Feeling Overwhelmed and Helpless (in Today's World)

The more I think about the human suffering in our world and my
desire to offer a healing response, the more I realize how crucial
it is not to allow myself to become paralyzed by feelings of
helplessness and guilt.  More important than ever is to be very
faithful to my vocation to do well the few things I am called
to do and hold on to the joy and peace they bring me.  I must
resist the temptation to let the forces of darkness pull me into
despair and make me one more of their many victims.    -Henri Nouwen


"The more I think about the human suffering."  This is such a difficult concept to come to terms with, especially for those of us who are fortunate enough to not be subjected to things that make us suffer.  It seems that these days, many more people are suffering than ever before.  That may not be true, for when we figure in our immediate access to news that we probably never heard before, plus the sheer number of people on the planet, more suffering and more awareness of suffering seem inevitable.

However, it is also true that things are happening in today's world that we simply haven't witnessed before.  Never in my wildest imagination would I have imagined what has happened in Gaza for the last two years actually happening, with the world watching and doing little to nothing to help out.  Not only have we seen a military killing almost indiscriminately, but we've also seen a situation in which food and medical aid for people who were sick and starving were completely forbidden, and people who tried to get food to starving children have been actually killed for their actions.

And in the United States, families are being torn apart because we have masked, uniformed people roaming the streets and beating and arresting virtually anyone they want, with little to no control.  Foreign-born people who are in the country legally are being arrested and deported, often for no legitimate reason.  Many people in the country wake up every day afraid of what might happen to them if the officers decide to arrest them today, for they often have little legal recourse available to them, even if what the ICE officers is doing is illegal.

As much as I would like to, I cannot solve these problems.  I cannot help these people personally.  And I have to say that it hurts to say that, because I would like to be able to do so.  So what can I do to help me to get along with my life without being overcome by feelings of helplessness and despair?  I think that Henri has hit the nail right where it needs to be hit:  I can continue to do what I'm doing and do it well, helping myself to avoid despair and to bring some peace and hope to the people who are a part of my world.  I'm not a person who has universal effect on anything, but I can keep on keeping on and put more positive energy out into the world.  The hard part is being satisfied with that, of course, but that's simply a question of my own perspective, and my acceptance of some very real limitations.  I can't do everything, and no one expects me to.  I need to do the best I can with what I have, and be satisfied with that.  I may be helpless to stop massacres in the Sudan, but I'm not helpless when it comes to showing kindness to others and helping them in ways that I'm capable of.

(page coming very soon)

Battling Ignorance (in Today's World)

There is no evil in the universe which is not the result
of ignorance, and which would not, if we were ready
and willing to learn its lesson, lead us to a higher wisdom,
and then vanish away.   -James Allen


One of the most incredible defining features of our current world is the extreme amount of ignorance to be found among people of all social groups, of all economic groups, of all nationalities.  Unfortunately, ignorance has become a tool for many of the world's politicians, just as poverty has always been a tool.  The politicians understand that if the population is literate, then voters will be able to recognize the lies that politicians regularly use to get elected, and then they more than likely wouldn't vote for the candidate come election time.  The current situation in the United States is due to this dynamic--the quality of education in the States has been declining steadily over the past four decades or so, and as a result, we have many millions of people who are willing to accept lies as truth, and to repeat those lies to others, presenting them as "facts."  They do no research on their own to find out if something is true or not, because it's easier just to believe the people who are lying to them.  Something like Fox News isn't an accident--it's a carefully crafted tool designed to make people think they know facts that support one political party, while simultaneously getting them to hate and fear the "opposition," or those who don't agree with them politically.

So what do we do about this?  In these days when ignorance not only has been institutionalized but also is celebrated, what can we do?  Of course, as with all else we have to start with ourselves if we want to be making our lives all they can be.  We need to educate ourselves, first of all, on the issues that truly matter to us.  We obviously don't need to be experts on virtually everything, but we do need to be able to back ourselves up if we're going to be discussing important issues.  And we need to make sure that our sources of information aren't solely those that we've chosen because we like what they say.  We need to listen even to people with whom we disagree--at least, listen to them until their arguments are proven to be fallacious.  Part of our research can be simply to read a certain amount of news each day, paying close attention to the sources of any information we may use to back up our own arguments.  It's also important that we actually listen to opposing arguments, partly out of respect, and partially to understand exactly what the other person is trying to say.

I will always be ignorant of certain subjects.  I'm not an economist, and I never shall be--but there are plenty of people who are experts in that field, and if I find some that are trustworthy, then I can have a valid opinion on the directions a national economy should go, based on what I've learned from their expertise.  I don't have to have a degree in economics to have a solid understanding of what's going on in the world economically.

