It's important that people should know what you stand for.
It's equally important that they know what you won't stand for.
-Mary H. Waldrip
In the world of today, it's pretty easy to get the idea that living by principle is a concept of the past, something that some people used to do, but not so relevant or important today. After all, we see all over the place the people who have no principles at all to live by, and they're being rewarded over and over again, especially financially. Lots of people are making lots of money without having to display even the slightest indication of principled living--or who demonstrate principles such as greed, materialism, and even hatred and anger as ways of life, while people who do stick to principles such as honesty and fairness and equality are mocked and even punished for decisions they make to stick to their principles.
It's a sad situation, and one that most certainly is going to leave deep footprints in the future of this world, especially in the United States, where more and more people are less and less interested in holding people accountable for wrongdoing, abuse, violence, bigotry, and many other things that used to be unacceptable to anyone for whom principles were an important part of their lives.
Somebody just attacked a public figure who happens to be Muslim, and a police lieutenant went online and posted a rather despicable "joke" about the incident. He was immediately placed on leave, and retired the following morning. He obviously didn't follow principles that have consistently been demanded of persons in law enforcement, who have to deal with people of all backgrounds on a regular basis, and he did pay a rather heavy price for it. In that sense, we can see that principles are still present in many forms and situations, and that's a good thing.
But go to the Facebook page of the television news program that reported on his retirement and read the comments. Many of them are horribly negative, but the truth is that the vast majority of the people who commented said basically, "he should be able to say whatever he wants about anything or anybody he wants." In the comments, you can see a complete lack of principled thinking, of the idea that people should be living up to certain standards, especially if they're public servants. And most of the people think it's okay for him to do so because they dislike--or even hate--the person who had been attacked. Their idea of "principles" seems to apply only to people they like and people they agree with. But if you're different than I am, or if I don't like you, then my principles don't matter.
And this is a direction we've been taking in this country for quite a while now. We've become a society in which people like to judge each other harshly and relentlessly, and such judgment allows us to make "exceptions" to our principles--we don't have to stick to them if the other person "deserves" something. That person next door supports green people, so my principle of treating other people with dignity and respect doesn't apply to that person. The man in the house across the street supports teaching something to my kids in school that I disagree with, so I'm not required to be honest to him because he doesn't deserve my honesty.
It's really quite sad and sick. And the damage that this new ability to modify our own principles to fit different situations does is very real--we can hurt people, we can destroy communities, we can sabotage our own efforts to live well because we're not allowing ourselves to live honestly and live authentically.
I need to stick to my principles if I'm going to be able to live my life fully and happily. If I believe in the principle that all people deserve my respect, then I really must respect the rights that other people have to their own beliefs. No, I don't have to agree with them, and no, I don't have to support them, but I do need to stick to my principles.
And if I do want to follow those principles, I can't call them names, mock them, or treat them badly. I can despise them and all that they stand for, especially when they're racist or misogynistic or cruel, but a principle of decency and respect is just that--a principle that I don't want to violate lest I make myself into a person who is much less than I want to be. No, I don't need to socialize with them, and no, I don't need to tell them that their views are justified in any way, and no, I don't even need to feel that their beliefs are necessarily valid. But I do need to respect their right to have those beliefs and to follow them.
But what if the acting out of those beliefs causes harm to others? Then, of course, our principles of treating others with dignity and respect overrule any beliefs that cause people to harm others. My principles cannot allow for the harm of anyone simply because I don't agree with them, but they also cannot allow for me to be wishy-washy and step back and do nothing when innocent people are being harmed. If I were living in Minneapolis right now, for example, my principles would compel me to be out on the street, protesting, or working for justice in some other way. Sitting quietly and saying nothing would simply contradict my principles that reflect my belief in social justice.
In short, we can look at it this way:
If one of my most important principles is for others to be treated fairly, then I must treat people fairly.
If one of my most important principles is that all people are created equal, then I must treat all people equally.
If I expect honesty from other people, then I must be honest myself.
If I expect my children not to swear, then I need to be careful of my own language.
If I expect other people to be loyal to me, then I must practice loyalty.
In short, if there's a disconnect between what we claim to be our principles that we hope will guide us in living our lives in certain ways and the ways that we actually live our lives, then we're most certainly NOT living life fully, and that's probably the case because of our own tendency to violate the principles that we claim to be important to us.
What are your most important principles? Do you live by them all the time? When you can answer "yes" to the second question, you'll be well on your way to living a full and fulfilling life.
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