As the year 2020 draws to a close, I keep seeing and hearing people express the relief that they feel because this year is almost over. It seems that pretty much everyone sees 2020 as a terrible year, one that deserves to end and one that they're going to be glad to move out of on January 1. In many ways, I agree with this sentiment, especially when I consider the horrible toll that the year has taken in the form of Covid-related deaths. So many people have been killed by this virus who would have had much more life ahead of them otherwise; so many people have lost loved ones who now won't be there to contribute to their lives in any way at all, except through memories. And all of our lives have been turned upside-down to some extent or another, especially financially. The toll has been horrific, and I understand why most of us want this year to end.
I won't be sad to see 2020 move into history. But I know that it's not the year's "fault," per se--rather, it's simply that many things have happened in the same time span that we use to define a year. And the first few months of 2021 promise to be worse--as far as the Coronavirus and the death toll from the pandemic are concerned--than 2020 was, so it's not like we're going to move into an immediate reprieve simply because we're going to start writing a different number in the spot where the year goes. We're going to be facing very difficult challenges in the months ahead while we wait for enough vaccine to be produced to allow us to vaccinate virtually everyone (except for those who deny the vaccine, for whatever reason).
And though it can be difficult to see, the truth is that 2020 has given us some gifts of its own, lessons that we have learned over the last twelve months that we never would have learned had it not been for the pandemic. We've learned about the fragility of our economic systems, as well as their strengths. We've learned about our personal resilience and strategies for building it, as well as our personal weaknesses, and hopeful ways of compensating for those. We've learned more about what loss is and how to cope with it, whether that be loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of certain freedoms and habits and routines, loss of norms, loss of a sense of security, or loss of control over our own lives and decisions.
But we have a choice: Do we focus on the losses, or do we focus on what we've learned in our attempts to deal with those losses? Will we look back on 2020 and remember only what has gone wrong, or will we look back with the realization that we've grown and developed as human beings because of the adversity that we've been forced to face? I know that in my life, I've learned an awful lot this year that I probably never would have learned without the "help" of a pandemic.
For example, I've learned to be more comfortable in my isolation. I've always been a bit of an introvert and I've always been comfortable being on my own, but the forced isolation at home this year has reinforced many of the thoughts and feelings that I've always had about the values of solitude. These days, I don't really have the option of going out to be among people without putting myself at an unknown level of risk of contracting the virus, so I choose solitude over company, and the fact that my solitude makes the most sense right now helps me to enjoy it more and to make it more productive.
Both my wife and I have learned about the importance of putting personal safety above material realities. When the school I was working at announced that they were going to open in August with all of the students in the classrooms, with no effort to follow any sort of hybrid model or online model, both of us knew that the risks of me keeping the job--and being exposed to 25-30 students every day in a small classroom with no windows that opened--were far too high for us, especially at my age. So I looked for a job elsewhere and found one in a district where they were going to open with a hybrid model even though the number of cases in the area was extremely low. We both were willing to risk our financial well-being in order to stay safe, and we found that taking that risk put us in a completely different life situation. We now own a very comfortable house in a community that has very little traffic, a low population, and tons of wilderness all around to explore without having to drive for hours to find wilderness.
One lesson has been very difficult to learn--I've learned just how many people are willing to be selfish by not considering the safety of their fellow human beings at all, as they refuse to wear masks in public places even when the wearing of masks has been mandated and is basically law. The danger is very obvious--with the number of asymptomatic people catching and spreading the virus, we can never be sure just who has it and who doesn't. I may feel completely healthy and feel that I couldn't spread anything because I'm not sick, but the reality is that I can still spread the virus and cause others to be sick--or even die--no matter how healthy I feel. This is why we wear masks, and the refusal to wear a mask is simply a slap in the face to everyone else with whom we come in contact.
I've learned a lot about patience, too. There are times when I just want to stop wearing the mask, when I want to do something "normal" like go to a movie or restaurant and be relaxed in the company of others. The inability to be completely relaxed, though, makes our situation much more difficult to be patient with--we see the term "fatigue" being used a lot these days. "Compliance fatigue" and "moral fatigue" are just two of the terms that I've seen used, and they make complete sense. When we get fatigued, it's easier to lose patience and make decisions that make little sense or that are even dangerous. It's important to stay patient even while fatigued, and to make decisions that will help me to stay as safe and as healthy as possible during these difficult times.
On the positive side, I've seen a lot of people who are caring and kind and considerate who are keeping their good humor and who are doing their best to share their kindness with others during the pandemic. I very much admire these people, and I hope to grow into a person who is like them one day. They're willing and able to take risks and be kind to others in these difficult times. As Fred Rogers told us his mother told him, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." It's easy to forget just how risky helping can be, and how difficult it may be for people to help others, yet there they are, taking the risks and helping all they can.
I've also watched others learning lessons that are very important, such as budgeting their money in new ways, making changes that are important for their safety and well-being, caring more for others when they might have been exposed to the virus, staying isolated when they would much rather be doing things with friends, etc., etc. I know of people who work all day and then come home and undress in their garage, heading straight for the shower, not being willing to expose their families to even the possibility of contracting the virus that may be on their clothing. Others have become extremely conscientious about washing their hands regularly or using hand sanitizer. Many have learned the value of working remotely, and many companies have been willing to reconfigure their job expectations to allow people to work from home.
The bottom line, I think, is that there have been many important lessons embedded in this so-called "horrible" year. It's our choice, though, whether we learn those lessons and make changes in our lives based on what we've learned, or simply complain about all the terrible things we've had to go through this year, not allowing this year's lessons a chance to make our lives deeper and richer. The truth of the matter is that human beings tend to learn more from adversity than we do from prosperity, and we certainly have had bucketloads of adversity thrown our way this year. Personally, while I'll be glad to see us move into a new year, I'll always be grateful for all of the lessons that 2020 has brought to me, and I hope that I'll be able to live up to those lessons by making my life fuller and richer because of the wonderful lessons that I've learned.
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