Acceptance (In Today's World)

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts
of a situation, then deciding what you're going to do about it.
-Kathleen Casey Theisen


I'll be very honest--it's become very difficult to accept the things that are happening in the United States these days.  The masked "law-enforcement" officers, the deportations of people who don't deserve to be deported, the pardoning of scores of guilty people who were given fair trials--the list goes on and on, and it's getting worse and worse.  And the unjustified murder of an unarmed woman in Minnesota seems to be the next step in the escalation of actions and policies designed to sow chaos and disorder, to pit people against each other on political and ideological bases, and to keep people from trusting anyone, anywhere.

But accept these things we must, because until we acknowledge the truth that things are not going to go back to how they used to be, we'll never be able to move forward, away from the awful things that are going on.

No matter how much we don't want to admit it, the current situations in this world make it impossible to go back to any sort of "good old days."  We may want to say things like "There's no way that I'll accept a killing in Minnesota," but when one says such a thing, then one is talking about denial, not ethics or morals.  If anything is going to change in this world, then the current facts must be accepted as a first step towards change.  Things are as they are, and pretending they aren't happening is to sabotage any chance for healthy change.

Accepting the fact that a woman was killed in her car while doing nothing wrong does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that you somehow condone the action.  It does not mean that you support the people who did it.  It doesn't mean that you don't care about it.  It simply means that you're willing to say "Yes, this did happen."  "Yes, I live in a country in which a man wearing a uniform is allowed to kill anyone he wants without facing any repercussions so far, and who is actually defended by many people in positions of power."

And acknowledging that fact along with all the other horrible things going on means that we're aware of them, and that we know that change has to come from the place we're at, not from the place we wish we were.  Alcoholics can't really start to overcome their alcoholism until they accept the fact that they're alcoholics.  Until I accept the fact that the kitchen faucet is broken, I can't fix it.  And when I do work on it, I undertake the job knowing that it's broken, not hoping that it's going to miraculously fix itself and be as good as it was last year at this time.

Acceptance is often very difficult.  Right now, it's very hard for me to accept that the country I've lived in for many decades is no longer the same country as it was when I was a kid--opportunities for everyone have dried up as the wealth disparities grow more and more pronounced, and the spending power of the money we earn shrinks regularly.  The amount of debt that young people have to rack up in order to get a college education cripples them, and simply sabotages their futures.  The young people I know today simply don't have the opportunities ahead of them that they would have had at the same age forty years ago.  These are simple facts, and I can't ignore them or deny their importance.

But I still hope for change.  I hope for improvement.  I know that it can't come from me, for I have no real influence on any policies or policy makers, but I accept the fact that I can't affect things directly, and I still try to affect things indirectly as much as I can.  I've taught for almost forty years because I've wanted to do all I can to help young people to know things that would help them in life, and I can keep on teaching, hoping to help people to see directions they can go and methods they can use to bring about change themselves.  I accept my limitations because I know that I can still accomplish something, but I don't waste my time or energy doing things that won't have any effect at all.

Acceptance is not submission.  Acceptance is strength, acceptance is clear-headedness, and acceptance is awareness.  Acceptance is one of the first things that has to happen before any change can be implemented, and it's one of the most important elements of our lives.

Christmas Wishes (In Today's World)

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past,
courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow
with blessings rich and eternal, and that every
path may lead to peace.

Agnes M. Pharo


Somehow, Christmas has always been a time when people like to think about other people, to think about what it means to be a kind, compassionate, caring human being who does good for other people without worrying about their nationalities, their skin color, their sexual orientation, their native language, or any of those other things that so many people lean on to justify their biases and prejudices.  Unfortunately, though, so many people in our world have allowed themselves to fall into the trap of allowing their biases and prejudices to dominate their world-view, and they've allowed those things to also dominate their decision-making processes, so we live in a world that's divided, among people who fear each other more than they love each other, who hate each other for no real reason, and who don't trust each other even on the most basic of levels.

But here we are--no matter how we feel about the world today or the ways that people are treating each other, we're in the middle of it all, right here, right now.  and realizing this truth calls us more than ever to be true to who we are, to our principles, to whatever ethical codes that we hold dear.  Do we feel that human beings should show kindness and compassion to each other?  Then we need to be showing kindness and compassion ourselves--and perhaps trying to show more of each in a world in which it seems that both qualities are in short supply.

Do we feel that there needs to be more love and hope in our world?  Then we need to start with ourselves, and make sure that we keep love in mind when we deal with others--we can't preach love while our own hearts and spirits aren't in a loving state.  And it's not easy to maintain a loving state when we see so many awful things being done to others who are helpless to defend themselves.

