Co-Operation

As a basketball coach, I have a slightly different perspective on the game than many other coaches.  Mostly what I hear when I listen to people talk about basketball is just how competitive a sport it is, just how important the competition is.  There are five players out there going all out against five other players, and it's important to rise up to the level of competition.

Personally, though, I see basketball as a sport that's based on co-operation.  I see the game as five players working together to try to score and to try to stop the other team from scoring.  And yes, that does imply a certain level of competition, but to me the fact remains that unless those five players cooperate together well, nothing about competition really matters at all.  If there's no cooperation, a team simply will do poorly all the time.

Cooperation is probably one of the most important concepts that members of the human race can embrace and celebrate.  When we work together to achieve goals and to try to accomplish things, then there really are no barriers to what human beings can accomplish.  That's one of the reasons why it's so incredibly sad to me to see what political parties are trying to do to us--trying to fragment us and tear us apart, focusing on our differences rather than on our similarities, all in the hopes of gaining a few votes come election time.

How can you cooperate with other human beings today to accomplish something truly important?  What can you do today with someone else that will leave a mark, no matter how small that mark may be?  What can you and someone else give to the world that will make the world a better place?  We're limited only by our own thinking, by our own judgments and personal prejudices.  I would love to be remembered someday as someone who put cooperation above all else, someone who taught others the value of working together with other human beings to accomplish truly important goals.  Just as I hope my basketball team reaches success through cooperation, I hope that I myself can find some small successes by cooperating with other people to make life better for someone, somewhere.
 
 

What Do I Stand for?

I believe that it’s true that we have to decide over and over just what we stand for in life.  I believe we have to decide constantly because what we think, what we believe, and what we feel changes as we grow older and learn more about life and more about ourselves.  It seems to me as I meet and get to know more older people, I learn how important it is to trust ourselves, to trust our hearts, and to trust our intuition.  And these parts of ourselves can help us to learn just what we stand for in life.

Do we stand for honesty?  Integrity?  Fairness?  Kindness?  All of the above?  None of the above?  We all have certain areas that affect us more strongly than others, certain topics that make us feel more strongly, that arouse our passions, much more than other areas do.  When we learn to recognize what they are and to trust our feelings about them, then we can start to learn what we stand for in life.

It’s hard to conceive of someone standing for the same things at 80 as he or she stood for at 20.  I know that in my life, my thoughts and ideas and passions have changed considerably over the last few decades.  There are certain things that I considered to be extremely important years ago that no longer feel so urgent to me, and other things that are much more pressing.  For example, the tendency to encourage other people was very weak in me when I was younger because I didn’t think that anyone would be affected by my encouragement back then.  Now, though, I realize that it’s important to encourage others because I have no idea at all what will affect them and what won’t.  And there’s a good chance, I’ve learned, that my encouragement will be not only heard, but helpful.

Many people prefer not to stand for anything, choosing instead to allow life to go on without thinking about their own contribution to it all.  And because they never really consider the contributions that they’re making–or could be making–they often end up not contributing at all.  Taking, probably, but contributing, no.

I hope that when the end of my life here on this planet rolls around, I can look back and say that I really stood for something, that I tried to teach others about something very important.  And it won’t matter if what I stood for at 20 was the same as what I stood for in my 60’s–as long as I’ve examined my heart and my conscience and trusted what they had to tell me about where I should stand and what I should do.

What Are You Afraid of?

All of us are afraid.  Each of us fears different things to different degrees, of course, but the bottom line is that we all have fear.  Some people fear spiders, some fear heights, some fear war--but all of us fear life to one extent or another.  All of us fear what life can do to us if we let go of the control we think we have, if we let down our guard, if we don't do the things we're supposed to do, if we get caught doing the things we're not supposed to do.

But it's important to keep in mind that our fears have been taught to us.  And they've been taught to us by people who are just as afraid of things--of life--as we are.  So these are teachings that aren't really in our best interest to believe, much less to cause us to modify our behavior.  It's not our fault that we're afraid, nor is it other people's fault that they're afraid.  It seems to be a human trait to pass on our fears to others--after all, in our early days as a race those fears kept us from getting killed.  And survival is one of our most important genetic imperatives.

