What Are Dreams?--A Paragraph a Day

I sometimes have to wonder about dreams and their value to us.  I like them, and I have in my life pursued some of my dreams.  I ended up living in Europe for more than four years, total, because I went after dreams instead of after money or career, for example.  But even as I think of how nice it was to be in Europe and to learn what I learned there, I also have to wonder what life would have been like if I had stayed in place not to play it safe, but to start a journey inside, a spiritual journey that might have opened my eyes and heart in much different ways.  I think of the monks who spend their lived in spiritual meditation, who have no desire to travel to other places, nor any need.  Are they better off spiritually than I am?  Have they progressed farther than I have?  Are they able to be more mindful of their lives that they're living?  I know that some of the happiest and most content people on the planet have been people who never traveled, who never dreamed of doing more than they were doing, but who put their all into everything they did.  I really do like dreams and dreaming, but could it be that chasing our dreams pulls us away from what may be the absolute best for us, leading us to not be able to reach certain heights right where we are, in the here and now, every day?  I really can't answer that question, of course, but it's definitely worth pondering!

Learning Something New--A Paragraph a Day

So far, I'm failing pretty miserably at posting a paragraph a day here.  That's okay, of course--the world will keep spinning and moving through the solar system whether I write a paragraph or not--but it is a good lesson for me.  I'm learning just how easy it is for me to get caught up in day-to-day life and forget to do something like a paragraph online, whether I made that promise to myself or not.  I'm also seeing very clearly just how quickly quite a few days can pass.  It doesn't seem possible that my last paragraph was four days ago, yet that's the truth of the matter.  It helps me to gain a sense of perspective, and to sympathize with other people who are having a hard time meeting deadlines or getting things done on time--especially my students.  Personally, I've always been pretty good at making sure that things get done and at meeting deadlines, and it's kind of surprising to me to see my performance at this particular task.  But now I get to see if I'm actually learning anything or not.  Will February be just like January, or will I be able to do better at fulfilling this resolution?  Will I take something from these lessons and do better and treat other people with more compassion because of what I'm learning from my experience?  Here's hoping that even though I certainly have NOT written a paragraph a day despite making a resolution to do so, I'll get something from this experience that will help me to become a better and more compassionate human being.  We'll see!

At the End of the Day--A Paragraph a Day

Each of my days on this planet has ended.  I haven't always ended each day by going to sleep, but the days themselves have gone away to be replaced by a new day.  And when the days have ended, I usually don't do much reflection on the day that has passed.  I don't ask myself how I did, how I treated people, how I treated myself.  Sometimes I think I should, though.  I think that at the end of some days I really should just stop for a few moments and ask myself how I did what I did, not as a matter of judging myself, but as a matter of figuring out whether or not I gave it my all, whether or not I gave other people--especially my students--my all.    And if I didn't, I wouldn't want to be mad at myself; rather, I would just want to figure out how to do it right (or maybe just a bit better) the next day.  Not every day has to be perfect, and not every day has to be wonderful, but I do think that if I want to work towards being even slightly enlightened, if I want to reach the end of my life and be happy with the man that I've become, then it's important that I reflect and consider just what I'm doing to help myself to become--or keep myself from becoming, the best version of myself that I can be.

Our page on reflection

Snow Day--A Paragraph a Day

Today was a snow day, one of my favorite things in the world.  The best part of it was that we got the call last night cancelling school, so when I went to bed, I knew that I didn't have to get ready to go to school/work in the morning.  We ended up with about a foot of snow, and the roads were a mess this morning, so it was a good call.  I like snow days because they're a change--they're a relaxing day when I expected to have a work day.  They're peacefulness and no stress, because I make sure that I stay at home and take advantage of the opportunity to relax that I hadn't expected.  I do shovel snow, of course, but that's a job I like doing.  Days like today make me wonder why I don't make more of my own snow days.  Why don't I call in sick every once in a while, just to give myself a well deserved break?  I would want to make a habit of it, but there would be nothing wrong with doing so every now and then, just because.  It's worth thinking about, I believe.  For now, I'm just glad that I had a nice, peaceful day that will end up shortening our week, too.