Christmas, of course, is a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus, even though his birthday was likely not in December.  And if the holiday is about honoring Jesus--religious beliefs or preferences aside--then it seems to me that we should be thinking about things that Jesus taught.  After all, we're all encouraged to think about civil rights on Martin Luther King's birthday, and freedom on Lincoln's birthday, etc.  But because of the historic truth of the "Christian" churches committing all sorts of crimes against humanity, the teachings of the man take a back seat to the myth of the man's words that have been warped by religious leaders who have been doing little more than trying to justify their own awful deeds by presenting Jesus' words in ways that will make them seem to be following those very words, when in fact they're violating the man's teachings.

So my main Christmas wish would be that the people who believe that Jesus was the Messiah could start to actually understand what Jesus taught, and follow his true teachings, rather than simply listening to other people who are presenting their interpretations of the man's words.  Perhaps Jesus could come back for a few months and start an online course that he could make mandatory for anyone who calls themselves Christian, a course that will spell out explicitly what it means to follow the words of a man who taught kindness and compassion and love for one's neighbor.  If this would happen, MANY politicians would lose their next chance to be reelected, and MANY pastors and priests would be out of a job, taking them out of positions in which they influence people.

And that may be my only wish because I think it would be a great start.  If this were to happen, so much of the hypocrisy and discrimination in the world would cease, and we might not need anything more than this to create a kinder and gentler world.  I think I'll hold off on any other wishes until I see how this one turns out. . . .

'Tis the Season (In Today's World)

For me, the spirit of Christmas is about
letting the loving but messy little rituals
become just as important as the solemn
and graceful ones.  It's about making
room for everyone.   -Ann Michael


It's going to be difficult this year, I think, to celebrate Christmas without having the thought in the back of my mind that celebrations are somehow inappropriate or out of place.  After all, the world is going through so many challenges now that make things seem almost hopeless.  The war that Russia started in the Ukraine drags on, while people are still dying.  The conflicts between Israelis and Palestinians continue to claim lives, while militants in African nations have killed over 20,000 people this year.  The US is continuing to kill people on boats near Venezuela, and is indicating that war may be imminent.  Millions of families have been devastated by poverty and illegal ICE detentions and layoffs.  The list could go on for the rest of this page, it seems.

But so this is Christmas.  'Tis the season of peace and love and joy, or at least it's supposed to be for Christians.  Unfortunately, many Christians in the United States have become radicalized, and they've warped the main messages that Jesus taught:  Love one another, help one another, be kind to one another.  This new dynamic most definitely does diminish the message of Christmas, unless we're able to separate those people who have adopted radical and inappropriate interpretations of Christian teaching and the Bible from the holiday itself, which can still stand as a beacon of hope and love and even joy.

My Christmas is going to be separate from the radical, hate-filled messages of the people who aren't able to separate their politics from their religion.  If I'm to celebrate Christmas properly, then I need to focus on love and compassion, on others and their needs.  And I need to make sure that I take advantage of my personal situations in order to make the most of them--I'm not going to be able to celebrate love if all I do is focus on the negative things going on in the world.  I don't want to forget them, but I also can't let them bring me down.  If I were in a terrible situation myself, I would want people who weren't in the same situation as I to go on with their lives, and to live fully and take advantage of all they have available to them.

Which is not to say that I would fully understand someone who decides to "cancel" Christmas in solidarity with those who aren't able to celebrate because of life situations that have been pushed upon them by others.  Would the lack of celebration for just one year be a sign of giving up completely, of letting the world get us down?  Absolutely not.  It could be a very strong message to others that our commitment to other human beings is strong and that the well-being of others is just as important to me as my own well-being.  I know that there are people who are deciding to do just this, and I understand completely where they're coming from--they're not letting the world situations get them down; rather, they're standing strong in the face of those situations and doing what they feel is right, in their own way.

We're going to celebrate, because much of the rest of the world is going to celebrate.  We want to stand together with the people in the world who want to celebrate the ideas of love and kindness and giving and compassion.  I'll enjoy the lights and the music, and I'll give gifts to as many people as I can to show that I'm thinking about them and that they mean a lot to me.

Life is difficult right now for many, many people.  Life is difficult for me at the moment, but I still have things much, much better than millions of other people do.  And even in difficult times, I wouldn't want people who are in better situations to avoid celebrations that are legitimately worth celebrating.

