The next week or so promises to be rather challenging for many people who live in countries where they celebrate Christmas. After all, there are tons of parties and get-togethers and secret Santas and gifts to buy and people to visit and foods to eat and expectations and hopes that all seem to come together in the week before Christmas. One of the things that I do to cope with the extra stress of the next couple of weeks is to take a step back and doing my best to become an observer, someone who watches everything happen but who makes no judgments and who doesn't take anything that happens personally. A crummy gift from that person? Interesting, but no big deal. Completely forgotten by that other person? That is interesting, but what can I learn from it? When we observe, we learn. We listen carefully and closely to other people instead of focusing on speaking. We see other people's fears and triumphs and nervousness and actions, and we learn a lot about who those people are by seeing what they do at Christmas time. I think we have too many judges around the holidays, anyway--no one needs me to be another judge of who they are and what they do. When I observe, I can notice who needs help and offer it. I can see who's being neglected and possibly put a candy bar on their desk. I can see who's feeling overwhelmed and spend a few minutes talking to them so that they can vent and put their feelings into words, and possibly deal with things better then. I do participate in Christmas--it's not like I pull myself out of it completely. But I don't get caught up in the drama or the conflict or some of the other silliness. Rather, I do my best to try to see what I can so that I can do what I can to contribute to making the season more bearable for those people who may be having a hard time. This way, I just may be able to contribute something other than just presents and egg nog and cookies.
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