Thoughts

Our best friend and our worst enemies are our thoughts.
A thought can do us more good than a doctor or a banker
or a faithful friend.  It can also do us more harm than a brick.
-Frank Crane


Boy, do I wish I could internalize this message more strongly and stop having all these negative, stressful thoughts!  I am much better at thinking in positive ways than I used to be, but this is a trait that I've had since childhood, and while I do my best to banish it from my life, it still hangs on, often keeping me in a very stressful state when there's really no reason to be stressing at all.

As I grow older, I do understand more the importance of thinking in positive, uplifting ways, especially having witnessed in my life so often the terrible ways that I feel when I'm thinking negatively.  It used to be that one negative incident, one setback, would get me to thinking of just how terrible life is, just how little hope there was for me to lead a happy and productive life, etc., etc., etc.

And this would go on for days sometimes, depending on the severity of the problem.

Nowadays, though, I realize that setbacks are just setbacks, and even more important, I realize that there's something positive to learn from every setback or problem that hits us in life.  I also realize that the way I react to setbacks is A) up to me, and B) one of the biggest determiners of how I feel about life and myself over the next few hours or days.  My thoughts can harm me, if I let them, but they also can lift me up and help me to transcend difficult moments and situations.

If you think you're a loser, you're going to act like one.  If you think that you're a kind, caring, compassionate human being who sometimes runs into setbacks, then guess what?  If you think that you're an unlikable person, then you're going to give other people very few reasons to like you.  If you think, though, that there's no reason at all not to like you, then others will respond to the confidence that your thoughts inspire.  Not everyone will like you, of course--there are people out there who dislike just about everyone for some reason or another, but that's okay.  You don't like everyone either, do you?

Take control of your thoughts and banish the negative ones when they show up.  Banish them by putting on a song that you love to dance to.  Banish them by reading a page or two of something positive that you love to read, or by watching a movie that lifts you up out of negative thoughts.  But keep on working on it, because this is a trait that hangs on, and that takes a lot of effort to work through.  I know, because I'm still working at it after decades of effort!

Today!

You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled
with twenty-four hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the
universe of your life.  It is yours.  It is the most precious of
possessions.  No one can take it from you.  It is unstealable.
And no one receives either more or less than you receive.
-Arnold Bennett

I have today--it's already here, and I'm alive and awake, so it's important that I celebrate the simple fact that I have today!

I don't need to make this the most special day of my life.  I don't need to do anything super special to make the day amazing.  There are so many things in my life that I love doing, many of which don't cost a cent, that I can string together to make today an amazing day in my life.  I can sit and read a good book for an hour or two; I can go for a walk and breathe the fresh air; I can make a cup of coffee and drink it slowly and quietly in some relaxed place--or in a nice cafe where I'm surrounded by people that I can watch and whose company I enjoy.

I can do a couple of the odd jobs that I've been meaning to do; I can cook a very nice lunch or dinner that doesn't have to be extravagant to be really good; I can call someone I love on the phone and talk for a while; I can watch an uplifting or exciting movie.

What I do with this day is completely up to me, of course.  If I have to work, then how I approach the tasks that I do is also up to me--I can approach them as challenges and try to do my best at all of them, or I can see them as drudgery and give them the bare minimum of my effort, thus ensuring that I won't find a lot of enjoyment in my work today.  And while at work, I can share my smile with my co-workers and colleagues, and I can encourage others with positive comments rather than criticize or even ignore them.

My today is just that:  my today.  Some unpleasantness may creep in here and there, but it's up to me how I deal with that--I don't have to let unpleasantness ruin my day, because I can just deal with it and move on.

You have your today, too.  I sincerely hope that you're able to make the very most of it, and that you're able to see it as the wonderful treasure that it truly is!

Enjoy!

A magical world

Disbelief in magic can force
a poor soul into believing in
government and business.
-Tom Robbins


It is a magical world, isn't it?  Unfortunately, many of us have lost our ability to see that magic, to enjoy it, to appreciate it.  We spend so much time looking for explanations that we often aren't able to experience the magic of the world--the shine of the rainbow, the smile of a child, the thrill that runs through us when we hear a hawk call or a baby laugh.

Our world is full of magic, yet we feel the need to explain it away, to pretend that it isn't magic because there's a scientific explanation behind it.  I usually don't care about the scientific explanations, though, because that's just so much information.  I know how rainbows come to be, but my knowledge of the process really means nothing when one is shining in the sky--it's an awe-inspiring sight, and if I acknowledge that awe and allow it to wash over me as it should, then the rainbow is an incredible experience.

When I'm walking through a forest or a park, I'm often surrounded by trees and plants that used to be minuscule seeds, and that are giving off oxygen as they breathe--the very thing that I need to sustain my life.  The person I'm talking to used to be a sperm and an egg, in two separate bodies, and her or his body is being controlled by electrical impulses that originate in the brain that allows for thought and logic and humor and so much more.

That house you live in?  If it's made of wood, it originated in a handful of seeds.  The water you drink that keeps you alive?  It consists of groupings of atoms that occur elsewhere, too, but that have somehow come together to become water.

That person likes you.  You like that other person.  Someone smiles at you and you feel good because of it.  We strike a match and we have flame.  There's so much magic in the world that the list would be far too long to write if I were to dedicate myself to it, so let's just accept the fact that the world is full of magic, keep our eyes open to see it and recognize it, and then appreciate it fully once we do know just what it is.

