Enlightened acceptance

If I could define enlightenment briefly I would say it is
"the quiet acceptance of what is."   -Wayne Dyer


I really like and appreciate this line from Wayne.  Perhaps I like it because of the use of the word "acceptance" in relation to enlightenment.  Perhaps I like it because of his use of the word "quiet."  No matter what the reasons for which I like it, though, it's a very important line for me because it tells me a lot about enlightenment and the paths I should be striving for in life if I actually want to reach some level of being enlightened.

Enlightenment really is quiet.  You don't see it in the lives of braggarts and blowhards--in fact, you probably don't recognize enlightenment too often because those who are enlightened have absolutely no need to make their enlightenment known.  Sometimes we get enlightened people who are in the public eye, such as the Dalai Lama or Mother Teresa, but for the most part I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of enlightened people are among us every day, sharing our lives with us, witnessing our actions and reactions, and simply accepting us as we are.

Enlightenment, I believe, has to contain acceptance of the way things are because there really is no way to affect the way things are.  We can work to change situations, but that affects the future present moments, not right now.  So it's important that we realize that things are the way they are, and wishing they were different leads only to frustration and aggravation, not to constructive action.

Right now, you are who you are.  Next week, you'll be a slightly different person (or possibly a very different person if something drastic happens to you).  Accept that, and work with it for what it is.  Right now, our political situation is what it is.  Next week, it can be slightly different with a bit of input from people who haven't given input before, or a bit more input from people who have been trying for a while to improve things.  The enlightened person realizes that things are as they are.  They don't always have to be that way--and in fact, they're bound to change one way or another eventually--but wishing they were different is an ineffective way to approach our lives.

Do you control your possessions, or do they control you?

If we did but know how little some enjoy of the great things
that they possess, there would not be much envy in the world.
-Edward Young


I knew a man once who earned a great deal of money and who had all the trappings of a "good life"--at least, all the trappings that money could buy.  The house, the collectible car, the clothing, the expensive vacations, etc., etc., etc.  Unfortunately, this man was very unhappy.  He didn't enjoy anything that he had.  Rather, he stressed about it all.  The car stayed locked inside of a climate-controlled garage so that there would be no risk of scratches.  The house remained a showcase--there were entire rooms blocked off so that there wouldn't be any footprints in the carpet.  Eventually, he ended up having several surgeries for stress-related illnesses, and none of what he possessed could help him to recover.

I have quite a few possessions, but I try to make sure that they're things I can enjoy--books to read, movies to watch, music to listen to, bookcases to keep the books on.  But when I look about myself right now, I see a wonderful table that I bought at a thrift store for $20, a bookcase that I built myself very inexpensively, an inexpensive couch and chair that we absolutely love.  I don't think that everything should be bought as cheaply as possible, but I know from experience that more expensive does not equal better.  We enjoy our possessions--we make full use of them and when we're done with them, we give them away to someone else who can use them.

I don't envy people with lots of possessions for two reasons:  first, having lots of possessions means a lot of work in maintaining them, and I have better things to do than to maintain possessions; and second, many of the people who focus on getting things constantly need more things, and they never really enjoy the things they already have.

Look around at your possessions.  Enjoy them.  If they don't fit you any more, get rid of them.  You'll be doing yourself a great favor when you establish a healthy relationship with the things you possess, instead of letting them control you, your thoughts, and your actions.

What do I care about?

It is fair to say that the world around you is a mirror.  Therefore

you have a lot more control over the future than you might think,
because you can shape your world just by being true
to what you really care about.
-Bradley Trevor Greive


It's sometimes difficult for me to believe that life is a mirror, and that it reflects what I put into it.  After all, so many things happen that are completely out of my control that it's not really fair to say that our current political situation is my fault.  Maybe it is, and if that's the case, I'm sorry--but I'm pretty sure that politics in our country today have very little to do with me.

Then what does Bradley mean here?  I think he means that we have to redefine our worlds to include those things over which we have some true sort of influence.  The way I treat that man in the supermarket, the ways in which I interact with friends and coworkers, the love that I show--or fail to show--to my family.  These are all part of my world, and they really do depend on my actions and attitudes.  And what comes tomorrow in my world is going to be more a result of what I do today than it's going to be a result of chance, or of other people's input.

Just because I smile at someone doesn't mean that person has to smile back.  That would be an unrealistic expectation on my part, and I don't want to be disappointed anymore by unfulfilled expectations.  Just because I'm polite to you doesn't mean you'll be polite to me--I have no idea what kinds of tribulations you may be going through today.  That's not what Bradley is talking about.  What he means is that if you're not polite to me today, I see that as an opportunity to be compassionate, or I see it as something terrible that's going to make me feel bad.  If I lose something important, I can see it as a disaster, or as something that's going to make me think more about how important it's been to me.  And my tomorrow is going to depend on my balance and clarity today--I have much more of a chance to be working where I want to be tomorrow if I take great care in being a good person who instills confidence in my abilities during today's job interview.  I have a better chance of being surrounded by friends if I treat people well today, if I show them that I care for them.

You do shape your world, and your tomorrow does depend on what you do today.  Be aware of this fact, and make your tomorrow bright by doing good today.  Don't get your expectations up too high for specific outcomes, though--sometimes life knows better than you do what's best for you!

http://livinglifefully.com/life4.htm