin or live in a different area. It's difficult to constantly see such cruelty and lack of respect for one another, but life is what it is, right? And we have to deal with it, don't we? But one thing that keeps me hopeful about human beings is making sure that I continue to have contact with young people, and that's where my teaching comes in. I deal with lots of high school students who are kind and considerate and who want to make the most of their lives but don't want to step all over other people in order to do so. I have students who really do want to learn, and who do everything they can in order to do so. And my wife works with even younger kids--the twins she nannies will be four in a couple of months. She told me that today, the girl asked her to help her write a Christmas card for her parents. And without any prompting, this is what she told my wife she wanted to write to her mom: "Thank you so much for always taking care of us," and she wanted to say the same thing to her dad, but adding: "and always being there when mommy is away." The fact that a four-year-old can think that way fills me with not just admiration, but also hope--there have to be more kids just like her in the world, and one day I hope that they're in charge. And then things will be much, much better than they are now.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/children2.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="107" data-original-width="350" height="107" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/children2.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-1802426061897288172023-12-21T15:53:00.000-08:002023-12-21T15:53:48.898-08:00A Break--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: verdana;">Finally, Christmas break is here. For most non-teachers, I'm sure this break that we get for Christmas--as well as the more significant break that we get in the summer--seems to be a bit excessive. After all, we get more than a week off (at this school--other places get two weeks, and colleges get up to four!), which is something that most other people don't get unless they take vacation. But for me, this vacation is an absolutely necessary element of teaching, and one that if they took it away, I probably wouldn't be able to teach any more. I suppose this is one way that relativity is obvious--the level of exhaustion that people experience in their jobs is relative--I've had jobs that don't take nearly as much out of me as teaching does, and I haven't really felt any need at all for vacations. As a high school teacher, though, my levels of exhaustion are much, much higher. And as I imagine things, my level of exhaustion isn't anywhere near the level that an elementary school teacher reaches constantly, being the main teacher and caretaker for up to 30 or 40 very young children all day, every day. I love the breaks I get, though, and for the next ten days or so I'm going to do everything I can to relax and recover so that when we start back up, I'll be ready to go until the next break, giving all that I can to try to help a bunch of young people learn certain things that they're supposed to learn. If I make the most of a break, then I'm helping out the people I'll be in direct contact with after the break, for I'll be much more effective then. If I didn't get the break, my effectiveness would continue to diminish until it eventually would simply disappear. So the next time you get a break, don't feel guilty about it, but make sure that you take the time to rest and recover, for the people you deal with after you're back from your break will much appreciate the fact that you've rested and helped yourself to become more patient, more compassionate, and more effective.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/rest.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="119" data-original-width="350" height="119" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/rest.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-90784274276481966742023-12-20T15:37:00.000-08:002023-12-20T15:37:28.013-08:00Amazing Gifts--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: verdana;">I got a great birthday present today. It's a giraffe that's made out of beads. It's about seven inches tall, and when you press the button below the base that it's standing on, it kind of collapses until you let go of the button, and which point it stands up straight once again. It's special because it was given to my by a pair of twins who aren't even four years old yet, but who found it in their hearts to send a gift home for me with my wife, who works with them during the day. I've met them a couple of times, and even helped my wife babysit them once, but I never expected that at their age, they would be interested in sending me a birthday present--and even give up one of their own possessions to do so. It's kind of overwhelming in a way, but in a very, very good way. They're very kind little kids, and it gives me a lot of hope to see two kids so young thinking about giving something to someone else instead of keeping it themselves. They gave me something straight from their hearts, and it definitely touches me deeply in my own heart. Perhaps this is what people mean when they say "heart to heart"? I'm not sure of the original meaning of the expression, but it certainly works here. And the only appropriate response to such an amazing display of generosity is gratitude, mixed with more than a bit of happiness when two very little kids find someone to be so important to them that they're willing to sacrifice their attachment to a special toy of this and pass it long to someone like me. Two less-than-four-year-olds made my whole birthday brighter with something straight from their hearts, and I would be hard-hearted indeed not to acknowledge just how special that is!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-36070764987037970312023-12-19T14:43:00.000-08:002023-12-19T14:43:57.797-08:00What Does Christmas "Spirit" Mean?