Are we really separate from others?

No one is an island, entire of itself; everyone is a piece of Continent,
a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is
the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor or thy
friends or of thine own were; any person's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in Humankind.   -John Donne


We like to think of ourselves as islands, don't we?  We like to consider ourselves as unique, separate entities that really don't have any connection to our fellow human beings unless we decide to forge such a connection by talking to them, caring for them, being with them.  But we're way off base when we look at our realities this way, and we only have to look at the amazing amount of discord and stress and conflict in our world today to realize that we are causing this discord with our unfortunate tendency to consider ourselves as separate from everyone else.

We think it makes life easier for us if we maintain separation from others.  After all, we don't want to deal with everyone else's drama and problems and issues, and when someone starts getting annoying, it's easy to just cut off contact with that person.  But do we ever consider the possibility that so many people have issues and problems because of the ways that we separate ourselves from others?  Do we ever stop to think that perhaps acknowledging our oneness and our unity could be an important step towards healing many, many people of fear and anxiety that result from feelings of separation and isolation and aloneness?  Many or the current issues facing human beings are actually caused by our insistence on seeing ourselves as individuals rather than acknowledging our place as a part of the whole.

It's often difficult to focus on oneness and unity when so few others are doing so.  But it's not impossible.  We simply need to be willing to take a risk and love and care for others who may seem unlovable or unpleasant.  Loving them doesn't mean that we have to care for them as we care for a spouse or a child, but it does mean acknowledging their existence as human beings who are part of the same whole that we are--the human species, which is on this planet to live together and to share love, but which is actually living separately and refusing to share love with anyone other than their closest companions.

We are all part of one.  Why must we look at ourselves as separate when we are actually a whole, albeit a non-unified whole?

The Best Policy?

We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to
our children that honesty is the best policy.

George Bernard Shaw


We live in a world in which people seem to have lost their desire to be honest.  Nowadays (and probably in the past, too), honesty is something that is practiced as long as it can benefit someone.  "I'll be honest if there's something to gain from it," seems to be the standard attitude towards the concept.  Advertisers will be honest as far as it serves them, but they'll leave out information that could be vital for me to make a good decision about whether to buy their goods or contract their services.  All in all, honesty seems to have become the black sheep of the family, the person that people deal with only if they absolutely have to, only when they might lose out on something if they don't.

Bit it's important that we don't lose our relationship with honesty.  It's one of the cornerstones of strong relationships, and when we practice it consistently, people know that they can depend on us, and that's something very valuable that we can give to others and to ourselves.  Honesty taken too far can be hurtful and damaging, of course, but we can recognize those situations ourselves and deal with them when they occur--for the most part, honesty definitely is important.

In our political and economic worlds of today, though, honesty has lost its luster.  The Internet is full of blatant lies that are designed only to harm others and to make someone feel better about his or her views.  And those lies are being spread constantly be people WHO KNOW THEY ARE LIES, but who feel that they validate their own beliefs and ideals.  But you and I don't have to do that.  You and I need to strengthen our relationship with the truth and learn about when the truth should be revealed, and when it shouldn't.  We shouldn't ever hide it for personal gain, but only to protect others--there are situations when complete honesty can be incredibly damaging.

We know who we are, and we know that we want to live our lives fully--and honesty is one of the most important aspects of the character that we must develop in order to do so.  Let honesty into your life--live it and love it and share it.  Let others know that you're someone who can be trusted, and they'll appreciate you for that.  Most of all, though, you'll be a bright light in a dark world, and one of the people responsible for keeping honesty alive during these dark times.

Are you listening to the song?

Deep inside, our integrity sings to us whether we are listening or not.
It is a note that only we can hear.  Eventually, when life makes us ready
to listen, it will help us to find our way home.

Rachel Naomi Remen

We all are blessed with integrity--the question is whether we're willing to listen to it or not, whether we're willing to allow it to become a guiding force in our lives.  Many of us like to put it aside, to hide it in a closet or a drawer, while we make decisions more for expediency and personal gain than for the sake of maintaining our integrity.

The dictionary definitions of the word are interesting.  It gives us what most of us see as the main definition, that of "the quality of being honest, etc."  But the second definition is also extremely important--possibly more important to me.  It says:  "The state of being whole and undivided."  Now, how many of us can say that about ourselves?  I want to be able to, and I wish I could, but I'm not sure that I'd be being honest if I were to say that I am "whole and undivided."  I divide myself too much, and I'm not sure that I do have that kind of integrity.  If my heart tells me to treat a person a certain way, yet I don't do so, do I have integrity?  If I know that there are rules about computer use at work, yet I spend time on Facebook in violation of those rules, do I have integrity?  No, because there are competing forces against me.  I've made an agreement to abide by the rules of my workplace, and because I'm violating that agreement, I'm torn inside.  I know that I've made a promise that I'm now breaking, and that's never a good feeling.

Our integrity is a wonderful guide through life, if we but heed it.  Sometimes we don't heed it because we're not ready to do so, and one of our goals in life should be to work towards living always according to our integrity.  Other times, though, we fail to heed our integrity by choice, and that choice always will lead to harm, one way or another.

Listen to the song your integrity sings, and live by that song.  It truly is a beautiful song, one that can definitely, as Rachel says, lead us home.