We don't want to be ignorant--but we have to make an effort to learn if we're going to be able to say that we're truly not ignorant.  And each of us always will be ignorant of certain things--after all, ignorance is simply not knowing something, isn't it?  The problem that we're facing is that ignorant people are claiming to know things that they truly don't know, and to introduce laws that support their biases and prejudices, rather than make life better for everyone.  And that kind of ignorance is harming many, over and over again.  This is a struggle that has to start by looking at oneself and making sure that we're doing all we can to make sure we're not part of the problem.

We Really Do Need Hope (in Today's World)

If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed.  But we
are more than logical.  We are human beings, and we
have faith, and we have hope, and we can work.   -Jacques Cousteau


In some ways, I've come close to losing my hope these days--and why wouldn't I?  In my country, the system of checks and balances that our government is supposedly based on has crumbled, and is completely failing the country now.  We have politicians who, because of superiority of numbers, are able to do virtually anything they please, without facing any consequences, for they've seen the flaws in the system and rather than fix those flaws, they exploit them, to the harm of all.  I'm watching people violate Constitutional law constantly while facing absolutely NO repercussions for doing so.  I'm seeing families torn apart while people pat each other on the back for having done so--even though no one in those families has done anything to deserve that fate.  It's depressing, and it's disheartening.  And to be completely honest, I believe it's all quite evil.

But I do hope.  I have the hope that things will turn eventually.  I don't know what it will take--a general or two to finally stand up and fulfill their vows to uphold the Constitution?  A group of people elected in the mid-terms who can turn the tide and help to keep the rule of law from being violated constantly?  I know in my heart, unfortunately, that we face the prospect of the entire country being sucked into an abyss of corruption and violation of law, but sometimes things have to be broken down completely in order to be rebuilt better.

My hope is that better times are ahead, especially for our young people, who don't deserve the obstacles that we've put in front of them by simply accepting all that happens in our government and in the business world.  I have hope that we can allow our humanity to shine in the ways that we spread kindness and love and compassion.  I have hope that we can work together, rather than yell at each other across a great divide.  I have hope that we shall overcome, and not submit.  I have hope that Love will find a way.

Kindness Can Still Go a Long Way (in Today's World)

Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care
and kindness of our parents.  And then later on in our life,
when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are
again dependent on the kindness of others.  And since at
the beginning and end of our lives, we are so dependent
on others' kindness, how can it be in the middle
that we neglect kindness towards others?

the Dalai Lama


We see and feel a whole lot of negative energy in the world today--so much so that it's practically overwhelming.  I often find myself thinking that with so much hatred and anger and malice and prejudice constantly being shown right before our eyes, how can we possibly do anything in our own small ways that will make any sort of difference?  And when that happens to me, I remind myself that my responsibility isn't to change the world--it's to affect in positive ways the worlds that I live in--the world of my family, the world of my friends, the world of my workplace.  And in that world, I can contribute to the positive energy very simply by being kind.  If someone angers me, I can show patience and kindness; if someone is feeling down, I can give encouraging words; if someone has a particular need, I can meet that need, or teach that someone how to meet that need themselves; if someone's feeling lonely or isolated, I can give them a small and simple gift--even a simple candy bar can be a wonderful gift.  There are many, many ways that I can be kind, many ways that I can contribute to the positive energy of this world we live in.

My kindness, of course, isn't going to fix the world.  It isn't going to cause authoritarian regimes to crumble, and it isn't going to fix the lives of families that have been terribly harmed by unfair and uncalled-for detentions of loved ones.  It isn't going to restore the jobs of the hundreds of thousands of people who have been fired this year for no good reason.  But we have to start somewhere, and in my heart I know that if there's any good place to start adding to the positive energy of the world, then kindness just may be it.  And if we spread our modest kindness with love in our hearts, then we're also adding the positive energy of love as well.  And we can definitely hope that our kindness will be passed on, which will make things even better.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel that what we do means nothing.  But kindness never means nothing, and in today's world, our attempts to keep kindness from going extinct can only help the world, no matter how modest our efforts may seem to us.

Being Aware (in Today's World)

You don’t need to push the water to enter the bean.  You let
the bean be in the water, and slowly, slowly the water is absorbed.
Overnight the bean gets soaked, swollen, and tender.  You are like
these mung beans and awareness is the water.  The practice is to
bring your mind gently back to the present moment with your body
and unify body and mind.  The tension will slowly dissipate, your
awareness will grow, and you can see things in a clearer way.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

In some ways, I don't want to be aware any more.  There are so many things that I see that simply make me crazy and angry and frustrated and hopeless--but I know that it's my reaction to what I see that's causing me stress, not what I see itself.  I have to keep reminding myself that in these times of turmoil, my awareness is more important than ever.  I don't need to dwell on the news, and I certainly don't need to doomscroll through social media to constantly make myself feel worse, but I do need to know what's going on.  Some people may need me to explain it to them in a logical, objective way.  There may be causes that arise that I can participate in.  I may know about historical events that were similar to what's going on now, and I can explain the parallels and differences to others.  My ignorance about what goes on in the world serves no one.  My awareness at least has the potential to serve others and to serve me, myself.

