Not Teaching Skills--A Paragraph a Day

One of the things that constantly amazes me in school these days when I'm teaching is the extremely low number of students who take notes.  It's like it's a skill that's completely died, and that obviously isn't being taught to young people any more.  Unfortunately, it's one of the most effective strategies that one can use to actually learn the material that's being covered.  Sitting there and passively hearing what's being taught is not a good way to actually learn it--when one doesn't write things down, it's much more difficult for the concepts to make their ways into our long-term memory rather than our short-term.  But teachers don't seem to be putting any effort into teaching the study skills that help the kids to learn to learn; instead, they focus on the information that's possibly going to be on a standardized test, information that is simply learned by rote almost, rather than skills that can help them to be successful in many ways.  I keep insisting that my students at least take notes because I know that they need strategies for internalizing those things that they learn, and that they're not getting much of that in their other classes.  Some of us teach because we want students to learn how to learn so that they're more likely to succeed in the future when we're not around any more, and I'm willing to let them get a little annoyed at me now for insisting that they take notes.  Because after all, if I don't insist now, there's a very good chance that they'll actually learn this skill too late for it to make any positive mark on their educations or their lives.

Trees--A Paragraph a Day

I bought a tree yesterday, kind of an impulse buy, but a good one, I think.  I was at the hardware store looking for something else, and I saw a nine-foot pear tree on sale for $60.  I hadn't planned on spending that much money, but it was a very nice pear tree, and it looked very healthy so I decided to go for it.  There's something about trees that I love--whether it be their patience or their perseverance or the sense of anticipation that they inspire, I don't know.  I just know that there's a pear tree in our yard that wasn't there a few days ago, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it in the spring now.  Its leaves are already red, so we get a few days of red leaves for the autumn, but since it's a pear tree there are going to be flowers in the spring, and that's definitely something to look forward to.  Trees are amazing things--they give us oxygen and shade and fruit and nuts and a place for birds to land, and they really do ask nothing back.  Our new tree has settled in just fine, and I'm sure that it's going to be pretty amazing come spring.  While I know that it's a fairly expensive impulse buy, even at half price, I also know that putting a tree in our yard is an action that helps the world in quite a few ways, and I'm very glad that sometimes I look at something like an impulse buy and tell myself, "That's a really good impulse."  We have a beautiful tree in our yard because of my latest impulse, and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what it's going to offer us a few months from now.

Karma--A Paragraph a Day

Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin


It's hard sometimes to remind myself of this fact.  It's easy to forget the importance of our actions--each and every one of them.  And I think that our unwillingness to act is in itself an action, or at least a decision, that will reverberate in our lives for a very long time.  If I speak kind words to my wife today, I'm adding to the positive energy of the world, for sure.  If I think about saying something kind and I decide not to do so, what kind of effect will that have on my life?  We know the effects of neglect on young people, of course, and we know the effects of neglect on spouses and other people that we care for.  But is the decision to not say something that could be positive something that affects our karma, something that affects the world in which we live, even if in the slightest of ways?  I think that if I think of an action that will be positive for me or for anyone else, it's important to follow through with it and add that positivity to the world, and add that positive karma to my own life.  We get only one life, and I think that if I have the goal of making it as positive as I can, then I can only be sure of positivity by taking my own actions rather than waiting for something positive to come from some other source.

Enlightened?--A Paragraph a Day

Nirvana or lasting enlightenment or true spiritual growth
can be achieved only through persistent exercise of real love.
-M. Scott Peck

I want to be enlightened, really I do.  But to be quite honest, I have to admit that I don't think I know what it means to be enlightened.  I've read a lot about it and I've talked to a lot of people about it, but even after decades of thinking about wanting to be enlightened, I truly have no real idea of how close I may be to--or how far away from--the state that I really want to reach.  I can't even define it, which means that there's a decent chance that I already am enlightened, depending on the definition.  I definitely wouldn't give myself credit for that, but I have to remember that if I don't even know the definition of something like enlightenment, then who knows if I'm there or not?  Personally, I'm going to do my best to keep working towards enlightenment by doing my best to be kind, by doing my best to be loving, by doing my best to be compassionate and considerate and mindful.  It's not that difficult to do if I truly commit myself to doing so--it just takes a series of decisions about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it.  Perhaps one day I'll reach the state and actually know that I've reached it, but for now, I'll just keep working at it.

