our noble features, or the good deeds we do, or
the brave faces we wear to conceal our confusions
and complexities. Identity and integrity have as
much to do with our shadows and limits, or wounds
and fears, as with our strengths and potentials.
-Parker J. Palmer
It's so important to keep in mind that our identity isn't formed only by those things that we see as good. Most of us never really sit down to consider just who we are overall--we know our profession, our nationality, our gender, our family, etc., but we rarely take the time to think about just who we are. Perhaps we don't want to because we're afraid that we'll come up lacking, and find that we aren't what we thought we are. Or perhaps we're afraid because we'll discover the huge potential that we have as human beings to contribute to the world we live in, and that potential scares us.
What Parker is focused on here is important for us to keep in mind--our identity is made up just as much by our fears as it is by our courage. It's made up of our flaws as well as our skills.
And that's okay. When we're fully aware of our flaws, they aren't really flaws any more--they become traits. I have a very hard time remembering names, I'm a very poor organizer, I'm more impatient with some people than I should be, and I often tend to be judgmental. Because I'm aware of these aspects of who I am, though, I can work towards diminishing their predominance in my life; because I accept these aspects fully, I can work with them to turn the judgment into acceptance, the impatience into patience.
We fool ourselves completely if we ignore the less-attractive elements of who we are. And when we try to fool ourselves that way, we think we can defeat the shadows by focusing only on the light, but that's never true. Shadows will still be there until we remove the obstacles that keep the light from shining in those places, and the only way to remove them is to face them honestly and completely.
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