2020: A Year of Adversity and Important Lessons

As the year 2020 draws to a close, I keep seeing and hearing people express the relief that they feel because this year is almost over.  It seems that pretty much everyone sees 2020 as a terrible year, one that deserves to end and one that they're going to be glad to move out of on January 1.  In many ways, I agree with this sentiment, especially when I consider the horrible toll that the year has taken in the form of Covid-related deaths.  So many people have been killed by this virus who would have had much more life ahead of them otherwise; so many people have lost loved ones who now won't be there to contribute to their lives in any way at all, except through memories.  And all of our lives have been turned upside-down to some extent or another, especially financially.  The toll has been horrific, and I understand why most of us want this year to end.

I won't be sad to see 2020 move into history.  But I know that it's not the year's "fault," per se--rather, it's simply that many things have happened in the same time span that we use to define a year.  And the first few months of 2021 promise to be worse--as far as the Coronavirus and the death toll from the pandemic are concerned--than 2020 was, so it's not like we're going to move into an immediate reprieve simply because we're going to start writing a different number in the spot where the year goes.  We're going to be facing very difficult challenges in the months ahead while we wait for enough vaccine to be produced to allow us to vaccinate virtually everyone (except for those who deny the vaccine, for whatever reason).

And though it can be difficult to see, the truth is that 2020 has given us some gifts of its own, lessons that we have learned over the last twelve months that we never would have learned had it not been for the pandemic.  We've learned about the fragility of our economic systems, as well as their strengths.  We've learned about our personal resilience and strategies for building it, as well as our personal weaknesses, and hopeful ways of compensating for those.  We've learned more about what loss is and how to cope with it, whether that be loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of certain freedoms and habits and routines, loss of norms, loss of a sense of security, or loss of control over our own lives and decisions.

But we have a choice:  Do we focus on the losses, or do we focus on what we've learned in our attempts to deal with those losses?  Will we look back on 2020 and remember only what has gone wrong, or will we look back with the realization that we've grown and developed as human beings because of the adversity that we've been forced to face?  I know that in my life, I've learned an awful lot this year that I probably never would have learned without the "help" of a pandemic.

For example, I've learned to be more comfortable in my isolation.  I've always been a bit of an introvert and I've always been comfortable being on my own, but the forced isolation at home this year has reinforced many of the thoughts and feelings that I've always had about the values of solitude.  These days, I don't really have the option of going out to be among people without putting myself at an unknown level of risk of contracting the virus, so I choose solitude over company, and the fact that my solitude makes the most sense right now helps me to enjoy it more and to make it more productive.

Both my wife and I have learned about the importance of putting personal safety above material realities.  When the school I was working at announced that they were going to open in August with all of the students in the classrooms, with no effort to follow any sort of hybrid model or online model, both of us knew that the risks of me keeping the job--and being exposed to 25-30 students every day in a small classroom with no windows that opened--were far too high for us, especially at my age.  So I looked for a job elsewhere and found one in a district where they were going to open with a hybrid model even though the number of cases in the area was extremely low.  We both were willing to risk our financial well-being in order to stay safe, and we found that taking that risk put us in a completely different life situation.  We now own a very comfortable house in a community that has very little traffic, a low population, and tons of wilderness all around to explore without having to drive for hours to find wilderness.

One lesson has been very difficult to learn--I've learned just how many people are willing to be selfish by not considering the safety of their fellow human beings at all, as they refuse to wear masks in public places even when the wearing of masks has been mandated and is basically law.  The danger is very obvious--with the number of asymptomatic people catching and spreading the virus, we can never be sure just who has it and who doesn't.  I may feel completely healthy and feel that I couldn't spread anything because I'm not sick, but the reality is that I can still spread the virus and cause others to be sick--or even die--no matter how healthy I feel.  This is why we wear masks, and the refusal to wear a mask is simply a slap in the face to everyone else with whom we come in contact.

