An Annual Shift in Thinking--A Paragraph a Day

It's December 27th, which means that it's time for us to start thinking about the new year coming up, and to start thinking of things like New Year's resolutions, things we want to accomplish in the coming year, habits we want to leave behind here in the old year. . . simply a multitude of thoughts about who we want to be in the coming year versus who we have been in the current year.  Most of us look to make changes, with the assumption that changes are necessary.  We want to go into the coming year and make ourselves "better."  But in what ways are we lacking?  Yes, we all can improve in certain ways, but do we absolutely need to?  Are we not good enough as we are?  I know that I always look for areas in which I can improve, but I rarely consider making a New Year's resolution such as "continue being kind," or "keep on loving other people."  I think that what I would really like to see happen is to have the thoughts that we feel during Christmas--"What would make this person happy?" or "What can I give that will truly make a difference?"--follow us into our New Year's resolution moments so that we can resolve to be kind and loving and compassionate for an entire year, to as many people as possible.  If we would be able to do this and actually follow through on the resolutions, what a great world we could make!

Sometimes Things Come Crashing--A Paragraph a Day

I find it important to keep in mind that things like holidays can be catalysts, and not always in a good way.  This year, for example, I've experienced a great deal of loss in several different ways.  And while I'm not dwelling on the losses, once Christmas comes around, I've found that those things come back to me very quickly and very forcefully, even though I didn't know exactly what was happening.  It wasn't like I was focusing on the loss and therefore became miserable--rather, I started feeling very strange, and only after a little while did I realize exactly why I was feeling the way I was.  And if this can happen to me, then I can only imagine how other people are feeling about their own losses, many of which have been much more drastic than those I've experienced.  It's a good reminder to me to show compassion all that I can, and to withhold judgment about why people are feeling the things they feel, and reacting the ways they're reacting.  I can do much more good in the world understanding people more than I judge them, and there's nothing like a bit of my own pain to remind me just how much pain other people are feeling, usually solely as a result of outside forces.  I don't want to be the person who judges someone else and therefore decides to be judgmental rather than compassionate; I really want to be the person who shows compassion and thus helps someone else to work their way through problems they're experiencing, and there are very few teachers more effective than my own pain and loss to help me to understand the pain and loss that other people are feeling.  It's important to mourn and grieve when we feel our own loss, and it's also important to try to understand the lessons that our pain and loss are teaching us, even as we're going through the misery that we feel.  If we learn from our loss, it's a much better thing than if we just feel sorry for ourselves.

Christmas Eve--A Paragraph a Day

I really love Christmas, but I think I like Christmas Eve even better.  When Christmas Day comes, here it is, and we're in the midst of it.  And that's fine--I do my best to enjoy myself.  But when Christmas Eve is here, there's still a whole lot of anticipation in the air, the looking forward to things.  It's like having a wonderful holiday on a cozy evening full of beautiful lights and trees and music and egg nog and whatever else makes Christmas Eve for you--and still having something wonderful to look forward to.  Anticipation--looking forward to something--can be just as amazing as having experiences.  As A.A. Milne tells us in Winnie-the-Pooh,

“Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.”

Every year, I love Christmas Eve.  Oddly enough, I married a woman whose birthday is on Christmas Eve, so the day is even more special now.  Christmas is wonderful, but Christmas Eve is even better, according to me.  And it's great that way--I don't have to view the holiday in the same ways that everyone else views it!

Little Ones--A Paragraph a Day

I sometimes get a bit pessimistic about humanity when I read the news and see all the awful things that human beings do to each other just because they believe different things or have different color skin or live in a different area.  It's difficult to constantly see such cruelty and lack of respect for one another, but life is what it is, right?  And we have to deal with it, don't we?  But one thing that keeps me hopeful about human beings is making sure that I continue to have contact with young people, and that's where my teaching comes in.  I deal with lots of high school students who are kind and considerate and who want to make the most of their lives but don't want to step all over other people in order to do so.  I have students who really do want to learn, and who do everything they can in order to do so.  And my wife works with even younger kids--the twins she nannies will be four in a couple of months.  She told me that today, the girl asked her to help her write a Christmas card for her parents.  And without any prompting, this is what she told my wife she wanted to write to her mom:  "Thank you so much for always taking care of us," and she wanted to say the same thing to her dad, but adding:  "and always being there when mommy is away."  The fact that a four-year-old can think that way fills me with not just admiration, but also hope--there have to be more kids just like her in the world, and one day I hope that they're in charge.  And then things will be much, much better than they are now.

A Break--A Paragraph a Day

Finally, Christmas break is here.  For most non-teachers, I'm sure this break that we get for Christmas--as well as the more significant break that we get in the summer--seems to be a bit excessive.  After all, we get more than a week off (at this school--other places get two weeks, and colleges get up to four!), which is something that most other people don't get unless they take vacation.  But for me, this vacation is an absolutely necessary element of teaching, and one that if they took it away, I probably wouldn't be able to teach any more.  I suppose this is one way that relativity is obvious--the level of exhaustion that people experience in their jobs is relative--I've had jobs that don't take nearly as much out of me as teaching does, and I haven't really felt any need at all for vacations.  As a high school teacher, though, my levels of exhaustion are much, much higher.  And as I imagine things, my level of exhaustion isn't anywhere near the level that an elementary school teacher reaches constantly, being the main teacher and caretaker for up to 30 or 40 very young children all day, every day.  I love the breaks I get, though, and for the next ten days or so I'm going to do everything I can to relax and recover so that when we start back up, I'll be ready to go until the next break, giving all that I can to try to help a bunch of young people learn certain things that they're supposed to learn.  If I make the most of a break, then I'm helping out the people I'll be in direct contact with after the break, for I'll be much more effective then.  If I didn't get the break, my effectiveness would continue to diminish until it eventually would simply disappear.  So the next time you get a break, don't feel guilty about it, but make sure that you take the time to rest and recover, for the people you deal with after you're back from your break will much appreciate the fact that you've rested and helped yourself to become more patient, more compassionate, and more effective.

Amazing Gifts--A Paragraph a Day

I got a great birthday present today.  It's a giraffe that's made out of beads.  It's about seven inches tall, and when you press the button below the base that it's standing on, it kind of collapses until you let go of the button, and which point it stands up straight once again.  It's special because it was given to my by a pair of twins who aren't even four years old yet, but who found it in their hearts to send a gift home for me with my wife, who works with them during the day.  I've met them a couple of times, and even helped my wife babysit them once, but I never expected that at their age, they would be interested in sending me a birthday present--and even give up one of their own possessions to do so.  It's kind of overwhelming in a way, but in a very, very good way.  They're very kind little kids, and it gives me a lot of hope to see two kids so young thinking about giving something to someone else instead of keeping it themselves.  They gave me something straight from their hearts, and it definitely touches me deeply in my own heart.  Perhaps this is what people mean when they say "heart to heart"?  I'm not sure of the original meaning of the expression, but it certainly works here.  And the only appropriate response to such an amazing display of generosity is gratitude, mixed with more than a bit of happiness when two very little kids find someone to be so important to them that they're willing to sacrifice their attachment to a special toy of this and pass it long to someone like me.  Two less-than-four-year-olds made my whole birthday brighter with something straight from their hearts, and I would be hard-hearted indeed not to acknowledge just how special that is!

