To those of us who have done our best to learn ways to live our lives fully and completely, acceptance is a necessary element of a full life. Things are as they are, and many people make themselves very miserable wishing things were different or working hard to change things (or just complain about things) that are beyond their power to actually change (such as another person's behavior, or today's weather).
For the last several months in our world of today, we've all been dealing--one way or another--with the first pandemic of our lifetimes. We've had epidemics before, but nothing as widespread as this in the last 100 years. Many people are dealing with the pandemic very effectively, learning all they can about the disease and the ways to avoid catching it, about how to keep ourselves and others safe, learning new behaviors, including social distancing and staying at home, even quarantining ourselves if it's possible that we've been exposed to the virus.
But we also see a lot of denial on the part of people who simply don't believe that there's a virus--or who do believe it, but who have convinced themselves that it's not nearly as dangerous as the experts would have us believe. We also see a lot of people who don't deny the existence of the virus at all--but who completely disregard the standards necessary to keep themselves--and others--safe.
Sometimes our lack of acceptance is dangerous to us. Normally, not accepting something as it is can be detrimental. Now, however, not accepting the fact that we face a constant threat from a virus can actually be dangerous to us, even fatal. When we deny the existence of the disease or the reality of the threat it poses or the necessity of the measures that we're taking to keep ourselves from being infected with the virus, we put ourselves and others at risk. And how can we possibly be claiming to live our lives fully if we're behaving in ways that can cause harm?
The truth is simply that we can't. Denial is a surface response, for the most part. In our hearts, we know that the experts in the field are the experts in the field, and that what they tell us is accurate. And if that's that case, saying things like "Masks don't help," or "This whole pandemic is a hoax" is simply a pose, one that doesn't really help us in our hearts and spirits. We know as we're saying it that what we say isn't true, yet because we've said it, we feel pressure to live up to our words and not wear masks in stores. Then we can brag about "sticking to our word," even while inside we're a bit terrified about contracting the virus because yes, we have read all of the articles and have seen all of the newscasts that are telling us it's true--from more unbiased sources than we get get most of our other information from.
Some of our lack of acceptance stems from fatigue, even "compliance fatigue," which is exactly what the words imply: getting very tired of wearing a mask and social distancing, and engaging in more risky behavior because of our exhaustion. We let our guard down and then come up with explanations or excuses for having done so. It feels good to let our guard down after keeping it up for so long--but the potential effects in this case can be disastrous, even fatal.
Do you know someone who refuses to accept that a worldwide pandemic is going on, and that the measures that we're taking are meant to lower the risk of others getting sick? While it's easy to judge those people harshly and call them things like "stupid," the truth is that these people are dealing with the problems in ways that they've been taught to deal with problems, no matter how ineffective or dangerous they may be. Not everyone is ready or able to accept something as dreadful as a pandemic, and we'd be fooling ourselves if we were to think that someone who's not able to accept a pandemic should be able to deal with it in ways that make sense.
I watch a lot of my students take their masks off every chance they get, and gather together with no social distancing at all. I see adults refuse to wear masks in stores and other places where there are many people in the same building. For whatever reason, these people are unable to accept what's going on, and they definitely put others at risk due to their lack of ability to accept.
While it's not our responsibility to teach others about life and living, we do send a strong message when we demonstrate our acceptance of the situation and behave accordingly. When we wear our masks and insist on social distancing, we're sending a very clear message that we've accepted reality as it is, and that we're going to cope with it in ways that are safe and responsible. We aren't going to convince them by calling them stupid, and we aren't going to be able to reason with them, so our best bet is to educate by example, trying to keep ourselves as safe as possible in the meantime. Calling someone out and yelling at them isn't going to help; educating them may.
There are many things that I would like to see in this world. One of those things would be to see more people showing kindness and compassion for their neighbors. Unfortunately, most of our young people are taught self-interest and even selfishness above all else, and because of that they don't see themselves as part of a community, and they don't feel any call to try to keep others in their community safe and healthy. And once they commit some sort of act that may endanger others, their words become words of justification of their own actions. The words of the person who denies that the pandemic is real may be the words of the person who feels guilty for having put others at risk, and who is just trying to justify his or her own actions or inaction.
So let us try to teach through example, and make sure that we don't let any false claims slide--for the adult who claims that something false is actually true may be teaching the child to believe that same lie. We have a hard task in modelling acceptance of life as it is rather than as we would prefer it to be, but it's not an impossible task. Just difficult. And difficult we can handle. We won't always be successful, of course, but at least we can do our best.
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