We're living through very difficult times right now. Most of that has to do with the pandemic and the fear of an early, painful death that will definitely take many of us, and that's a very real fear to have--no one knows just who's going to contract the virus, and we don't know just who's going to die and who's going to recover. So we're living with our fears from day to day, and after many months of doing so, it's getting tiring. Most of us are experiencing some form of fatigue or another, to varying degrees.
Add to this the fact that many people have lost their jobs or are experiencing times of want because their incomes have dropped significantly. Add to this also the fact that many people have lost loved ones in one of the worst ways possible--they've died alone in hospital rooms, unable to have any visitors to comfort them because of the risk of spreading the virus even further. And should we add the incredibly divisive and hate-filled election that we've just experienced in this country? And the isolation that we've all had to experience, not being able to spend time with our loved ones as much as we normally would? We can't even go over to friends' houses for a cup of coffee any more, or invite someone over for dinner, as long as we're trying to be truly safe.
Personally, one of the most important things that's affecting me is the disappointment that I feel when I see people who don't care enough for their fellow human beings to try even in the slightest ways to keep them safe from the virus, refusing to wear masks, refusing to social distance, even threatening and mocking people who are trying to be safe. The disappointment I feel is profound, even if I do recognize that these people are coming from a place of fear that I simply don't feel, so I can't truly understand it.
There are not so many lessons in glad times.
Adversity is by far the better teacher.
Adversity will be part of almost all our lives.
So it is not in escaping adversity,
but in answering it, that our character is defined.
-Christopher Warren
We are living through possibly the most stressful period of most of our lives. I do realize that many people have gone through more difficult times, experiencing significant health problems, times at war as soldiers, being refugees from countries that are too dangerous to live in, and many, many other forms of adversity that most of us will not experience. But as far as global issues are concerned, our current times have dealt us all significant blows and kept us stressed out for a very long time.
The question is this, of course: What are we going to do with this adversity? How are we going to answer it? How can we not just recognize some of the lessons that it's bringing us, but actually learn those lessons and use them to help us to make our lives better? What can we learn from the isolation that we're experiencing? What can we learn from the people who refuse to take any safety measures to protect themselves and others from the virus? What can we learn from the "other side" of the political spectrum, those people who disagree with us and call us names and mock us just because of that disagreement?
I'm telling my students (most of whom are high school freshmen) that what they're learning from their experiences these days is going to make them much more resilient than their predecessors ever were, and they're learning this lesson at a very young age. When they get to college or start their careers and certain challenges arise, they're going to be able to say, "Heck, this is nothing compared to the year I spent doing school from home."
This is something that I can feel myself, because when many things happen to me, I say to myself, "This is nothing compared to the Army." It's all a matter of perspective, in some ways, and if we use difficult times to learn valuable lessons, life can become very rich, indeed. Of course, my four years in the Army were voluntary, but that fact doesn't change the reality of the situation--they were difficult, challenging years that taught me a lot about myself, life, and living. I finished my service as a more patient person who was more appreciative of many of the things that we tend to take for granted in life, such as the ability to choose whatever clothes I wish to wear in the morning.
So what can we learn from these times of adversity? First of all, I think that we can learn about the values of isolation and solitude, even if our isolation is rather forced--and perhaps because the isolation is forced. Most of us would not choose to spend so much time alone in our homes, even though that time can be very healthy. When we learn that we don't need constant affirmation from others, we learn to be satisfied with ourselves and what we do. A day spent alone at home can help us to regroup and recharge, rather than putting ourselves in situations that cause us to be pulled in many different directions by the people we spend time with. Most of us would have given up after a few days of isolation, but the extended version of isolation that many of us are having to deal with allows us to get more used to it more, and to start seeing aspects of it that are more positive, aspects that don't make themselves obvious until weeks or months have passed.
We can also practice compassion. Personally, I strongly dislike wearing a mask, but I know that I wear one to protect other people from me, so to speak, so I wear one whenever I'm in a situation in which I have contact with others. This is especially important to me because I teach at a high school, and I never have any idea what kinds of situations my students have been in. I know that even if I contract the virus, I may be asymptomatic, or I may be in the stage in which I'm still showing no symptoms, but am contagious, and that mask that I'm wearing is supposed to keep the virus that I'm exhaling in my breath from spreading a long distance.
I also want to learn about understanding other people's feelings during these trying times. People are nervous, afraid, hesitant, defiant, angry, and many other things these days--and it's super easy to judge them for those feelings. But rather than judge them, I want to try to understand them. After all, my feelings may seem odd to other people, too, and I would very much appreciate it if someone else took the time to understand where I'm coming from rather than judging me outright. If I can understand other people's feelings and not try to fix their problems for them, I may be able to be a good listener and help someone else to cope with some of the negative emotions that they're going through.
We can also learn from watching other people's mistakes. We can see the outbreaks that result from people refusing to adhere to some of our new-found mandates such as mask-wearing and social distancing. I've always been one to learn from other people's negative actions and results, and now we have a chance to witness a whole bunch of mistakes from a wide variety of people--and hopefully put those lessons into practice, either now or later. Personally, I hope that the number of deaths from silly decisions is minimal--if I'm going to get this virus, I hope that I get it in a way that was unforeseeable or unavoidable, not as a result of doing something that I really know I shouldn't be doing.
Mostly, though, I want to learn how to love stronger, more deeply, more consistently. My reactions should always be loving reactions, even in those situations in which "tough love" is called for. I don't want to let anger get in the way of my love, or frustration or judgment. I want to learn how to share my love in the most positive ways possible during some of the most difficult times that we've gone through. If I can learn to do so, and do so well, then many other people can benefit from the love I'm able to share with them.
How do you make it through adversity? How are you making it through the Covid pandemic? Do you feel strong and healthy and balanced? Or do you feel weakened and out of balance? Adversity strikes us all sometime, and this time it's hitting us all at the same time--so let's do what we can to learn from this pandemic and the ways that people are responding to it. If we can learn these very important lessons, then we're going to be much more effective at loving and understanding our fellow people on this planet. So let's try to figure out how to learn our lessons and learn them well so that we can put them into practice as soon as possible!
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