--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: verdana;">I love the idea of Christmas Spirit, but I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what the term actually means. It's probably one of those things for which we have the standard kind of answer--"it means something different for everyone"--but it would be nice if we could define it and understand it clearly. Not because I'm the type of person who needs and wants to have everything catalogued and defined according to a certain set of criteria, but because it seems to be such a positive concept, one that can bring us true joy if we knew how to access it, or harness it, or adopt it. After all, the Spirit of Christmas would have to include a love of giving, and it would have to include a love for virtually everyone. It would exclude everything like greed and selfishness, and it wouldn't have anything to do with judgment or bias. I think that if I want to go out and model the Spirit of Christmas, I would have kind words for everyone I met, and I would be as generous as I possibly could be, given my means. I wouldn't treat others with harshness, and I wouldn't make them feel that I didn't approve of them for any reason. If I were to model Christmas Spirit, I would listen carefully when others talked, and I would encourage them as much as I could. I would be inclusive rather than exclusive, encouraging rather than discouraging, and loving rather than hateful. I would show gratitude often, and I would take gracefully from those who wished to give to me, while giving wholeheartedly to those who were willing to take from me. The Christmas Spirit is a spirit that we can adopt for every day of our lives if we choose to do so, and I hope that one day, I'll regularly be treating others as kindly in May or August as I do in December. The Spirit I share is my choice, after all, and I'd like it to be a caring, loving, compassionate spirit all the time.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/xmas.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="312" data-original-width="250" height="312" src="http://www.livinglifefully.com/images/xmaspeace.JPG" width="250" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-65220927593350939492023-12-18T14:27:00.000-08:002023-12-18T14:27:54.514-08:00Too Much--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #073763; font-family: verdana;">Some of my students today told me that another teacher of theirs had assigned them to read a rather long novel over the Christmas break and to write a letter based on that book. I told them in all seriousness that they should ask that teacher if he understands what "break" means. We take breaks for a reason, because we're tired and we need to renew and rejuvenate ourselves. I've known far too many teachers over the years, though, who really have no respect for students' need to actually take a break from school and to be able to spend some time not worrying about assignments or readings or anything school related. The Christmas break is the perfect time to allow students to unwind and to allow the material we've covered all fall to sink in, to allow their minds to process things that need to be processed without placing any more academic demands on them. I never have any guilt taking a break, because I know that in the long run, my breaks are going to be make me far more capable of accomplishing what I need to accomplish than working myself to exhaustion or frustration would make me. I feel very bad for the students, and I also feel bad for people who will never take breaks from their jobs or their families or other obligations. Rest is sometimes much more useful in many ways than continued effort is, and once we learn this lesson, we can make our lives more restful AND more productive, and I hope to never deprive myself of rest when it's genuinely needed.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/rest.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="119" data-original-width="350" height="119" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/rest.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-36279215004531963622023-12-17T12:06:00.000-08:002023-12-17T12:06:41.870-08:00Being an Observer--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;">The next week or so promises to be rather challenging for many people who live in countries where they celebrate Christmas. After all, there are tons of parties and get-togethers and secret Santas and gifts to buy and people to visit and foods to eat and expectations and hopes that all seem to come together in the week before Christmas. One of the things that I do to cope with the extra stress of the next couple of weeks is to take a step back and doing my best to become an observer, someone who watches everything happen but who makes no judgments and who doesn't take anything that happens personally. A crummy gift from that person? Interesting, but no big deal. Completely forgotten by that other person? That is interesting, but what can I learn from it? When we observe, we learn. We listen carefully and closely to other people instead of focusing on speaking. We see other people's fears and triumphs and nervousness and actions, and we learn a lot about who those people are by seeing what they do at Christmas time. I think we have too many judges around the holidays, anyway--no one needs me to be another judge of who they are and what they do. When I observe, I can notice who needs help and offer it. I can see who's being neglected and possibly put a candy bar on their desk. I can see who's feeling overwhelmed and spend a few minutes talking to them so that they can vent and put their feelings into words, and possibly deal with things better then. I do participate in Christmas--it's not like I pull myself out of it completely. But I don't get caught up in the drama or the conflict or some of the other silliness. Rather, I do my best to try to see what I can so that I can do what I can to contribute to making the season more bearable for those people who may be having a hard time. This way, I just may be able to contribute something other than just presents and egg nog and cookies.