We get it all wrong if we think that Christmas is anything but a season for love. From the origin of the day--the story of a woman and a man who traveled far and ended up in a stable where their child was born--to this very moment, the heart of Christmas is love. If we see it as anything other than that, we're looking at it through a warped perspective--not necessarily a negative or terrible perspective, but a warped one nonetheless. And that happens--we can get so caught up in buying gifts and preparing food and decorating the house and buying and wrapping presents that we stop seeing the holiday for what it truly is: an opportunity to share love with the people whom we love.When we think of the origins of all that we do, the love is quite obvious. We invite friends and family to our homes because we want to share what we have, and we want to show the love that we feel for them. And when friends and families are coming over, we naturally want to cook for them--sharing a meal is one of the oldest and most common traditions that is based on sharing love, for when we feed someone else, we're literally contributing to helping them live.We buy gifts for people because we think of what they need or would like to have, and we want to provide for that need or fulfill that desire, simply because we love them, not because we want anything from them. We spend time thinking of or looking for just the right gift for each person, and then we purchase it or make it for them, just because we want to show that person how much we care for them. After all, if we can give just the right gift, then we show that we actually know a person, and how many of us feel loved when someone else knows us well enough to know what we like? I know that I do.I think that much of the stress of Christmas comes from taking on too many tasks--too many ways to show others that we love them. Rather than enjoying simple holidays with simple gifts, we tend to feel that what we have to offer just isn't enough, so we decide to offer more. After all, more is better, right? Not at all.Showing our love is a tremendously important part of our lives, but when we try to overdo it, a lot of things can happen. We get stressed because we have so many things to do, and when that happens, what we're doing becomes less an act of love and more a task that has to be done. When we don't see what we're doing as something that benefits those we love, we see it as something else, don't we? If we can focus on the love, we can do the tasks lovingly; if we're worried that we won't finish baking in time to wrap all the presents, then we start to feel stress and our baking is one of the causes of stress.We've all seen it happen: good people with good hearts take on too much and they become cranky and stressed. They snap at people and they're not in nearly as good a mood as they usually are. Because they're stressed, the work that they're doing loses much of its meaning and they may even start to resent the work. The love becomes secondary, or even tertiary--if it's even there at all any more. And Christmas becomes, in their eyes, almost an enemy, a time of the year that brings stress and frustration and hectic days and nights.Of course, it doesn't have to be that way. We can refrain from trying to do everything for everyone, and when that question comes up, "If I don't do, who will?", then maybe the best answer is "No one." Perhaps that particular task doesn't need to be done this Christmas, and we can take a step towards simplifying our holiday season. Or perhaps there's someone else who is more than willing to do that certain task--a young child who wants to take on a new responsibility, maybe--and we can make things easier on ourselves by letting someone else do some of the things we normally feel that we need to do.It is a shame when we lose the beauty of the season to the stress of the season. But we really do have a choice in the matter--it's not always an easy choice, but the choice is there. And one thing I know for sure from experience is that I would much rather do without certain things and see the people I love enjoying the holiday than have "everything" at the cost of some people I love being so stressed out that they forget the message of love around which this holiday is based. Be the loving person, and put yourself in a position in which you're fully present to each moment the season brings, sharing your love actively with the people around you. You'll feel much better when you do so, and just as importantly, the people you love will be glad to have the full, loving you present.
I don’t paint things. I only paint the difference between things.
Henri Matisse
Sometimes, differences are the most important parts of our world. If there weren't differences between people and things and colors and sounds, our lives would be devoid of diversity and art and music. While differences are definitely something that should be celebrated by all of us, we unfortunately seem to react negatively to many of them. If someone doesn't do something the "right" way, if someone is wearing "weird" clothes or even "acting weird," we tend to react in ways that tell that person that he or she is doing something wrong by not conforming to the "norms" that are so important to us.
But if I'm a green and you're a yellow, that's a wonderful thing. And it's wonderful simply because it is so, not because of any sort of inherent value in either of the colors. What tends to happen to us, though, is that we like to fit in ourselves, so I would tend to gravitate towards other greens. I feel safe if I do so because we share something very important, and I'm never going to get mocked for my color by other greens, because they're green, too. And once I'm together with other greens, we like to look for things that set us apart from others in order to reinforce our self-images. We greens, after all, believe in A, B, and C, while I met a yellow yesterday who actually believes in D and E--those yellows sure are strange, aren't they?