What Is Good?--A Paragraph a Day

I often wonder what's truly good and what isn't.  There really is no clear answer, of course, because so many things that seem to be bad end up being the best things for us, and so many things that seem to be good turn out to be awful in the long run.  So I've stopped taking things at their surface--I don't necessarily believe that something that looks good to me truly IS good, because I really don't know.  I may win a million dollars in a lottery and end up being miserable; I may lose a job and end up finding something much better in all ways.  I think that it's far too easy to judge things on first impressions, and that true goodness rarely shows itself immediately.  We have to understand things on a much deeper level before we can truly know whether something is good or bad (with a few exceptions, of course).  I'm sure that most of us have had the experience of watching someone do something very good, only to find out later that they were doing it for selfish reasons and that the action wasn't at all good after all.  I think that the only thing that I can do with any surety is to make sure that my own actions come from that place inside of me that wants to do good, for only I know my true intentions.  And any goodness that I can put into the world is going to add to the overall goodness--and that can't be a bad thing, can it?

Very, Very Early--A Paragraph a Day

I went running just before four this morning.  It's one of the most wonderful things in the world, to go running super early like that when the world around me is mostly still asleep and everything's quiet and peaceful.  It's also one of the more difficult things in the world, actually putting on my shorts and shirt and socks and shoes and stepping out the door into the cold in order to run five miles or so before I've even truly woken up.  I wish it were easy to get up super early and to get outside and run in the brisk morning air because if it were easy, I'd do it all the time.  Unfortunately, though, going out and running isn't usually what I most feel like doing when I first get up.  I like eating breakfast, for example, and drinking a cup of coffee, and relaxing a bit to try to get myself mentally ready for the day ahead.  Once I get out there and I'm into the run, it's a great experience, but it sure tends to be rough getting started.  It's like a lot of things in life--I end up loving it and it's certainly good for me and I have a great sense of accomplishment once I've finished the run, but getting started seems to take an inordinate amount of effort, mostly mentally.  So many things in life are like this, and I recognized the pattern in many things that I've done and that I haven't done--sometimes things are so hard to get started that I simply don't get started at all, so I never get the chance to love doing them, and I never get the sense of satisfaction from having done them.  My hope is that as life goes on I miss fewer and fewer things because I'm afraid to start them--I need to take more balanced risks as I get older, not fewer, for now is a time of my life when I've spent years learning how to deal with setbacks when and if they happen.

A Generous Day--A Paragraph a Day

I'd like this day of mine to be a generous one.  When the day is over some hours from now, I'd like to look back on it and be able to think about times when I was generous to someone else.  Of course, if that's how I want the day to end, then it's important that I make a conscious effort to be generous for the next fourteen hours or so, isn't it?  I'm going to have a lot of opportunities to be generous, by sharing whatever I have, by sharing compliments and encouragement, even possibly by overlooking some fault or mistake of another person and fixing a problem myself.  At my school, sometimes being generous concerns picking up some trash in the cafeteria so that the janitor doesn't have to do so, and I make his job just a bit easier.  Of course, if I do so, I don't want to tell him that I did, for then my action is less about being generous and more about wanting thanks for my "generous" action.  I can be generous with my time by listening to someone who seems to need to talk--even if I had something to say that I thought was very important.  When all is said and done, of course, my listening is almost always more generous than my talking.  So can I do it?  Can I make this a generous day?  I certainly hope so, and now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps it will be easier for me to do so.  Wish me luck!

Taking Care of Myself, part two--A Paragraph a Day

Taking a hot bath is a wonderfully relaxing thing for me to do, but when I add music with positive, love-filled music, it gets even better.  In the tub yesterday evening, I heard songs that are peaceful and inspiring and uplifting.  I try to find all of the uplifting music I can that's good, that's pleasant to listen to.  Some of it is upbeat and energetic, and that's not the kind of music that helps me to relax in the tub so I listen to it at other times.  Music is one of the most important parts of my life, and I've finally figured out why--our family moved rather constantly when I was young, and the music on the radio was the only constant that I had other than my family members, and we were quite dysfunctional.  But when we moved from San Diego to Norfolk, for example, the songs that I had been listening to in California were the same ones that were playing in Virginia when we got there, and I was able to feel a sense of stability and connection.  I had left behind all my friends and everything else that was familiar to me, but at least I had the songs.  And now that I have a collection of songs that help me to think of the beauty and wonder of life, I'm able to listen to them when I need to fill my mind with something positive.  Try listening to Dolly Parton's "Everything Is Beautiful" sometime and see whether or not you feel just a little bit better when the song is through.  Kelley Hunt's "Miracle" is another one that I can listen to often, as is Alison Krauss' "Simple Love."  We need to fill our minds with as much positivity as possible if we want to live positive lives, and music can be a wonderful way to do just that.