What Does Christmas "Spirit" Mean?--A Paragraph a Day

I love the idea of Christmas Spirit, but I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what the term actually means.  It's probably one of those things for which we have the standard kind of answer--"it means something different for everyone"--but it would be nice if we could define it and understand it clearly.  Not because I'm the type of person who needs and wants to have everything catalogued and defined according to a certain set of criteria, but because it seems to be such a positive concept, one that can bring us true joy if we knew how to access it, or harness it, or adopt it.  After all, the Spirit of Christmas would have to include a love of giving, and it would have to include a love for virtually everyone.  It would exclude everything like greed and selfishness, and it wouldn't have anything to do with judgment or bias.  I think that if I want to go out and model the Spirit of Christmas, I would have kind words for everyone I met, and I would be as generous as I possibly could be, given my means.  I wouldn't treat others with harshness, and I wouldn't make them feel that I didn't approve of them for any reason.  If I were to model Christmas Spirit, I would listen carefully when others talked, and I would encourage them as much as I could.  I would be inclusive rather than exclusive, encouraging rather than discouraging, and loving rather than hateful.  I would show gratitude often, and I would take gracefully from those who wished to give to me, while giving wholeheartedly to those who were willing to take from me.  The Christmas Spirit is a spirit that we can adopt for every day of our lives if we choose to do so, and I hope that one day, I'll regularly be treating others as kindly in May or August as I do in December.  The Spirit I share is my choice, after all, and I'd like it to be a caring, loving, compassionate spirit all the time.

Too Much--A Paragraph a Day

Some of my students today told me that another teacher of theirs had assigned them to read a rather long novel over the Christmas break and to write a letter based on that book.  I told them in all seriousness that they should ask that teacher if he understands what "break" means.  We take breaks for a reason, because we're tired and we need to renew and rejuvenate ourselves.  I've known far too many teachers over the years, though, who really have no respect for students' need to actually take a break from school and to be able to spend some time not worrying about assignments or readings or anything school related.  The Christmas break is the perfect time to allow students to unwind and to allow the material we've covered all fall to sink in, to allow their minds to process things that need to be processed without placing any more academic demands on them.  I never have any guilt taking a break, because I know that in the long run, my breaks are going to be make me far more capable of accomplishing what I need to accomplish than working myself to exhaustion or frustration would make me.  I feel very bad for the students, and I also feel bad for people who will never take breaks from their jobs or their families or other obligations.  Rest is sometimes much more useful in many ways than continued effort is, and once we learn this lesson,  we can make our lives more restful AND more productive, and I hope to never deprive myself of rest when it's genuinely needed.

Being an Observer--A Paragraph a Day

The next week or so promises to be rather challenging for many people who live in countries where they celebrate Christmas.  After all, there are tons of parties and get-togethers and secret Santas and gifts to buy and people to visit and foods to eat and expectations and hopes that all seem to come together in the week before Christmas.  One of the things that I do to cope with the extra stress of the next couple of weeks is to take a step back and doing my best to become an observer, someone who watches everything happen but who makes no judgments and who doesn't take anything that happens personally.  A crummy gift from that person?  Interesting, but no big deal.  Completely forgotten by that other person?  That is interesting, but what can I learn from it?  When we observe, we learn.  We listen carefully and closely to other people instead of focusing on speaking.  We see other people's fears and triumphs and nervousness and actions, and we learn a lot about who those people are by seeing what they do at Christmas time.  I think we have too many judges around the holidays, anyway--no one needs me to be another judge of who they are and what they do.  When I observe, I can notice who needs help and offer it.  I can see who's being neglected and possibly put a candy bar on their desk.  I can see who's feeling overwhelmed and spend a few minutes talking to them so that they can vent and put their feelings into words, and possibly deal with things better then.  I do participate in Christmas--it's not like I pull myself out of it completely.  But I don't get caught up in the drama or the conflict or some of the other silliness.  Rather, I do my best to try to see what I can so that I can do what I can to contribute to making the season more bearable for those people who may be having a hard time.  This way, I just may be able to contribute something other than just presents and egg nog and cookies.

Christmas--A Paragraph a Day

Every year I have to ask myself why I like Christmas so much, and I never come up with a satisfactory answer.  It isn't for religious reasons, because the holiday really has gone far past its religious roots, and if my focus were on religion, I'd probably dislike the holiday more than I like it.  It isn't for the gift-giving, because that seems to have gone over the top for most people, becoming more like a competition to give the best gift or a way to buy other people's love and affection.  I think that the bottom line for me is that it's a season when so many people are thinking of others more than they're thinking of themselves.  Our focus shifts from inward (which is very often very positive) to outward, and we're more concerned with the other people in our lives than we are in ourselves.  In my family this was rarely the case--we spent most of our holidays hoping that dad wouldn't go out drinking on the 23rd and not come home until the 26th or 27th.  Our holiday thoughts weren't on what we could do for others, but what we hoped wouldn't happen to us.  Since then, though, I've come to see Christmas more as Scrooge's nephew sees it in a book that I read every Christmas, starting on my birthday on the 20th:  "I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round—apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that—as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"  I think that Dickens definitely hit the nail on the head there, and I know that I will always love Christmas for just that reason.  Here's hoping that your Christmas, too, is a wonderful one!

Enough is Enough--A Paragraph a Day

To know when you have enough is to be rich.    -Lao-tzu

I've been reading a bit about wealth and materialism and happiness recently, and I think that most of the many words that I read could be summed up in these ten words from Lao-Tzu.  Really, enough is enough, and most of us are convinced somehow that we never really do have enough, and that we always need more.  That's not true, though--outside of food to eat, shelter from the elements, and clothing, none of us truly need all that much.  Most of us who are privileged enough to be accessing the Internet with a computer or phone already have much more than enough, yet we continue to convince ourselves that we need more somehow, some way.  If I want to be truly rich, though, I don't need to have more money or more material possessions; rather, I simply need to be satisfied with what's already in my life.  I have enough clothes, I have enough food, I have more than sufficient shelter.  I have more books than I need, more computers than I need, more furniture than I need--this list is pretty long.  So when all is said and done, I'm extremely wealthy, aren't I?  I know that I'm much wealthier than probably 90% of the people who have ever lived on this planet, so why don't I consider myself wealthy?  Perhaps because my society tells me in many ways that if I truly want to consider myself wealthy, I need to have more possessions, and more expensive possessions.  I don't buy that, though, so society be damned--I'm very wealthy, and I'm very appreciative of the wealth that I possess.  Enough is enough, and I definitely have more than enough.