We don't have to be afraid, though.  Life is what it is, and it doesn't have anything personal against us.  It keeps on doing its thing while we keep on doing ours.  Our fear of life is often what actually causes many of the things we fear to happen--we bring it on ourselves by focusing on what we fear.  But what happens if we don't focus on that fear--what happens if we actually are able to recognize our fears and let them go, thus not fearing life any more?  What would our lives look like if our actions and reactions weren't motivated by fear--fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of injury?

Imagine your life that way, and then work to make it that way.  A life without fear is a life of peace, a life of acceptance, a life of authenticity.  And why can't your life be that way?  Or can it, once you let go of the fear that keeps you down?

We're afraid of living life, therefore we don't experience, we don't
see.  We don't feel.  We don't risk.  And therefore we don't
live--because life means being actively involved.  Life means
getting your hands dirty.  Life means jumping in the middle of it
all.  Life means falling flat on your face.  Life means
going beyond yourself--into the stars!

 

Leo Buscaglia

What We See

I was a weird kid when I was small.  Don't worry--I'm not cutting myself down.  To me, weird is good, so I see the term as something of a compliment.  In any case, I was weird because I used to think weird things that other kids didn't think about.  I know they didn't because I asked them.  I would wonder things like whether words were really words or just sounds that we agreed had meaning, and what would happen if we assigned a different sound to an object--for example, if we assigned the sound "blurb" for chair.  Is it possible that we could forevermore refer to chairs as blurbs?  I also used to wonder if we all saw colors the same, or was it possible that what I see as blue, someone else sees as my red, but because they've been taught that it's blue, that's the term they use to describe it.

I think about this sort of thing a lot.  I wonder why I see certain people as attractive and other people as unattractive, while others see different people as attractive and unattractive.  I wonder why what I see as frightening (heights, for example), other people see as just something else in life.

What you see may not be exactly what I see.  I think that we're making a big mistake when we assume that other people see things exactly as we see them, for when we make that assumption, we open ourselves up to the possibility of making some unfair and unjustified judgments.  I know that people have judged me for how I react to certain things that I see just because I don't see them as they do.  You may see a certain incident as dangerous, and thus expect me to respond to it as something dangerous, whereas I see it as something interesting.  When I don't react to it as something dangerous, you may call me careless or irresponsible for not reacting as you expect me to react.

When I see a red light, I see a certain shade.  Who's to say that when you see a red light, you don't see it as what I see as blue?  Questions like these keep the world really interesting for me, for I know that our perception is a huge part of our reality, and much of what we call reality is based on that perception.  Let's try not to judge other people based on our expectations of what we think they should see, for there's a very good chance that they're perceiving reality in a very different way than we are--and that sort of difference is something that we should celebrate and try to learn from rather than judge and condemn.
  
  

I Just Want to Celebrate

A great song came out a few decades ago.  Called "I Just Want to Celebrate," the lyrics said, "I just want to celebrate another day of living; I just want to celebrate another day of life."  What a great thought that is.  Most of us slog through our days just getting by, doing our best not to fall back a few steps as we try to advance more.  We deal with annoyances and frustrations and all sorts of things that come our way, but let's be honest--how many of us celebrate another day of living each day?

Celebrating is a wonderful way to shape and improve our outlook on life.  The mere act of celebration shows the world and ourselves that there really is something to celebrate, something special in our lives--even if it is simply another day to spend on this beautiful planet with so many wonderful people.  The celebration doesn't have to be huge or pretentious, either--it could be simply toasting the new day with a glass of wine or saying a small "thank you" as you drink your cup of coffee in the morning.  We should define celebration for ourselves, for only then can our celebrations be authentic.  And if you want to celebrate each new day with a piece of cake and a glass of milk, then for goodness' sake, do so--it's your celebration, so make it what you want it to be.

I want to celebrate each day, but usually I forget to add celebration to my often-busy schedule.  When I do celebrate, though, it raises my awareness of the great world in which I live--and that awareness helps me to appreciate all the wonderful gifts that I have, and reminds me that there are even more things to celebrate than I had thought.

Why celebrate a birthday only one day out of the year?

Why not celebrate life every day?  I can!

I can make every day a day for giving thanks!

unattributed

Lost Chances

It's fascinating teaching English to high school students.  First of all, pretty much none of them have any idea at all what the parts of speech are--nouns, adjectives, adverbs?  Forget it.  Secondly, they insist that they've never been exposed to the material at all, not in grade school, not in middle school, not ever.  The problem is that I know that this claim isn't true--this material is covered in earlier grades.  But from watching them in my classes, it becomes quite clear that they have very little focus and very little desire to learn, so the chances are very good that the material was covered in an earlier class, but that most of the students simply weren't paying attention when it was.

