Observing Me

In my recent readings I've become aware of another "me," a part of myself that is constantly observing myself, that is somehow distinct from the person who interacts with the other people in my life.  There's a deeper side to me, an inner self that is both aware of being part of what I call my life and aware of something more, something much more vast and expansive than this somewhat simple world in which we live.

I've always been aware of this other side of myself, but no always on a conscious level, it seems.  I've always known that part of me that says "Don't do that!" when I'm about to make a mistake, the part that notices the sunset first and feels the peace it brings before I even stop to look closely at it.  Deepak Chopra puts it this way:  "As you read this page, turn your attention to the one who is doing the reading. . . . you will immediately sense an awareness that is alert, awake, uninvolved, silent, yet intensely alive. . . . you have interrupted the act of observation to catch a glimpse of the observer."

Other writers also describe this self as an "observer," or the part of ourselves that witnesses our actions.  Our actions usually are the result of training or conditioning that we've received from other people, and they thus reflect the influence of others.  Or they are reactions to other people, which also reflect the actions or words of other people.  But there's a part of us that tries to keep us from saying something we'll regret later--the part that wants to keep peace and that sees the wiser course of action.  If someone calls you a horrible name and you're just about to say something back that probably isn't appropriate, isn't there a part of you that knows that it's not the right thing to do?  In my experience, though, I often ignore that part of me because saying something back "feels" good--probably to my ego, which definitely isn't an ally of my higher self.  That other part has been subjugated, put down, not listened to.

One of my goals in life now that I'm growing more aware of this part of me on a conscious level is to get to know it better and to trust it more.  I hope to let it guide me more than I let my ego guide me, because so far me ego hasn't done me much good at all.  And if I succeed in doing so, then I know that I'm going to see much in life that I would have missed had I continued to push this part of myself down because it was something that I didn't really know, and which thus scared me more than just a bit.

When We Share

The impossible becomes possible.

When we share laughter, there's twice the fun;
When we share success, we've surpassed what we've done.

When we share problems, there's half the pain;
When we share tears, a rainbow follows rain.

When we share dreams, they become more real;
When we share secrets, it's our hearts we reveal.

If we share a smile, that's when our love shows;
If we share a hug, that's when our love grows.

If we share with someone on whom we depend,
That person is always family or friend.

And what draws us closer and makes us all care,
Is not what we have, but the things that we share.

Author Unknown

The Way Things Are

How many people ever truly realize that there's absolutely no way to change the way things are?  No matter how hard we may try, the way things are is the way things are, and we can do nothing about that.  The only way that we'll ever find peace in our lives and in our hearts is to recognize and accept that things are the way they are, and there's nothing we can do about that.

Now, that's not to say that we can't have a strong effect on the way things are going to be.  And if we don't like the way things are, then we can do our best to make sure that things won't be the same way two minutes from now, or two days, or two years.  We always can have an effect on the way that things are going to be in the future, and if we think that changes are in everyone's best interest, then let's do our best to make changes.  Just because things are the way they are doesn't mean that we have to allow them to continue to be that way.

But we're only putting ourselves in a position to feel a lot of frustration and annoyance if we worry too much about the way things are.  We're only setting ourselves up for disappointment if we wish that things were different.  We may want to see change, but change comes with time, not with wishing.  If we want to be the instrument of change then we certainly can be so, but the change isn't going to be immediate.

It probably isn't a good idea if we don't like the way things are to do nothing about it.  But we have to keep in mind that causing things to be a certain way two hours from now doesn't do anything to change the way things are at this moment.  With every change we see or cause, we see a new way that things are.  And it's worth avoiding the mental anguish of wishing they were some other way because there simply is no way to change the way things are.  So let's live with it, and enjoy it.



Edmund Pollard

Edgar Lee Masters

I would I had thrust my hands of flesh
Into the disk-flowers bee-infested,
Into the mirror-like core of fire
Of the light of life, the sun of delight.
For what are anthers worth or petals
Or halo-rays? Mockeries, shadows
Of the heart of the flower, the central flame!
All is yours, young passer-by;
Enter the banquet room with the thought;
Don't sidle in as if you were doubtful
Whether you're welcome--the feast is yours!
Nor take but a little, refusing more
With a bashful "Thank you," when you're hungry.
Is your soul alive? Then let it feed!
Leave no balconies where you can climb;
Nor milk-white bosoms where you can rest;
Nor golden heads with pillows to share;
Nor wine cups while the wine is sweet;
Nor ecstasies of body or soul,
You will die, no doubt, but die while living
In depths of azure, rapt and mated,
Kissing the queen-bee, Life!

from Spoon River Anthology

Hard Times, New Habits

I read a story in the paper recently about a man who has moved into a smaller apartment nearer to his job because of the current recession.  He now walks to work most of the time, and he doesn't have nearly as many possessions as he used to.  He seems pretty happy, too, which isn't a surprise because this recession is causing him to do many things that many people say lead to happiness--even if he isn't following a pre-planned program.

One of the most common paths to happiness is letting go of possessions.  When we let our possession rule our lives, then we can't reach a point at which we're free from them.  And possessions can take us over and rule us when we place too much importance on them and their maintenance.  When my wife and I spent a year living in an RV (thrice so far!), we had one of the best years of our lives--we had almost no possessions at all, and it was great.

He's also walking or biking to work, which gives him the chance to improve his health on a regular basis.  He's not tied to his car, and he's not spending much of his money on fuel for that car, giving him much more financial independence.  He probably also is noticing more about the world around him, and the nature that surrounds him as he sees the differences in air temperature, types of weather, types of wind, and all the things that affect him much more now that he's out in the fresh air much more often.

He's also learning to be satisfied with less--less space, fewer possessions that will fit in that space, and so on.  After all, it's not what we have or where we are that determines our happiness, but whether or not we're able to find satisfaction with what we have or where we are.

I would in no way say that this current (or recent, depending on your situation) recession is a blessing, especially considering the ways that it was brought about by people who cared more about money and profit than they cared about ethics and honesty.  But it is what it is, and we can do ourselves a great favor by looking for the positive in anything that is, for there most definitely is positive in there.  It may be hard to find and it may not be obvious today, but it is there.  What good can come from difficult times?  Well, it changes for each of us, and we all have to do our own looking, our own reflecting, and our own finding.

Nice thoughts on youth

Youth
Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease.  This often exists in a man of sixty more than a body of twenty.  Nobody grows old merely by a number of years.  We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.  Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living.  In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

fragments

tom walsh

what shall i tell a child if she asks me what is life?
will i recount the pain and hurt and focus on the strife?
or shall i paint a picture of the beauty that is found
in sailing ships and chocolate chips and bugs beneath the ground?

i'd like to think i'd give her hope of all that is to come
but if she reads some poems of mine, her hope shall be undone
i cannot bear to think that i may dim a child's eyes
present to her a world of just confusion, pain, and lies

for if i am to tell her early on of mountain streams
and help her build the pillars that will hold up all her dreams
i'd paint the birds that fill the trees with beauty and with song
a sanctuary in her mind to help when thing go wrong

and in that place in her mind's eye the flowers would grow free
in meadows under blue skies by the mighty loving sea
she's have a place for comfort, have a place to be alone
amidst tomorrow's challenges, no matter how she's grown

i pray to learn my lessons from the children whom i meet
i dream of sowing sunshine on a crowded city street
i pray my words shall never hurt the child here inside
i pray that never shall i fear the child in me has died

i must reject some words of mine if i'm to feel i'm free
embracing hope, i must hold on to how good life can be
that i may treat the children with respect that they deserve
for i shan't live for self alone--i give my life to serve