No Run Today--A Paragraph a Day

When I looked out the window at work a little bit before I came home, I saw snow falling sideways--the wind was strong enough to blow it parallel to the ground.  And I realized that today wasn't a day for a run, for even though I do like running in snow, the wind makes a huge difference in the quality of a run.  And I figure now that since I wrote yesterday about running on a cold day, it might be a good idea today to write about not running on a cold day that goes past cold into bitter.  I've learned that much of what it means to live life fully has to do with discernment, with choosing the right times to do things, but also choosing the right times not to do things.  I would have loved to have run today, but some days are for rest, not for workouts.  I know too many people who don't understand that idea, or who choose to ignore it, and they run themselves into the ground because they don't give themselves rests, especially on days when it may not be just unpleasant to go out and do something, but may also be somewhat dangerous.  After all, our body temperatures do go down when it's cold outside, but they go down even more when it's cold and windy.  And while I love to run in the cold, I don't have any superpower that I know of that allows me to deal with a seriously low body temperature--sometimes our decisions need to be driven more by logic that tells us that something isn't safe than by emotion telling us we want to do something.  Hypothermia isn't pleasant and is potentially dangerous, so my goal for today is to be safe, and I think that the best thing that I can do is to avoid running.  Some days are just that way, and it's not a sign of weakness to decide not to do something like running on a day that's obviously bad for it--it's rather a sign of respect for ourselves and our bodies to recognize that conditions are far from ideal to do something, so the best thing that we can do is to decide not to do that something, just for now.

A Run in the Cold--A Paragraph a Day

I went for a run after work today, even though the temperature was only about 37 degrees.  That was fine with me, though--with long sleeves and running pants and a nice warm hat, I practically didn't notice the temperature at all.  That's the way it usually is with a run after work on days like this--I don't feel like going outside because it's cold and my home is nice and warm and cozy, but I force myself to do so anyway.  And once I get out there, I enjoy it a lot.  Some of the best runs of my life have come on days when I would have preferred not to run at all due to weather conditions.  But I've run anyway, and it's been great.  It often makes me wonder what else in my life I might have been avoiding, and that I might have missed because it seemed like it might be unpleasant.  It's so easy for us to slip into comfort mode, to look around ourselves and say, "This is nice right here and right now--there's no need to do anything else."  The thing is, though, that running is the activity that most contributes to my good health, and if I don't do it, I gain weight and I lose fitness.  I'm not a fanatic about fitness, but I do want to stay healthy, and running is an important part of that.  What else could I be enjoying in life because I think it might be a bit unpleasant?  What am I avoiding that I should be searching out and enjoying?  I'm definitely not always the best judge of what's best for me, and it may be worth my while to start paying attention to things that I'm avoiding for some reason.  Who knows?  There's a chance that what I'm avoiding could be just what I need!  The run in the cold today was very enjoyable, even though it seemed that it wouldn't be.  What else is tricking me?

Children Inside--A Paragraph a Day

The most sophisticated people I know--inside they are all children.   -Jim Henson


It always astonishes me to see just how much we tend to value the things of adulthood and just how little we tend to value the things of childhood.  In my mind and in my heart, the things of childhood seem to be much more authentic, much more kind, much more interested in the world, much more human.  As adults we start to judge and to demand and to expect.  As children, we tend to wonder, to appreciate, to love, to hope.  We allow our minds to fly as we give ourselves wings to think of things that aren't necessarily important to anyone else, while as adults we think in the ways we're "supposed" to think, and we allow our perspectives to be overwhelmed by the demands of society.  While being a child isn't necessarily something that we all want to do, I do find it a shame that we for some reason reject out of hand all the things of childhood when so many of those things could make for a very happy adulthood if we could only hold on to them.  I love feeling a sense of wonder when the snow is falling, and I love looking at a new person with no judgment at all--just the simple acceptance of another human being who is in my life.  We can all be children inside if we don't simply reject the things of childhood, and if we allow them to be an important part of who we are--and if we do so, our lives will be richer and more fulfilling.

Taking a Rest--A Paragraph a Day

One of the things that I like best in this world is a day when I don't have tons of obligations, when I can look at the weather report and see that we're supposed to be hit with a severe rainstorm that's going to last all day, and I can say to myself, "It's a rest day."  A day with heavy rain doesn't allow for many of the chores and tasks that I normally do around the house, so when it happens, I try to take advantage of the weather and do as little as I can on that day--and it's wonderful when it happens on a weekend.  After all, I spend the whole week working, and my normal tendency over the weekend is to get some work done here, stuff that I can't do during the week because I'm busy at work.  I don't feel that I overwork myself, because I actually enjoy doing many of the chores that I do around the house, but it is nice when nature tells me on a given day that I'm not going to be doing any tasks at all.  Of course, the temptation to do work online then comes up, but I've gotten pretty good at rejecting that sort of thing in favor of a nice nap or some time reading.  We all need rest--that's a given in life, non-negotiable--but many of us are reticent to take the rests when we have the opportunity to do so because we feel somehow guilty, like for some reason we should be doing some work on Saturday or Sunday afternoon simply because.  So I do my best to force myself to rest, to reject the temptation to do some online work in favor of lying down on the couch to nap for half an hour or so.  When we have the chance to rest, we should take it whenever it rears its head--otherwise we risk burning out, and then we won't be helpful to anyone at all in any way at all.

Three and a Half--A Paragraph a Day

I had a wonderful opportunity last night:  my wife and I babysat for two little kids, twins, who are three and a half years old.  My wife knows them very well, as she nannies for them three times a week, but I had met them only twice in passing, so I didn't know them as well.  But for me, the chance to spend a few hours with a couple of little kids is always a wonderful opportunity.  And we did have a wonderful time.  We played hide-and-seek, we drew pictures, we ate dinner, we talked, my wife and I read to them--it was simply a great time.  Tiring, a bit, but great.  Little kids, if we treat them well, have so much to teach us.  They enjoy life for exactly what it is, they show their joy, they express themselves honestly (such as at bedtime, when the girl wanted her mommy because she wasn't used to going to bed without her mother around).  Her crying didn't last long, though, because she found something better to do--reading to her dolls in bed, until she fell asleep.  To me, time spent with little ones is always a blessing, especially when they're really nice little kids (and most are) as these were.  I read to the boy until he couldn't hold his head up any longer, then my wife carried him to bed, where he crashed.  If you ever want to reset things, to see the world in a different way, to feel more of the love of and passion for life, do yourself a favor and spend a little time with a very little kid, and don't try to order the kid around--let them be who they are, and learn from who they are rather than trying to make them learn what you think they should learn.

Youthful Decisions--A Paragraph a Day

Working with young people, I'm constantly faced with certain frustrations.  If I could teach them anything that I think might help them to lead happy and fulfilling lives, high on my list would be the art of decision-making.  What I see in the kids of today is often an inability to make decisions that will prove to be helpful to them, or positive for them.  Of course, there have been kids making bad decisions for all of history--they're still young and they usually don't have the experience behind them that would help them to understand how to weigh their options before making important decisions.  In fact, they often don't have the experience necessary to even understand or recognize their options.  If they've had good teachers in their lives, they're usually a bit better prepared for decision-making, but it seems that these days they have less positive adult input in their lives than they used to.  This lack of connection with older people who could be passing on their knowledge and wisdom is a great detriment to the young people, who tend to get most of their "learning" from screens these days.  Unfortunately, the screens can't help them when some sort of dilemma arises, and the lack of previous learning from the people who used to be role models often keeps them from making decisions that are positive and helpful to them in their lives.  I do my best at school to teach them how to look at things in ways that will help them to make good decisions, but the deck seems to be stacked against them in many ways.  So if you see any young people who seem to be making really bad decisions, don't be too upset with them.  Rather, it may do them--and you--a great deal of good to try to help them to understand the importance of decision-making, and help them to develop a process of their own to come to decisions that will help them to build their lives rather than sabotage them.