Weather-- A Paragraph a Day

It always fascinates me to hear people say something about "bad" weather.  Somehow, any weather that we can't go out in without a coat or an umbrella is "bad," whereas good weather is that which allows us to go outside in shorts and a t-shirt.  Or something like that.  Whenever I hear anyone way that the weather is bad because it's raining or snowing or cold, I say, "I love rainy days."  Not to be contrary, but because I really do love those days that other people call bad.  A rainy day or a snowy day is a day full of personality, a day that gets me in the mood to go home and get cozy and sit on the couch with a throw over me and a cup of hot chocolate or tea or coffee and a good book.  Often when the weather is "good," I get antsy and I want to go outside, which is of course quite fine, but it's just not the same as sitting and reading while the rain comes down outside.  We're fortunate to live in a society in which most people have protection from the elements, and "bad" weather days become nicer for that fact.  Sometimes I think that with as many nice moments as the rain and snow have given me, they deserve to have someone stick up for them.  So I try to do so.

Abundance Isn't Everywhere--A Paragraph a Day

When I was teaching a World Studies course this past semester, I did my best to make sure that my students knew that not all is well with our world.  How can all be well when something like 25,000 people a day are dying of hunger or causes related to hunger, while in other countries we waste 25-40% of our food?  It's easy to get caught up in an "abundance" mentality as long as we're willing to ignore that right now, people are going to bed hungry, or even dying hungry, while many of us have much more food than we need, and we end up throwing much of it away.  I don't want to make all seem like doom and gloom for my students, but it's important that our young people know that earlier generations (mine included) haven't done particularly well with the world.  I want them to be aware of issues like hunger so that they recognize it when they see it in their own lives and perhaps will be able to do something about it in their own sphere of influence.  I truly wish that there were a way to pack up some food and send it to people who need it, but there's no such luck.  Perhaps the young people who are learning about these problems now will be able to do something significant to deal with them.  That's my hope, anyway.  Help starts with awareness.  Awareness starts with learning.

Keeping Things up--A Paragraph a Day

We just finished a semester at school.  At my current school, I have more students than I've ever had trying to get "extra credit," trying to do a few worksheets or anything to pull themselves up to a passing grade so that they can play sports.  They're failing my class not because the class is too difficult or because they're not capable of passing it, but because they've made the decision all semester long not to do the work that's been assigned.  And because they're failing my class, they're not eligible to play basketball or run track.  And they want special consideration just because they want to play sports, even though the term "student athlete" always has had the word "student" first.  I don't cave, though, and the students get quite angry at me because somehow, I'm keeping them from playing.  The reality is, though, that their own lack of effort is what's keeping them from playing, and I'm simply the person who's caught in the middle.  They don't know what they're supposed to know, plain and simple.  I'm not willing to change the grade they've earned just to let them play a sport when other students in the class don't get the same consideration.  Hopefully, of course, they'll learn an important lesson about life here.  If not, they'll just continue being angry at me.  Welcome to one aspect of the world of a teacher!

Problems with Resolutions--A Paragraph a Day

The last few days have shown me one of the problems with New Year's Resolutions--life got busy for a couple of days, and I "broke" my resolution to write a paragraph a day on this blog.  When I opened this page just a few moments ago, I thought I had missed two days.  I quickly found out, though, that it's actually been five days since my last paragraph.  Four days in a row, I didn't write anything, in spite of my resolution.  That's okay with me--I'm not going to beat myself up or make myself miserable for something that in the bigger picture is quite trivial.  It reminds me, though, that things happen, that life isn't always completely predictable, and that sometimes we don't live up to promises that we make--even to ourselves--and that it's important for us not to lose our cool over that.  Had this been a promise to a friend, then I would have done my best to make it up to them.  Not coming through on all of our promises isn't the end of the world, and it doesn't destroy all of our credibility or make it impossible for others to trust us.  Rather, it reminds us that we, too, are fallible, and that we will make mistakes.  And life will go on.

