Is This All Illusion?--A Paragraph a Day

The idea that what we consider to be our "reality" is actually illusion intrigues me.  I've seen many movies and documentaries that make the argument that what we see isn't really what we think it is, and I've read many books and articles that claim the same thing.  It's a fascinating idea to think that what we think is surrounding us every day could actually be all or mostly in our heads and our imagination, rather than what we think it is.  This is a hard concept to wrap our minds around, it's true, especially when we consider things that we consider to be "solid," like our houses.  Is it possible that the reality of our houses is simply an illusion that we all agree to, and which therefore manifests itself as reality in our minds, where it really matters?  The idea was explored in the film The Matrix, which shows our reality as a computer program that's being fed into our brains to make us think that we're actually living our lives, while in truth we're functioning as living batteries, a power source for the electronic beings that are now in charge of the planet.  I think it's important to consider such ideas as possible--even remotely--whether we actually believe them or not.  It's only when we look outside of what we've come to consider as "real" that we can start to appreciate the vast amount of possibility that this life provides us with.

Kindness Isn't That Hard (But I'm Not That Good at It)--A Paragraph a Day

It really surprises me sometimes when I think about kindness and I realize just how little I actually try to be kind, just how little I make kindness my highest priority.  Often, I admit, I don't have to think about it much.  I've tried to make it my default way of acting, but sometimes I seem to get sidetracked and I forget all about kindness when I'm more focused on defensiveness or a feeling of a need for control or simply feeling overwhelmed or tired or even hungry.  It's not so difficult to be kind, though, is it?  It's something that we all can accomplish if we want to, and something that benefits not just the people we're kind to, but ourselves as well.  The kind word or action can even start a ripple that spreads out and affects more people than those with whom we have direct contact; one of the beauties of kindness is the fact that it does spread, and that we never know just how far our individual kindness reaches.  I'd like to be better at being kind--more focused on being kind and trying to be kind to others--and I'm constantly trying to improve when I actually think about it.  Of course, some kindnesses are in disguise--I think I'm kinder to my students when I hold them to standards and don't pass something that should be failing--but even so, they are kindnesses.  One day I hope to live a life of kindness every day, and I hope that it doesn't take me too long to get there.

One Power of Music--A Paragraph a Day

I listen to a lot of music, and I have my entire life long.  It's soothing to me, especially when there's a strong melody and good vocals.  Some songs I can listen to over and over again, without ever growing tired of them.  Music has been a friend to me since I was very young--since I was in a military family, we moved pretty constantly, and the music was about the only constant in my life other than my family members.  And quite honestly, I often preferred the music to the family members, given the amount of conflict that they liked to create.  We could move from the west coast to the east coast to the midwest, and I could turn on the radio anywhere and hear the same songs.  Even the disc jockeys sounded the same, oddly enough.  It was pretty much the only stable element of an early life that completely lacked stability, the only consistent element in a life that completely lacked consistency.  Some people like music for scholarly reasons; others are musicians and they love music because they have a strong relationship with the sounds.  Me, I appreciate music definitely for the sound, but mostly for the way it was always there for me when I needed to be comforted or reassured that the world wasn't completely falling apart, that there was at least one thing that I could depend on.

Can We Teach Kindness?--A Paragraph a Day

Kindness is often on my mind when I'm teaching high school students.  It's one thing to teach things like English and Spanish and Literature, but it's something altogether different to try to teach young people to be kind to one another, to show each other compassion and understanding.  Most young people do their best to be good people, of course, but it's very tempting for them to say those words that will make someone laugh, but hurt someone else.  It's easy for them to be inconsiderate--or perhaps it's difficult for them to be considerate when their main focus in life is currently themselves.  It comes with the age, doesn't it?  They're growing and learning and trying to do the best they can in everything, but they're still self-centered.  So how do we teach kindness?  Honestly, I don't really try because I'm not sure that something like that can be taught.  I do model it every chance I get, which is almost all day, every day, but I don't look at it as something that I can teach to someone else.  Rather, I make sure to point out the negative results of unkind words and actions, and I leave it to them to learn it rather than thinking that I can actually teach it.  After all, they have to want to have the positive results of being kind in their lives, and the best that I can do, I think, is to help them to see clearly the positive results of kindness on one's own spirit.  I don't know how effective the lesson is, but I believe that they can learn to be kind by wanting to feel the positive feelings that come from having been kind to someone else.