What Came before--A Paragraph a Day

I'm teaching Spanish now, and unfortunately, many of the students have a very difficult time of learning the language.  One of my classes is Spanish 3, and one of the things that I find out rather consistently is who the students had for their Spanish 1 teacher.  Many of the students took Spanish in middle school, and many of them had a certain teacher who I know demands almost nothing of his kids in class.  His own Spanish is rather mediocre, and he's happy just to throw a worksheet or two at the kids to keep them busy for the time they happen to be in his classroom.  And I get them in my classes later, in high school, only to find that they're sorely lacking in the knowledge and skills that they really should have if they want to study Spanish 3.  I have to be lenient, though, because I know that their learning was sabotaged by a teacher who didn't challenge them or guide them through the process of learning the early steps of this particular language.  And I try to remember that I could apply this approach to almost everyone in every situation--someone could be bad at relationships because of what came before; someone else could constantly say inappropriate or insensitive or even rude things because of what came before, another person could be afraid of taking risks or taking on challenges because of what came before.  If I maintain my sensitivity and compassion, I can refrain from judging people harshly because I usually have no idea what came before, and my harsh judgment now may end up being "what came before" later, when they would be much better off having memories of my helpfulness and encouragement, and my efforts to help them to learn and perhaps even make up for some of the time they lost with what came before.

Intentions--A Paragraph a Day

Christmas is a good time for me to reflect on intention--why do I want to do the things I want to do during the holiday season?  I want to give certain gifts to certain people, of course, but is that because I care for them and want to do something nice for them, or because I want to be thanked or seen in a different light by the recipient or other people who know I've given the gift?  My wife and I regularly buy gifts for families that have signed up with organizations that help to match gift donors with needy families, and it's important to ask ourselves if we're doing that because we want to feel better about ourselves, or because we want to provide a few nice Christmas gifts to some kids who otherwise might not get anything?  Of course, the answer is pretty much always the latter, but I think it is worthwhile to at least ask ourselves the question about our motivation so that we can be sure that we're doing things for the right reason.  When talking about getting gifts for kids who may not get anything otherwise, I'm sure that even if there are some selfish motives, the fact that the gifts are being given makes it a good thing anyway, so there's no problem even if the motive isn't simply giving.  But if we get into giving to make ourselves feel better or to impress other people, then it's pretty sure that we're in for some sort of disappointment because people generally don't act in the ways we want or expect them to act.  My main goal, though, is to make sure that I can feel a clear conscience when I know that my desire to give gifts isn't at all motivated by what I may get back in return, and that I can completely forget the fact that we gave what we gave, knowing that it's now in the hands of the person or people it was meant to be in.

Getting Ready for the Holidays--A Paragraph a Day

One thing that I've learned over the years is that it's necessary for me to do things early during the holiday season if I'm going to enjoy the season for all that it's worth.  I have to get gifts early, I have to get them wrapped, and I have to get the gifts and the cards mailed very early.  What I've learned is that it's much nicer to sacrifice some time in early December than it is to be stressed out near Christmas.  It's one of those trade-offs that is more than worth it--I lose a few hours of what could be productive or restful time early in the month, but when Christmas does show up, I'm done with all that I need to do, and I can relax and enjoy sitting around and drinking egg nog and reading A Christmas Carol.  I don't have to worry about gifts or deadlines or stores that are out of what I need.  I don't have to do any last-minute shopping, and I can help others with things that they may need to have done.  Sometimes life becomes easier when we're willing to sacrifice something today to make for a better tomorrow.  One of the times that I've found illustrates this point very well is the Christmas season.  If I'm willing to spend some time early in the month making the lists I need to make and doing what the lists ask me to do, then I can have a holiday that's relaxing and stress-free, and surprisingly enjoyable!  I'm not extremely good at it yet, but I'm working on it--the holiday season gets less and less stressful each year that it comes, because I'm getting better at meeting it on my terms, and taking care of things earlier rather than later.

Heart or Brain?--A Paragraph a Day

Sometimes I think too much with my brain, and not enough with my heart.  Actually, I take that back--it's not sometimes.  Almost always, I think too much with my brain, and not enough with my heart.  I try to approach things logically, I try to figure things out, I try to come up with solutions.  I'm not as bad as it as I used to be--as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I grew up with some pretty extreme issues concerning control of situations--but I still do it far more than I'd like, or even than I'd like to admit.  I've grown up trusting my brain to work its way through virtually everything, rather than allowing my heart to let me know that some things are just fine the way they are, and I don't need to spend any effort trying to "fix" them.  My heart accepts others more quickly and more fully than my brain does, and it appreciates some of the blessings of my life more fully than my brain does.  My brain likes to find fault with things, and it likes to find ways to improve them; my heart accepts and appreciates things as they are, and it allows them to be just what they are without change, and it helps me to show that appreciation and love much more than my brain does.  I know that people in my life have been affected by me in many more positive ways when I've been following my heart rather than my brain, and one thing I truly want to keep doing is raising the percentage of time I allow my heart to be the dominant force in my life rather than my brain.  I'm a more caring and compassionate person when I do so.

Rainy Days--A Paragraph a Day

It's raining outside right now, and I love it.  I don't really feel a need or desire to go anywhere or do anything, so it's nice just to sit here on the couch and relax and write a few words.  The darkness outside makes the atmosphere in here more intimate, more welcoming, more comfortable, and I try to take advantage of that feeling by pulling a throw over me and doing something like this that doesn't require any physical output from me.  It's nice to rest, especially when the world outside is telling me that it's a good time to rest.  It makes it easier to do, and easier to enjoy.  I've always loved rainy days--sometimes I go running in the rain, sometimes I go for a walk, and sometimes I just sit inside and enjoy the coziness of being warm and dry while the weather is dark and cold.  I find that I'm often much more creative when the weather changes regularly--I've lived in places where it's been sunny for weeks at a time, and in those places I never really feel the creativity well up in me as it does in places like this.  Perhaps it's just my body going with the flow of the weather, with its ups and downs and highs and lows.  I feel very privileged to be able to spend rainy days inside a warm and dry home, and I hope to keep appreciating them for as long as I possibly can while I'm still here in this body on this planet.

Not a Judge--A Paragraph a Day

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.
-Jon Kabat-Zinn

I would truly like to think that I'm not judgmental, but my experience tells me otherwise.  I judge constantly, because that's the way I was brought up, and it's an ingrained habit that happens before I even think of the thing I'm judging.  If someone cuts me off in traffic, I'm likely to mutter something like "idiot" before I even think about what happened.  What I've learned over time, though, is that for some reason, that's my conditioned response--but it doesn't have to be my ultimate response.  As time goes on I've found that my conditioned responses weaken, and some of them don't happen any more if I've made an effort to not let them dominate.  But for those that do happen, I do my best to follow them up with another, conscious response as soon as I've had just a second or two to think about things:  I tell myself, "That person's probably not an idiot, and they might have cut me off by accident."  "What a jerk!" I think if someone's rude to me, but then my immediate second thought is something like, "I wonder what causes that person to be so rude/angry/sensitive."  The truth is that if I don't know the whole story of why someone does something, then any judgment that I make is based on inadequate information, and isn't valid at all.  If I want to be mindful, then I must do my best to be nonjudgmental--and if I do show myself to be judgmental, then I need to follow that reaction with a more accurate and kind reaction as soon as I can.

