So what do we do about all this? How do we go about being "good people" who abide by the rules in order to try to slow down the spread of this virus? How do we not just stay sane, but actually thrive in this crisis? There's a whole lot of potential good that can come of our current situation, but how do we make that good happen instead of focusing on the "impositions" that life is throwing us at the moment?
After many, many years of studying tons of material about what it means to live a full and happy life, I feel pretty well-equipped to handle most of what life sends my way. While I can't tell you what to do with your life because I know little to nothing about you specifically, I can share some of the wisdom that I've been trying to internalize for so long. And while I'd like to take credit for being so wise--actually, that would be my ego that wanted that--I know that any advice that I can give you comes from what I've learned from others. And they learned it from others, too, so perhaps we can call it a universal wisdom.
And the first thing that universal wisdom would tell us, I'm sure, is that if we're to have any chance at all of thriving during this time of trial, we have to accept the situation for just what it is. We have to accept the coronavirus (while still fighting it), accept the deaths that are happening (while still mourning them), accept the limitations that are now an integral part of our lives. They are what they are, and no amount of complaining, no amount of wishing things were different, can change that. We can't even follow the "if you don't like it, leave it" rule for changing our situations on our own--anywhere we would go, we would find very similar situations, some better and some worse, but all very, very similar to each other.
The bottom line is that the situation is what it is, and it's been clearly pointed out to me exactly what I can do to help to slow the spread of the virus, and thus help to protect the people of the community in which I live.
Once we accept things as they are, it's important to focus our minds on what we can do rather than what we can't do now. I can't go teach right now--and so what? If I were to go teach in a classroom full of people, we'd all be in greater danger of becoming infected. I can't eat in a restaurant tonight, and that's okay. That's the way it is. But the more mental energy and effort that I spend on thinking about those things I can't do--and dealing with the ensuing frustration and displeasure--the less I'm able to focus on the current moment and the opportunities it brings me.
Of course, ideas for what to do abound, and here are just a few of them: Read a good book. And since you'll be isolated for a while, read two or three or four by the same author, or on the same topic. Cook a meal that you've never cooked before. Clean your house, thoroughly and completely, and feel the sense of accomplishment that comes when you're done. Watch two or three movies by the same director, or with the same actor, and look for similarities and differences in the direction or the characters. Develop an easy exercise routine, and stick to it. Create a schedule for each day, and stick to it. Spend time with your kids, doing something that doesn't involve screens. Take up painting, or drawing, which is easier--all you need is paper and a pen or pencil. Write a short story or a poem or a novel.
Write letters to friends and family, actual paper letters, and drop them in the mail. Think of how much someone else would like to get a letter during this time of limited mobility. Go for long walks--even our stay-at-home order allows for walking and running and such, for your chances of spreading anything you might have while on a walk are virtually nil. Play board games or card games. Bake, but not too much because you're not exercising your body as much as you normally do, remember?
It's also important to remember some of the dangers of being locked in. For goodness' sake, don't become a slave to screens. Limit your screen time as much as you realistically can, not including time that you have to be working online. Limit the food you take in, too, for again, you're not going to be using your body as much as you normally do. Don't get into arguments with the people with whom you're sharing space--be the one who tries to work out issues instead of getting your way. Diplomacy is extremely important in close quarters, especially among loved ones.
Also, don't build up a set of expectations for the other people in your household. Some expectations can be healthy, especially for young people, but this situation is different and difficult, and you're going to see some coping strategies that you neither recognize or understand. Let people cope in ways that work for them, not in ways that you think they should. Of course, there are limits to what people should be able to do--if your way of coping is making me miserable, then we should work out some sort of compromise--but for the most part, other people's actions bother us because they're not doing what we think they should, and that's a problem that we can avoid easily by not trying to impose our will on others, and not allowing them to impose their will on us.
This is new and different for all of us, and we all will find our own personal ways of dealing with all that life is giving us right now. The ways that we approach our isolation will determine whether or not this time is positive for us or negative; productive or destructive. We have a huge advantage in that we have plenty of resources available to us that can help us to cope with the situation well--and how we use those resources is completely up to us. When this all has passed, I want to be able to say, "Look at all I did while I had the chance to be on my own and get things done." I don't want to have to say that I sat around and moped and worried and sat in front of the television for hours on end because I couldn't think of anything else to do.
Because there's always plenty else to do. It's up to us to do it.
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