Vacation

My wife and I are just wrapping up our first real vacation in quite a few years. We've taken almost two weeks to travel, something that we haven't done in many years. We've had many "micro-vacations" over the years, but we haven't had a full-fledged vacation in a very long time. It's been really good for us in many ways, and we're both glad that we've done it, even though it cost us much more than we could comfortably afford. We've had to scrimp and save, but it's been worth it.

It seems that many people are foregoing vacations these days, either because they can't afford them or because they're "too busy." Some people even think that if they take a vacation, their world will come to a halt and the workplace will fall apart without their presence. But vacations are one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves, and especially if we live in cultures in which vacations are even possible, it's important that we take advantage of our opportunities to take them when they come.

The most important benefit of a vacation for me is the reminder that life goes on all over the place. When I'm stuck in my world, it's easy to forget that there are people everywhere going about their lives every day, speaking various languages and living in many different countries and following different social rules. In my own little world, life can get a bit routine, and I forget that the world is much, much bigger than my world allows for. I like being reminded that the world is full of individuals who love and live and breathe and hope and dream and suffer and feel. Such a reminder helps me to remember that I'm a part of something much, much bigger than I, and when I keep that in mind, I can more easily feel the humility and compassion that make my life richer.

The break from the routine, of course, is also important. It allows me to come back to my own world and tackle problems with a fresh perspective and a renewed sense of purpose. It helps me to see my situation in a much more positive light, and when that happens, I'm able to contribute more and better to my world.

Of course, vacations cost, in time, money, and effort. Not everyone is able to take full-fledged vacations every year or even every other year. For us, this vacation was many years in coming. Yet we do find time for the occasional three-day weekend somewhere else to help us to recharge ourselves. This vacation that we've just taken has reminded me of the importance of getting away, one way or another, just to recharge your motivation and enthusiasm and to make sure that our day-to-day lives don't wear us down completely and make us start feeling negative about our lives. Even if we find just little ways to get away for short periods of time, our vacations are extremely important to us, and they're a gift that not everyone on the planet shares the possibility of having. Which adds gratitude to the list of benefits of the vacations we are able to take.

Enjoy Today!

This is just a note to say hello and to wish you the best of all this day has to offer you! We have the gift of a new Thursday in our lives--so what are we going to do with it?

Personally, I have quite a lot of work to do today, so I'm going to get to it pretty early so that I can finish early and enjoy the afternoon by being more relaxed because a lot of the work is behind me. The work is a bit tedious but not really difficult, so it should go fairly quickly. If I do my work early, then I can do things like go running or go out for a cup of coffee, and not have the need to work hanging over my head.

I've decided that when I see people today, I'm going to say hello and smile. I'm going to listen to them when they talk, and not try to think of what I want to say. I'm going to find some way to encourage and/or compliment them--each meeting that I have with another human being is an opportunity to add something positive to the world in the form of positive feelings and attitudes, for I can contribute to others feeling good about life and about themselves.

I've decided that I'm going to take the time to see the beautiful flowers that are all around, as well as the beautiful houses that people have built, and the beautiful smiles that people have. I'll say hello to children because they're people, too, and do not deserve to be ignored by anyone.

If something goes "wrong," I'll look for the positive side of the situation, and I'll try to see the problem in a positive light.

My day is in my hands--I'm not a "victim" of chance. I can do a lot today to make my day brighter and more enjoyable, and I'll certainly do all that I possibly can!

One Thing I Can Do Today

I think that today, I'll consciously practice being mindful. That is, I'll do my best to be fully aware of my surroundings, and I'll try to look more closely at everything I can, whether it interests me or not. A mindful existence is not a judgmental existence, so it's important that I keep my mind and heart open to new things, new experiences, and new details.

What will the benefit to me be if I'm more mindful today? For starters, I'll learn more about the world, even if my mindfulness is focused on something seemingly trivial. So much of what we see represents on a micro scale the world on a macro scale. For example, I just looked at a leaf on the Ficus tree next to me and I noticed how each leaf is held be a slender stem to the branch from which it grew. The leaf itself has grown and developed independently of the branch, but the branch has provided much of the nutrients that it needs to do so. It reminds me of a child's relationship with the family, or an individual's relationship with God, or a student's relationship with the teacher. A slender, tender stem keeps us connected with so many things as we grow and develop on our own.

And the leaves were all very pretty, and each completely unique. It's a beautiful tree that I don't look at or appreciate nearly enough.

If I'm mindful, I might hear the catch in the voice when someone says "I'm fine." I may see the attempt to avoid eye contact that tells me something's wrong. I may realize why what I've been trying to do hasn't been working. I may have that epiphany that I've been hoping to have. If I'm not mindful, I can guarantee you that I'll have none of that.

So today, I'm going to consciously practice being mindful.

Our Focus

Where is our focus today? Is it on the bright and beautiful things in the world, or on the problems and difficulties that we're experiencing? It's very easy to focus on the latter, isn't it? If someone says something rude to us, it's easy to keep it in our minds for hours, even, while if we pass a scene of beauty, we're lucky to hold on to the image for half an hour. Sometimes I think that we choose to hold on to the negative things to make ourselves feel somehow victimized, as if that will help us to explain why life isn't going perfectly for us or it will give us an excuse for not being in high spirits. As if we need an excuse!