Introspection--A Paragraph a Day

The philosophies of the wisest people that ever existed are mainly derived
from the act of introspection.    -William Godwin

This quotation is rather hard to accept, to be honest.  After all, most of us see wisdom as something that we gain from other people who have lived longer than us, or who have had more varied experiences than us.  But what William is saying is that our wisdom comes from inside of us, not from outside.  It comes from turning our thoughts and attention inwards and finding out just what we know in life, just what we've learned from life.  It comes from our own experiences and our own thoughts about those experiences.  We've learned in life, to be sure, but how often are we willing to pay attention to that voice inside of us that tells us what we know rather than picking up a book and finding out what someone else knows?  I think that we convince ourselves that it's necessary to be humble, that if we trust ourselves to teach ourselves wisdom, we'll be arrogant somehow.  But perhaps we're wrong--perhaps turning inside and trusting ourselves isn't arrogance at all, but the most important thing we can do.  Perhaps we're more aware than we give ourselves credit for, and perhaps we've learned much, much more than we think we have.  I'm doing my best to try to trust myself for insight and wisdom, for I know that I'm a fairly smart person and I've had a lot of experiences that should have taught me many wonderful, valuable lessons.  When I'm able to turn those lessons into a wisdom that can help me and help others, then I think I'll truly be on the right road.  Where that road leads, who knows?  But I would like to be on it.

View from the Sidelines--A Paragraph a Day

Since I teach high school, I get a very close look at just how students are doing these days.  I became a teacher because I wanted to contribute to the lives of young people, in however limited a way, but I find that no matter how my contribution may grow, it continues to become less and less of a help to the young people with whom I work.  To put it in arbitrary number terms, for example, twenty years ago I might have been able to teach students twenty percent of what they needed to know about their studies.  Unfortunately, though, their needs are rising significantly and quickly, so even if I were to double what I give to students (a feat that isn't possible), I would still be giving them perhaps only ten percent of what they need.  What I mean by "what they need" includes critical thinking skills, basic grammar skills, communication skills, writing skills, reading skills, math skills, and so much more.  Students used to be much better prepared to learn some years ago, but our digital age has produced so many young people who can't even tell time on a regular clock, who can't read cursive, who can't write a single sentence without significant errors, and who can't turn off their phones for even ten minutes, for the most part.  There are, of course, exceptions, but most of my students are poorly prepared device addicts who have been sabotaged by a lack of focus in school, a lack of rigor, and a lack of discipline.  My heart goes out to them even as I try to teach them when they don't even have the most basic of learning or study skills.  I try to teach those to the students, but time is our enemy, not our ally.  For their sake, I sincerely hope that something that we do in school sticks with them so that they're prepared for success in their future.

Low-Energy Days--A Paragraph a Day

Some days just aren't our best days, are they?  One of my biggest difficulties in life is recognizing such days and letting them be what they are instead of continuing to try to fight against them and accomplish things that I'm simply not able to accomplish on such days.  This is by no means a defeatist attitude, as many self-help people might want you to believe.  Rather, it's a perspective that is very similar to the attitude that Longfellow showed over 200 years ago when he wrote, "Some days must be dreary."  I don't know why some people try to convince us that we should always be up, that we should always have a smile on our faces, that we should always be charging ahead and accomplishing something.  Just as I'm not going to be running a marathon if I have a broken leg, I'm not going to try to act cheerful and bright on a day when I don't feel that way.  And sure, I know the theory about "fake it 'til you make it," but I'm pretty sure that we don't always have to be making things.  Some days are meant for staying inside, resting, reading something we like, drinking coffee and eating pie.  Not every day is going to be high-energy and full of accomplishment, and it's important that we listen to our bodies and our spirits when they tell us they need a day for recharging, for just being.  There's nothing wrong with a dreary day, and they can be just as enjoyable as any other day if we accept them and let them be what they are.

The Rainy Day

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Greed--A Paragraph a Day

We live in a world that has many greedy people in it, don't we?  We're surrounded by people who are willing to harm other people to get ahead themselves, who are willing to break laws and rules in order to attain things that they feel they should have.  Of course, not everyone is greedy (or we all are to a certain extent, but not greatly so), but there are enough greedy people around to have pushed our planet to a point at which we're facing disastrous climate change and unsustainable economic disparities such as the wealth gap that keeps the poor, poor and the rich, rich.  While I don't like to focus on negatives, greed is simply a reality of our world, and ignoring it or pretending it doesn't exist doesn't do us a bit of good.  Rather, we must be aware of it and its effects on us, so that we can deal with it directly when we need to.  Greed is certainly understandable at some levels--we do need to support our families, right?  So breaking this particular law isn't that big of a deal if my return is enough money to pay for something for my kids.  And I don't want to give to a cause that's important because I may need that money next week, or next month.  When faced with greed, there's really only one path for me to take, and that's to make sure that I don't allow greed ever to control my words or actions, that I don't allow my fear of not having something turn me into someone whose greed is one of the defining features of my life, for I would hate to think of reaching the end of my life and look back and realize that greed was one of my major driving and motivating forces.  For those forces, I would much rather see things like, maybe, kindness and compassion.  Greed isn't something that I'll feel proud of.

A Power We Have--A Paragraph a Day

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.   -Leo Buscaglia


Just a compliment or a kind word--can we really change the world that easily?  Of course we can.  Our lives are intersecting constantly with those of other human beings, and if we want to put more positivity in the world, we always have the opportunity to give something positive to someone else, to share something simple like a kind word that will help them to see the world in more positive ways, to feel better about life and about themselves.  We do have a lot of power to make things better for someone else--no matter how simply we do it or how insignificant it may seem--yet we tend not to take advantage of the chances that we have.  Personally, I know that I don't share those kind touches or those listening ears nearly as often as I could or should, but I do keep on trying.  One of these days I hope to be giving in this way constantly, but until then, I'm going to try to keep reminding myself how important it is and how easy it is to contribute something positive and uplifting to other people in my life.

Sometimes Life Just. . . . --A Paragraph a Day

My wife and I were able to attend a wonderful concert last night in Canada, by an artist I had never even heard of until Tuesday, when I was listening to some music by a Quebecois group on YouTube.  Another artist came up as a suggestion, and I listened to a couple of her songs--they were wonderful.  So I made up my mind to look up some more of her music when I could, and went on doing other things.  Then we went to Magog, where we try to spend a weekend or two every year that we're near enough to do so, and as we were walking downtown we passed a concert venue.  I looked at the schedule and saw a picture of Ingrid St. Pierre, the singer I had heard.  I said to my wife, "Wow, it's too bad we're going to miss her," and then I looked at the date--she was playing there the following night, our second night in town.  Even though my French is quite poor and my wife speaks none, we decided to go see her--after all, what are the odds of "discovering" a singer on Tuesday and getting a chance to see her on Saturday?  We went, and we were treated to almost 90 minutes of wonderful music--she's a great pianist and singer, and her lyrics are not your standard pop fare--she sings with depth and with feeling, and it was easily one of the best concerts I've ever seen.  And since the show last night, I have to wonder at life--how did it allow me to hear her music for the very first time on Tuesday, when I was going to be staying in a bed and breakfast less than two blocks away from her next concert, in a completely different country, just a few days later?  Life fascinates me when it does things like that, but I know that I also have to give to it--I have to explore new music, I have to put myself in situations in which things like this can happen, and I have to be willing to spend the money to see a show in a language I understand poorly if I'm to get the benefit of life pushing me in this particular direction.

