Common Sense: An Endangered Quality?

I truly love common sense, and I really like being with people who show it regularly.  Common sense is one of the most important traits that human beings can show, I believe, for it allows us to avoid stupid mistakes and to do things that make sense, no matter what the circumstances.

The problem seems to be that common sense often contradicts the wants and needs of other people who have influence over us.  It can even contradict our own wants and needs--if something goes wrong with our plumbing but I have no expertise or experience with plumbing, common sense tells us to hire someone who does.  But what if we don't have enough money to pay a plumber to come out and fix things?  Then we make the decision to do it ourselves even though we're not quite sure what we're doing, and that's a decision that can end up costing us tons more money if we make mistakes that need even more professional help.

I think that some people simply never have learned about common sense.  They're not able to look at a situation and figure out what the clearest, most common-sensical approach to dealing with it would be.  If a child is having a bad day and being a pain, we'll often see parents get upset with the kid, telling them to knock it off and to act better.  Common sense would tell us, though, that the most important thing that we can do is to find out what's wrong--especially if the behavior isn't normal for that person.

Everybody gets so much information all day long
that they lose their common sense.
-Gertrude Stein

It's rather easy to lose track of common sense in a world that pressures us to know everything, and to do everything quickly.  Sometimes we lose common sense because of our tendency to hurry--we ask ourselves, "What would be the quickest solution to this problem?" rather than "Which solution makes the most sense and has the best chance of being effective?"  Our desire to get things done and move on to the next thing can hurt us rather significantly if we're not careful, and it's hard to be careful if we're constantly focused on time.

We also lose our ability to practice common sense when we overthink.  We tend to overanalyze so much of what we do because we've been taught that logic and reason are the most important traits that we can exercise when dealing with any sort of problem.  After all, the human being has been gifted with reason, so we should use our reason in every situation, right?  But things don't always work out that way.  One of the most common stereotypes of men is that we tend not to stop and ask for directions, even though common sense tells us that someone who lives in the area would be a very good source of information if we're looking for something.  But we convince ourselves that we can "figure it out," and we keep looking even though we've never been in this particular place ourselves.  Of course, all locals aren't going to be able to give us effective directions, but the chances of them knowing how to get somewhere in their own town are much better than the chances of us being able to find something that we haven't found yet.

It is a thousand times better to have common sense without
education than to have education without common sense.
-Robert Green Ingersoll

Our tendency to rely upon technology has been a disaster for common sense.  Once my wife and I were driving with another couple, and the man driving was relying on his GPS device for directions.  We were very hungry, and we were looking for a place to eat.  As we passed through a town, we passed a sign that told us that the next junction was straight ahead, while the downtown area was to the right.  I fully expected him to take a right so that we could find a restaurant in the downtown area, but just then his device "spoke" to him and told him to go straight--it was telling him how to reach his destination by the shortest route possible.  Even though we were extremely hungry, he followed the spoken directions of his GPS, and we ended up bypassing the downtown area, and any chance we had of finding a restaurant in that town.

When the philosopher's argument becomes tedious, complicated,
and opaque, it is usually a sign that he or she is attempting to prove
as true to the intellect what is plainly false to common sense.
-Edward Abbey

We truly should not put logic and rational thought and information on the pedestals upon which so many of us put them.  Common sense, I believe, should always be our first goal when deciding upon any course of action.  Sometimes there will be other needs involved that will force us to not follow the most common-sensical approach and to look for longer-lasting solutions to problems, but in my experience, common sense will help us out far more often in far more many ways than anything else.  It can help us in our relationships, in our jobs, in our recreation, with our possessions and our homes and our dreams and goals and desires--but only if we make the effort to recognize it, and make the decision to follow it.

You'll find more thoughts and ideas on common sense here.

It Is What It Is: Accepting Life Fully

 "Acceptance" is one of those words that many of us seem to have problems with.  We like to "accept" on condition, which really isn't acceptance at all.  It's kind of like love in that way--we give our love freely to those who meet our standards or conditions, but we hold it back from people who don't.  We like to say that we accept life as it is, accept people as they are, accept situations as they are, but putting acceptance into practice is much, much different than truly accepting anything.

If I want to accept a person exactly as they are, then I can't impose conditions on that acceptance at all.  I can't say, "I like him, but I don't want to get together with him because of who he voted for."  We can't say, "You're a great person--once you learn some better manners, I'll be interested in seeing more of you."  We can't accept life as it is if we constantly look for the problems in life.  "I like living here, but it rains too much."  If we lose our jobs for some reason, the very first step that we have to make is too accept the loss, for nothing else can come of the situation until we do accept it.  Even if we were fired for unfair reasons, we can't fight the firing until we actually accept the fact that we have been fired.

Acceptance is a letting-go process.  You let go of your wishes
and demands that life can be different.  It's a conscious choice.
-Gary Emery

When we accept things as they are, we contribute greatly to our own peace of mind and peace of heart, for our acceptance frees us--we have no need or desire to have to make changes to anything.  It is what it is, and it's not our responsibility to improve or fix it.  And since most of our efforts to change things or people or situations to meet our personal criteria end up failing, anyway, that freedom is very welcome to us.  We're free to enjoy things as they are rather than spending our time wishing they were something else.

It's very important that we remind ourselves constantly that we weren't placed on this planet in order to change other things and people in order to make them what we think they should be.  We cannot learn from other people unless we accept them as they are.  We cannot be at peace with situations unless we accept them as they are.  We cannot reach our full potential until we accept ourselves as we are.

Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not
mean running away from the struggle.  On the contrary it means accepting
it as it comes. . . .  To accept is to say yes to life in its entirety.
-Paul Tournier

Of course, acceptance of the way things are doesn't necessarily imply approval.  I may accept someone's drug addiction because the person simply is a drug addict, and I can do nothing to help that person until I acknowledge and accept that fact.  When I accept that truth, I can act accordingly--this is not a person I would put in charge of anything important or have babysit my kids.  And it's not until that person accepts his or her own addiction that any true change can be made.

Accepting life doesn't ever mean that I refuse to try to change things for the better.  It means that I've done my best to see things as they are, and I'm willing to let life and other people do their own things without interference or help from me.  It's a freeing tendency, one that allows us to go on with making our lives the best they can be without feeling obligated to fix things for everyone else.  You are as you are, and that's just fine.  I may not want to spend much time with you because of the way you swear or the way you tend to insult other people, but that's fine.  I can tell you that straight out:  "I like you, but I try to avoid that type of talk because it offends me," and then let you choose whether or not it's worth it to you to tone down the language in order to spend more time with me.  I've made my choices based on accepting who you are, and now you have a chance to make your own choices.  I'm not trying to change you, but my acceptance of you shouldn't make me have to endure behaviors that make me feel awful.

I truly do believe that accepting life as it is and people as they are is one of the most important keys to living life fully.  When we do learn to accept life, accept others, and accept ourselves fully and unconditionally, we lose a lot of self-created stress that comes about because we think we need to control life and control people and control situations--and that's a thought that dooms us to failure and extra stress, because we weren't put here to control things--we're here to learn from things as they are, and to get to know them and love them as they are.

I accept life unconditionally.  Most people ask for happiness on condition.
Happiness can only be felt if you don't set any condition.
-Artur Rubinstein

Visit our pages on acceptance here!