But Matisse understands something very important from an artist's perspective: our differences are worth looking at because they're what allow us to distinguish between things. On a canvas, the ocean is blue and the sky is a different shade of blue--or even yellow or red if you're painting a sunset. Or the ocean can be grey, and the sky a different shade of grey. The trees are green while the pond is blue and the flowers are yellow and red. The differences make the things stand out, and we don't fault an artist for pointing out the differences between yellow flowers and red ones.
For some reason, though, we may find it offensive to point out that one person's skin is darker or lighter than ours. We stay quiet and don't talk about someone else's sexuality, because it's their business.
The important thing to remember, though, is that if no judgment is included in a statement, it's not offensive. If a person is simply making an observation, then what's the problem? Your skin is darker than mine. Cool. You're gay, and I'm not. No big deal. The problems arise when we tie in judgment with our observations--then we're judging others for something as simple as the pigments in their skin, or something as private and personal as their sexual preferences, or for their gender or age.
Matisse didn't judge when he painted differences. If he saw blue, I hope that he used blue paint to represent what he saw. Can you imagine an artist with this plan: "I won't paint any yellow flowers because yellow flowers aren't as good as orange ones"? It would be ridiculous.
Our differences make for an amazing world. None of us really want to imagine a world of identical beings thinking in identical ways and doing identical things--it would be a horrible nightmare. We really must celebrate our differences and accept others just as they are if we're really going to live full and fulfilling lives, for not to do so would be to deny the diversity of life, to limit ourselves to what we consider to be safe, while judging things that make us uncomfortable. And once we start judging other things, we'll never actually learn from them--and that's a terrible tragedy.
More on diversity
I recently discovered that there are two ways of looking at winter--the calendar way, which I'm used to, and the meteorological way, which I'm also used to on an intuitive level. The calendar way, of course, has winter starting on December 21 or so, and ending on March 21 or so. This is how I've learned to see winter all my life, and it's pretty much my go-to way of seeing the season.
But I like much better the idea of winter being the months of December, January and February. I like the fact that the other version of seeing the seasons seems to be more natural, more in tune with what really happens on our planet.
If we follow the meteorological way of looking at the world and its weather, then we just started winter, and I'm fine with that. I like winter--I like the cold, I like the coziness that the darker days and the harsher weather bring into our lives. In summer, I often feel restless if I'm indoors working--I want to be outside, doing something. In winter, though, it's very easy to pick up a book and curl up at one end of the couch and immerse myself in a novel or a good piece of non-fiction. Sometimes I may even want to turn on a good movie on a dreary afternoon, something that I almost never do during the seasons of better weather.
I also find that people are more willing to settle in and spend time together when the weather outside isn't so inviting. Winter is a time when get-togethers last a little longer and run a little more deeply. People tend to be in less of a hurry, for they haven't made so many plans, it seems. They're willing to just be, to have a cup of hot chocolate or coffee or tea and sit for a while and enjoy each other's company.
Of course, these are all tendencies, and not rules. There are people who are still always on the go whatever the weather, and people who need to be outdoors even if there's a blizzard going on. But for me, the intimacy of the season is one of its greatest beauties, and what we do with our winters is completely up to us. When I hear people complain about winter because of the weather, I hear someone who hasn't yet learned the beauty of simply sitting down and reading for a while, or spending time with others indoors rather than outdoors.
In the winter, I get more writing done, and I work on crafts more. I don't get to go on long bike rides or long runs nearly as much as I do in the summer, but I do get to spend that time baking something really good or making something really good. I can spend time playing board games with others or making puzzles on my own--the season doesn't rob us of the opportunities to do fun and special things; rather, it gives us a chance to live in tune with the seasons and do the things that the season offers and allows.
Winter's not a penalty. It's not punishment. Winter simply is, and it is what it is. If we want to pass pleasant winters and get the most of what they offer, then it's up to us to recognize what the season has to offer, accept the fact that it doesn't offer what it doesn't offer, and take full advantage of the opportunities at hand rather that wishing there were other opportunities available. Winter is a beautiful seasons in more ways than just the weather, and I'm looking forward to taking advantage of the world that winter has to offer, without trying to make it into anything it isn't. Winter's a beautiful season, and I want to take advantage of that beauty.
Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments,
embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour. -John Boswell
http://livinglifefully.com/winter.htm
(Meteorologists and climatologists break the seasons down into groupings of three months based on the annual temperature cycle as well as our calendar. We generally think of winter as the coldest time of the year and summer as the warmest time of the year, with spring and fall being the transition seasons, and that is what the meteorological seasons are based on. Meteorological spring includes March, April, and May; meteorological summer includes June, July, and August; meteorological fall includes September, October, and November; and meteorological winter includes December, January, and February.
from https://www.ncei.noaa.gov/news/meteorological-versus-astronomical-seasons
