For me, the spirit of Christmas is about
letting the loving but messy little rituals
become just as important as the solemn
and graceful ones. It's about making
room for everyone. -Ann Michael
It's going to be difficult this year, I think, to celebrate Christmas without having the thought in the back of my mind that celebrations are somehow inappropriate or out of place. After all, the world is going through so many challenges now that make things seem almost hopeless. The war that Russia started in the Ukraine drags on, while people are still dying. The conflicts between Israelis and Palestinians continue to claim lives, while militants in African nations have killed over 20,000 people this year. The US is continuing to kill people on boats near Venezuela, and is indicating that war may be imminent. Millions of families have been devastated by poverty and illegal ICE detentions and layoffs. The list could go on for the rest of this page, it seems.
But so this is Christmas. 'Tis the season of peace and love and joy, or at least it's supposed to be for Christians. Unfortunately, many Christians in the United States have become radicalized, and they've warped the main messages that Jesus taught: Love one another, help one another, be kind to one another. This new dynamic most definitely does diminish the message of Christmas, unless we're able to separate those people who have adopted radical and inappropriate interpretations of Christian teaching and the Bible from the holiday itself, which can still stand as a beacon of hope and love and even joy.
My Christmas is going to be separate from the radical, hate-filled messages of the people who aren't able to separate their politics from their religion. If I'm to celebrate Christmas properly, then I need to focus on love and compassion, on others and their needs. And I need to make sure that I take advantage of my personal situations in order to make the most of them--I'm not going to be able to celebrate love if all I do is focus on the negative things going on in the world. I don't want to forget them, but I also can't let them bring me down. If I were in a terrible situation myself, I would want people who weren't in the same situation as I to go on with their lives, and to live fully and take advantage of all they have available to them.
Which is not to say that I would fully understand someone who decides to "cancel" Christmas in solidarity with those who aren't able to celebrate because of life situations that have been pushed upon them by others. Would the lack of celebration for just one year be a sign of giving up completely, of letting the world get us down? Absolutely not. It could be a very strong message to others that our commitment to other human beings is strong and that the well-being of others is just as important to me as my own well-being. I know that there are people who are deciding to do just this, and I understand completely where they're coming from--they're not letting the world situations get them down; rather, they're standing strong in the face of those situations and doing what they feel is right, in their own way.
We're going to celebrate, because much of the rest of the world is going to celebrate. We want to stand together with the people in the world who want to celebrate the ideas of love and kindness and giving and compassion. I'll enjoy the lights and the music, and I'll give gifts to as many people as I can to show that I'm thinking about them and that they mean a lot to me.
Life is difficult right now for many, many people. Life is difficult for me at the moment, but I still have things much, much better than millions of other people do. And even in difficult times, I wouldn't want people who are in better situations to avoid celebrations that are legitimately worth celebrating.
So here's to celebrating a Christmas during which we focus on loving one another, and healing one another. A Christmas during which we share kindness and caring for one another, and during which we celebrate the wonderful potential we all have to help others in this life, and to give all that we can to the other people who share this planet with us. I wish you a very merry Christmas, and I hope that we all can work together to bring more love into the world in the hope that the love will drive out the hatred and fear and anger.
Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a person has to be him- or herself. -Francis C. Farley
Christmas is nigh, and we all have the chances once again to do something special for someone else this Christmas season. Personally, I love the Christmas season because it's a time when people let down their guard a bit and treat each other just a bit more kindly, with a bit more respect and caring and love. And to be honest, that's that way I want to be all the time, and this time of year allows me to share that feeling with others. The rest of the year, it often seems like I'm the only one who wants to do special things for other people, and at times that can get very frustrating and even discouraging, because most people aren't ready to accept that kind of behavior if there's no special occasion for it.
Think about it: If you were to give some of the gifts that you give for Christmas on just some random Tuesday in June, how would people respond? In my experience, their first response would be to be baffled. Why is this person giving me a gift? That's often (usually?) followed by suspicion: What does s/he want from me? Is this a come-on? It's a shame, but in our societies we're often taught to be suspicious of anyone doing anything out of the norm, and it's also a shame that doing kind things for people for no particular reason is quite out of the norm.
Of course, I'm not talking about buying a car for a co-worker that I hardly know. Rather, I'm thinking about the little acts of kindness that we can show to others that can help them to have a better and brighter day. During Christmas season, we see tons of those--candy and cookies in the mailbox or on the desk, kind words in the hallway, asking about our holiday plans or what we want for Christmas. What most people don't seem to realize is that these things are natural for us--it's natural for us to be kind to others, to share gifts with them just because, to actually speak to them as if we're interested in what they say.
But as Francis says, we see this as "unusual" behavior. We see this type of treatment of others as an aberration. But what if we were to take back our right to act in ways that come naturally to us, no matter the outcome? What if I were always to be kind to others even when I get rudeness or indifference in return? What if I want to be giving even when others aren't ready or willing to be getting? What if I want to share even when others don't seem to be interested in sharing?
It isn't always easy. I work at a school at which fully half of the faculty doesn't even look at other teachers when they pass them in the hallway--honestly! That makes it hard to continue to say good morning to people who simply ignore the greeting. After a while, my tendency is to say to myself, "Okay, they're not interested in hearing a greeting from me, so I'll stop." When I do that, though, I'm very clearly allowing their actions to affect my decisions about how I'll treat other people. And I don't want that to happen, so, I have to keep on saying good morning even when someone doesn't respond--if I want to be true to myself and the person I want to be.
At Christmas time, I think it's easier because so many other people are also receptive to what we have to give. They not only accept it, but they express their appreciation for it, too, and that makes us feel better about having offered our gifts in the first place. So we have a chance to be ourselves because we're not afraid that being ourselves will cause us negative results or feedback.
So let's take advantage of this Christmas season and give all that we can in all the ways that we can (in a realistic way!). And let's use this season as training, getting experience in giving and in getting, so that we can continue to be ourselves every day of the year. It really is up to us if we want to show our true selves to the world.
One thing that I've learned over the years is that it's necessary for me to do things early during the holiday season if I'm going to enjoy the season for all that it's worth. I have to get gifts early, I have to get them wrapped, and I have to get the gifts and the cards mailed very early. What I've learned is that it's much nicer to sacrifice some time in early December than it is to be stressed out near Christmas. It's one of those trade-offs that is more than worth it--I lose a few hours of what could be productive or restful time early in the month, but when Christmas does show up, I'm done with all that I need to do, and I can relax and enjoy sitting around and drinking egg nog and reading A Christmas Carol. I don't have to worry about gifts or deadlines or stores that are out of what I need. I don't have to do any last-minute shopping, and I can help others with things that they may need to have done. Sometimes life becomes easier when we're willing to sacrifice something today to make for a better tomorrow. One of the times that I've found illustrates this point very well is the Christmas season. If I'm willing to spend some time early in the month making the lists I need to make and doing what the lists ask me to do, then I can have a holiday that's relaxing and stress-free, and surprisingly enjoyable! I'm not extremely good at it yet, but I'm working on it--the holiday season gets less and less stressful each year that it comes, because I'm getting better at meeting it on my terms, and taking care of things earlier rather than later.