So here's to celebrating a Christmas during which we focus on loving one another, and healing one another.  A Christmas during which we share kindness and caring for one another, and during which we celebrate the wonderful potential we all have to help others in this life, and to give all that we can to the other people who share this planet with us.  I wish you a very merry Christmas, and I hope that we all can work together to bring more love into the world in the hope that the love will drive out the hatred and fear and anger.

Sharing Compassion (in Today's World)

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening
our circle of compassion to embrace all living
creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.
-Albert Einstein


In this age of division, is it possible that compassion is our key to somehow finding unity once more?  Some of our leaders want us to think that in order to end division, we must "defeat" those who disagree with us.  Others feel that the key to unity is finding common ground even among our division and disagreement, to acknowledge the rights that others have to think and feel as they do, to accept them and their thoughts, and to work together even when we disagree on some points.

Compassion is "feeling with" someone, trying to understand their actions and thoughts and motivations.  It's rather easy to feel compassion for someone who obviously deserves it--the person who's been injured, the friend who has lost their home, the someone who has been abused.  But when we can't easily see the actual sadness, when we don't know the sources of a person's problems, it can be much more difficult.  That person who is against what I'm for more than likely has had some very poor teachers in their life, people who taught them to hate and to resent rather than to love and respect.  And we don't know what led them to actually believe this teacher, to follow their advice.  But it's very possible that even though this person is doing bad things, they're in great pain themselves, and it may be that pain that's leading them to hate, to judge, to harm others.

Since we can never really know what's going on in another's life, it seems that the most effective approach we can take is to make compassion our default response.  That doesn't mean that we should accept and approve of all that other people do, but if we can act around them with compassion, then we can understand that their harmful actions may be the result of great pain in their lives, rather than character flaws or simply being "wrong" or "stupid."

Many people have received poor educations, and it would be unfair of us to judge their words or actions by the same standards that we would expect from someone who's been educated deeply and broadly.  Some people are so afraid of everything that they base their prejudices and biases on their fear, and not on anything concrete or even logical.  And most of them never realize just how much power they give to their own fears.

In a world in which it seems like compassion is dying, just who's going to keep it alive?  Well, I can, and you can.  We're not obligated to do so, of course, but compassion sure seems important enough to me that I want to do all that I can to make sure that it doesn't disappear completely from humanity.  I must foster it, maintain it, share it freely--even with those who don't "seem" to deserve it, and let it be a guiding force in my own life if I'm ever going to have the chance to call myself a "compassionate person."  And on the day that I die, that's a term that I hope more than one person uses to describe who I was when I was here.

Adding to the Positive (in Today's World)

The world needs huge positive energy to fight against
the negative forces. Go to the center of your inner begin
and generate that positive energy for the welfare
of humanity.    -Amit Ray


"The world needs."  Yes, it does.  And where is this positive energy going to come from, if it doesn't come from us?  Who is going to contribute to the world in positive ways if we don't?  Sometimes, though, it seems like an overwhelming task, something immense to ask of us when we're doing all we can just to get by.  How can my tiny bit of positive energy affect the world as a whole?  How can my optimistic words or actions help those people who are suffering greatly right now?

And because it's very easy to feel this way, to think that our thoughts or actions can't be helpful on a grand scale, we give up, and we simply plod through life, beaten down by the sheer overwhelmingness of the awful things that are happening to other people.

But the important thing to remember is that our positive actions don't have to affect the entire world.  They don't have to bring hope to millions of people.  We live in a large world, yes, but we also live in our own little worlds, surrounded by the people who share that world with us.  My world doesn't even consist of the town or city I live in--it consists of me and the people with whom I have contact, one way or another.  My obligation to the world is simply to do the best I can to help to expand positive energy in my world, and then trust that it will ripple out from there.

If I encourage a student today, then she may go home and do something positive for her little brother (whom I shall never meet), or her parents, or another student at school, simply because she feels more positive now.  And then, it's very possible that her positive action for her sister's sake will make her brother feel very good, and that he'll do something positive for someone else.

If I compliment someone who works in a store or a restaurant or in a public service position, then there's always the chance that the person will then "pass it on," complimenting or helping someone else in some way.

We're talking about ripples, about waves that expand from a central point and grow larger as they go, turning still water into moving water, just for a few moments.  We don't have to change the world--we just need to start a ripple, turn on one light switch, light one candle.  You can choose your own metaphor.

The world needs positive energy, especially during these rather dark days when people are reacting more to their fear than to their love, more to their anger than to their compassion.  And it's got to start somewhere, or it will never start at all.

Let it begin with us--you and me.  We can't change the world in one fell swoop, but we can contribute to the positive energy that this world so badly needs.