Taking Care of Myself--A Paragraph a Day

Two of the ways that I try to make sure that I'm taking care of myself are good songs and hot bubble baths.  Often, they run together when I'm listening to good songs while taking a hot bubble bath.  The baths are incredibly relaxing, and they give me a chance to escape from the day and spend some quality time with myself in an extremely comfortable environment, which I appreciate a great deal more when I keep in mind that millions of people on this planet don't even have running water.  But not only do I have running water, but I have the ability to control its temperature by adjusting a handle, making the water just the right temperature for me.  Baths are incredible because they force me to stop what I'm doing for a certain amount of time in order to sit in warm--almost hot--water that soothes my body and my nerves.  They've been even better this year since I installed the most comfortable tub I've ever been in--another great thing that I certainly don't take for granted.  Sometimes I get so caught up in things that I almost have to force myself to stop doing what I'm doing and take a block of time for a bath, and I've never regretted it.  My baths are truly nice experiences--I even turn out the lights and turn on a dim electric candle light so the atmosphere will be even more relaxing, and I play music that I know is positive and uplifting.  I'll tell you about that tomorrow, though.

Dinner Out--A Paragraph a Day

My wife and I have taken to eating out pretty regularly these days--about once a week for dinner, and sometimes lunch or breakfast on the weekend.  We don't do it because we don't want to eat at home, for we're always fine eating at home.  Rather, we go out--and have been doing so for several years now--to try to contribute to the community we live in.  If we eat at home, a certain amount of money is spent at the supermarket, where we spend quite a bit of money already.  If we spend money at the restaurant, someone's business gets supported (we don't go to chains), and they're able to pay servers and cooks and cleaners and cashiers.  Yes, it costs us more than dinner at home would, but we get a little time out for ourselves and we usually get pretty good meals out of it, too.  There have been times when we haven't been able to afford dinner out more than once every couple of months, but now that we're able to afford them, we're trying to share our money with the community.  We also try not to buy books on Amazon any more, and we spend a dollar or two more per book at our local bookstore.  We try not to shop at WalMart, either, except when they have something that we can't find elsewhere.  We live in times when we're used to spending our money with the big chains who don't use any of their profits in our own communities, so my wife and I want to try to help small businesses do well because we know that they're going to spend their profits here in town--and money is meant to be circulated.  We want to do all that we can to make sure that our money helps as many people as possible as close to us as possible.

Kind Today--A Paragraph a Day

I'm going to try to be extra kind today.  It's not always easy for me to do because I teach at a high school and some of the young people there do some really crappy things, but for today I'm going to try to focus on kindness no matter what.  I try to do this as much as I can, anyway, but I so often get distracted from the goal that I forget kindness and focus on whatever I get caught up in, whatever it may be.  I can be kind in many ways--I can share kind words, I can give small gifts (chocolate comes to mind), I can help someone with some task that they need help with, I can clean up a mess that needs to be cleaned, I can simply be there for someone who needs someone else to listen.  Being kind doesn't mean that I have to spend tons of money or that I have to go far out of my way to do something that I'm uncomfortable doing.  It doesn't mean that I have to be friends with someone whom I find to be very unpleasant or rude.  It doesn't mean that I have to do anything that I think is wrong.  It simply means that I need to be kind instead of impatient, kind instead of neutral, kind instead of aloof.  It really is fairly easy to be kind--the hard part for me is reminding myself constantly that my main goal should be kindness if I really do want to be contributing something positive to this world of ours.

