I went
for a long run one Saturday morning long ago, and it was a glorious
early-fall day. The air was cool and clear, there
was almost no traffic, and the trees were just beginning
to turn. I had found a new route that went almost
entirely through wooded areas, and the beauty of the area
was amazing. It would have been a perfect run if it
hadn't been for the chipmunk that I found on the road.
It
looked like it had been hit by a car because it couldn't
move anything behind its midsection. It was clawing
at the road with its front legs and looking around itself,
but it simply couldn't move.
All of
a sudden, I was faced with a dilemma that I didn't even
want to consider. I could do one of two things--I
could continue running and leave the animal there on the
road to suffer a great deal until it either starved to
death, got run over by another car, or got eaten by some
predator, or I could do the humane thing and kill it and
put it out of its misery. I didn't want to do
either, of course, but I had to choose.
And
the worst option for me was the best thing for the
chipmunk.
Now,
if I were a farmer or a rancher, this decision would have
been very simple. People who live and work with
animals tend to have a very realistic vision of life and
death, and they know that sometimes death is absolutely
necessary. But I haven't lived with
animals my whole life--in fact, I've had very few
pets. So I was out there alone on the road with a
small animal that needed me to make a decision, one that I
never before had had to make. And while I try my
hardest to respect all life and let living creatures be, I
knew in my heart that the only thing to do was to kill the
chipmunk. So I did, in the way that I thought would
be the least painful to the animal that already was in a
lot of pain (I won't go into the details).
As I
ran away, I started to think of how suddenly the need to
make a choice had come upon me, and how often such things
happen. If we find out that a friend is doing
something illegal, do we tell his or her family, or the
police? If we know that a spouse has stolen from his
or her workplace, do we report it? Life is full of
decisions that come upon us because of someone else's
actions or inaction, and we have to be able to make those
decisions that will allow us to live with clear
consciences, if we're to continue to be the people we're
meant to be.
Not
all of the decisions are easy, especially when both of the
options available to us are unpleasant. I could have
asked someone driving by to run over the animal, but I
know that if I had, I would have passed on a
responsibility that I knew was mine, and mine alone.
While I found the experience of killing a poor little
animal to be extremely unpleasant, I knew all the time
that I was doing something kind, not harmful, and that it
was the best of all possible choices. Running away
(literally) from the dilemma would have left me with a
great deal of regret, knowing that I had left it there to
suffer for who knows how long.
Now I
kind of wonder if the chipmunk is going to visit me in a
nightmare, but I don't think it will. I believe its
suffering ended long before it would have otherwise, and
I'm pretty sure that I did the right thing. The
hardest choices usually aren't as clear-cut as this one
was, and if the choice involves other people, they often
will try to make you live to regret doing the right
thing. But if your conscience is clear, you can
stand strong in the face of all criticism, knowing that
you've done what you know to be right.
The
hardest choices so often come upon us out of the blue, as
the result of no actions of our own. All of a sudden
we find ourselves having to decide between two or three
alternatives, all of which are unpleasant. But which
choice is the highest choice? Which choice will
bring the most legitimate benefits to the most
people? Which choice truly is right? Your mind
can rationalize all it wants, but your heart and spirit
will tell you the truth. Listen to the truth, and
live by it. The choices have to be made, one way or
another.
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