I do choose carefully which sources to get my news from, and how much news to actually read at any given time.  My awareness is important to me, but I want to be aware of things as accurately as I can.  I can reach overload, though, especially these days, so it's important that I recognize when I need to turn off the flow of incoming news and opinions.  Otherwise, it would be very easy for me to get completely overwhelmed and to lose my sense of balance in the world.

We don't need to know everything--if we tried to, we'd probably go crazy.  But we do need to know that bad things are happening all over the place in many different areas--in U.S. politics, in global climate change, in the Middle East, in Africa, in China--the world seems to be in turmoil almost everywhere, and unless we want to allow that turmoil to sneak up on us and surprise us with something horrible someday, we need to be aware of happenings and trends and changes that are going on if we want to have even the slightest chance of making the most of the lives we have in a world that is most certainly not at peace these days.

Awareness.  It's not up to us to change the world ourselves, and we can't save everyone everywhere, but we can be aware, for our own sakes and for the sakes of other people who are part of our lives.  So let's keep our eyes and ears and hearts open so that we can at least be aware of what's going on, and what may happen because of what's going on.  There may be nothing more important for us these days than to know what's going on in the world--the world in general, and the microworld(s) that we live in ourselves.

Gentleness--Living in Today's World

Is the concept of Living Life Fully even helpful these days?  Are all of the words and ideas and concepts that encourage people to live their lives fully out of date and irrelevant?  This series is inspired simply by the state of the world today--we're living in a world of division and anger and even hatred, and at times it seems impossible to feel any sort of peace with all that's going on.  It seems for many people that their stability and safety in life are being stripped away, leaving them to fend for themselves in a world that doesn't seem to want to help.  Personally, I'm not at all fond of the directions our world is taking, and I'm very frustrated that there seems to be little to nothing that I'm able to do to make anything better for anyone--I just have to go along for the ride as everyone else does.  As I go, though, I want to look for the little things I might be able to do to make the world a more pleasant place for others--spreading kind words, being considerate and polite, encouraging and complimenting--all little things, but for someone with no real wealth and no way to accumulate wealth, they're ways that I can contribute to the positive energy of the world--and when we add my contribution to your contribution to his contribution to the contributions of thousands of other people, suddenly it doesn't seem so trivial.

Can you commit to spreading as much positive energy, as many positive thoughts and ideas, as you can each day?  I really do believe that it's going to take each one of us who truly wants a kind and gentle world in which EVERYONE feels loved and accepted to focus on our own efforts, and make sure that they're consistent and consistently kind and positive.

The world seems to be in an awful state--but is it hopeless?  I hope not--the history of humankind has always been a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs and brutal moves from left to right and back again, and we find ourselves in one of the valleys now, when human nature is being shown in so many ugly and unpleasant ways.  But I still have my life, and I have my own world to live in, my microworld among the macroenvironments that make up this planet and its people and all of the natural world that's here with us.  One thing that I can do on a tiny level is try to explore the concept of Living Life Fully and how it can be achieved in a world that seems so darned unfriendly.  After all, my doctorate is in Teaching and Learning, and I've done a lot of learning in my life.  Perhaps it's time for me to pass on what I've learned in small doses, with the intent of helping others to see more clearly some of the concepts that I've learned about, and to help others put into practice strategies that can help them to get more out of the lives that they're living.

So here goes.  Today I start with Gentleness, a concept that many people today see as weakness, but which can be one of the most effective strategies we can adopt in the effort to live our lives more fully.  We must remember that our gentleness doesn't need to be world-changing in order to be important or effective.  But it will be life-changing, both for us and for those people who are on the receiving end of our gentle actions.


Gentleness

Only the weak are cruel.  Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.    -Leo Buscaglia


We're seeing a lot of cruelty in the world today, and it can be very tempting to want to completely do away with it, to want to change the hearts of cruel people so that they're no longer cruel.  We can't do that, though.  No matter how many people post negative attacks on cruel people on social media, the fact is that tomorrow, the cruel people will still be here, and they'll still be cruel.  We change very little by attacking, but we can change a lot by being gentle and kind.  Today I'm going to do my best to be gentle:  to give a gentle response to an aggressive person; to gently remind someone that being kind to others is important; to gently correct someone with the truth when they're spewing lies.  Gentleness doesn't always have immediate effects, but the long-term effects can be extremely awesome; we just have to trust that our gentleness today will have a positive effect on the world tomorrow.  We can let the weak be cruel, but it would be a terrible thing to emulate them simply to placate them.  We can disagree with them aggressively, which will probably cause more conflict, or we can gently correct them, and put our hopes in long-term effects rather than short-term returns.  When we're gentle, we're giving hope to others that perhaps things can get better, and I hope that my gentleness will sooth an aching soul rather than rile it up even further.

