Some Nice Words

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

Unknown

What "Success" Means to Me

I've seen lots of definitions of success, and the ones that I feel most comfortable with are those that talk about success being a result of doing things for others, of doing things that one really feels called to do, of taking risks and doing the best one can do no matter what the outcome.  As a teacher, I feel a great sense of success when I see a student (or two, even!) "get it," and suddenly realize something very important.  I feel successful when I see a student's writing improve over the course of the year to a point at which the writing is quite good and the student's confidence in his or her writing is very high.

I'm not at all attracted to a type of success that would gain me fame and fortune.  While there are certain advantages to both fame and fortune, I don't feel called in that direction at all.  I feel a calling to work one-on-one with people to help them reach inside and find the talent, the ability, the skills that have been buried for so long.  And when I see that happen, I feel very successful.

The most successful people I've known in life have been those who have followed their callings, their gifts, and have done what their hearts guide them to do.  These people aren't in the news or on the covers of magazines, but they're held dearly in the hearts of people who love them and who appreciate all that they've done for them.  And on the day I day, whether that be tomorrow or forty years from now, I want to look back on my life and feel that I've used my God-given gifts to contribute to the lives of others in ways that have been truly unique to me.

My success doesn't depend upon recognition or reward.  It doesn't depend on financial gain or material wealth.  My success comes as the result of giving all that I can give to people who have need of what I can offer, and doing so without thinking of rewards or recompense.  Because if success is to be the result of giving, then shouldn't that giving be unconditional?

Most people see success as being rich and famous or
powerful and influential.  Others see it as being at
the top of their profession and standing out from the rest.
   The wise see success in a more personal way; they see
it as achieving the goals they have set for themselves,
and then feeling pride and satisfaction in their
accomplishments.  True success is felt in the heart,
not measured by money and power.
   So be true to yourself and achieve those goals you set.
For success is reaching those goals and feeling
proud of what you have accomplished.

Tim Tweedie

The Balanced Self

by Wilferd A. Peterson
              
The man walks out on the high wire over empty space, sways above the breathless crowd, defies the law of gravity. . . .

The successful living of a life can be compared to walking across a high wire.

The indispensable quality needed is balance.

The balanced self is the well-integrated self.  A harmonious combination of all the constructive elements of personality makes the self whole.

The balanced self practices moderation, avoids extremes, follows the maxim "Not anything too much."

The balanced self meets the challenges of life with equanimity.  It is neither exalted by success nor dejected by failure.  It meets despair with hope and climbs the heights with humility.

The balanced self maintains mental equilibrium. It has ideals without illusions.  It separates fact from fancy.  It keep a level head.

The balanced self is mature.  It considers everything from a grown-up viewpoint balanced by a child's simplicity.

The balanced self balances dreams with action.  It uses the power of inner thought to inspire outer achievement.  And it uses action to stimulate further dreams.

The balanced self guards against quick emotional reactions.  It does not jump to impulsive conclusions.  It delays action until it has had time, calmly and fairly, to balance all the factors involved.

The balanced self is resilient; it is flexible to change.  Like a tree in the wind, it bends without breaking.

The balanced self knows the error of constant effort.  It renews itself through prayer and relaxation, that it may apply a higher impact of energy and creative power to the task at hand.

The balanced self lives a balanced life.  It balances work and play, love and worship.

The balanced self maintains the I AM of the spirit at the center of self, in full command of its destiny.

Younger Every Day

I think it’s a mistake to define youth as simply having fewer years than others.  Youth has to do more with our state of mind, our way of seeing the world, and our way of receiving what the world has to offer us than anything else.  Most very young people aren’t even aware enough of what they have to take advantage of their youth, so I think it’s time that we start looking at youth as something that we are, something that we grow into as we move along in life.