Other People's Talent--A Paragraph a Day

I don't know where we would be in this world without other people's talents.  We wouldn't have most of the necessities that we enjoy regularly, such as food that stays fresh for long periods of time, refrigerators to keep our food safe, cars to get us places we wouldn't be able to go otherwise--the list is pretty much endless, I believe.  The truth of the matter is that we owe so much to other people who have walked on this planet before us that we'll probably never fathom the depth of our indebtedness.  So to pay back that debt, I figure that I'm going to appreciate everything that I have, as consciously as I can.  I'm not going to take anything for granted if I can help it, and I'm going to feel and show my thankfulness as much as I can.  We don't walk this world alone, and we accomplish almost nothing without the input of other people who have invented that hammer that we use to build with, that shovel that we dig with, and so much more.  Just how appreciative should we be?  I think that it's quite obvious, to be honest.  Appreciation should be one of our highest priorities in life if we're to live fully and enjoy life and all that it offers as much as we can.

When Things Are Difficult--A Paragraph a Day

I was talking to some of my students today and a couple of them were saying that they weren't going to take Spanish any more because languages are too difficult for them.  It's always interesting for me to hear people say things like this because I know that they've already been through the most difficult parts, learning a language from zero and trying to adapt to new ways of thinking and expressing ideas.  What I know from experience, though, is that after the first couple of courses, languages get easier.  Once someone has built a base to work from and has a good idea of the fundamentals of a language, then it becomes much easier for them to learn new concepts, for they just kind of plug them in to the structures that they already know and are able to use.  It's kind of a shame, actually--so many people give up on things like languages just when they're about to hit the part that's easiest, and the part that's the most rewarding.  So many things in life are like that--they're terribly difficult at the start, but as we get better, they get easier.  Unfortunately, the difficulties make many people give up before the ever hit the easier and more rewarding part, and that, I can promise you, is a shame.  Let's not give up because the way has been difficult.  It won't always be so, but if we give up, we'll never know for sure.

http://livinglifefully.com/perseverance.htm

People Helping People--A Paragraph a Day

I'm showing the film Thirteen Lives to one of my classes this week.  It's a wonderful movie that shows just how good and how kind people can be to each other, and the kinds of risks that people are willing to take, the kinds of sacrifices that people are willing to make, in order to help out other human beings whom they've never even met before.  When thirteen young people are trapped in a cave by flooding, the lengths to which people are willing to go to save them are truly inspiring, and it's a very nice thing in this world to watch a story about people helping people selflessly, rather than the typical fare that's presented to us in the name of entertainment of people hurting other people, for whatever the reason.  I like to remind myself that the world truly is meant for this--kindness and compassion, rather than hatred, greed, and harm.  It's hard to see through the haze sometimes, but films like this help to clear the air and help us to see what human beings are capable of if we allow compassion to be a guiding force in our lives.

Nice Walks--A Paragraph a Day

My wife and I seem to struggle to take walks sometimes, especially in the winter when it can be cold and unpleasant outside.  The interesting thing about walks, though, is that no matter what the weather, they turn out to be fine.  We have coats and umbrellas to keep us warm, and just the act of getting outside and getting some fresh air is a very positive thing to do.  Many times I've hesitated about taking walks because the weather seems too bad, but in the end, I've never regretted a single walk that I've taken.  They always help to lift me up and make me feel better.  I don't know why--perhaps it's the fresh air, or perhaps it's simply because I'm not in a room for a certain amount of time.  No matter what the reason, I know that outside of some extreme weather situations during which it's far too dangerous to be outdoors, I always want to at least step out of the door and start a walk.  My mind appreciates it, my body appreciates it, and my heart and spirit appreciate it.  Today we walked for two hours on a chilly winter day, and the two hours were beautiful--and we're both very glad we got out there.  Walking is exercise and meditation and mindfulness and relaxation all in one simple activity, and it also gives me appreciation simply for the fact that I'm able to walk when so many aren't.  I have to say that of all the things I hope I never have to give up, I would put walking way up high on that list.