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/images/xmasbanner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="239" data-original-width="775" height="239" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images/xmasbanner.jpg" width="775" /></a></span></div><span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;"><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-61712915390091357792023-12-16T15:09:00.000-08:002023-12-16T15:09:24.676-08:00Christmas--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: verdana;">Every year I have to ask myself why I like Christmas so much, and I never come up with a satisfactory answer. It isn't for religious reasons, because the holiday really has gone far past its religious roots, and if my focus were on religion, I'd probably dislike the holiday more than I like it. It isn't for the gift-giving, because that seems to have gone over the top for most people, becoming more like a competition to give the best gift or a way to buy other people's love and affection. I think that the bottom line for me is that it's a season when so many people are thinking of others more than they're thinking of themselves. Our focus shifts from inward (which is very often very positive) to outward, and we're more concerned with the other people in our lives than we are in ourselves. In my family this was rarely the case--we spent most of our holidays hoping that dad wouldn't go out drinking on the 23rd and not come home until the 26th or 27th. Our holiday thoughts weren't on what we could do for others, but what we hoped wouldn't happen to us. Since then, though, I've come to see Christmas more as Scrooge's nephew sees it in a book that I read every Christmas, starting on my birthday on the 20th: "I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round—apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that—as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!" I think that Dickens definitely hit the nail on the head there, and I know that I will always love Christmas for just that reason. Here's hoping that your Christmas, too, is a wonderful one!</span><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/xmas.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="285" height="100" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images/welcome.jpg" width="285" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-76241350135756392732023-12-14T15:47:00.000-08:002023-12-14T15:47:44.581-08:00Enough is Enough--A Paragraph a Day<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: maroon; font-size: small;">To know when you have enough is to be rich. -</span><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/people/laozi.htm" style="font-size: small;" target="_blank">Lao-tzu</a><br /><br />I've been reading a bit about wealth and materialism and happiness recently, and I think that most of the many words that I read could be summed up in these ten words from Lao-Tzu. Really, enough is enough, and most of us are convinced somehow that we never really do have enough, and that we always need more. That's not true, though--outside of food to eat, shelter from the elements, and clothing, none of us truly <i>need</i> all that much. Most of us who are privileged enough to be accessing the Internet with a computer or phone already have much <i>more</i> than enough, yet we continue to convince ourselves that we need more somehow, some way. If I want to be truly rich, though, I don't need to have more money or more material possessions; rather, I simply need to be satisfied with what's already in my life. I have enough clothes, I have enough food, I have more than sufficient shelter. I have more books than I need, more computers than I need, more furniture than I need--this list is pretty long. So when all is said and done, I'm extremely wealthy, aren't I? I know that I'm much wealthier than probably 90% of the people who have ever lived on this planet, so why don't I consider myself wealthy? Perhaps because my society tells me in many ways that if I truly want to consider myself wealthy, I need to have more possessions, and more expensive possessions. I don't buy that, though, so society be damned--I'm very wealthy, and I'm very appreciative of the wealth that I possess. Enough is enough, and I definitely have more than enough.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/wealth.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="139" data-original-width="350" height="139" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/wealth.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-43759184506303946932023-12-13T13:19:00.000-08:002023-12-13T13:19:07.027-08:00No Run Today--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #073763; font-family: verdana;">When I looked out the window at work a little bit before I came home, I saw snow falling sideways--the wind was strong enough to blow it parallel to the ground. And I realized that today wasn't a day for a run, for even though I do like running in snow, the wind makes a huge difference in the quality of a run. And I figure now that since I wrote yesterday about running on a cold day, it might be a good idea today to write about not running on a cold day that goes past cold into bitter. I've learned that much of what it means to live life fully has to do with discernment, with choosing the right times to do things, but also choosing the right times not to do things. I would have loved to have run today, but some days are for rest, not for workouts. I know too many people who don't understand that idea, or who choose to ignore it, and they run themselves into the ground because they don't give themselves rests, especially on days when it may not be just unpleasant to go out and do something, but may also be somewhat dangerous. After all, our body temperatures do go down when it's cold outside, but they go down even more when it's cold and windy. And while I love to run in the cold, I don't have any superpower that I know of that allows me to deal with a seriously low body temperature--sometimes our decisions need to be driven more by logic that tells us that something isn't safe than by emotion telling us we want to do something. Hypothermia isn't pleasant and is potentially dangerous, so my goal for today is to be safe, and I think that the best thing that I can do is to avoid running. Some days are just that way, and it's not a sign of weakness to decide not to do something like running on a day that's obviously bad for it--it's rather a sign of respect for ourselves and our bodies to recognize that conditions are far from ideal to do something, so the best thing that we can do is to decide not to do that something, just for now.