30 October 2017

Accepting the Horrible

Acceptance is a letting-go process.  You let go of your wishes and demands that life can be different.  It's a conscious choice.   -Gary Emery


Acceptance is one of the hardest qualities to practice these days.  There's so much going on that seems to be completely unacceptable in the public light--lying, manipulation, angry attacks, abuse, destruction of the planet--that the word "acceptance" seems out of place.  I often want to use the word "unacceptable" when I talk about such things, and sometimes I do because in certain situations these things are unacceptable.  But I have to remind myself that if I don't accept them, I'm in a certain sense denying them, and that denial makes it impossible for me to do anything about them.

Acceptance in not approval.  It took me years to learn that, so I repeat it now for my sake, not yours:  Acceptance is not approval.  Acceptance simply says, "Yes, this has happened or is happening, and it is a reality in our world right now."  Denial says that I refuse to acknowledge something, and if I do refuse, then I can never start the healing process that I need to go through, or I can never work to change that certain something.  When I accept, I simply acknowledge that something is real, and once I do that I can begin to learn to cope with it or try to change it.

There is much in life right now that's simply unpleasant, and much that's unpleasant and destructive and dangerous.  If I want to work counter to the destruction and danger, then I must acknowledge that they exist.  I don't even have to fight them if I don't wish to--as long as I'm working towards building something that's more loving and hopeful and compassionate, my efforts will not be in vain, and I won't be facing constant stress and tension in an effort to "defeat" something else.  Rather, I'll be using my creative abilities to add something positive to the world.

The world of today is an unpleasant place in many ways.  Many of us have a hard time finding our place in it because of its negativity and dishonesty.  Once we accept that things are the way they are, though, and let go of our desire that the world be as we think it should be, we can stop trying to battle the way things are and focus on adding something beautiful and loving, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.