And if you ever get the chance to see Ingrid St. Pierre (if you're in Quebec), don't worry about any language barriers--she's a wonderful performer!

Spending Money--A Paragraph a Day

I've always had problems spending money on myself.  It probably comes from the fact that when I was a kid, we almost never had any money in our family due to the fact that my dad would drink away so many of his paychecks as soon as he got them.  It was only as an adult that I started to realize that it wasn't at all normal for a family never to have any money to do things like take vacations or do special things like go to concerts or sporting events--or even movies, for that matter.  So I've brought into adulthood a tendency to not want to spend money on myself because it's somehow "irresponsible."  After all, what happens if I spend all this money on something and then we need the money desperately tomorrow?  But this feeling goes contrary to the purpose of money in the first place--money is meant to be spent, meant to circulate.  When my wife and I come to a nice town and stay in a bed and breakfast for a nice weekend retreat, we're not just spending money to spoil ourselves.  We're actually contributing, in a small way, to the family who own the bed and breakfast, and the family here has two wonderful daughters who are about five and seven years old--so our money is helping their parents to help them grow and develop and become adults eventually.  If we had stayed at home, the money that we're spending here never would have been shared.  We would have a bit more money in the bank, but the money in the bank does no one any good, does it?  I would much rather enjoy my two nights here and hand the money over to the owners so that they can use it to support their livelihood--to pay the mortgage and the taxes and the electric bills and everything else that they need to do to provide a safe and comfortable home for their kids.  I need to stop feeling guilty about spending money, and as long as I'm spending it wisely and usefully, there's absolutely nothing at all wrong with spending it.

What We're Leaving--A Paragraph a Day

As a teacher of high school students, it gets rather difficult to stand in front of the class and realize that the world that my generation has created--or has allowed to develop--is not a very positive world at all.  And of course, that's not my fault, but I can't help but feel a twinge or three of guilt for the messed-up world that we're leaving our younger generations.  I tell them that, too, in no uncertain terms, and I apologize for it, though my apologies won't help them a bit when they as a people are trying to deal with climate change, wealth gaps, unequal wealth distribution, lack of medical insurance for millions of people, etc., etc., etc.  Yes, there are some wonderful things that we'll be leaving behind when we're dead and gone, but it makes no sense to try to fool ourselves or anyone else--we've made a pretty nasty mess of this planet due to the greed and avarice of a select few, and they deserve better.  Personally, since I'm not a person in the public eye with great influence over anyone at all, I do my best in my limited corner of the world to give all that I can to my students to help them deal with adversity and challenges, but I can have no idea at all if my contribution will have any positive effect at all.  I feel awful about the world that they're inheriting, but as I work with them and see the enthusiasm and hope and willingness to work of so many young people, I do feel some hope for the future that I'm never going to see--or at least, that I'll never see with the eyes of this particular body.  I hope and pray that they're able to overcome the many obstacles that we've created for them, and I do my best not to add to the problems they'll have to deal with.  I'm very sorry for the mess we'll be leaving, and I hope that they're able to prove in many ways that they're better than we have been.

Karma? I Don't Want to Think about It--A Paragraph a Day

I believe in Karma to a certain extent--I'm not sure that I believe in it as many people define it, but I do believe that there is reward for people who consistently do good and act kind and give instead of take all the time.  I just don't want to think about it.  If I think about Karma, it seems to me, then I'm going to be committing acts of goodness only in order to be rewarded for them.  I'm going to help other people just in the hopes of the universe passing something good to me in return for my actions.  But I don't want to be thinking about my rewards when I perform an action that I think is good.  Rather, I want to commit such an act because I know that I'm doing something for someone who needs it.  I want to give knowing that I'm fulfilling a need, not because I'm hoping for some sort of return on my investment.  I don't want to be wondering constantly where my reward is--I simply want to do good things for other people because they're the right things to do.  I want to give because it's right to give; I want to share because I truly want to help someone else who needs for someone to share with them.  Yes, I love the concept of Karma, but I hope never to think of it as motivation for being kind or helpful or loving.  If it affects me, then fine, but if it doesn't, I'll still be okay because I know that when I saw a need, I did what I could to fill it, reward or no, promise or no.

Nature's Lessons--A Paragraph a Day

 Nature always takes her time.  Great oaks don't become great overnight.  They also lose a lot of leaves, branches, and bark in the process of becoming great.    -Andrew Matthews


Many of the quotations and passages that I read about nature have a similar focus--nature does things as nature does things, and things turn out as they're supposed to.  And in the process, things of nature go through some rather difficult challenges and trials.  But in theory, they always end up where they're supposed to.  In my life, I've lost my share of branches and leaves and bark, but I'm okay.  I'm doing work that's fulfilling and I'm in a relationship that's very healthy.  I live in a home that I love and I have enough to eat, to wear, and to share, and even a lot of excess stuff that I don't really need, but that I do appreciate a lot.  If I had given up at the first sign of adversity, if I had become discouraged by the first autumn's loss of all my leaves, if I had found the loss of some branches and bark to be unbearable, I never would have made it to where I am.  And if this metaphor from nature is valid for me and can be applied to my life and experiences, it's important that I look for other lessons that nature can teach me.  I may not be a great oak one day, but how about a really nice cypress, or a pear tree that bears fruit to share with people and animals?  I am going to face obstacles and difficulties, but it's important that I look past them to what I am to become, instead of just what I happen to be today.

They Like to Be Challenged--A Paragraph a Day

Teaching is a particularly frustrating art, mostly because it's so often impossible to choose who your students are.  So many young people these days are being raised to shy away from challenges that it can be very frustrating to try to teach them in a classroom, because they don't respond well at all to being asked to better themselves, to learn more, to improve their skills.  But what I find to be a pretty common phenomenon is that once I do start to challenge them, once I do start to ask them to be better than they were yesterday, they respond quite well--most students really want to get better, and they're simply hoping that someone will help them to improve their skills and knowledge.  I know a lot of teachers who really never ask young people to do any difficult work, thus dooming them to stay at their current level.  But when we ask them to stretch their limits and offer them a safe place to do so--free from ridicule and mocking--they find within themselves the resources they need to get better at what they do, to improve both their knowledge and their skills.  If we want people to be better, Goethe said, we have to treat them as if they already are the people they have the potential to be, rather than dooming them to mediocrity by only expecting them to perform at levels that they've already reached.