Finding Fits--Being Young Today

For those of us who are older, who have been around a relatively long time on this planet, the lives of our young people tend to be a bit beyond our comprehension.  It's very difficult--if not impossible--for us to understand just what they're going through as they try to make their ways in life, as they try to establish themselves and their personalities and their identities.  They face a world that's far more complicated and far more difficult than most of what we had to face years ago, for the world that they're living in is very, very different from the world in which we established ourselves.

One of the most glaringly obvious differences that we see all the time is the fact that young people today carry around computers, having access 24/7 to a huge amount of information, entertainment, and content designed to addict users.  While there are those who argue that such access to a world of information is a wonderful advantage for our young people, it's becoming clear that this access is sabotaging many of their academic, professional, and social pursuits.  To make things short, though, one of the most dire effects of the computer on our young people is its tendency to isolate them, to keep them addicted to looking at a screen rather than interacting with their fellow human beings, and that's something that we need to recognize and that we need to do something about--for their sake, not for ours.

Most of us grew up being forced to interact regularly with our fellow human beings, whether that be in school or at the store or in the park or playground.  These days, though, we see empty parks and playgrounds constantly, as kids are at home in front of screens instead of outside dealing with the world they live in.  Of course, all of our interactions with others weren't positive when we were younger, but they all helped us to learn about the world and the people in it.  We learned social skills that have helped us professionally and personally, and we've been able to put those skills to use in our jobs and in our daily lives.  (Unfortunately, those of us who are older don't have nearly as many opportunities to interact with young people these days, which makes it difficult to pass on knowledge and wisdom that we've gained over the years--but that's a different essay, isn't it?)

As a high school teacher up until a few months ago, I've seen huge changes in the young people with whom I've worked.  Speaking in general, of course, the young people of today's world are dealing with many issues that we didn't really have to deal with.  They tend to feel a sense of isolation that was much less common three or five decades ago--parents are less accessible, friends are less accessible, and teachers and other role model/mentor figures are less accessible.  Mostly this has to do with two things: overcommitment and screen addictions, including both phone screens and television/streaming screens.  And I'm not saying the kids are those who are addicted.  When I was young, neither of my parents were addicted to screens, which meant that they weren't constantly distracted by things like reels and social media (in my family that didn't help much due to the highly dysfunctional nature of my family, but that's another story).  I knew plenty of kids who spent plenty of time with their parents, which can be one of the most valuable learning experiences we have.  Nowadays, even when a parent is with a kid, that parent is very often talking on the phone with someone else or scrolling through social media or looking at emails.  The kids get to "spend time" with a parent, but experience being neglected because the parent "prefers" the company of the phone to the company of their child.  It's a brutal message to send to a kid.

Likewise, many kids find that the "friends" they have at school aren't going to be friends outside of school because those kids are too busy.  They're going to soccer practice and then they're going to tutoring and then they're working and then they're playing video games or watching movies--they're doing something with a screen involved.  Spending time with friends is something they have to make an appointment to do, and they can do it only when their "friends" happen to be free for a few moments.

This isn't the story of every young person, of course.  And in countries other than the United States, the screen isn't nearly as dominant a presence in the lives of young people--kids still get together to be kids, to spend time together, to enjoy each other's company, to simply be.

But what does all this mean?  Mostly, I try to keep this fact in mind when I meet young people and I think of how I want to treat them.  I really do want to treat them with dignity and respect, as they're not being treated that way regularly.  They're facing tons of expectations even though they're being rather poorly prepared to meet those expectations.  We can't neglect kids and then expect them to be strong, contributing members of our society.  But if we treat them well, teach them well, and love and encourage them, they have a much better chance to succeed, both on their own terms and the terms that are defined by society.

I want kids to succeed.  I want them to be happy and to lead fulfilling lives.  The next time you see a kid, remember that that young person is leading a life and a very young age that we couldn't have imagined when we were that young, and show them some kindness and compassion, and let them know that there is at least one adult in their lives who cares about them and who cares about what they're going to be later in life.

You never know when your encouragement and caring will be just the thing that a young person needs as a catalyst that helps them to keep going, to keep trying, and simply to keep growing.