</span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-72627242241638043912023-12-12T15:04:00.000-08:002023-12-12T15:04:59.490-08:00A Run in the Cold--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: verdana;">I went for a run after work today, even though the temperature was only about 37 degrees. That was fine with me, though--with long sleeves and running pants and a nice warm hat, I practically didn't notice the temperature at all. That's the way it usually is with a run after work on days like this--I don't feel like going outside because it's cold and my home is nice and warm and cozy, but I force myself to do so anyway. And once I get out there, I enjoy it a lot. Some of the best runs of my life have come on days when I would have preferred not to run at all due to weather conditions. But I've run anyway, and it's been great. It often makes me wonder what else in my life I might have been avoiding, and that I might have missed because it seemed like it might be unpleasant. It's so easy for us to slip into comfort mode, to look around ourselves and say, "This is nice right here and right now--there's no need to do anything else." The thing is, though, that running is the activity that most contributes to my good health, and if I don't do it, I gain weight and I lose fitness. I'm not a fanatic about fitness, but I do want to stay healthy, and running is an important part of that. What else could I be enjoying in life because I think it might be a bit unpleasant? What am I avoiding that I should be searching out and enjoying? I'm definitely not always the best judge of what's best for me, and it may be worth my while to start paying attention to things that I'm avoiding for some reason. Who knows? There's a chance that what I'm avoiding could be just what I need! The run in the cold today was very enjoyable, even though it seemed that it wouldn't be. What else is tricking me?</span><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-51537983031318530422023-12-11T14:03:00.000-08:002023-12-11T14:03:36.674-08:00Children Inside--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="background-color: white; color: maroon;">The most sophisticated people I know--inside they are all children. -</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: maroon;">Jim Henson</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: maroon;">It always astonishes me to see just how much we tend to value the things of adulthood and just how little we tend to value the things of childhood. In my mind and in my heart, the things of childhood seem to be much more authentic, much more kind, much more interested in the world, much more human. As adults we start to judge and to demand and to expect. As children, we tend to wonder, to appreciate, to love, to hope. We allow our minds to fly as we give ourselves wings to think of things that aren't necessarily important to anyone else, while as adults we think in the ways we're "supposed" to think, and we allow our perspectives to be overwhelmed by the demands of society. While being a child isn't necessarily something that we all want to do, I do find it a shame that we for some reason reject out of hand all the things of childhood when so many of those things could make for a very happy adulthood if we could only hold on to them. I love feeling a sense of wonder when the snow is falling, and I love looking at a new person with no judgment at all--just the simple acceptance of another human being who is in my life. We can all be children inside if we don't simply reject the things of childhood, and if we allow them to be an important part of who we are--and if we do so, our lives will be richer and more fulfilling.</span><br /><br /><br /></span></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/children.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="132" data-original-width="350" height="132" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/children.jpg" width="350" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /><span style="color: maroon;"><br /></span></span></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-60327497060105520522023-12-10T15:31:00.000-08:002023-12-10T15:31:05.583-08:00Taking a Rest--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: verdana;">One of the things that I like best in this world is a day when I don't have tons of obligations, when I can look at the weather report and see that we're supposed to be hit with a severe rainstorm that's going to last all day, and I can say to myself, "It's a rest day." A day with heavy rain doesn't allow for many of the chores and tasks that I normally do around the house, so when it happens, I try to take advantage of the weather and do as little as I can on that day--and it's wonderful when it happens on a weekend. After all, I spend the whole week working, and my normal tendency over the weekend is to get some work done here, stuff that I can't do during the week because I'm busy at work. I don't feel that I overwork myself, because I actually enjoy doing many of the chores that I do around the house, but it is nice when nature tells me on a given day that I'm not going to be doing any tasks at all. Of course, the temptation to do work online then comes up, but I've gotten pretty good at rejecting that sort of thing in favor of a nice nap or some time reading. We all need rest--that's a given in life, non-negotiable--but many of us are reticent to take the rests when we have the opportunity to do so because we feel somehow guilty, like for some reason we should be doing some work on Saturday or Sunday afternoon simply because. So I do my best to force myself to rest, to reject the temptation to do some online work in favor of lying down on the couch to nap for half an hour or so. When we have the chance to rest, we should take it whenever it rears its head--otherwise we risk burning out, and then we won't be helpful to anyone at all in any way at all.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/rest.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="119" data-original-width="350" height="119" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/rest.