Are We Losing Hope?--A Paragraph a Day

Sometimes I think that hope is becoming scarce in our world.  We see so much suffering and we experience so many setbacks that many people are finding it hard even to imagine that the future holds anything better.  This seems to be especially true among our young people, who don't make enough money even to afford to rent their own homes, much less buy them.  People continue to do the best they can, but that often isn't enough, and they end up being in dire straits even though they've done everything they can to do things right.  Many young people have become cynical, and rather than looking at the future with hope that it will be better than today is, they think of the future as more of the same--or even worse.  So many people are just one disaster or sickness or car breakdown away from being in serious financial trouble that they're much more afraid than they are hopeful.  How can we help them?  Of course, we can't just give them money to make them feel more secure, and we can't buy homes for them or pay their rent, but what can we do to try to bring hope back to them?  Empty promises of things getting better won't help, nor will insincere encouraging words.  Personally, I don't have the answer, but it's a question worth pondering and exploring:  How can we reignite hope in others?  What can we do to help others to see their futures in bright and positive terms?  I'll keep thinking about this problem, and hopefully others will, too.

Letting the World Go On--A Paragraph a Day

Does it ever seem that the world is simply too overwhelming for us?  Does it seem that so many terrible things happen that it's not possible to stay happy if we really do feel compassion for the people to whom those terrible things are happening?  Does it seem unfair that we're sitting warm and comfortable in our homes while so many people are living through war and extreme poverty and crime and homelessness and goodness knows what else?  Sometimes it seems like that to me, and at those times I have to remember that my world is my world, and there's much to be grateful for here.  I don't have any influence at all on other people in other parts of the world, other than the amount that I donate each month to a particular charity (our personal charity is Doctors without Borders, though there are many others who do just as much good, if not more).  And I remind myself that if I were in a terrible situation, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone else, so those people who are living in better conditions could do me the best favor of all by truly appreciating their blessings while they have them.  The world will go on, and terrible things will continue to happen--and I'm not a terrible person for appreciating the food that I have, the shelter that I have, the blessings that I have.  We can't all be everywhere, saving everyone from adversity, but we can develop a sincere appreciation for the gifts that we have, for they truly are blessings, especially in light of the adversity that so many others are facing every day that we live.

War. Again. --A Paragraph a Day

One more time, we're reading about people killing one another in war.  People who disagree with one another politically, religiously, or whatever other reason they want to claim, so often turn to war to try to solve their disputes.  And as in any war, the number of civilian casualties that were first reported are astonishing.  People who were going about their day-to-day lives, unarmed and unprotected, were many of the first people to be killed in this war.  It's enough to make me sick--sick at heart and sick in spirit.  Without getting into any of the political or religious or economic arguments, it's almost impossible to talk about war in any but the most negative of tones, for there is really nothing positive about this tendency of human beings to kill one another.  Yes, people have every right to defend themselves when attacked, but being in the right morally and ethically doesn't necessarily mean that there's something positive in the killing.  Right now it's hard for me to focus on other things, even though the war is half a world away and I have no relatives or friends directly involved in it.  There are many fellow human beings suffering terrible things right now, and my heart has to be with them, even if I can do virtually nothing to help them.  And add to this chaos the fact that an earthquake in Afghanistan killed probably more than 2,000 people over the weekend, and we definitely have what Lucas called "a disturbance in the Force."  Much of humanity is suffering tonight--which is something that happens virtually every day on this planet--and we have to deal with the fact that we're virtually helpless to do anything at all about it.  There are days like these when the beauty of the world is overshadowed by the suffering of people and other living beings, and we have to take them as they come and try to learn from them and grow to be better people because of them.

more thoughts and ideas on war

My Freedoms--A Paragraph a Day

This year's Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Narges Mohammadi, an Iranian civil rights activist who's in an Iranian prison, and who will stay there for the foreseeable future.  She's an incredibly courageous woman who isn't afraid to speak out against the current "leaders" of the country, no matter the personal danger to herself.  Her case and her courage make me think about the freedoms that I have in my day-to-day life, the choices that I'm able to make every single day without fear of being beaten and/or arrested for wearing the wrong clothes or not covering my hair or saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.  The freedoms that I have are many, no matter what limitations I also face, and it's important that I not just appreciate them, but that I take advantage of them to do things that can make a difference in this world.  In my case, I try to make the differences as a teacher and as a writer, and in both of those fields I know that I enjoy more freedoms than most people in the world enjoy, and I try to make those freedoms count in my efforts to pass on knowledge of the topics that I've studied deeply, and about which I've learned a lot myself.  If I don't take advantage of those freedoms, then I feel that I'm doing a great disservice to wonderfully courageous human beings like Narges Mohammadi.  I can't go over to Iran and get her and others out of prison or change their life situations to make their lives better, but I can do my best to take advantage of the freedoms that I do have to try to make this world a better place, even in the slightest of ways.