Youth is yours, if you want it.  It’s in the way that you feel a sense of awe and wonder when you see a rainbow or hear the song of a bird.  It’s in the way you laugh when you hear something funny, or how your eyes tear up when you see or hear something sad.  Your youth is in the way you wake up, with enthusiasm and energy, ready to take on the world–which is easily something you can train yourself to do, even if you have stopped waking up that way.  Youth is in the way you trust others with your secrets and the way you’re proud of your flower collection or your scrapbook.  Your youth is simply a part of who you are, and while it’s possible to allow your youth to grow into a magnificent, wondrous part of yourself if you hang on to it and continue to nurture it, most of us leave it behind when we have a few more years under our belts, and we neglect it and refuse to nurture it.

Your youth, though, is a very special part of who you are.  Don’t leave it behind.  You don’t have to be a kid to be young, and some of the youngest people I’ve ever known have spent quite a few decades on this planet.  Love your youth, and feed it constantly with the beauty and wonder of the world and the people you know, and one day you’ll find that when Jesus was talking about being as a child, he wasn’t simply speaking in metaphors.  Live youthful, think youthful, and stay youthful.  It’s completely up to you.

Whether 60 or 16, there is in every human being’s heart the lure
of wonder, the unfailing childlike appetite of what’s next and the
joy of the game of living.  In the center of your heart and my
heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages
of beauty, hope, cheer, courage, and power from people
and from God, so long are you young.

Samuel Ullman

An Important Thought

I often think of an old man who lives near us.  He lives in near poverty and is a curmudgeonly sort.  His livelihood is making doghouses.  We live in a very poor part of the country where there is little money for people houses, much less doghouses.  Yet this man insists on selling his doghouses for more than people around here can pay.

At one point I needed a doghouse.  Unaware of his prices, I went over to see him.  I told him how much I had.  I was five dollars short.  "My price is my price," he said, and slammed the door.

Now, when I drive by his house I see his yard crammed with doghouses.  His house is falling down.  His life is mired in poverty.  But he will not change his price.  He has established a value in his own mind and no one shares that value.  His life cannot go forward until he frees himself from his conviction that he cannot take a loss.  He will die surrounded by his doghouses, and they will be sold for five dollars apiece at a yard sale.

Learn from the old man.  He is fixated on the doghouses, not on what they will enable him to do.  Nothing should be worth more to you than its value in helping you live your life.  If you are willing to slough off the past, even at a loss, you are keeping yourself free, and your world continues to grow.  If you insist on holding to some abstract valuation, you are being held hostage by that possession, and you are trapped in a prison of your own device.

Kent Nerburn from Simple Truths

What I Am Not

Sometimes I think that it could be a good thing to celebrate the things that we are not.  After all, what we are and what we do goes only part of the way towards defining us as people; so much of who we are has to do with the things that are absent in us.  For example, I'm not dishonest, I'm not angry, I'm not petty, and I'm not vindictive.  I'm not cynical, judgmental (usually--I'm still working on this one.  Let's say "overly judgmental."), ruthless, cruel, spiteful, jealous, envious, or lazy.

I don't hurt people, I don't gossip, I don't take advantage of other people's failings, I don't kick people when they're down--rather, I try to help them up.  I don't covet, lie, cheat, or steal.

I don't try to intimidate others, I don't try to use fear to motivate others, I don't try to manipulate other people to do my will.  I'm not focused on money or power, and I'm not greedy.  I don't feel desire to take what's not mine.

I think I could go on with this list for quite a while, but it's enough to remind myself of just some of the things that I'm not.  And to remind myself that I'm not these things because I've decided not to be them--and in these cases, I think I've made good choices.  So what kinds of things are you not?  What kinds of decisions have you made that have molded you into a kinder, gentler person in this world of ours?

The conventional Happy New Year approach is to think of the New Year as something that happens outside of our selves.  It is a good luck wish that the New Year, in some magical way, will bring us our heart’s desire.  We look to the New Year to make us happy.  When we expect happiness to come to us from the outside, we are usually disappointed.  Happiness is not guaranteed by sunny weather, a raise in pay, a new car, a beautiful home or anything else of a material nature.  External things are often possessed by very unhappy people.  Happiness does not come out of a New Year, it comes out of men and women.  Life does not change when we hang a new calendar on the wall or when the clock strikes midnight and a New Year begins.  The only way life will change for us is when we change ourselves.

Wilferd A. Peterson