A Time to Rest--A Paragraph a Day

Today was a restful day.  I didn't do a whole lot, as the weather outside wasn't amenable to outdoor activities, and I had that day off from work.  I did a few chores and tasks, I played a few games of chess online, I went for a run on the treadmill, I read, I listened to music.  I didn't accomplish a whole lot, and that's okay.  I needed a day with nothing really going on, with out any stress of getting a particular task finished or achieving anything specific.  It was very nice just flowing with the day, and sometimes I wonder if that's what life is supposed to be like--not worrying about accomplishment or pleasing other people, but doing what the day brings along and doing our best at it and trying to enjoy it.  I think that on the day I day, I'm going to think back much more fondly on those days that I spent simply being, and less fondly on those days that were stressful and annoying.  Sure, there's a sense of pride to be had when we accomplish certain things or get other things done, but who knows if our goal in life should be to learn how to simply be,  rather than learning always how to do.  Our cultures value the latter, though, so that's what we tend to focus on, never even thinking that we may be doing something that's more harmful to us than slowing down, resting, and being mindful of all the gifts that are part of our lives.

The Kid Inside--A Paragraph a Day

After a while the middle-aged person who lives in her head begins to talk to her soul, the kid.
-Anne Lamott


It seems that the older I get, the more I'm in touch with memories from my childhood.  Recently, tons of memories that hadn't surfaced for decades have started to make their ways into my conscious mind, and I can guarantee you that it's quite strange.  I'm remembering long-forgotten things that seem to be almost the life of a stranger, separated as I am from my childhood by at least five decades.  But when they do come back, they're strong and they're clear, and they make me realize just how much trauma I actually underwent all those years ago, and they help me to understand some of the many issues that I still have to face in my daily life.  They help me to see why I fear this, why I'm hesitant to do that, why this bothers me so much, why that gets me so angry.  And more importantly, they help me to see that that young person who I was is still a very important part of who I am, and that I should be treating myself with love and compassion because that young person didn't deserve to have that sort of trauma pushed into his life in the first place.  It's important that I accept him as he was without judgment, and that I love him unconditionally and allow him to influence some of the many decisions that I make every single day.

Do I Have Too Many Clothes?--A Paragraph a Day

Sometimes it's hard to feel that I'm being responsible with the resources available to me on this planet. We constantly hear different rules for living life responsibly--we should be frugal, we should spend freely, we should live simply, we should take advantage of all that's available to us.  What I try to do is simple--I want to live within my means, with a definite sense of responsibility towards that planet and the people and animals and plants on it, but I also want to be realistic.  For example, I want to live simply, but I have a lot of clothes.  There's a part of me that says, "I shouldn't have so many clothes if I want to live simply," but there's another part that acknowledges that the vast majority of my clothes have been gifts from others or thrift shop purchases, so I'm not exactly being excessive.  I also know that I can get rid of all the clothes in a moment if I need to, and I won't miss them.  They've been cheap and they serve a purpose, and they're not more important to me than they should be.  But I also know that if I were to get rid of them, especially if I were to donate them somewhere, they could end up somewhere where there are literally mountains of cast-off clothes that nobody wants.  Our clothes and the clothes of people from other wealthy countries are overwhelming places in Africa and Asia, and filling their landfills rather than our own.  Me holding on to them hurts absolutely no one, as long as I actually use them.  So use them I shall, and keep them I shall, till I may not need them any more.