I've learned a lot about patience, too.  There are times when I just want to stop wearing the mask, when I want to do something "normal" like go to a movie or restaurant and be relaxed in the company of others.  The inability to be completely relaxed, though, makes our situation much more difficult to be patient with--we see the term "fatigue" being used a lot these days.  "Compliance fatigue" and "moral fatigue" are just two of the terms that I've seen used, and they make complete sense.  When we get fatigued, it's easier to lose patience and make decisions that make little sense or that are even dangerous.  It's important to stay patient even while fatigued, and to make decisions that will help me to stay as safe and as healthy as possible during these difficult times.

On the positive side, I've seen a lot of people who are caring and kind and considerate who are keeping their good humor and who are doing their best to share their kindness with others during the pandemic.  I very much admire these people, and I hope to grow into a person who is like them one day.  They're willing and able to take risks and be kind to others in these difficult times.  As Fred Rogers told us his mother told him, "Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping."  It's easy to forget just how risky helping can be, and how difficult it may be for people to help others, yet there they are, taking the risks and helping all they can.

I've also watched others learning lessons that are very important, such as budgeting their money in new ways, making changes that are important for their safety and well-being, caring more for others when they might have been exposed to the virus, staying isolated when they would much rather be doing things with friends, etc., etc.  I know of people who work all day and then come home and undress in their garage, heading straight for the shower, not being willing to expose their families to even the possibility of contracting the virus that may be on their clothing.  Others have become extremely conscientious about washing their hands regularly or using hand sanitizer.  Many have learned the value of working remotely, and many companies have been willing to reconfigure their job expectations to allow people to work from home.

The bottom line, I think, is that there have been many important lessons embedded in this so-called "horrible" year.  It's our choice, though, whether we learn those lessons and make changes in our lives based on what we've learned, or simply complain about all the terrible things we've had to go through this year, not allowing this year's lessons a chance to make our lives deeper and richer.  The truth of the matter is that human beings tend to learn more from adversity than we do from prosperity, and we certainly have had bucketloads of adversity thrown our way this year.  Personally, while I'll be glad to see us move into a new year, I'll always be grateful for all of the lessons that 2020 has brought to me, and I hope that I'll be able to live up to those lessons by making my life fuller and richer because of the wonderful lessons that I've learned.

http://livinglifefully.com/adversity4.htm

Hope

'Tis the season of hope, in many ways.  The Christmas season shows us the hope that people are willing to have--hope that love can dominate our lives, that we can find peaceful methods to use and paths to walk on, that we can exist together in harmony in the spirit of unity.  Of course, most of these hopes have not come to fruition on a global scale, but we can reach them more easily on an individual level if we allow ourselves to follow those hopes and do what we can to make them come true.

Why is Christmas the season of hope?  Perhaps it's because a child from humble beginnings was able to teach so many people about the importance of their own lives, about the ways of love, about the true power that people have to affect their own lives by sharing love and compassion with one another.  After all, "love one another" was one of his greatest messages, and one of his most dominant.

I believe very strongly that if we're to have hope, it must be firmly grounded in love.  I may hope that my life will change if I work to make it change, but if I'm not sharing love in my life, will any changes be worthwhile?  If I hope for a better life and I get a higher-paying job, have my hopes come true if I'm also now dealing with unbearable amounts of stress and I'm no longer able to spend quality time with my family?  Sometimes we allow outside indicators like money tell us that our hopes have been realized, but it seems to me that if a hope comes true and lowers the quality of our lives, then it wasn't the best thing to hope for, after all.

So that gives us a second element of hope that's important, and it's the subject of a very common saying in English--"be careful of what you hope for" (aka, "be careful of what you wish for").

In my life, I've hoped for a lot of things.  Most of them haven't come to pass, like peace in our times, like better living conditions for people in this world (and in this country, even), like an end to the partisan bickering that keeps our elected officials from accomplishing positive things that they were elected to accomplish (infrastructure, anyone?).  In fact, many of these things have gotten worse, so my hopes have been dashed over and over.

And in my own rather powerless state as a teacher, my own contributions to bringing these hopes to fruition have been rather minimal--I've cast my votes, I've shared my opinions and thoughts, I've donated to what I've believed to be worthy causes--and it seems rather ineffective, given the success rate of my hopes.

