One or Two a Day

I used to have about 170 students divided between five classes at school.  If you think that meant that I wasn't able to give the individual attention to each student that I could or should have been giving, well, you’re right.  With that many students I was able to take care of all the basic work such as preparing classes and grading all of their work–if I was lucky.  So I had to make an extra effort to give the extra encouragement that I know most people need.

I made it a point to give extra encouragement to one or two students a day, since I knew I couldn’t make one-on-one contact with them all.  I tried to rotate it, too, so that in the course of a month or so I hit almost everyone.  And then I started again.  The encouragement didn’t always have the results that I wished it would, but I didn’t let my unfulfilled expectations keep me from trying again the next day, and the next.  After all, the encouragement was free for me to give, and the potential benefits from it were amazing.

There are other things that we can do on that sort of level, too.  For example, we can read one or two chapters of a good self-help book each day to bring ourselves up and make ourselves feel better.  We can read one or two pages or chapters of books focused on our professions to help us to function better and make our jobs easier.  We can throw one or two dollars into a big bottle to someday have a very special night out or even a very cool vacation.  We can walk one or two miles a day to improve our health, or we can even run the same distance.

Most things in life don’t take a huge investment in order for us to reach success.  Most things take simply dedication and consistency.  I may not be the best teacher my students ever have had, or the most memorable, but I know for a fact that many students appreciate the encouragement that I give them.  And if I focus on giving it to one or two–or four or five, even–each day, then I will be making a difference in the lives of some students, no matter how slight a difference that may be.  It most certainly is worth the effort to me, and to the other people in my life upon whom I have an effect.

Our workaday lives are filled with opportunities
to bless others.  The power of a single glance or an
encouraging smile must never be underestimated.

G. Richard Rieger

Cambiar de Aire

The Spanish have a wonderful way of saying that they're going somewhere else for a time--they say that they're going to "cambiar de aire," or change the air that they breathe.  They could be going from the hot city air of Madrid to the cool ocean air of Galicia, or from the air on the plains in Salamanca to the air in the mountains of Granada.  No matter what they're doing, though, this saying to me has a very deep and insightful meaning--one of the most fundamental elements of their lives is changing when they change location.

I like to keep this saying in mind whenever I go somewhere different.  When I do, a trip isn't just a "trip"--it's an experience that I can relish and revel in as most of the basic inputs of my life are changed on a significant level.  I am changing air, and breathing air that's being affected by a whole range of different atmospheric influences.  But I'm also hearing different people speak, people who have been affected by a completely different range of environmental influences than the people I normally spend time with.  I'm eating different food, prepared as a result of differences in culture, taste, and the readily available ingredients.  Sometimes I'm even surrounded by different languages and schedules and ways of living, and if I keep my eyes and heart open to the differences that I experience, I most certainly can learn a lot from people who have experienced life in many different ways than I have.

Of course, there's a lot to be said about recognizing similarities and enjoying the fact that people are people, no matter where they live.  But when I have the chance to change air, I want to enjoy the new air and take from it what I can.  If I do so, then my entire life experience becomes richer from an entirely new set of inputs.  Changing air is a positive experience, but only if we make it so.

I wish you the ability and the openness to learn always, all through life.  We are fortunate to be a part of a world that is full of lessons, minute after minute, day after day, and if we can learn from these lessons, we can become people of love and hope and peace.  As long as we always remember that there is much to learn and that we cannot predict who will be our most important teachers, we will continue to learn.

May you always find the important lessons that are in each occurrence in our lives, the lessons that help us to grow into the people we were meant to be.  Nothing happens to us or with us that doesn't have some sort of lesson to take from it, even if that lesson is sometimes just reassurance that we're moving in the right direction.  Many people choose to ignore the lessons, feeling that they already know what they need to know, or they don't even see them to begin with, for their eyes and minds and hearts are closed to growth and change.

I wish you the willingness to change, for many of life's lessons call on us to change a way of doing or thinking that we've been holding on to for a very long time, and that may be more destructive to us than helpful.  Learning is not very useful if we don't allow the lessons to have an effect on us, and we can allow that to happen only if we're open to the possibility that a change is necessary.  How often have we seen people who have held on to their way of doing things even when it's very clear to us that they're hurting themselves and others by doing so?  Just having the willingness to consider change is one of the greatest blessings that I can wish you.



Never Want to (Fully) Grow Up

My wife likes to laugh at me.  Not really laugh at me in a mean sort of way, but just laugh at me.  I do some things that are somewhat laughable, after all, so I don't mind it a bit that she laughs.  I still love Winnie-the-Pooh, for example, and seeing a new Pooh or Tigger blanket or towel at the store is exciting for me.  I like to skip, too, every once in a while--it's a form of movement that just feels really cool when you do it.  I ride on the back of the shopping cart, and I watch cartoons.  She understands me, though--I don't do these things because I'm trying to hold on to my youth or to fool myself into thinking that I'm still young.  I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone, and I'm not doing anything for show.  I do these things because I like them.  They're a lot of fun, and I learned from my "fellow adults" just how boring and tedious life can get when we stop having fun.

If I'm at any sort of social function at which families are involved, you can always find me with the kids, playing tag or hide-and-go-seek or whatever else they may be up to.  Again, it's not an attempt to prove or recapture anything; rather, it's just a way to have fun.  Adults have an annoying tendency to just stand around talking about the same old stuff, not using the gift of their bodies for anything other than standing up straight (or sitting on a chair) and holding a cup of something and talking.  Kids, on the other hand, use their bodies to have fun, and in doing so they don't diminish the amount of energy available to them, but they actually make that energy grow so that they can have more fun later doing something else.

