Do you control your possessions, or do they control you?

If we did but know how little some enjoy of the great things
that they possess, there would not be much envy in the world.
-Edward Young


I knew a man once who earned a great deal of money and who had all the trappings of a "good life"--at least, all the trappings that money could buy.  The house, the collectible car, the clothing, the expensive vacations, etc., etc., etc.  Unfortunately, this man was very unhappy.  He didn't enjoy anything that he had.  Rather, he stressed about it all.  The car stayed locked inside of a climate-controlled garage so that there would be no risk of scratches.  The house remained a showcase--there were entire rooms blocked off so that there wouldn't be any footprints in the carpet.  Eventually, he ended up having several surgeries for stress-related illnesses, and none of what he possessed could help him to recover.

I have quite a few possessions, but I try to make sure that they're things I can enjoy--books to read, movies to watch, music to listen to, bookcases to keep the books on.  But when I look about myself right now, I see a wonderful table that I bought at a thrift store for $20, a bookcase that I built myself very inexpensively, an inexpensive couch and chair that we absolutely love.  I don't think that everything should be bought as cheaply as possible, but I know from experience that more expensive does not equal better.  We enjoy our possessions--we make full use of them and when we're done with them, we give them away to someone else who can use them.

I don't envy people with lots of possessions for two reasons:  first, having lots of possessions means a lot of work in maintaining them, and I have better things to do than to maintain possessions; and second, many of the people who focus on getting things constantly need more things, and they never really enjoy the things they already have.

Look around at your possessions.  Enjoy them.  If they don't fit you any more, get rid of them.  You'll be doing yourself a great favor when you establish a healthy relationship with the things you possess, instead of letting them control you, your thoughts, and your actions.

What do I care about?

It is fair to say that the world around you is a mirror.  Therefore

you have a lot more control over the future than you might think,
because you can shape your world just by being true
to what you really care about.
-Bradley Trevor Greive


It's sometimes difficult for me to believe that life is a mirror, and that it reflects what I put into it.  After all, so many things happen that are completely out of my control that it's not really fair to say that our current political situation is my fault.  Maybe it is, and if that's the case, I'm sorry--but I'm pretty sure that politics in our country today have very little to do with me.

Then what does Bradley mean here?  I think he means that we have to redefine our worlds to include those things over which we have some true sort of influence.  The way I treat that man in the supermarket, the ways in which I interact with friends and coworkers, the love that I show--or fail to show--to my family.  These are all part of my world, and they really do depend on my actions and attitudes.  And what comes tomorrow in my world is going to be more a result of what I do today than it's going to be a result of chance, or of other people's input.

Just because I smile at someone doesn't mean that person has to smile back.  That would be an unrealistic expectation on my part, and I don't want to be disappointed anymore by unfulfilled expectations.  Just because I'm polite to you doesn't mean you'll be polite to me--I have no idea what kinds of tribulations you may be going through today.  That's not what Bradley is talking about.  What he means is that if you're not polite to me today, I see that as an opportunity to be compassionate, or I see it as something terrible that's going to make me feel bad.  If I lose something important, I can see it as a disaster, or as something that's going to make me think more about how important it's been to me.  And my tomorrow is going to depend on my balance and clarity today--I have much more of a chance to be working where I want to be tomorrow if I take great care in being a good person who instills confidence in my abilities during today's job interview.  I have a better chance of being surrounded by friends if I treat people well today, if I show them that I care for them.

You do shape your world, and your tomorrow does depend on what you do today.  Be aware of this fact, and make your tomorrow bright by doing good today.  Don't get your expectations up too high for specific outcomes, though--sometimes life knows better than you do what's best for you!

http://livinglifefully.com/life4.htm 

We've got to have fun

Fun is fundamental.  There is no way around it.  You absolutely must
have fun.  Without fun, there is no enthusiasm.  Without enthusiasm,
there is no energy.  Without energy, there are only shades of gray.
-Doug Hall


I know many people who consider having fun to be of secondary importance.  They're focused on work and tasks and paying bills, and to them, having fun is something for kids--or worse, something childish.  "Life's serious," they'll tell you.  "You have to take it seriously."  Of course, there isn't a smile on their faces when they tell you this.

I've had enough of taking things too seriously, though.  I've seen the results of this:  ulcers and high blood pressure and addictions and depression.  We do need to take much of life seriously--I would never consider not earning as decent a wage as I can, or not doing my job as well as I possibly can--but that seriousness needs to be balanced with fun and enjoyment and relaxation.  Our bodies and our hearts and our spirits all benefit from us enjoying ourselves, and it's not a good idea not to do so.

When I go to group things like picnics, I'm amazed at how quickly adults sit down to talk to each other about the same things they always talk to each other about.  Personally, I prefer to be with the kids who are playing at these events, because I don't want to hear the same old complaints about work and family and society in general.  I want to run and play tag and just be, along with a bunch of people who are also just being their authentic selves.  Who cares if they haven't been on this planet as long as I have?  They know how to have fun much better than the adults do.  I spend plenty of time being an adult--when I have a chance to have fun, I take it.

We've got to find time for fun--or make time for fun if it's not there now.  And fun doesn't have to be running around and playing.  I have a lot of fun reading, or watching an enjoyable show (even cartoons!), or baking, or going for nice walks.  Fun is relative, of course, but it's also necessary, and I hope that you're able to put more fun in your life--for your sake!