But that said, my entire profession of teaching is based on hope, isn't it?  I teach certain things to 14-year-olds or 19-year-olds with the hope that those things will be relevant and useful to them--and the rest of the world--their while lives long.  I hope that what I teach may help them to craft wonderful lives out of the situations and gifts that they've been given.  I see very little effect of my teachings in the short term--my hope is that the long-term effects will be worthwhile, and that they'll affect my students and the other people in their lives, in positive ways.

We do need to distinguish between wishes and hopes, of course.  If I say in a casual way that I hope you have a good weekend, then I'm basically saying, "I wish you a nice weekend."  On the other hand, if you're going through difficult times and you're incredibly stressed out and you need some rest and rejuvenation, then I most definitely can hope that your weekend is a good one for you, in all ways.

Sometimes it's hard to be a hopeful person when we so many bad things going on in the world, so many people treating each other horridly.  Many of us seem to be content to hope that the bad things don't happen to us, and that the bad people don't come into our lives.  But we can also hope that these bad things stop happening to others, too, and with that hope we can practice spreading love--for it's a well-known truth that people who feel loved are also more likely to feel hope, for they have a reference point in their lives (the love) that tells them that their hopes aren't wasted time or effort.

What do you hope for?  Peace on earth?  Then practice peace with your neighbors and loved ones.  Fair treatment for all?  Then treat everyone fairly.  More opportunities for all?  Then help the young people in your life to develop skills and talents that will open the doors to more opportunities for them.  We can work towards what we hope for.  We can't always see the positive effects of our efforts because sometimes they take years to manifest themselves, but if we know that we're contributing to the love in this world, our efforts will be worthwhile whether we see our hopes coming closer to fruition or not.

Perhaps during this Christmas season, it would be nice to take a bit of time and reflect upon our own hopes--what do we hope, and why do we hope these things?  And we can see in the hopes of the season--especially the "peace on earth, goodwill towards all" part--just how important hope is to us, and just how nice it may be to be working our ways towards the hope that is a tremendous part of ourselves.  Let's let that hope out of the deep recesses where we store it and allow it to affect our words, our thoughts, and our actions.

Hope arouses, as nothing else can arouse, a passion
for the possible.

William Sloan Coffin, Jr.

http://livinglifefully.com/hope.html

Be Good!

Always remember, we all have our own opinions and beliefs. We have different ways in dealing with life’s troubles and joys. To survive our differences without hurting each other is what goodness is all about.  -Dodinsky


Of course, 'tis the season to be good because you definitely want Santa Claus to leave you something, don't you?  This is the season when we barter goodness for toys and treats, when we admit that we're more willing to be good when we're promised rewards for our goodness than when our goodness is simply goodness, with no recognition and no rewards.

That's not a social critique, of course--rather, it's an observation of how we behave sometimes.  I like to recognize things like this because it helps me to consider just what it would mean to me if I were never to try to be good or do good simply for rewards--but still filled my life and acted in the spirit of good for the sake of goodness itself, with no thought at all about any sort of return.

And even more importantly, what would it mean if we were to redefine just what goodness is?  I like this particular definition of the word, for it speaks to our willingness to be civil to each other, to treat each other well no matter how different we may see the world and react to it.  We can do good by sharing gifts and giving things and helping others in material ways, of course, but what about accepting one another fully and unconditionally, as long as the other person isn't doing things that harm others (I'm never going to be accepting of any way of living that includes doing harm to others as a major element of itself).

How does my desire to spread goodness in the world help if I'm not quite sure what goodness is?  Not having a clear idea may cause me to miss many opportunities to spread and to be good, and it may cause me to mistakenly cause harm in certain situations.  If I think it's a good thing to criticize someone because I think they need to learn a certain lesson, I may cause harm when they see my criticism as something else.  Criticism, after all, is simply a message that someone else needs to change something that they're doing, an implication that what they're doing is wrong.  But perhaps it's not wrong at all, but just different.  After all, who am I to say what's right and what's wrong for anyone else?

I believe that's what Dodinsky is getting at with the words, "To survive our differences without hurting each other."  You are you and I am I.  We have our own ways of looking at the world, our own realities, and they may not often match up.  They don't have to match up.  When you tell me that you believe in something that I don't believe in, we don't have to become enemies just because of a disagreement.  I don't have to hurt you by criticizing you because I disagree with you.  We can make it through life being at odds with one another, as long as we're willing to respect our differences and each other.