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-86171987755117557192023-12-09T15:55:00.000-08:002023-12-09T15:55:20.446-08:00Three and a Half--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;">I had a wonderful opportunity last night: my wife and I babysat for two little kids, twins, who are three and a half years old. My wife knows them very well, as she nannies for them three times a week, but I had met them only twice in passing, so I didn't know them as well. But for me, the chance to spend a few hours with a couple of little kids is always a wonderful opportunity. And we did have a wonderful time. We played hide-and-seek, we drew pictures, we ate dinner, we talked, my wife and I read to them--it was simply a great time. Tiring, a bit, but great. Little kids, if we treat them well, have so much to teach us. They enjoy life for exactly what it is, they show their joy, they express themselves honestly (such as at bedtime, when the girl wanted her mommy because she wasn't used to going to bed without her mother around). Her crying didn't last long, though, because she found something better to do--reading to her dolls in bed, until she fell asleep. To me, time spent with little ones is always a blessing, especially when they're really nice little kids (and most are) as these were. I read to the boy until he couldn't hold his head up any longer, then my wife carried him to bed, where he crashed. If you ever want to reset things, to see the world in a different way, to feel more of the love of and passion for life, do yourself a favor and spend a little time with a very little kid, and don't try to order the kid around--let them be who they are, and learn from who they are rather than trying to make them learn what you think they should learn.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/children.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="132" data-original-width="350" height="132" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/children.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-92050371162255118212023-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:002023-12-06T16:55:49.540-08:00Youthful Decisions--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana;">Working with young people, I'm constantly faced with certain frustrations. If I could teach them anything that I think might help them to lead happy and fulfilling lives, high on my list would be the art of decision-making. What I see in the kids of today is often an inability to make decisions that will prove to be helpful to them, or positive for them. Of course, there have been kids making bad decisions for all of history--they're still young and they usually don't have the experience behind them that would help them to understand how to weigh their options before making important decisions. In fact, they often don't have the experience necessary to even understand or recognize their options. If they've had good teachers in their lives, they're usually a bit better prepared for decision-making, but it seems that these days they have less positive adult input in their lives than they used to. This lack of connection with older people who could be passing on their knowledge and wisdom is a great detriment to the young people, who tend to get most of their "learning" from screens these days. Unfortunately, the screens can't help them when some sort of dilemma arises, and the lack of previous learning from the people who used to be role models often keeps them from making decisions that are positive and helpful to them in their lives. I do my best at school to teach them how to look at things in ways that will help them to make good decisions, but the deck seems to be stacked against them in many ways. So if you see any young people who seem to be making really bad decisions, don't be too upset with them. Rather, it may do them--and you--a great deal of good to try to help them to understand the importance of decision-making, and help them to develop a process of their own to come to decisions that will help them to build their lives rather than sabotage them.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/decisions.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="155" data-original-width="350" height="155" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images/decisions.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-48117460063904223272023-12-05T15:54:00.000-08:002023-12-05T15:54:13.490-08:00What Came before--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: verdana;">I'm teaching Spanish now, and unfortunately, many of the students have a very difficult time of learning the language. One of my classes is Spanish 3, and one of the things that I find out rather consistently is who the students had for their Spanish 1 teacher. Many of the students took Spanish in middle school, and many of them had a certain teacher who I know demands almost nothing of his kids in class. His own Spanish is rather mediocre, and he's happy just to throw a worksheet or two at the kids to keep them busy for the time they happen to be in his classroom. And I get them in my classes later, in high school, only to find that they're sorely lacking in the knowledge and skills that they really should have if they want to study Spanish 3. I have to be lenient, though, because I know that their learning was sabotaged by a teacher who didn't challenge them or guide them through the process of learning the early steps of this particular language. And I try to remember that I could apply this approach to almost everyone in every situation--someone could be bad at relationships because of what came before; someone else could constantly say inappropriate or insensitive or even rude things because of what came before, another person could be afraid of taking risks or taking on challenges because of what came before. If I maintain my sensitivity and compassion, I can refrain from judging people harshly because I usually have no idea what came before, and my harsh judgment now may end up being "what came before" later, when they would be much better off having memories of my helpfulness and encouragement, and my efforts to help them to learn and perhaps even make up for some of the time they lost with what came before.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: verdana;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/learning.