Let them be as they are

We need to promote greater tolerance and understanding
among the peoples of the world.  Nothing can be more
dangerous to our efforts to build peace and development
than a world divided along religious, ethnic or cultural lines.
In each nation, and among all nations, we must work
to promote unity based on our shared humanity.   -Kofi Annan


What a shame it is that we've become a nation filled with intolerant people.  We hate each other, we get angry at each other, we shame and mock each other, simply because we disagree about certain things, or we believe in certain things, or our skin happens to be of a different color than someone else's.  Sometimes it makes me sad, and sometimes it makes me sick to witness the terrible ways that we treat each other so often.

We must accept each other and help each other.  We have to cooperate with each other if we're going to improve our lives and our world.  We need to teach our young people to work with each other rather than fight against each other.  When we're intolerant, we're putting ourselves and our views and our beliefs on a pedestal and telling anyone who disagrees with us that they're wrong, even though the truth is that there's a good chance that we're the ones who are wrong.

What kind of world are we building to pass on to our young people if it's a world based on intolerance?  What are we teaching them when we model intolerant views and ideas?  How can we say that we love our fellow people when in practice we don't allow them to have their views and beliefs without judging them harshly for those views and beliefs?

Let's make this world a better place, and accept others for who they are without trying to change them, for what they believe without telling them they're wrong, for what they stand for without telling them that they should stand for something else.  Let's create a world of love and understanding rather than resentment and intolerance, for the sake of everyone.

Now

Begin doing what you want to do now.  We are not living
in eternity.  We have only this moment, sparkling like a
star in our hand. . . and melting like a snowflake.
Let us use it before it is too late.   -Marie Beynon Ray


I've been reading about living in the present moment for decades, and I'm still not sure that I know how to do so.  I think I do, but of course, there's no real test available to find out if I am or not.  After all, I may be enjoying the sunshine on a beautiful fall day, but if I'm worrying about something that may happen tomorrow, am I not fully grounded in the present?  Am I trapped in a future?

And if I'm on a run in the forest, but thinking about a problem that I had yesterday, am I being held prisoner by the past, or am I using the present moment to process thoughts and reactions that I had yesterday?  Sometimes, for me, thinking deeply about things helps me to work my way through issues, and perhaps I may not be seeing the trees that surround me, but I am dealing with stress and unease that threatens to overwhelm me.  Sometimes, this moment is meant to serve as a way to process the past.  Sometimes, this moment is meant as a way to prepare ourselves for the future.  Both are fine uses of the present moment, as long as we don't fall into the trap of allowing ALL of our present moments to be focused on the past or the future.

Because right now, I have the chance to compliment someone, to smile at someone, to experience the sunshine or the rain, to be fully aware of all that surrounds me.  It's an important part of life to be able and willing to be present in this moment, to appreciate the opportunities we have right here and right now--and even to take advantage of some of those opportunities from time to time.  It's actually being with the people who are near us, not on the phone with someone who's elsewhere, dealing with problems and issues that are elsewhere.

This moment is precious.  Who's around you right now?  What don't you know about that person or those people that you'd like to know?  Is there something beautiful to look at, even if you've seen it many times already?  What are your current opportunities to learn something new about something?  Let's not let this moment melt into nothingness without getting something from it--and giving something to it.

Our creativity

Creativity is simply the energy of
making something where there was
nothing before.  We do this every day,
in so many unmarked ways.
-Fran Sorin


"He's so creative," I often hear.  Unfortunately, I often hear those words followed by something like, "I could never do anything like that!"  And it's often young people who are making this claim, who are saying that they've already given up on creativity, that they feel that they aren't at all creative themselves, that creativity is somehow reserved for "special" people who have some sort of gift.

They're wrong, though.  They are creative.  They may not be painting landscapes that are hung in galleries, and they may not be making music that's played all over the world, but they have creative gifts that they can share with the world on many different levels, if they would only look and see what they're doing and how they're doing it.

I'm creative when I bake or cook dinner, when I play Scrabble with a friend, when I compliment someone, when I come up with a way to fix something, when I help a kid with a project, when I plan a menu for a dinner with friends.  I can even be creative in the ways that I show kindness and compassion to others, in the way that I write a letter or an email to a friend.  Simply smiling at someone and wishing them well can create a good feeling in that other person, a feeling that wasn't there before, and that's definitely a creative contribution to the world in a positive way.

Not all creativity is meant to be shared with others on a wide scale.  Much of our creativity is what we use to contribute to our world in small but important ways, and we're all creative.  Not all of the time, of course, but much more often than we give ourselves credit for.

Strength in humility

Humble people can do great things with uncommon perfection
because they are no longer concerned about their own interests
and their own reputation, and therefore they no longer need
to waste their efforts in defending them.    -Thomas Merton


Humility is a hard lesson to learn in life.  Most difficult, I believe, is learning about the power in humility to shape our lives, for most of us don't witness the humble person as being powerful, and we don't witness the same results for them that we witness in those people who have rejected humility.  The arrogant blowhard's outcomes are very easy to see; the humble person's achievements are cloaked in the humility that gives them the wonderful strength that they have, so they aren't all that visible, except to the most attentive.

The humble person, of course, doesn't ask for recognition.  If recognition comes, then this person doesn't bask in it, doesn't ask for more of it.  This person recognizes that life works through her or him, and that whatever she or he has accomplished has been a blessing.

That doesn't mean that we can't feel pride in our accomplishments--of course we can.  But when we're so prideful that we demand that others recognize our achievements as something special, then we definitely cannot count ourselves among the ranks of the humble.

I hope to be able to be humble, partly because it's a peaceful way of life, and partly because it's a much more powerful way to live life than being proud offers us.  The power in the humble person is true and steady, and not reliant on outside forces such as recognition.  The power of the humble person is a power that is used to help others, and it's a very effective power, indeed.