(This can be very difficult when one person espouses racist or otherwise hate-filled beliefs.  Then we have to ask ourselves if maintaining a relationship would be worth it, or if we would be compromising our own integrity by accepting another person's hatred.  It's a very difficult question to face, and even more difficult to arrive at an acceptable conclusion.  As I get older, I get less tolerant of other people's intolerance, and I find that I don't want their hatred to be a part of my life, and I'm more than willing to break an acquaintanceship or friendship in order to maintain my own inner peace and integrity.)

I want to be good.  I want to spread goodness.  But I have to keep in mind that I can't do so if I'm trying to change others with my idea of "goodness."  It's important to allow for our differences if we're going to share what's truly good in our hearts.  No goodness can be spread where we harm others, and no amount of rationalization can change the fact that our perspective isn't necessarily the "right" one.  You be true to yourself, and I'll be true to myself, and somewhere there in the middle we'll find a beautiful field of grass and wildflowers where we can sit down and enjoy a beautiful time together, without harming each other even in the slightest.  And goodness is where this time will begin, and where it will end.

More thoughts and ideas on goodness

Things Are Not That Great Right Now. . . and What Shall We Learn from That?

 We're living through very difficult times right now.  Most of that has to do with the pandemic and the fear of an early, painful death that will definitely take many of us, and that's a very real fear to have--no one knows just who's going to contract the virus, and we don't know just who's going to die and who's going to recover.   So we're living with our fears from day to day, and after many months of doing so, it's getting tiring.  Most of us are experiencing some form of fatigue or another, to varying degrees.

Add to this the fact that many people have lost their jobs or are experiencing times of want because their incomes have dropped significantly.  Add to this also the fact that many people have lost loved ones in one of the worst ways possible--they've died alone in hospital rooms, unable to have any visitors to comfort them because of the risk of spreading the virus even further.  And should we add the incredibly divisive and hate-filled election that we've just experienced in this country?  And the isolation that we've all had to experience, not being able to spend time with our loved ones as much as we normally would?  We can't even go over to friends' houses for a cup of coffee any more, or invite someone over for dinner, as long as we're trying to be truly safe.

Personally, one of the most important things that's affecting me is the disappointment that I feel when I see people who don't care enough for their fellow human beings to try even in the slightest ways to keep them safe from the virus, refusing to wear masks, refusing to social distance, even threatening and mocking people who are trying to be safe.  The disappointment I feel is profound, even if I do recognize that these people are coming from a place of fear that I simply don't feel, so I can't truly understand it.


There are not so many lessons in glad times.
Adversity is by far the better teacher.
Adversity will be part of almost all our lives.
So it is not in escaping adversity,
but in answering it, that our character is defined.
-Christopher Warren


We are living through possibly the most stressful period of most of our lives.  I do realize that many people have gone through more difficult times, experiencing significant health problems, times at war as soldiers, being refugees from countries that are too dangerous to live in, and many, many other forms of adversity that most of us will not experience.  But as far as global issues are concerned, our current times have dealt us all significant blows and kept us stressed out for a very long time.

The question is this, of course:  What are we going to do with this adversity?  How are we going to answer it?  How can we not just recognize some of the lessons that it's bringing us, but actually learn those lessons and use them to help us to make our lives better?  What can we learn from the isolation that we're experiencing?  What can we learn from the people who refuse to take any safety measures to protect themselves and others from the virus?  What can we learn from the "other side" of the political spectrum, those people who disagree with us and call us names and mock us just because of that disagreement?

I'm telling my students (most of whom are high school freshmen) that what they're learning from their experiences these days is going to make them much more resilient than their predecessors ever were, and they're learning this lesson at a very young age.  When they get to college or start their careers and certain challenges arise, they're going to be able to say, "Heck, this is nothing compared to the year I spent doing school from home."