http://livinglifefully.com/walking.htm 

Growing Old--A Paragraph a Day

I think that one of the more fascinating things about growing old is the fact that I don't feel any older now than I ever have.  The world still interests me, I still see lots of fascinating and beautiful things, I still enjoy a lot of the activities that we have here, and I still like things like weather and little kids and coffee and quiet evenings at home.  I honestly don't feel a bit different than I did at twenty or thirty, though, except for the fact that I have a lot more memories and a bit more wisdom to help make my life a bit more pleasant.  It's not bothering a bit to get older--in fact, I think that overall I'm happier and more stable now than I ever have been.  When I look around at the other older people around me and I notice that so many of them are carrying around tons of bitterness and regret, that they're mad that the world is changing and isn't like it used to be, that they're upset that young people don't live up to their expectations that were forged decades ago, I feel pretty fortunate.  The world is going on, no matter what my age, and it will continue to go on long after I'm gone.  I'm just going to try to enjoy this stage of my life while I have it.

The Balance between Compassion and Integrity--A Paragraph a Day

What's the best thing for young people--a compassionate teacher who allows them to pass a class without doing any work, or a teacher who sticks to their guns and doesn't let them pass if they don't actually learn the material?  This is a question that I face pretty much every day in my job as a teacher, and I still don't have an answer.  I do what I do and I do the best I can at it, but I don't think I'll ever know what's actually best for everyone.  There's a part of me that wants to be compassionate with everyone and give them an out, a way to pass even if they don't "deserve" to pass, but there's also that part of me that knows that sometimes tough love is the best way to go--if they don't do the work, they don't pass the class.  My hunch is that the latter approach is the best long-term approach for the students, for it gives them a chance to learn the importance of doing your work to the best of your ability in a rather "safe" environment.  I've heard lots of people talk about the teacher who demanded a lot from students and didn't back down, and how that teacher had such a strong and long-lasting impact on people's lives.  I've never heard any stories about the teacher who simply hands out passing grades even when students have learned nothing at all.  I think we really do need to face possible failure as a true potential outcome if we're to learn how to persevere, how to get better at something, how to meet established criteria.  So while I do try to be compassionate, I also stick to my guns--I make my classes easy enough to pass for anyone who actually does the work, but I don't pass anyone who fails to do the work.  My goals are always to focus on long-term benefits rather than short-term good feelings.

Quiet Afternoons--A Paragraph a Day

It's really quite fascinating to me just how nice quiet afternoons at home have become for me.  There was a time when I wanted to be out doing something, when I wanted to be active, when I felt I was wasting my time if I wasn't actually doing something.  But these days, some of my most pleasant moments come when I choose to stay home in the afternoon and read or play chess or color or draw or write.  I still love being active and doing things, but I've reached a point at which balance is very important, too, and I really like being at home, doing nothing, while outside the world keeps going on and on without me playing an active role in it.  I wouldn't want to do it all the time, of course, as I'm sure the charm would wear thin, but as long as I do balance staying in on a quiet afternoon and just relaxing with the other approaches to life that I tend to take, then I'll be fine.  Such afternoons stir appreciation for the home I have to relax in, for the money I have to maintain the home and my lifestyle, for the opportunity even to just slow down and be for a few hours.  It's a privilege that not everyone in the world is able to enjoy.  Quiet afternoons can give us some of our best moments if we can be sure to actually enjoy and appreciate them without feeling that we should be doing something else.

