The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a
particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change
its form. . . happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.
Charles L. Morgan
It seems to be a common mistake that we make, thinking that happiness is always going to be the same thing for us. It changes not just as we grow up and learn about different possibilities in life, but it also changes day by day, hour by hour. While I may find happiness in the morning by going for a long, easy run, my happiness in the afternoon will consist of curling up on the couch next to a lamp with a book in my hands and a glass of wine on the table next to me. Neither of those things would have made me even the slightest bit happy when I was ten or twelve years old. Happiness isn't a question of specific things that have to happen or we're unhappy--happiness is recognizing where we are and when it is and finding what's best for us at that moment.
Is that new job going to bring you lasting happiness? Nope. It may provide conditions that can contribute to your happiness, but the job itself won't make you happy. You must look for what makes you happy and allow that to change and grow as you move on in your life. Something that made you happy one or five or fifteen years ago can't be expected to still bring you happiness--you're a different person now, and your needs and desires have changed significantly, so you need to find the new forms of happiness that are much more fitting for you now.
It's very common to see people feel confused when they realize that the things that used to make the happy no longer do so. You may grow perplexed from time to time, also. But when you open yourself up to the possibility that change has happened and you follow your heart to find out what makes you happy now, you can find a whole new world of happiness--and it already surrounds you. It's just waiting for you to recognize it.
30 April 2018
27 April 2018
Cooperation
What we need to do is learn to work in the system, by which I mean
that everybody, every team, every platform, every division, every
component is there not for competitive profit or recognition, but for
contribution to the system as a whole on a win-win basis.
W. Edwards Deming
We've got it wrong in our country--dreadfully wrong. We've devolved into a society that focuses on separation and competition rather than cooperation, and we're paying a very heavy price for that. We've lost the respect for other people's positions and opinions, and we no longer ask someone who disagrees with us for their opinions of advice, and we suffer because of it. Sometimes, the very thing we need to improve dramatically is input from someone who doesn't agree with us, for their perspective is very different from ours--and there's a very good chance that they see something that we don't. All of us have a limited perspective, and if we choose to respect input from only those people who agree with us, we're keeping ourselves down for good. If we can't see the bigger pictures in life, we function in very limited ways.
We're not here to compete with each other--we're here to cooperate with each other. We're not here to judge and insult people who disagree with us--we're here to learn from them. Until we learn how to cooperate, especially with those whose positions are different from ours, we're merely limited little creatures who are trying so hard to maintain and defend our version of reality that we lose sight of the fact that the world is much bigger than we are, that there are different perspectives everywhere we look--and they could be very valuable to us as we try to improve our lives and the lives of those we love. Because we ignore them, though, they're like picnic baskets that are full of wonderful food--but that we never open because we don't like its color or its shape.
that everybody, every team, every platform, every division, every
component is there not for competitive profit or recognition, but for
contribution to the system as a whole on a win-win basis.
W. Edwards Deming
We've got it wrong in our country--dreadfully wrong. We've devolved into a society that focuses on separation and competition rather than cooperation, and we're paying a very heavy price for that. We've lost the respect for other people's positions and opinions, and we no longer ask someone who disagrees with us for their opinions of advice, and we suffer because of it. Sometimes, the very thing we need to improve dramatically is input from someone who doesn't agree with us, for their perspective is very different from ours--and there's a very good chance that they see something that we don't. All of us have a limited perspective, and if we choose to respect input from only those people who agree with us, we're keeping ourselves down for good. If we can't see the bigger pictures in life, we function in very limited ways.
We're not here to compete with each other--we're here to cooperate with each other. We're not here to judge and insult people who disagree with us--we're here to learn from them. Until we learn how to cooperate, especially with those whose positions are different from ours, we're merely limited little creatures who are trying so hard to maintain and defend our version of reality that we lose sight of the fact that the world is much bigger than we are, that there are different perspectives everywhere we look--and they could be very valuable to us as we try to improve our lives and the lives of those we love. Because we ignore them, though, they're like picnic baskets that are full of wonderful food--but that we never open because we don't like its color or its shape.
25 April 2018
Finding Fault
My days of whining and complaining about others have come to an end.
Nothing is easier than fault-finding. All it will do is discolor my personality
so that none will want to associate with me. That was my old life. No more.
Og Mandino
It's so incredibly easy to find fault with others, especially since our society has developed into one in which we value criticism more than we value praise or encouragement. But fault-finding helps almost no one at all--and in fact hurts more people than we can really imagine, including ourselves. We were not placed on this planet in order to find problems with other people--we were put here to have the chance to become the best people we possibly can be, and that means making sure that we're improving ourselves, not trying to make others conform to our ideas of what should be.
Some of us have jobs that require us to find faults. I taught writing for many years, and it was very important that I point out what kinds of mistakes students were making. But it was also very important for me to model the more effective ways of doing things, and to give them feedback that told them when they were improving. But for the most part, we're not here to point out other people's faults just to make ourselves feel a tiny bit better for a very short time. We'll be much more effective in making this world a better place and ourselves better people if we stick to encouragement and praise of others. There already are plenty of people who find fault all the time. We don't need to be a part of that group--it doesn't help us to make our lives better even in the slightest.
Nothing is easier than fault-finding. All it will do is discolor my personality
so that none will want to associate with me. That was my old life. No more.
Og Mandino
It's so incredibly easy to find fault with others, especially since our society has developed into one in which we value criticism more than we value praise or encouragement. But fault-finding helps almost no one at all--and in fact hurts more people than we can really imagine, including ourselves. We were not placed on this planet in order to find problems with other people--we were put here to have the chance to become the best people we possibly can be, and that means making sure that we're improving ourselves, not trying to make others conform to our ideas of what should be.
Some of us have jobs that require us to find faults. I taught writing for many years, and it was very important that I point out what kinds of mistakes students were making. But it was also very important for me to model the more effective ways of doing things, and to give them feedback that told them when they were improving. But for the most part, we're not here to point out other people's faults just to make ourselves feel a tiny bit better for a very short time. We'll be much more effective in making this world a better place and ourselves better people if we stick to encouragement and praise of others. There already are plenty of people who find fault all the time. We don't need to be a part of that group--it doesn't help us to make our lives better even in the slightest.
05 April 2018
Which do you choose?
When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure--the wasteland of illusion falls awayand we experience heaven on earth. -Sarah Ban Breathnach
This is one of those "that's easy to say" concepts. In my life, I definitely have spent much more time focusing on what I didn't have than on what I had. Over the last two decades, though, I've been able to shift my thinking so that I'm more focused on what I do have--all of the great things that are all around me--and my life is much richer and full as a result. It wasn't an easy shift to make, though. It took a lot of effort to constantly remind myself of the importance of being aware of what I was focusing on, and especially to catch myself when I was being negative, when I was focusing on the lack.
So now my main effort is to maintain my focus on what I do have and what is there in life for me to experience and enjoy. I can go for a walk in the woods whenever I want, and I can see flowers or listen to very good music at any time. Seemingly negative things still happen fairly regularly--life is like that. But I try to deal with them as soon as I can and then move on. If someone says something awful to me, I move my thoughts to people who are kind to me. If I have to spend a lot of money to fix something, I focus on the money I do have and the things it allows me to do.
The most important word in the passage from Sarah, of course, is "choose."
http://livinglifefully.com/abundance.htm
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