New Levels of Fatigue

I was just reading an article about some of the fires that have plagued Colorado this autumn--two of them are still burning, and they've become the largest and second-largest wildfires in Colorado history.  The article ends with a statement from one of the firefighters who have been fighting the blazes:  "Everyone's just tired."

What an incredibly apt statement for this particular time in our lives.  Given the pandemic, the extreme weather, the number of fires, the relentless partisan politics in the States, a nasty election year, and so many other things going on, most of us are feeling an exhaustion unlike anything we've felt before.  The main problem is that we're not able to define it or even comprehend it fully, since it really is unlike anything we've felt before.

I think that "relentless" is a good word for the way things have been in our world recently.  Things just keep on keeping on, especially the pandemic, which is now much worse than it was back in March, when we shut everything down.  More people are getting the virus now than at any other time in the last nine months, when we had been hoping against hope that things might be slowing down by now.

One of the major problems that we're facing is that many people have given in to the fatigue, and they're now acting as if the virus has run its course, as they had hoped.  And their reckless behavior is unfortunately putting many more people at risk.

Fatigue can be a dangerous symptom.  It can lead us to take risks that we normally wouldn't take, to do things that we normally wouldn't do, to not do things that we normally would.  Someone who is fatigued can come up with any explanation at all to explain away risky behavior, and feel completely justified in their behavior.  "I'm just tired of that stupid mask" is something that I hear pretty regularly, as people go out in public without wearing it.

And of course, the reality is that it doesn't matter how tired of the mask they are--if they were exposed to the virus a couple of days ago, they may be spreading it now to others.  The masks provide only a small amount of protection to the wearer.  The purpose of the mask is to protect others from the wearer by limiting the amount of moisture that the person exhales from getting into the air, thus spreading the virus.

But when we're exhausted, reason isn't always our best friend.  We become more self-centered, focused much more strongly on our own needs.  It makes sense from a biological perspective--if our bodies are losing their strength and energy, then our minds need to find ways to deal with the problem.  If I've been running for two hours and I feel exhausted, then my mind needs to tell me to stop running.

Interestingly enough, I think that the time I spent in the Army was good preparation for this pandemic.  In that situation, we were forced to work past the limits of our endurance, and we became quite good at it.  And four years in the Army were definitely much more challenging than a year or two of wearing a mask.  To me, this is just a small blip in time, even if it does last two years.  Twenty years from now, these two years will seem like almost nothing--and there's nothing saying that this is going to last a full two years.  Hopefully, this will all be waning to a close by next summer.  But I'm fully prepared to wear a mask however long it takes.  It's simply not that big of a deal.

So how do we deal with exhaustion?  Of course, rest is important, but how do you rest from something that's so predominant, something that you're reminded of every time you go anywhere?  For me, it's very important to take a rest from the news at least a couple of days a week.  This is part of where the relentlessness comes in--we're constantly reminded of the pandemic and the election by newscasts, commercials, and television programs.  This also means taking a break from online news if you're feeling too exhausted to deal with it.

We do need to monitor ourselves better than we normally do, too.  We need to be sure that we're doing okay, that we're not suffering from the effects of exhaustion.  We can do this in part by looking at our behaviors, the things that we're doing and saying.  Are they things that we normally would do and say?  Or are we more touchy, more sensitive than normal?  Sometimes we need to notice these things so that we can plan an emergency day of rest for ourselves, for if we allow ourselves to continue functioning at 100% even while we're exhausted, the chances are much better that we're going to end up doing or saying something extremely damaging, to ourselves and possibly to others, too.

This is the kind of time, too, when practicing acceptance is very important.  Things are as they are, and they're not going to change just because we wish they were different.  It would be nice if our worry or concern could make things different, but they really can't.  This is one of the things that was drilled into us over and over again in the Army--your situation is what it is, and you have to deal with it as it is.  Period.  And this is a lesson that I think that many people who haven't had any sort of long-term training under trying circumstances have a harder time internalizing.  Some things take practice, and dealing with adversity over the long term rather than the short term is one of those things.

It's important that we talk to others, without that talking turning into mere complaining (which can feel good at the moment, but which is almost never effective).  It's important that we be able to express our frustrations and concerns, and even to share our encouragement with someone else who could use it because they're exhausted, too.  Helping others to cope can be one of the most important coping strategies that we use for ourselves.  Getting things out into the open helps us to keep from internalizing them in negative ways, too.  Suppressing frustration and stress and even anger can lead to more of the same, only stronger, later.

We can't wait for others to fix things for us.  We're living through this just as everyone else is, and if we wait for a vaccine or an election or something else to "happen," thinking that then all of our fatigue will go away, we're in for great disappointment.  "Things are as they are" may sound extremely Zen, but the truth is that it's a principal that people from everywhere have learned to be true.  If we don't like them as they are, usually we don't like what our lives have become because of them.  And our only real options are to change our own lives and actions to compensate for the issue (quarantine, mask-wearing, etc.), or accept it for what it is and continue living the way we were, albeit with risks--some of them unacceptable, such as putting others at risk to catch a potentially fatal virus.

We will get through.  Unfortunately, though, that statement doesn't apply to all those who already have died and who will die from the virus.  As a species, though, we'll probably be okay in a year or two, and we'll look back at these times and this exhaustion with a new perspective, having learned a great deal about ourselves and how we deal with long-term adversity.  Not all of us will be happy with what we see, but that's part of the learning experience of life, isn't it?

Hang in there.  If you're like probably more than 90% of the people in this world, you're exhausted.  You suffer from a fatigue unlike any you've probably felt before.  But each day is a new day, and we can take today's difficulties for one more day; and then tomorrow, we can do the same.  It's important that we keep in mind that things are as they are, and if we need to make any changes, we'll know how to make them when the right time comes.  Hang in there, and help others to hang in there, too.  This, too, shall pass.