This is something that I can feel myself, because when many things happen to me, I say to myself, "This is nothing compared to the Army."  It's all a matter of perspective, in some ways, and if we use difficult times to learn valuable lessons, life can become very rich, indeed.  Of course, my four years in the Army were voluntary, but that fact doesn't change the reality of the situation--they were difficult, challenging years that taught me a lot about myself, life, and living.  I finished my service as a more patient person who was more appreciative of many of the things that we tend to take for granted in life, such as the ability to choose whatever clothes I wish to wear in the morning.

So what can we learn from these times of adversity?  First of all, I think that we can learn about the values of isolation and solitude, even if our isolation is rather forced--and perhaps because the isolation is forced.  Most of us would not choose to spend so much time alone in our homes, even though that time can be very healthy.  When we learn that we don't need constant affirmation from others, we learn to be satisfied with ourselves and what we do.  A day spent alone at home can help us to regroup and recharge, rather than putting ourselves in situations that cause us to be pulled in many different directions by the people we spend time with.  Most of us would have given up after a few days of isolation, but the extended version of isolation that many of us are having to deal with allows us to get more used to it more, and to start seeing aspects of it that are more positive, aspects that don't make themselves obvious until weeks or months have passed.

We can also practice compassion.  Personally, I strongly dislike wearing a mask, but I know that I wear one to protect other people from me, so to speak, so I wear one whenever I'm in a situation in which I have contact with others.  This is especially important to me because I teach at a high school, and I never have any idea what kinds of situations my students have been in.  I know that even if I contract the virus, I may be asymptomatic, or I may be in the stage in which I'm still showing no symptoms, but am contagious, and that mask that I'm wearing is supposed to keep the virus that I'm exhaling in my breath from spreading a long distance.

I also want to learn about understanding other people's feelings during these trying times.  People are nervous, afraid, hesitant, defiant, angry, and many other things these days--and it's super easy to judge them for those feelings.  But rather than judge them, I want to try to understand them.  After all, my feelings may seem odd to other people, too, and I would very much appreciate it if someone else took the time to understand where I'm coming from rather than judging me outright.  If I can understand other people's feelings and not try to fix their problems for them, I may be able to be a good listener and help someone else to cope with some of the negative emotions that they're going through.

We can also learn from watching other people's mistakes.  We can see the outbreaks that result from people refusing to adhere to some of our new-found mandates such as mask-wearing and social distancing.  I've always been one to learn from other people's negative actions and results, and now we have a chance to witness a whole bunch of mistakes from a wide variety of people--and hopefully put those lessons into practice, either now or later.  Personally, I hope that the number of deaths from silly decisions is minimal--if I'm going to get this virus, I hope that I get it in a way that was unforeseeable or unavoidable, not as a result of doing something that I really know I shouldn't be doing.

Mostly, though, I want to learn how to love stronger, more deeply, more consistently.  My reactions should always be loving reactions, even in those situations in which "tough love" is called for.  I don't want to let anger get in the way of my love, or frustration or judgment.  I want to learn how to share my love in the most positive ways possible during some of the most difficult times that we've gone through.  If I can learn to do so, and do so well, then many other people can benefit from the love I'm able to share with them.

How do you make it through adversity?  How are you making it through the Covid pandemic?  Do you feel strong and healthy and balanced?  Or do you feel weakened and out of balance?  Adversity strikes us all sometime, and this time it's hitting us all at the same time--so let's do what we can to learn from this pandemic and the ways that people are responding to it.  If we can learn these very important lessons, then we're going to be much more effective at loving and understanding our fellow people on this planet.  So let's try to figure out how to learn our lessons and learn them well so that we can put them into practice as soon as possible!

See more on adversity on Living Life Fully.

Me and My Spirit

That's how I used to see this concept:  I was I, and my spirit was somehow separate from me.  The thinking me, after all, couldn't be the spiritual me.  I was a person who was stuck to the ground by gravity, who was a part of the world that finds itself on this planet, but my spirit was something else, something ethereal, immortal, unlimited and free.

Boy, does that seem strange now.  Now I realize that I am that spirit, that I've hitched a ride in a particular body for a certain amount of time.  I'm not "separate" from my spirit at all--rather, I am the spirit, and I am not simply this body that's here on earth for a short while.