Ineffective Strategies--A Paragraph a Day

In my high school Spanish classes, we have finals coming up in two weeks.  The course is nearly over, and it's going to be time to take the most important test of the course.  For some of the students, the final is their last opportunity to get credit for the class, as I've watched them over the last four months sitting and talking together when they should have been working on learning the material--and then they've gotten upset because their grades are so low.  All that aside, though, I've let them know that no matter what their grades up until this point, if they pass the final, they pass the class.  For some students, it's a great opportunity to make the best of the situation and spend the next two weeks doing their best to learn the material well so that they can pass the final.  Yet today's work was review for that final and several of the students still didn't do what was assigned in class, even though it's work that's designed to help them pass the exam.  This is why they're in the situation they're in, and even though I threw them a very generous lifeline, they decided to continue not doing the work that can help them to improve and that can help them to pass the class and get credit for it.  They've decided to continue to follow the same strategy of self-sabotage, a strategy that has gotten them into a very bad situation grade-wise and that will undoubtedly lead to a failing grade on the final as well.  It's really quite a shame to watch, but the choice is theirs.  Personally, I hope to learn from what they're doing and to make sure that I don't do the same thing.  I don't want to ever guarantee my future failure by refusing to do the work at hand today.  That's simply self-destructive and, unfortunately, far too common among the human beings on this planet.

Let Today's Tasks Be Today's Tasks--A Paragraph a Day

I have an interesting affliction, for lack of a better word.  I always think I should be doing more--accomplishing more, giving more, reading more, working more.  I should be a better teacher, a better husband, a better writer.  I don't know where this tendency has come from, but it's very real, and it's very annoying.  These days it's not nearly as strong as it has been for most of my life, and that's partly because I used Buddhist monks--and other people from other religions--as role models.  We've been born into cultures that seem to value achievement above all else, so we feel pressure to achieve.  But what about peace?  Could it be that being able to do nothing for an entire day--and enjoying the nothingness of it--is an extremely high form of achievement?  I think about monks who spend years doing little but studying and contemplating life, never thinking at all about achievements that will impress other people, and I start to relax.  Because I'm not a better man than those monks who have spent decades contemplating life and living.  They've lived their lives and then passed on, and no one remembers them except for a select few, and that's okay.  When my day to leave this planet comes, I want to be able to say that I learned the lesson of how to simply live and enjoy, without thinking about achievement at all.  Our lives are gifts to us, and there's nothing wrong with simply contemplating a gift and enjoying it.  And that's what I want to do with my life.

Running through Pain--A Paragraph a Day

 One of my New Year's resolutions is very simple:  I want to post a paragraph a day here on this blog, about things that are actually a part of my life and my living.  Sometimes the thoughts and ideas here are far too abstract, and they get a bit difficult to continue, especially after more than twenty years of keeping it up.  So here's today's paragraph:

I went running today, and things were fine for the first ten minutes or so.  Then my left calf started hurting, as in pulled-muscle type of hurting.  I stopped when it started because the pain was pretty intense, but I was already more than a mile from home, so my options were to stop and walk home, or keep going.  I decided to keep going (and please note that almost every doctor in the world would advise against doing what I did).  Why?  Because I started running again and found a stride that allowed me to run through the pain--it wasn't pain-free, but it also wasn't getting worse.  I was able to go another forty minutes before I finished, and the calf hurts now, obviously because I continued running on it.  But there are a few truths that I've learned throughout life that allow me to keep running.  First, some things are going to hurt.  A run, a relationship, a heart.  Once we accept that there will be pain in life, pain doesn't have the strength it does otherwise.  Second, continuing on even though it's painful is a valuable trait to pursue in life.  We don't want to be stupid about it and hurt ourselves more--if it had been a different kind of pain or more severe, I definitely would have stopped and walked home.  But again, once we accept that there will be pain, pain means something else when it shows up.  Third, though I hurt now, I know something important:  I would be hurting now even if I had stopped and walked home.  The pain is there, and it would have been in any case.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is not let a bit of pain stop us, but to run through it and keep doing what we're doing, even if it hurts.  We will hurt.  The question is whether or not we allow that hurt to determine who we are and what we do.