Wasting Time

Something that has become much clearer to me over the years is the fact that for most of us, we "waste" very little time.  Unfortunately, I've always been rather harsh on myself for wasting time and not doing anything "productive" when I could have spent the time accomplishing something.  I've come to realize, though, that most of the time that I've "wasted" by playing games or going for long walks or even doing nothing much at all has been time that I wouldn't have been able to do anything, anyway.  My mental state has been such that what I've needed more than anything else is a rest, and by not forcing myself to "accomplish" anything in particular, I've allowed my brain to focus on something other than the incessant need to be productive and to take a much needed break for myself.

Sometimes it's nice to not do anything productive, to just sit and relax or go for a walk or read something good or even just take a nap.  It can be nice to not have any expectations of ourselves, and to not be disappointed in ourselves for not doing something.  Some of my best days have been days when I've purposely planned nothing at all and I've purposely done nothing at all.  Jigsaw puzzles are a great pastime for those kinds of days, or doing something that doesn't take a lot of brainpower or effort, like window shopping or watching something stupid on television, or watching a favorite old movie one more time.

When all is said and done, our desire to accomplish something seems to be a result of the fact that we want to be remembered, and we want to be remembered in positive ways.  We want people to be impressed with things that we've done, and we want them to be impressed with us for having done them.

The great spiritual leaders, though, have recognized something that is a definite truth:  human beings won't be here forever, and even if we feel that what we've done is lasting, it probably really isn't.  The world will go on and on, and the sun will rise and set without our assistance, as the Talmud reminds us.  I've come to believe that the most lasting legacy that we can leave isn't in material goods or possessions of achievements or successes.  Rather, the most lasting legacy is the love that we can share with others, the caring and compassion that our fellow human beings will carry with them after we share it with them.

While it can feel wonderful to achieve and to produce, it's important that we balance our desire to do so with rest and relaxation so that when we do try to achieve, we're well prepared to follow our path on the long haul.  We're not much good if we're exhausted.  And while we're resting and gathering strength, we can focus on things like writing letters and notes to people we care for, giving them encouragement just by letting them know that someone is thinking of them.  While some people are afraid of wasting time by relaxing and doing nothing, it's completely possible that the true waste of time is trying to carry on without having rested and provided ourselves with the strength we need to carry on.