We Really Do Need Hope (in Today's World)

If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed.  But we
are more than logical.  We are human beings, and we
have faith, and we have hope, and we can work.   -Jacques Cousteau


In some ways, I've come close to losing my hope these days--and why wouldn't I?  In my country, the system of checks and balances that our government is supposedly based on has crumbled, and is completely failing the country now.  We have politicians who, because of superiority of numbers, are able to do virtually anything they please, without facing any consequences, for they've seen the flaws in the system and rather than fix those flaws, they exploit them, to the harm of all.  I'm watching people violate Constitutional law constantly while facing absolutely NO repercussions for doing so.  I'm seeing families torn apart while people pat each other on the back for having done so--even though no one in those families has done anything to deserve that fate.  It's depressing, and it's disheartening.  And to be completely honest, I believe it's all quite evil.

But I do hope.  I have the hope that things will turn eventually.  I don't know what it will take--a general or two to finally stand up and fulfill their vows to uphold the Constitution?  A group of people elected in the mid-terms who can turn the tide and help to keep the rule of law from being violated constantly?  I know in my heart, unfortunately, that we face the prospect of the entire country being sucked into an abyss of corruption and violation of law, but sometimes things have to be broken down completely in order to be rebuilt better.

My hope is that better times are ahead, especially for our young people, who don't deserve the obstacles that we've put in front of them by simply accepting all that happens in our government and in the business world.  I have hope that we can allow our humanity to shine in the ways that we spread kindness and love and compassion.  I have hope that we can work together, rather than yell at each other across a great divide.  I have hope that we shall overcome, and not submit.  I have hope that Love will find a way.

Kindness Can Still Go a Long Way (in Today's World)

Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care
and kindness of our parents.  And then later on in our life,
when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are
again dependent on the kindness of others.  And since at
the beginning and end of our lives, we are so dependent
on others' kindness, how can it be in the middle
that we neglect kindness towards others?

the Dalai Lama


We see and feel a whole lot of negative energy in the world today--so much so that it's practically overwhelming.  I often find myself thinking that with so much hatred and anger and malice and prejudice constantly being shown right before our eyes, how can we possibly do anything in our own small ways that will make any sort of difference?  And when that happens to me, I remind myself that my responsibility isn't to change the world--it's to affect in positive ways the worlds that I live in--the world of my family, the world of my friends, the world of my workplace.  And in that world, I can contribute to the positive energy very simply by being kind.  If someone angers me, I can show patience and kindness; if someone is feeling down, I can give encouraging words; if someone has a particular need, I can meet that need, or teach that someone how to meet that need themselves; if someone's feeling lonely or isolated, I can give them a small and simple gift--even a simple candy bar can be a wonderful gift.  There are many, many ways that I can be kind, many ways that I can contribute to the positive energy of this world we live in.

My kindness, of course, isn't going to fix the world.  It isn't going to cause authoritarian regimes to crumble, and it isn't going to fix the lives of families that have been terribly harmed by unfair and uncalled-for detentions of loved ones.  It isn't going to restore the jobs of the hundreds of thousands of people who have been fired this year for no good reason.  But we have to start somewhere, and in my heart I know that if there's any good place to start adding to the positive energy of the world, then kindness just may be it.  And if we spread our modest kindness with love in our hearts, then we're also adding the positive energy of love as well.  And we can definitely hope that our kindness will be passed on, which will make things even better.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel that what we do means nothing.  But kindness never means nothing, and in today's world, our attempts to keep kindness from going extinct can only help the world, no matter how modest our efforts may seem to us.

Little Ones--A Paragraph a Day

I sometimes get a bit pessimistic about humanity when I read the news and see all the awful things that human beings do to each other just because they believe different things or have different color skin or live in a different area.  It's difficult to constantly see such cruelty and lack of respect for one another, but life is what it is, right?  And we have to deal with it, don't we?  But one thing that keeps me hopeful about human beings is making sure that I continue to have contact with young people, and that's where my teaching comes in.  I deal with lots of high school students who are kind and considerate and who want to make the most of their lives but don't want to step all over other people in order to do so.  I have students who really do want to learn, and who do everything they can in order to do so.  And my wife works with even younger kids--the twins she nannies will be four in a couple of months.  She told me that today, the girl asked her to help her write a Christmas card for her parents.  And without any prompting, this is what she told my wife she wanted to write to her mom:  "Thank you so much for always taking care of us," and she wanted to say the same thing to her dad, but adding:  "and always being there when mommy is away."  The fact that a four-year-old can think that way fills me with not just admiration, but also hope--there have to be more kids just like her in the world, and one day I hope that they're in charge.  And then things will be much, much better than they are now.