It gets me thinking about myself.  How many opportunities have I let slip by simply because I was too focused on something else to pay much attention?  How many things have I missed learning because something different was on my mind?  Even if the numbers are relatively low, they're still too high for comfort.  I know that learning is a gift, and it's up to us to try to avoid squandering that gift to the best of our ability.  We all have chances to learn all through life, but sometimes we're like my students who are far too interested in who might be texting them right now to stay focused on a lesson on adverbs.  And because of that lack of focus, they and we miss out on some wonderful things that we could know about us and our lives.

Sometimes we reach certain situations sure that we've never been prepared for them.  While this sometimes may be true, it may also be true that we have had lessons in life that could have prepared us for a current situation, but that we chose to do something else and never even noticed that a potentially valuable learning experience has been in our lives.

In my past, I've been a person who has ignored or who has simply been unaware of learning situations.  Now that I'm older and (hopefully) wiser, though, my hope is that I'm aware of learning opportunities when they come my way, and I hope that I'm not like my students--that I won't complain that something is too hard or that I've never been exposed to certain information before.  After all, learning involves taking leave of our comfort areas and moving into unknown territories, and I sincerely hope that learning always is a part of my life.

 

Learning is not attained by chance.  It must be sought for

with ardor and attended to with diligence.

Abigail Adams

 

 

 

Giving the Best

One of the biggest frustrations, by far, of being a teacher is watching the students be so satisfied with mediocrity that they pretty much never put forth any extra effort in their work.  No matter how much cajole, encourage, or motivate, and even with the threat of lower grades hanging over their heads, the majority of our students simply do the minimum amount of work that they have to do to get by, and they're unwilling to put forth the extra effort necessary to excel at what they do.  For them, the minimum is good enough, and they simply don't take any pride in the work that they do.

Of course, I'm not talking about all the students.  There still are many who take a great deal of pride in the results of their work, and in the work itself.  There are quite a few who excel regularly, and who make a point of pushing harder and challenging themselves in order to improve their skills and knowledge.

I don't think this is necessarily a sign of the times.  It's not a phenomenon limited to "these days."  I do believe, though, that the percentage of students who settle for mediocrity has raised, while the share who strive to excel has lowered.  This may not be happening at schools where the majority of students are planning on going to prestigious colleges, but from what I've seen in our public schools, there isn't a lot of emphasis being placed on excelling these days--it's a question of getting by.

And I have to think of myself and my life when I consider this reality.  In how many things do I actually strive to excel, rather than just get by.  Actually, in how many things should I or can I strive to excel?  If I try to excel at everything that I do, how much time would I have for anything at all? Some things just don't call us to excel--when I make the bed in the morning, it doesn't have to be perfect, and when I dust or clean or vaccuum, who really cares if I miss a spot or two?

But what about washing dishes?  Can I be careless in that, when the health of everyone in my household is potentially at stake?  If I change the oil in my car, can I be careless?  I can if I want to risk the entire engine seizing up, and having to replace it.  When I write a letter to a friend, who cares if I misspell a word?  Well, I do--and I'm constantly looking up words, even if I'm pretty sure I know how to spell it already.

I read a "news" blog yesterday that had several severe grammatical errors in it.  It was embarrassing for the author, but the comments section floored me.  When a couple of people pointed out the errors and commented that a journalist shouldn't make such mistakes, other people slammed those people, calling them awful names and saying that it's none of their business whether there were mistakes there or not.  These people were not only okay with very low-quality work, but they were willing to insult others to defend another person's right to do his or her work at an extremely low level of quality.

The question I ask myself is whether I want to be one who is known for a high level of quality, or for a low level.  I do make mistakes on the website from time to time, but they're due to typos that I've missed in the proofreading (it's very difficult to proofread one's own material).  And the agonizing question that I ask myself is "How can I get my students to care about the quality of the work that they do?"  If I'm not able to do so, they're dooming themselves to a future full of mediocrity, for it they're unwilling to strive for excellence, then who is going to want them in their companies doing work for them, unless that work requires no real skills at all?