You see, kids haven't forgotten yet what it truly means to have fun.  They haven't forgotten the thrill of movement and of play, and they haven't forgotten what it means to accept anyone as a playmate who's willing to play.  As they grow and learn from their adult role models, they learn to discriminate between potential play partners, and they learn the "joy" of accomplishment versus the "waste" of time spent playing.

I often think that we have it all wrong.  Somehow, we believe that it's our job as adults to teach kids how to grow into being just like we are.  That belief is faulty, though.  Actually, our higher calling is to learn from the kids--to learn all the things that we've forgotten about seeing and feeling and loving all the joy and wonder and fun that's here in this world for us.  I like it when my wife laughs at me.  Then I know that I'm learning my lessons at least fairly well.

When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing.             

Tom Robbins

Nineteen Somethings to Say to Children

1.  I love you!  There is nothing that will make me stop loving you.  Nothing you could do or say or think will ever change that.

2.  You are amazing!  I look at you with wonder!  Not just at what you can do, but who you are.  There is no one like you.  No one!

3.  It's all right to cry.  People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely.  Big people cry too.  I do.

4.  You've made a mistake.  That was wrong.  People make mistakes.  I do.  Is it something we can fix?  What can we do?  It's all over.  You can start fresh.  I know you are sorry.  I forgive you.

5.  You did the right thing.  That was scary or hard.  Even though it wasn't easy, you did it.  I am proud of you; you should be too.

6.  I'm sorry.  Forgive me.  I made a mistake.

7.  You can change your mind.  It's good to decide, but it is also fine to change.

8.  What a great idea!  You were really thinking!  How did you come up with that?  Tell me more.  Your mind is clever!

9.  That was kind.  You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person.  That must make you feel good inside.  Thank you!

10.  I have a surprise for you.  It's not your birthday.  It's for no reason at all.  Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.

11.  I can wait.  We have time.  You don't have to hurry this time.

12.  What would you like to do?  It's your turn to pick.  You have great ideas.  It's important to follow your special interests.

13.  Tell me about it.  I'd like to hear more.  And then what happened?  I'll listen.

14.  I'm right here.  I won't leave without saying good-bye.  I am watching you.  I am listening to you.

15.  Please and Thank You.  These are important words.  If I forget to use them, will you remind me?

16.  I missed you.  I think about you when we are not together!

17.  Just try.  A little bit.  One taste, one step.  You might like it.  Let's see.  I'll help you if you need it.  I think you can do it.

18.  I'll help you.  I heard you call me, here I am.  How can I help you?  If we both work together, we can get this done.  I know you can do it by yourself, but I'm glad to help since you asked.

19.  What do you wish for?  Even if it's not yet time for birthday candles and we don't have a wishbone, it's still fun to hear about what you wish for, hope for, and dream about.

Source unknown

I just watched an episode of a television series in which two characters were trapped in the Antarctic.  A rescue mission was being sent from a base some fifty miles away, and soon we see the rescuers arriving to save them.  Amazingly enough, with the rescuers arrive the characters who had contacted them, who somehow had made it from Colorado to the Antarctic in the same amount of time as the people who had come from fifty miles away.

There is most definitely a dearth of creativity in the world of entertainment these days, and since most of us are exposed to that world very often, we're constantly being exposed to pretty lame excuses for creativity.  Movies that otherwise are pretty good end with stupid shooting scenes in which the heroes aren't hit by a single bullet even though thirty men are shooting at them--but they kill all thirty of the other guys.  Someone who's a college professor gets involved in a chase with criminals or the police, and somehow navigates the crowded streets of a major city better than a race car driver could.  People who are otherwise intelligent walk stupidly into situations--or dark rooms--even though they know someone else just got killed there.

I guess this isn't really such a big deal, but I think it does affect us in negative ways.  It's kind of like being desensitized to violence--since we see so much of this poorly made stuff that's supposed to be creative and artistic, we start to believe that this stuff really is creative.  But it's not--it's simply poorly trained people trying to give audiences what they think they want, which really ends up being stuff that's already been seen in other movies or on other TV shows, or that's already been read in other books or stories.

Creativity, though, comes from our hearts, and is not determined by what people want to see.  Our creativity is a reflection of our spirits, if we truly allow our spirits to shine through in all that we do.  Don't give your own creativity short shrift--nurture it and develop it, accept it and love it.  That way, you'll allow yourself to be creative, rather than just creating copies of things that other people already have done.  And if you ever make a decent movie, find a creative way to end it rather than depending on formulas to end the movie for you.  You'll be proud when you do, and many people will appreciate seeing something new and different--for a change.

Creativity requires the courage
to let go of certainties.

Erich Fromm

You Are a Marvel

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe,
a moment that will never be again . . . And what do we teach
our children?  We teach them that two and two make four,
and that Paris is the capital of France.

 

When will we also teach them what they are?

 

We should say to each of them:  Do you know what you are?
You are a marvel.  You are unique.  In all the years that have
passed, there has never been another child like you.
Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move.

You may become a Shakespeare, a Michaelangelo,
a Beethoven.  You have the capacity for anything.

Yes, you are a marvel.  And when you grow up,
can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel?

You must work--we must all work--to make
the world worthy of its children.

Pau Casals