Life without Busyness

If work and leisure are soon to be subordinated to this
one utopian principle--absolute busyness--then utopia
and melancholy will come to coincide:  an age without conflict
will dawn, perpetually busy--and without consciousness.

Gunther Grass


I think we may be near the age that Gunther warned about, if we're not there already.  I've known plenty of people in my life who have been so extremely addicted to working that they hardly do anything else at all, and they rarely if ever have time available to spend with other people--even their own families.  And if they're satisfied with the results they're seeing, then who am I to tell them that what they're doing is harmful?  It's very common to watch other people make drastic mistakes that will harm them in the long term, but be unable to convince them that a change would help them because they see the world only in the short term.

One of my goals of the last couple of decades has been to not be too busy to enjoy life.  I didn't want to get so caught up in work and tasks around the house and other obligations that I wasn't able to do things that I enjoy, and spend time with people whose company I enjoy.  I found that it was relatively easy to do so, for it took some simple decision-making that was rather painless.  Personally, I like being a helpful person, but at time in my past I've been somewhat too helpful, and lost some valuable opportunities for some very nice experiences because I committed myself to help someone else.  Interestingly enough, whenever I've helped others, it's always seemed that they didn't really need much help at all, or that they could have easily done the job themselves.  My presence wasn't at all necessary, and my time could have been much better spent elsewhere.

Of course, that's not always true.  There are plenty of legitimate opportunities to help people and organizations that truly do need our help.  What I've learned, though, is that that person doesn't have to be me.  There are plenty of other people who are able to help just as well--or even better--than I can.  And if someone else is doing the work, I have time to do something that can be reinvigorating, rejuvenating, for me.

We face a lot of pressure to make ourselves busy meeting other people's needs.  Many other people have gotten very good at getting others to do their work for them, or at least a part of it.  The boss at work can pressure a subordinate to take on extra tasks; the person in a relationship with us can manipulate or guilt-trip us into spending our time on things we don't necessarily want to be doing.

Our task as human beings who are responsible for our own well-being is to make sure that we don't overextend or overcommit ourselves.  We need to be sure that we don't sabotage the chances we have to be happy and to live life on our own terms, rather than spending our precious time on tasks that we take on because others ask us to do so.  Personally, I'm working on this right now because I just retired, and I want to make sure that any time ahead of me is going to be spent wisely, with a balance between living and working, being busy doing tasks and being busy taking care of myself (see below).  No matter where we are in life, it may be a good idea to step back from the busyness and make sure that what we're spending our time on is fulfilling and healthy, and that we don't get so busy doing things for others that we spend no time doing things for ourselves.  Because we're each worth it.


I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.
I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.
Sometimes, this is my busy -
and I will not apologize for it.

Brittin Oakman

A Time to Rest--A Paragraph a Day

Today was a restful day.  I didn't do a whole lot, as the weather outside wasn't amenable to outdoor activities, and I had that day off from work.  I did a few chores and tasks, I played a few games of chess online, I went for a run on the treadmill, I read, I listened to music.  I didn't accomplish a whole lot, and that's okay.  I needed a day with nothing really going on, with out any stress of getting a particular task finished or achieving anything specific.  It was very nice just flowing with the day, and sometimes I wonder if that's what life is supposed to be like--not worrying about accomplishment or pleasing other people, but doing what the day brings along and doing our best at it and trying to enjoy it.  I think that on the day I day, I'm going to think back much more fondly on those days that I spent simply being, and less fondly on those days that were stressful and annoying.  Sure, there's a sense of pride to be had when we accomplish certain things or get other things done, but who knows if our goal in life should be to learn how to simply be,  rather than learning always how to do.  Our cultures value the latter, though, so that's what we tend to focus on, never even thinking that we may be doing something that's more harmful to us than slowing down, resting, and being mindful of all the gifts that are part of our lives.

Quiet Afternoons--A Paragraph a Day

It's really quite fascinating to me just how nice quiet afternoons at home have become for me.  There was a time when I wanted to be out doing something, when I wanted to be active, when I felt I was wasting my time if I wasn't actually doing something.  But these days, some of my most pleasant moments come when I choose to stay home in the afternoon and read or play chess or color or draw or write.  I still love being active and doing things, but I've reached a point at which balance is very important, too, and I really like being at home, doing nothing, while outside the world keeps going on and on without me playing an active role in it.  I wouldn't want to do it all the time, of course, as I'm sure the charm would wear thin, but as long as I do balance staying in on a quiet afternoon and just relaxing with the other approaches to life that I tend to take, then I'll be fine.  Such afternoons stir appreciation for the home I have to relax in, for the money I have to maintain the home and my lifestyle, for the opportunity even to just slow down and be for a few hours.  It's a privilege that not everyone in the world is able to enjoy.  Quiet afternoons can give us some of our best moments if we can be sure to actually enjoy and appreciate them without feeling that we should be doing something else.