I had a very hard time understanding this idea.  My logical and rational mind, after all, likes to feel that it's in charge, and that it does a pretty good job of making sense of the world and my place in it.  The truth is, though, that it really doesn't.  It's kind of like I put my mind in charge of my life only to find out that it's not competent enough to be in charge.  The mind seems to be quite well suited to be a very good servant, but very poorly suited to be our master.

I do recognize the strengths of the mind.  I'm very grateful for scientists and engineers whose minds help us to develop vaccines and bridges and microwave ovens and airplanes.  My mind helps me to distinguish between lies and the truth, and it helps me to recognize dangers and pitfalls that lie ahead of me in any endeavor I may make.  My mind is a wonderful thing, and I appreciate it a great deal.  Without it, my time in this body would be unbearable, to say the least.

The mind, though, is very limited.  Our eyes are fantastic pieces of work, but they can only see 0.0035 percent of the light spectrum.  Our ears are the same, hearing only a portion of the present sounds in our world.  Likewise, the brain can process many, many things--but it is limited in what it can do.

Our brains, for example, can read about love, study love, interpret love, and process conditions of love, but we don't love from our brains.  We love from our hearts and our spirits, and life is better that way.  Love isn't a negotiation--if it were, it would be in the realm of our brains.  Compassion doesn't come from analyzing data and reaching conclusions--rather, it, too, is a part of who we are, a product of our spirits.  People have tried to think through love and compassion and come up with definitions and explanations of them, but those definitions and explanations always fall short of the true nature of the concepts.  Our minds simply aren't expansive enough to deal with such amazing ideas.

And that's fine with me.  The important part to me is that I've finally realized that there is a difference between who I am and who I've always thought I am.  There is great value in allowing myself to shine as a spirit, as opposed to keeping my spirit subjugated to my reason.

When I allow my spirit to shine, I'm much more patient, for as a spirit I understand the fleetingness of life on this planet and the expansiveness of eternity.

When I allow my spirit to shine, I'm able to deal with life from a position of love and compassion and hope and trust, for as a spirit I don't need to come up with logical reasons to show and feel these things.

I'm able to relax more, for as a spirit I am not in a hurry, and I know that things will come to pass in their own time, as the flower blooms in its own time, not on any schedule.

I can deal with loss more easily, for as a spirit I understand that the words "This, too, shall pass" apply to virtually everything.  When things do pass, I may grieve, but I also understand that I'm to celebrate having experience it while it was here rather than to focus on the fact that it's no longer here.

I can be a beacon to others who see my peace of mind and peace of heart and would like to experience, but who haven't yet been taught the dangers of materialism and addiction to work and money.

I can function in the world without necessarily being part of the world--the negative parts, at least.  I can go to work without feeling fear of being caught up in the so-called rat race, and without dreading so many of the truly trivial elements that so often dominate the workplace.  I can earn my living without contributing to the greed and avarice and heartlessness and meanness of the world.

I can love unconditionally, knowing that others will benefit from that love, even if only slightly, depending upon how ready they are to accept love from others.

I can be more understanding of my fellow human beings, for as a spirit I know and understand the struggles that they're going through trying to get in touch with their own spirits, their own selves, even as they're pulled more and more deeply into the material, superficial world that's been created around us.

There are, of course, many other benefits of allowing ourselves to just be, on the level of our spirit.  I fully suspect that the longer I truly allow spirit to shine through, I'll come to know many benefits that I never even suspected existed.  It's not easy to go through life on a spiritual level--after all, we've been conditioned to see the world as a result of our intellects, and that conditioning is very difficult to put back in its place.  But it's worth the effort.  As I get closer and closer to truly allowing myself to shine constantly as a spirit (and I think I've only come one or two very short steps so far), my life gets simpler and easier.  I understand many things much better, and as that happens, my tension levels shrink significantly.

If we try to get through life using our intellect and reason as our sole guides to life, we're bound to live limited and rather tedious lives.  When we allow ourselves to shine as the spirits that we are, though, life becomes something more, something very special, just as our experiences, too, become much more special and much more loving.

Is More Love on the Way?