Grown-Up? No, thanks!--A Paragraph a Day

Too many people grow up.  That's the real trouble with the world--
too many people grow up.  They forget. They don't remember
what it's like to be 12 years old.  They patronize, they treat
children as inferiors.  Well I won't do that.   -Walt Disney

Sometimes it seems that growing up makes us into pretty unpleasant people.  We lose so much of the wonder and charm that we had as children, and it seems like the worst part is that that's how we want things to be.  We're satisfied with becoming unimaginative, uncreative, and even a little boring--or a lot boring.  Personally, I hope that I never fully grow up, and I do my best every day to make sure that I see what's around me with eyes that aren't jaded or bored.  And when I'm around children, I refuse to talk down to them.  I try to talk to them as people--little people, of course, but people nonetheless.  If I do that, then I'm not condescending to them, and they greatly appreciate knowing an adult who doesn't talk to them like they're somehow inferior just because they're younger.  So if I don't grow up into a so-called adult, I can continue to relate to children in positive ways,  Hopefully I'll get plenty of chances to do so, so that I can do my best to encourage some young people by recognizing them in the space where they are and encouraging them to do the things that they really want to do.  Perhaps if this happens, I won't turn into one of the people about whom Walt is talking--the people who forget and who treat children poorly.  I want to be a person who doesn't grow up into what our culture defines as a "grown-up," and who doesn't patronize and treat kids as inferiors.  So here's to hoping that I live up to this dream and stay a person who loves kids and who treats them well, because they certainly deserve for me to do so.

Not Teaching Skills--A Paragraph a Day

One of the things that constantly amazes me in school these days when I'm teaching is the extremely low number of students who take notes.  It's like it's a skill that's completely died, and that obviously isn't being taught to young people any more.  Unfortunately, it's one of the most effective strategies that one can use to actually learn the material that's being covered.  Sitting there and passively hearing what's being taught is not a good way to actually learn it--when one doesn't write things down, it's much more difficult for the concepts to make their ways into our long-term memory rather than our short-term.  But teachers don't seem to be putting any effort into teaching the study skills that help the kids to learn to learn; instead, they focus on the information that's possibly going to be on a standardized test, information that is simply learned by rote almost, rather than skills that can help them to be successful in many ways.  I keep insisting that my students at least take notes because I know that they need strategies for internalizing those things that they learn, and that they're not getting much of that in their other classes.  Some of us teach because we want students to learn how to learn so that they're more likely to succeed in the future when we're not around any more, and I'm willing to let them get a little annoyed at me now for insisting that they take notes.  Because after all, if I don't insist now, there's a very good chance that they'll actually learn this skill too late for it to make any positive mark on their educations or their lives.

Trees--A Paragraph a Day

I bought a tree yesterday, kind of an impulse buy, but a good one, I think.  I was at the hardware store looking for something else, and I saw a nine-foot pear tree on sale for $60.  I hadn't planned on spending that much money, but it was a very nice pear tree, and it looked very healthy so I decided to go for it.  There's something about trees that I love--whether it be their patience or their perseverance or the sense of anticipation that they inspire, I don't know.  I just know that there's a pear tree in our yard that wasn't there a few days ago, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it in the spring now.  Its leaves are already red, so we get a few days of red leaves for the autumn, but since it's a pear tree there are going to be flowers in the spring, and that's definitely something to look forward to.  Trees are amazing things--they give us oxygen and shade and fruit and nuts and a place for birds to land, and they really do ask nothing back.  Our new tree has settled in just fine, and I'm sure that it's going to be pretty amazing come spring.  While I know that it's a fairly expensive impulse buy, even at half price, I also know that putting a tree in our yard is an action that helps the world in quite a few ways, and I'm very glad that sometimes I look at something like an impulse buy and tell myself, "That's a really good impulse."  We have a beautiful tree in our yard because of my latest impulse, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what it's going to offer us a few months from now.

Karma--A Paragraph a Day

Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin


It's hard sometimes to remind myself of this fact.  It's easy to forget the importance of our actions--each and every one of them.  And I think that our unwillingness to act is in itself an action, or at least a decision, that will reverberate in our lives for a very long time.  If I speak kind words to my wife today, I'm adding to the positive energy of the world, for sure.  If I think about saying something kind and I decide not to do so, what kind of effect will that have on my life?  We know the effects of neglect on young people, of course, and we know the effects of neglect on spouses and other people that we care for.  But is the decision to not say something that could be positive something that affects our karma, something that affects the world in which we live, even if in the slightest of ways?  I think that if I think of an action that will be positive for me or for anyone else, it's important to follow through with it and add that positivity to the world, and add that positive karma to my own life.  We get only one life, and I think that if I have the goal of making it as positive as I can, then I can only be sure of positivity by taking my own actions rather than waiting for something positive to come from some other source.

Enlightened?--A Paragraph a Day

Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth
can be achieved only through persistent exercise of real love.
-M. Scott Peck

I want to be enlightened, really I do.  But to be quite honest, I have to admit that I don't think I know what it means to be enlightened.  I've read a lot about it and I've talked to a lot of people about it, but even after decades of thinking about wanting to be enlightened, I truly have no real idea of how close I may be to--or how far away from--the state that I really want to reach.  I can't even define it, which means that there's a decent chance that I already am enlightened, depending on the definition.  I definitely wouldn't give myself credit for that, but I have to remember that if I don't even know the definition of something like enlightenment, then who knows if I'm there or not?  Personally, I'm going to do my best to keep working towards enlightenment by doing my best to be kind, by doing my best to be loving, by doing my best to be compassionate and considerate and mindful.  It's not that difficult to do if I truly commit myself to doing so--it just takes a series of decisions about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it.  Perhaps one day I'll reach the state and actually know that I've reached it, but for now, I'll just keep working at it.

What Is Good?--A Paragraph a Day

I often wonder what's truly good and what isn't.  There really is no clear answer, of course, because so many things that seem to be bad end up being the best things for us, and so many things that seem to be good turn out to be awful in the long run.  So I've stopped taking things at their surface--I don't necessarily believe that something that looks good to me truly IS good, because I really don't know.  I may win a million dollars in a lottery and end up being miserable; I may lose a job and end up finding something much better in all ways.  I think that it's far too easy to judge things on first impressions, and that true goodness rarely shows itself immediately.  We have to understand things on a much deeper level before we can truly know whether something is good or bad (with a few exceptions, of course).  I'm sure that most of us have had the experience of watching someone do something very good, only to find out later that they were doing it for selfish reasons and that the action wasn't at all good after all.  I think that the only thing that I can do with any surety is to make sure that my own actions come from that place inside of me that wants to do good, for only I know my true intentions.  And any goodness that I can put into the world is going to add to the overall goodness--and that can't be a bad thing, can it?

Very, Very Early--A Paragraph a Day

I went running just before four this morning.  It's one of the most wonderful things in the world, to go running super early like that when the world around me is mostly still asleep and everything's quiet and peaceful.  It's also one of the more difficult things in the world, actually putting on my shorts and shirt and socks and shoes and stepping out the door into the cold in order to run five miles or so before I've even truly woken up.  I wish it were easy to get up super early and to get outside and run in the brisk morning air because if it were easy, I'd do it all the time.  Unfortunately, though, going out and running isn't usually what I most feel like doing when I first get up.  I like eating breakfast, for example, and drinking a cup of coffee, and relaxing a bit to try to get myself mentally ready for the day ahead.  Once I get out there and I'm into the run, it's a great experience, but it sure tends to be rough getting started.  It's like a lot of things in life--I end up loving it and it's certainly good for me and I have a great sense of accomplishment once I've finished the run, but getting started seems to take an inordinate amount of effort, mostly mentally.  So many things in life are like this, and I recognized the pattern in many things that I've done and that I haven't done--sometimes things are so hard to get started that I simply don't get started at all, so I never get the chance to love doing them, and I never get the sense of satisfaction from having done them.  My hope is that as life goes on I miss fewer and fewer things because I'm afraid to start them--I need to take more balanced risks as I get older, not fewer, for now is a time of my life when I've spent years learning how to deal with setbacks when and if they happen.