What Does Christmas "Spirit" Mean?--A Paragraph a Day

I love the idea of Christmas Spirit, but I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what the term actually means.  It's probably one of those things for which we have the standard kind of answer--"it means something different for everyone"--but it would be nice if we could define it and understand it clearly.  Not because I'm the type of person who needs and wants to have everything catalogued and defined according to a certain set of criteria, but because it seems to be such a positive concept, one that can bring us true joy if we knew how to access it, or harness it, or adopt it.  After all, the Spirit of Christmas would have to include a love of giving, and it would have to include a love for virtually everyone.  It would exclude everything like greed and selfishness, and it wouldn't have anything to do with judgment or bias.  I think that if I want to go out and model the Spirit of Christmas, I would have kind words for everyone I met, and I would be as generous as I possibly could be, given my means.  I wouldn't treat others with harshness, and I wouldn't make them feel that I didn't approve of them for any reason.  If I were to model Christmas Spirit, I would listen carefully when others talked, and I would encourage them as much as I could.  I would be inclusive rather than exclusive, encouraging rather than discouraging, and loving rather than hateful.  I would show gratitude often, and I would take gracefully from those who wished to give to me, while giving wholeheartedly to those who were willing to take from me.  The Christmas Spirit is a spirit that we can adopt for every day of our lives if we choose to do so, and I hope that one day, I'll regularly be treating others as kindly in May or August as I do in December.  The Spirit I share is my choice, after all, and I'd like it to be a caring, loving, compassionate spirit all the time.

A Power We Have--A Paragraph a Day

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.   -Leo Buscaglia


Just a compliment or a kind word--can we really change the world that easily?  Of course we can.  Our lives are intersecting constantly with those of other human beings, and if we want to put more positivity in the world, we always have the opportunity to give something positive to someone else, to share something simple like a kind word that will help them to see the world in more positive ways, to feel better about life and about themselves.  We do have a lot of power to make things better for someone else--no matter how simply we do it or how insignificant it may seem--yet we tend not to take advantage of the chances that we have.  Personally, I know that I don't share those kind touches or those listening ears nearly as often as I could or should, but I do keep on trying.  One of these days I hope to be giving in this way constantly, but until then, I'm going to try to keep reminding myself how important it is and how easy it is to contribute something positive and uplifting to other people in my life.

Are We Losing Hope?--A Paragraph a Day

Sometimes I think that hope is becoming scarce in our world.  We see so much suffering and we experience so many setbacks that many people are finding it hard even to imagine that the future holds anything better.  This seems to be especially true among our young people, who don't make enough money even to afford to rent their own homes, much less buy them.  People continue to do the best they can, but that often isn't enough, and they end up being in dire straits even though they've done everything they can to do things right.  Many young people have become cynical, and rather than looking at the future with hope that it will be better than today is, they think of the future as more of the same--or even worse.  So many people are just one disaster or sickness or car breakdown away from being in serious financial trouble that they're much more afraid than they are hopeful.  How can we help them?  Of course, we can't just give them money to make them feel more secure, and we can't buy homes for them or pay their rent, but what can we do to try to bring hope back to them?  Empty promises of things getting better won't help, nor will insincere encouraging words.  Personally, I don't have the answer, but it's a question worth pondering and exploring:  How can we reignite hope in others?  What can we do to help others to see their futures in bright and positive terms?  I'll keep thinking about this problem, and hopefully others will, too.

Encouragement Is So Simple--A Paragraph a Day

I find it fascinating just how rare encouragement seems to be these days.  It's something that's so incredibly simple to give, yet relatively rare when we compare it to things like criticism and sarcasm.  So many people that I see in the world want to be critics or comedians, telling other people the flaws they see or deciding to make a joke about something rather than giving positive feedback that can give the other person strength and optimism.  I've seen far too many people, young and old, share an achievement with someone else only to hear something like, "Don't give up your day job," a response that's sure to discourage rather than encourage.  And even when someone follows up a response like that with "I'm just kidding," it doesn't really matter--the damage has been done.  First responses are incredibly important to us, and when we try to be funny or harsh rather than encouraging, we've lost a great opportunity to help out another person with words that are free and easy to say, choosing instead to focus on ourselves and our opinions.  Of course, encouragement must be sincere and we shouldn't lie to someone who has brought us something awful and tell them it's good, but we can still encourage the effort involved.  In my life, relatively few people actively encouraged me, and I know that those people who did live on in my heart as very dear people, indeed.