One of the hopes that most people have these days, especially with the results of our recent election (that the vast majority of us recognize as valid), is that our country will now experience more love and hope and compassion in our future than we've experienced during the last four years.  Our last four years have been truly devoid of national leaders who put compassion and caring anywhere in their agenda, and many people in our country now feel completely disenfranchised, and threatened every single day.  They're threatened because of their race, their gender, their sexuality, their lifestyle preferences--you name it.  The outgoing administration has done everything within its power to marginalize anyone who doesn't agree with them, anyone who disapproves of them, anyone who's slightly different than they are.  And while I'm very glad that this extremely negative and damaging administration is about to leave, I'm hoping that we all realize that while a change of leaders may make some difference in the way things are, the biggest changes are going to have to come from us in our own individual lives if they're to be lasting changes that affect as many people as possible in positive ways.

Of course, it will be wonderful to have a leader who models compassion and unity rather than anger and hatred and divisiveness.  For the last four years I've been waiting in vain to see some sort of compassion come from the White House, but my wait has been in vain.  There's been a lot of action, but the vast majority of the acts have benefited only those people close to the administration, and those people wealthy enough to benefit.

The decline in the quality of life in the United States has accelerated significantly over the last four years, and it doesn't show too many signs of getting better (https://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/articles/2020-09-11/a-global-anomaly-the-us-declines-in-annual-quality-of-life-report).  When we keep people down, when we don't allow them to have hope of better times ahead, it becomes very difficult for those people to actually spread positive energy in the world, and it seems that fewer people are willing to share their love and kindness with the downtrodden these days.  We're more isolated from each other--and COVID certainly hasn't helped--and much less willing to knock on a neighbor's door to offer our encouragement or assistance.

But if love and compassion are to gain a foothold again, it's up to each of us individually to share what we have with others, without condition.  And I'm not talking about material things, though those can be helpful, too.  Rather, I'm talking about the encouraging word to someone who's having troubles.  I'm talking about a smile and a kind word in response to someone else's rudeness.  I'm talking about a compliment for something done well, or something done better than it's normally done ("That's a good improvement" can be much more helpful than "That's still not right").

But it's also important that we keep our eyes open for the bad things that are happening, to be aware of the difficulties that others are facing.  We still live in a world that is divided and that is facing an incredible amount of anger and antipathy between sibling and sibling, parent and child, friend and friend.  There are many people who are trying to change laws and policies so that they may gain materially.  There are still many people who look down on other because of race, religion, social status, or any number of similar reasons.  We must keep our eyes and our hearts open so that we can recognize the negative things and people in the world so that we can counter what they're doing with a little bit of love of our own.

The world, of course, will go on just fine without us.  It will go on fine no matter what we do, no matter how we treat others.  But we know that the world is in need of positive people, of positive energy, of energy that is focused on unity and togetherness rather than division.  And we can contribute to that unity, to that positive energy, with very little effort on our parts.  My original question was simply, "Is there more love on the way?"  Many people feel that now that we've elected a certain leader, there will be more love and compassion in our country, and I have to say that I don't disagree with that conclusion.

That said, though, I also know that the only way that we can guarantee that there's more love on the way in this world of ours is for each of us to dedicate ourselves to contributing to this world of ours.  The only way that I can know for sure if there's more love in this world this evening than there was yesterday is to put some love out there, no matter how little.  It's a challenge to do so, but at the very least, it's something positive in this world full of negativity.  So my goal is to be someone who contributes love to this world and to the people in my own little world, for that's the only way that I can be sure that the amount of love has grown recently, and that there's now more positive energy in the world than there was yesterday.

And if you were to do the same, then we'd both know that at the very least, two of us have contributed to the love of the world.  And there aren't too many goals to strive for that are more worthwhile than that.

Watching the World's Lack of Acceptance

To those of us who have done our best to learn ways to live our lives fully and completely, acceptance is a necessary element of a full life.  Things are as they are, and many people make themselves very miserable wishing things were different or working hard to change things (or just complain about things) that are beyond their power to actually change (such as another person's behavior, or today's weather).