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="81" data-original-width="350" height="81" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/learning.jpg" width="350" /></a></span></div><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: verdana;"><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><br /><br /><br /><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-21473250051078051872023-12-04T14:42:00.000-08:002023-12-04T14:42:38.376-08:00Intentions--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: verdana;">Christmas is a good time for me to reflect on intention--why do I want to do the things I want to do during the holiday season? I want to give certain gifts to certain people, of course, but is that because I care for them and want to do something nice for them, or because I want to be thanked or seen in a different light by the recipient or other people who know I've given the gift? My wife and I regularly buy gifts for families that have signed up with organizations that help to match gift donors with needy families, and it's important to ask ourselves if we're doing that because we want to feel better about ourselves, or because we want to provide a few nice Christmas gifts to some kids who otherwise might not get anything? Of course, the answer is pretty much always the latter, but I think it is worthwhile to at least ask ourselves the question about our motivation so that we can be sure that we're doing things for the right reason. When talking about getting gifts for kids who may not get anything otherwise, I'm sure that even if there are some selfish motives, the fact that the gifts are being given makes it a good thing anyway, so there's no problem even if the motive isn't simply giving. But if we get into giving to make ourselves feel better or to impress other people, then it's pretty sure that we're in for some sort of disappointment because people generally don't act in the ways we want or expect them to act. My main goal, though, is to make sure that I can feel a clear conscience when I know that my desire to give gifts isn't at all motivated by what I may get back in return, and that I can completely forget the fact that we gave what we gave, knowing that it's now in the hands of the person or people it was meant to be in.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-73667588436742461152023-12-03T16:01:00.000-08:002023-12-03T16:01:19.426-08:00Getting Ready for the Holidays--A Paragraph a Day<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: verdana;">One thing that I've learned over the years is that it's necessary for me to do things early during the holiday season if I'm going to enjoy the season for all that it's worth. I have to get gifts early, I have to get them wrapped, and I have to get the gifts and the cards mailed very early. What I've learned is that it's much nicer to sacrifice some time in early December than it is to be stressed out near Christmas. It's one of those trade-offs that is more than worth it--I lose a few hours of what could be productive or restful time early in the month, but when Christmas does show up, I'm done with all that I need to do, and I can relax and enjoy sitting around and drinking egg nog and reading <i>A Christmas Carol</i>. I don't have to worry about gifts or deadlines or stores that are out of what I need. I don't have to do any last-minute shopping, and I can help others with things that they may need to have done. Sometimes life becomes easier when we're willing to sacrifice something today to make for a better tomorrow. One of the times that I've found illustrates this point very well is the Christmas season. If I'm willing to spend some time early in the month making the lists I need to make and doing what the lists ask me to do, then I can have a holiday that's relaxing and stress-free, and surprisingly enjoyable! I'm not extremely good at it yet, but I'm working on it--the holiday season gets less and less stressful each year that it comes, because I'm getting better at meeting it on my terms, and taking care of things earlier rather than later.<br /><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://livinglifefully.com/xmas.html" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="100" data-original-width="285" height="100" src="https://livinglifefully.com/images/welcome.jpg" width="285" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7959727109321115327.post-62361331020865729442023-12-02T14:02:00.000-08:002023-12-02T14:02:10.745-08:00Heart or Brain?--A Paragraph a Day<p><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: verdana;">Sometimes I think too much with my brain, and not enough with my heart. Actually, I take that back--it's not sometimes. Almost always, I think too much with my brain, and not enough with my heart. I try to approach things logically, I try to figure things out, I try to come up with solutions. I'm not as bad as it as I used to be--as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I grew up with some pretty extreme issues concerning control of situations--but I still do it far more than I'd like, or even than I'd like to admit. I've grown up trusting my brain to work its way through virtually everything, rather than allowing my heart to let me know that some things are just fine the way they are, and I don't need to spend any effort trying to "fix" them. My heart accepts others more quickly and more fully than my brain does, and it appreciates some of the blessings of my life more fully than my brain does. My brain likes to find fault with things, and it likes to find ways to improve them; my heart accepts and appreciates things as they are, and it allows them to be just what they are without change, and it helps me to show that appreciation and love much more than my brain does. I know that people in my life have been affected by me in many more positive ways when I've been following my heart rather than my brain, and one thing I truly want to keep doing is raising the percentage of time I allow my heart to be the dominant force in my life rather than my brain. I'm a more caring and compassionate person when I do so.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://livinglifefully.com/heart.htm" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="128" data-original-width="350" height="128" src="http://livinglifefully.com/images/heart.jpg" width="350" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="blogger-post-footer">Much, much more is available at livinglifefully.com, the web's most extensive source of motivating and inspiring material.</div>tdwhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17648570290738037124noreply@blogger.com0