A Generous Day--A Paragraph a Day

I'd like this day of mine to be a generous one.  When the day is over some hours from now, I'd like to look back on it and be able to think about times when I was generous to someone else.  Of course, if that's how I want the day to end, then it's important that I make a conscious effort to be generous for the next fourteen hours or so, isn't it?  I'm going to have a lot of opportunities to be generous, by sharing whatever I have, by sharing compliments and encouragement, even possibly by overlooking some fault or mistake of another person and fixing a problem myself.  At my school, sometimes being generous concerns picking up some trash in the cafeteria so that the janitor doesn't have to do so, and I make his job just a bit easier.  Of course, if I do so, I don't want to tell him that I did, for then my action is less about being generous and more about wanting thanks for my "generous" action.  I can be generous with my time by listening to someone who seems to need to talk--even if I had something to say that I thought was very important.  When all is said and done, of course, my listening is almost always more generous than my talking.  So can I do it?  Can I make this a generous day?  I certainly hope so, and now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps it will be easier for me to do so.  Wish me luck!

Taking Care of Myself, part two--A Paragraph a Day

Taking a hot bath is a wonderfully relaxing thing for me to do, but when I add music with positive, love-filled music, it gets even better.  In the tub yesterday evening, I heard songs that are peaceful and inspiring and uplifting.  I try to find all of the uplifting music I can that's good, that's pleasant to listen to.  Some of it is upbeat and energetic, and that's not the kind of music that helps me to relax in the tub so I listen to it at other times.  Music is one of the most important parts of my life, and I've finally figured out why--our family moved rather constantly when I was young, and the music on the radio was the only constant that I had other than my family members, and we were quite dysfunctional.  But when we moved from San Diego to Norfolk, for example, the songs that I had been listening to in California were the same ones that were playing in Virginia when we got there, and I was able to feel a sense of stability and connection.  I had left behind all my friends and everything else that was familiar to me, but at least I had the songs.  And now that I have a collection of songs that help me to think of the beauty and wonder of life, I'm able to listen to them when I need to fill my mind with something positive.  Try listening to Dolly Parton's "Everything Is Beautiful" sometime and see whether or not you feel just a little bit better when the song is through.  Kelley Hunt's "Miracle" is another one that I can listen to often, as is Alison Krauss' "Simple Love."  We need to fill our minds with as much positivity as possible if we want to live positive lives, and music can be a wonderful way to do just that.

Taking Care of Myself--A Paragraph a Day

Two of the ways that I try to make sure that I'm taking care of myself are good songs and hot bubble baths.  Often, they run together when I'm listening to good songs while taking a hot bubble bath.  The baths are incredibly relaxing, and they give me a chance to escape from the day and spend some quality time with myself in an extremely comfortable environment, which I appreciate a great deal more when I keep in mind that millions of people on this planet don't even have running water.  But not only do I have running water, but I have the ability to control its temperature by adjusting a handle, making the water just the right temperature for me.  Baths are incredible because they force me to stop what I'm doing for a certain amount of time in order to sit in warm--almost hot--water that soothes my body and my nerves.  They've been even better this year since I installed the most comfortable tub I've ever been in--another great thing that I certainly don't take for granted.  Sometimes I get so caught up in things that I almost have to force myself to stop doing what I'm doing and take a block of time for a bath, and I've never regretted it.  My baths are truly nice experiences--I even turn out the lights and turn on a dim electric candle light so the atmosphere will be even more relaxing, and I play music that I know is positive and uplifting.  I'll tell you about that tomorrow, though.

Dinner Out--A Paragraph a Day

My wife and I have taken to eating out pretty regularly these days--about once a week for dinner, and sometimes lunch or breakfast on the weekend.  We don't do it because we don't want to eat at home, for we're always fine eating at home.  Rather, we go out--and have been doing so for several years now--to try to contribute to the community we live in.  If we eat at home, a certain amount of money is spent at the supermarket, where we spend quite a bit of money already.  If we spend money at the restaurant, someone's business gets supported (we don't go to chains), and they're able to pay servers and cooks and cleaners and cashiers.  Yes, it costs us more than dinner at home would, but we get a little time out for ourselves and we usually get pretty good meals out of it, too.  There have been times when we haven't been able to afford dinner out more than once every couple of months, but now that we're able to afford them, we're trying to share our money with the community.  We also try not to buy books on Amazon any more, and we spend a dollar or two more per book at our local bookstore.  We try not to shop at WalMart, either, except when they have something that we can't find elsewhere.  We live in times when we're used to spending our money with the big chains who don't use any of their profits in our own communities, so my wife and I want to try to help small businesses do well because we know that they're going to spend their profits here in town--and money is meant to be circulated.  We want to do all that we can to make sure that our money helps as many people as possible as close to us as possible.

Kind Today--A Paragraph a Day

I'm going to try to be extra kind today.  It's not always easy for me to do because I teach at a high school and some of the young people there do some really crappy things, but for today I'm going to try to focus on kindness no matter what.  I try to do this as much as I can, anyway, but I so often get distracted from the goal that I forget kindness and focus on whatever I get caught up in, whatever it may be.  I can be kind in many ways--I can share kind words, I can give small gifts (chocolate comes to mind), I can help someone with some task that they need help with, I can clean up a mess that needs to be cleaned, I can simply be there for someone who needs someone else to listen.  Being kind doesn't mean that I have to spend tons of money or that I have to go far out of my way to do something that I'm uncomfortable doing.  It doesn't mean that I have to be friends with someone whom I find to be very unpleasant or rude.  It doesn't mean that I have to do anything that I think is wrong.  It simply means that I need to be kind instead of impatient, kind instead of neutral, kind instead of aloof.  It really is fairly easy to be kind--the hard part for me is reminding myself constantly that my main goal should be kindness if I really do want to be contributing something positive to this world of ours.

Are We Losing Hope?--A Paragraph a Day

Sometimes I think that hope is becoming scarce in our world.  We see so much suffering and we experience so many setbacks that many people are finding it hard even to imagine that the future holds anything better.  This seems to be especially true among our young people, who don't make enough money even to afford to rent their own homes, much less buy them.  People continue to do the best they can, but that often isn't enough, and they end up being in dire straits even though they've done everything they can to do things right.  Many young people have become cynical, and rather than looking at the future with hope that it will be better than today is, they think of the future as more of the same--or even worse.  So many people are just one disaster or sickness or car breakdown away from being in serious financial trouble that they're much more afraid than they are hopeful.  How can we help them?  Of course, we can't just give them money to make them feel more secure, and we can't buy homes for them or pay their rent, but what can we do to try to bring hope back to them?  Empty promises of things getting better won't help, nor will insincere encouraging words.  Personally, I don't have the answer, but it's a question worth pondering and exploring:  How can we reignite hope in others?  What can we do to help others to see their futures in bright and positive terms?  I'll keep thinking about this problem, and hopefully others will, too.