Other People's Judgment--A Paragraph a Day

It always amazes me just how strongly we find other people's judgment to be important.  We worry about what other people think about our hair, our clothing, our cars, our homes, our sexuality, our relationships, our jobs, our favorite songs or movies. . . and on and on and on.  I have to wonder what life would be like if none of us worried about things like that, if we just lived our lives in the ways we see to be best and right for us, and didn't concern ourselves with the judgment of others.  Of course, I'm not talking about having everyone feel free to murder others or harm them in any way, but about the stress we cause ourselves by worrying about what other people think.  My boss coming over for dinner isn't a cause of stress--my worries about what he's going to think about my home and family cause that stress.  And yes, there are areas of out lives in which other people's judgment can cause us to lose a job or to have a manuscript rejected or to decide not to date us or marry us, but for the most part, other people's judgment, I think, should stay with those other people.  I really shouldn't allow its shadow to darken my life when there's so much sunshine to experience over here.

More thoughts and ideas on judgment

Taking Things for Granted--A Paragraph a Day

Often when I'm teaching my World Studies course we learn about people living in cultures that have very few of the luxuries that we tend to take for granted.  In this world today, there are millions of people living without electricity in their homes, without running water in their homes, without hope for jobs that would allow them to improve their situations.  There are millions of people without families, without the opportunity to go to school, without enough food to meet their nutritional needs today.  Yes, today.  Twenty-five thousand people on this planet will die of starvation or starvation-related causes today.  Knowing these things, I can let them overwhelm me and get a feeling of hopelessness that could make me very unhappy, or I can use this knowledge to help me to foster my appreciation for the things that I do have, the blessings that are present in my life in so many ways.  I obviously can't ignore the fact that there's much misery in the world, and I do my best with my limited resources to contribute to bettering the world, but I can't do it all.  What I can do is not squander the gifts by not appreciating them.  I can allow gratitude to be an important part of my life and not take for granted anything that I have.

Some Situations Just Aren't Winnable--A Paragraph a Day

One of the problems that I have with a lot of the self-help literature that's out there is the rather naive idea that we can thrive in virtually any situation, that we can come out winners no matter what kinds of obstacles we face or what kind of curve balls life throws us.  The simple truth is, though, that some situations are simply awful, and we're going to be lucky to get through them unscathed.  Some people choose to act in awful ways, and they may do their best to harm us.  Yes, we can learn from these situations and people, and yes, we can come out of whatever harm they cause us as better people, but we're certainly not going to thrive and we don't necessarily have to try to enjoy them--they are what they are and they've become a part of our lives, but that doesn't mean that there's a way to make them somehow enjoyable.  I prefer to try to understand what each situation is bringing me, be it treasure or garbage or even tedium, and then react appropriately by enjoying it, pulling myself out of it, or simply accepting it and rolling with it.  I appreciate the writers of most self-help material, but I do believe that they do us a disservice when they try to convince us that every moment brings us treasure, and that it's up to us to uncover it.  Usually, there's very little treasure to be discovered at the bottom of a pile of garbage.

Here. Now. --A Paragraph a Day

As you walk and eat and travel, be where you are.
Otherwise you will miss most of your life.   ~the Buddha

Where am I right now?  What's around me?  How many of us can answer that question truthfully and fully for most of the moments we experience?  It's so easy to be so busy and so distracted that we become blind to all of the beauty and kindness that's always present in our lives, and to believe those other people in our lives who tell us that life is stressful and frustrating and difficult and unfair.  But if we can just be aware of our present moments, if we can just stop now and then and look around and listen and feel to make sure we're not missing something normally wonderful, then we can add something profoundly moving to our lives.  Right here and right now are the only moments of our lives that we have to actually live, and that's something that we really need to take advantage of if we're to make the most of these lives that we have.