For the last several months in our world of today, we've all been dealing--one way or another--with the first pandemic of our lifetimes.  We've had epidemics before, but nothing as widespread as this in the last 100 years.  Many people are dealing with the pandemic very effectively, learning all they can about the disease and the ways to avoid catching it, about how to keep ourselves and others safe, learning new behaviors, including social distancing and staying at home, even quarantining ourselves if it's possible that we've been exposed to the virus.

But we also see a lot of denial on the part of people who simply don't believe that there's a virus--or who do believe it, but who have convinced themselves that it's not nearly as dangerous as the experts would have us believe.  We also see a lot of people who don't deny the existence of the virus at all--but who completely disregard the standards necessary to keep themselves--and others--safe.

Sometimes our lack of acceptance is dangerous to us.  Normally, not accepting something as it is can be detrimental.  Now, however, not accepting the fact that we face a constant threat from a virus can actually be dangerous to us, even fatal.  When we deny the existence of the disease or the reality of the threat it poses or the necessity of the measures that we're taking to keep ourselves from being infected with the virus, we put ourselves and others at risk.  And how can we possibly be claiming to live our lives fully if we're behaving in ways that can cause harm?

The truth is simply that we can't.  Denial is a surface response, for the most part.  In our hearts, we know that the experts in the field are the experts in the field, and that what they tell us is accurate.  And if that's that case, saying things like "Masks don't help," or "This whole pandemic is a hoax" is simply a pose, one that doesn't really help us in our hearts and spirits.  We know as we're saying it that what we say isn't true, yet because we've said it, we feel pressure to live up to our words and not wear masks in stores.  Then we can brag about "sticking to our word," even while inside we're a bit terrified about contracting the virus because yes, we have read all of the articles and have seen all of the newscasts that are telling us it's true--from more unbiased sources than we get get most of our other information from.

Some of our lack of acceptance stems from fatigue, even "compliance fatigue," which is exactly what the words imply:  getting very tired of wearing a mask and social distancing, and engaging in more risky behavior because of our exhaustion.  We let our guard down and then come up with explanations or excuses for having done so.  It feels good to let our guard down after keeping it up for so long--but the potential effects in this case can be disastrous, even fatal.

Do you know someone who refuses to accept that a worldwide pandemic is going on, and that the measures that we're taking are meant to lower the risk of others getting sick?  While it's easy to judge those people harshly and call them things like "stupid," the truth is that these people are dealing with the problems in ways that they've been taught to deal with problems, no matter how ineffective or dangerous they may be.  Not everyone is ready or able to accept something as dreadful as a pandemic, and we'd be fooling ourselves if we were to think that someone who's not able to accept a pandemic should be able to deal with it in ways that make sense.

I watch a lot of my students take their masks off every chance they get, and gather together with no social distancing at all.  I see adults refuse to wear masks in stores and other places where there are many people in the same building.  For whatever reason, these people are unable to accept what's going on, and they definitely put others at risk due to their lack of ability to accept.

While it's not our responsibility to teach others about life and living, we do send a strong message when we demonstrate our acceptance of the situation and behave accordingly.  When we wear our masks and insist on social distancing, we're sending a very clear message that we've accepted reality as it is, and that we're going to cope with it in ways that are safe and responsible.  We aren't going to convince them by calling them stupid, and we aren't going to be able to reason with them, so our best bet is to educate by example, trying to keep ourselves as safe as possible in the meantime.  Calling someone out and yelling at them isn't going to help; educating them may.

There are many things that I would like to see in this world.  One of those things would be to see more people showing kindness and compassion for their neighbors.  Unfortunately, most of our young people are taught self-interest and even selfishness above all else, and because of that they don't see themselves as part of a community, and they don't feel any call to try to keep others in their community safe and healthy.  And once they commit some sort of act that may endanger others, their words become words of justification of their own actions.  The words of the person who denies that the pandemic is real may be the words of the person who feels guilty for having put others at risk, and who is just trying to justify his or her own actions or inaction.

So let us try to teach through example, and make sure that we don't let any false claims slide--for the adult who claims that something false is actually true may be teaching the child to believe that same lie.  We have a hard task in modelling acceptance of life as it is rather than as we would prefer it to be, but it's not an impossible task.  Just difficult.  And difficult we can handle.  We won't always be successful, of course, but at least we can do our best.