Sometimes it's important to focus on the problems, especially if we want to do something about them. If we want to solve a problem or figure out how it came to be, we need to focus on it and work on it. But most of us don't focus on our problems with the intent of doing something about them--we complain about them, stress over them, get angry about them, or think about them in just about any way other than a positive, pro-active way. When we do that, we're inviting our problems into our homes as uninhibited guests who really do have no respect at all for the place they're visiting--and they turn it into a nightmarish place of stress and frustration.

We need to learn how to relegate those problems to their proper place in our minds, and one of the ways we can do that is to keep in mind the positive things in life, too. We can think about the beautiful butterfly we saw land on the flower this morning instead of the rude person on their cell phone in the cafe. We can think about the nice thing someone said to us yesterday instead of the nasty comment that criticized us. There are many things in life that are a matter of choice, and what we allow to stay in the forefront of our minds is one of those things. Let some things pass through your mind and right back out again. Keep other things to help yourself to feel better about your life, your day, your self and your place in the world.

A Simple Gesture

The desert dweller has lived in the desert so long that all of its moods have long since become a part of the daily rhythm of his life.  But it is not that fact that is of crucial importance.  For many years, it has been his custom to leave a lighted lantern by the roadside at night to cheer the weary traveler.  Beside the lantern there is a note which gives detailed directions as to where his cottage may be found so that if there is distress or need, the stranger may find help.

It is a very simple gesture full of beauty and wholeness.  To him, it is not important how many people pass in the night and go on their way.  The important thing is that the lantern burns every night and every night the note is there, "just in case."

Years ago, walking along a road outside Rangoon, I noted at intervals along the way a roadside stone with a crock of water and, occasionally, some fruit.  Water and fruit were put there by Buddhist priests to comfort and bless any passerby--one's spiritual salutation to another.  The fact that I was a traveler from another part of the world, speaking a strange language and practicing a different faith, made no difference.  What mattered was the fact that I was walking along the road--what my mission was, who I was--all irrelevant.   -Howard Thurman

Listening to Rain

Thank God for that rain out the window and for Mr. Clemente, who allowed us in ninth grade to listen to it for no reason, in the middle of the day.  That one moment carried me a long way into my life.

I didn't know it then.  At the time, I think, it made me a little nervous--it was too naked, too uncontrolled, too honest.  I thought it odd.  In those days I was watching my step, making sure I knew the rules, keeping things in control.  I wore the same long, pleated skirt every day, blue cardigan sweater, oxford shoes, and carried a brown leather school bag, even while the other girls were wearing makeup, nylons, heels.  I never felt that I fit in. . . . For fear that people would think I was weird--I saw no one around me I could identify with--I tried not to be noticed.  I became a nerd.  And here was Mr. Clemente who asked me to listen to the rain, to connect a sense organ with something natural, neutral, good.  He asked me to become alive.  I was scared, and I loved it.

~Natalie Goldberg

Quiet Time

One of the most important elements of my life is the time that I spend with nothing in particular to do, time that I spend being able to relax and recharge and make myself ready for whatever's coming next. I learned what it's like to live without this luxury when I spent four years in the Army, and those four years taught me to value my quiet time even more. That doesn't mean that I don't push myself--after all, I did two graduate programs at the same school at the same time; I did my doctorate while teaching full-time and coaching; I coached three sports each school year for two years. I am very often very busy--but that doesn't mean that I don't value and take advantage of quiet time.

When I take on a very busy schedule, one of the things that I make sure of is that there will be quiet time eventually in the future. Perhaps it will be a long weekend when I won't have anything planned, or maybe I'll know that spring break is there in the middle of the busy times. As a teacher, I do have an advantage with the breaks that happen in our schedules, but I also know many teachers who fill those breaks up with as many activities as they can. That's something that I simply won't do because I know that my mind and my body need a break--they need time without activity to be able to function better--or in my case, even function at all, it seems, after they've been used intensely for a long while.

Quiet time doesn't have to be time sitting around doing nothing but reading and drinking coffee (though times spent that way are quite wonderful!). Quiet time can be taking a nice long hike or going for a long run; it can be wandering around a mall and looking at things that are new and different; it could be meeting up with a friend for a cup of coffee and a nice long conversation. It has to do with purposely planning not to get stressed, not to fill my time with things that will keep me on edge. I don't try to accomplish anything that has to be of high quality during quiet time--that reach for quality implies judgment, and working to pass judgment, either my own or someone else's, becomes stressful.

One of the reasons that I love winter is because it gives us cozy, intimate moments that make for wonderful quiet time. In the summer I'm on the go much, much more, and when I do stop for a while, the good weather seems to be calling me, putting me on edge, telling me "Do something with me!" In the winter I don't feel that call, and it's much easier to curl up with a book in the lamplight and know that the snow is falling outside, but not having to do anything about it.

I'm thinking about this now because I just read a book about someone who never stopped, who never had down time. I couldn't have lived his life. In my world, taking the time to recharge and re-energize is extremely important, and I know that the quality of my life would suffer dramatically if I didn't build it in, or at least have it to look forward to sometime in the future.