The Down Times--A Paragraph a Day

One of the hardest things in life for me is keeping in mind always that there will be down times in life--times when energy and enthusiasm are low, and when things don't seem as bright and positive as they normally do.  After all, I want to be "in charge" of my life, and I want to be able to see things in positive ways and to experience the world with a positive attitude.  But life just isn't like that, and the down days will come, won't they?  I think that one of the biggest challenges with the down days is that other people don't want to allow you to be down--they want to cheer you up, to make you feel "better."  But usually, for me, it's important to allow the down time to be what it is and to ride with it, without dwelling in it and allowing it to overpower me.  It's a difficult balancing act, of course, but an important one.  I think that it can be very damaging to deny our feelings, and that it's important to acknowledge them and listen to them and allow them to teach us whatever it may be that they have to teach.  I know from experience that I can't be cheered up just because someone says "Cheer up," but I can work my way through the down times by accepting them for what they are and working my way through them towards the light at the end of the tunnel, or the sunshine just outside of the fog.

When Exercise Is a Rest--A Paragraph a Day

I know it sounds paradoxical, but sometimes the best rests that I've taken have been long runs or walks or bike rides.  There are times when I feel the need to rest, but I know that I also need to exercise so I kind of force myself to get out there and do something physical.  These are often the best runs or walks or bike rides that I have--I end up feeling invigorated and energetic, much more so than I would have had I sat down on the couch to rest a little bit.  I like it when this happens, and oddly enough, I can't even remember any times when I've done this that has turned out negatively.  Of course, I take it easy during these outings, for I don't want to go out there and push myself really hard when I'm not feeling extremely strong, so I generally don't risk getting hurt.  The runs teach me something important, though--sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves may seem counterintuitive, and it may be worth our while to consider options that don't seem to make a whole lot of sense when we're pondering a course of action.  What seems like the best thing to do may not be so, and what seems to make little sense may actually make the best sense of all.

Those Special Songs--A Paragraph a Day

There are a lot of songs that are special to me, especially ones that I remember from long, long ago when I was very young.  Music was extremely important to me back then, for reasons that I've only recently figured out.  Since my father was in the military, our family moved a lot--every other year or so, and sometimes more often than that.  The only real stability in my life came on the radio--the songs that I heard in San Diego were more or less the same songs that I heard in Norfolk when we moved there.  I could depend on the music for a relative sense of consistency, pretty much the only consistency that I had in my life back then.  If we moved in the summer, I'd hear the songs on the radio before I left, and with a few differences I'd be able to find a radio station in the new place that played the same Top 40 songs.  And so music entrenched itself into my life as a solid, consistent companion, sometimes the only real companion I'd have for long periods of time.  And that's why music still means a great deal to me, and why when someone else has a strong attachment to something else, I try to withhold judgment about whether such an attachment is an addiction or whether it's healthy or whatever.  I know that some things just happen in our lives, and some things help us get through during times when we really need help.  Songs will always be an important part of my life, and I'm very grateful for them.

Isn't It Supposed to Be Spring?--A Paragraph a Day

The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another.
The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.
Henry van Dyke

We're about a week into spring now, and it doesn't look a whole lot different outdoors than it did three weeks ago.  I had to scrape ice off of my windshield this morning, and we've had some pretty bitter winds and grey days this past week.  But that's okay.  It's only spring in name so far, and I've learned over time to temper my wants and desires and allow myself to accept things as they are rather than being upset that they aren't as I would prefer them to be.  I'd love to come home from work and be able to go for a nice long bike ride, but that's not in the cards yet.  And that's okay.  We can't expect something major to happen like a change in season just because the calendars that we make say that it's the first day of spring.  If we want to get the most out of our days, we can't spend time and energy wishing the days were different, because they aren't.  The warmer days will be here soon enough, but for now it's important that we just take what we get because there's absolutely no way we can change it.  And once we accept the days for what they are, our own peace of mind grows and our stress levels decrease, both rather significantly.  It's spring in name only right now, and the best we can do is wait for true spring to arrive, and to love the days we get until then, just as they are.

Dinner Time--A Paragraph a Day

Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted--
a paved road or a washing machine?  If you concentrate on finding
what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life
will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.   -Harold Kushner


We're about to eat dinner, and though it seems like a pretty normal thing for the most part, it's something that I'm very grateful for.  I've had times in my life when I didn't have all that much to eat, and I pretty much didn't know where my next meal was coming from or what it might be.  There have been times when I've bought some bread and a block of cheese and lived off of that for several days, simply because that was all I could afford.  Nowadays, food is plentiful, and I don't really have any possibility of not having a meal (though who knows what may happen tomorrow!), but I try to keep in mind just how important it is to be grateful for this fact.  I have enough to eat, and that's more than a whole lot of people on this planet can say--it's estimated that 25,000 people die every day from starvation and causes related to malnourishment, yet I live in a land of plenty and I have the means of making sure that I have all the food I need.  Heck, we even throw some food away sometimes, though we do make a strong effort to avoid doing so.  But when I sit down to dinner, I make an effort always to be thankful for the fact that I have a dinner to sit down to, and I truly believe that that gratitude is one of the things that makes my life richer.

Romanticizing Nature--A Paragraph a Day

I really love nature--going for walks and runs and hikes and spending time in forests and in water and on a bike and in the desert.  I think it's kind of funny, though, how we tend to romanticize almost everything to do with nature, and how we claim that nature's ways are always the best ways.  All we need to do to get a great idea of just how incredibly dangerous and cruel nature can be is watch a good program on nature to see how many animals kill each other just for the chance to mate; how many animals are killed as food when they were just minding their own business; how some animals actually use other animals' bodies as food for their young.  Animals tend to be somewhat nervous and paranoid, unless they're on top of the food chain, for they never know what's around that wants to eat them.  I think nature is wonderful, but I certainly wouldn't want to be a bird or an insect or a mammal that at any moment can become someone else's food.  I think I'm fine just where I'm at, doing just what I'm doing, and I have no romantic notions like we hear in the song that says, "I want to live like animals/careless and free," for example.  Just because they don't have to get jobs or pay taxes or go to school doesn't mean that an animal's life is careless.  Their cares tend to be a little more drastic than ours do, because there are very few animals that don't face the possibilities of becoming someone else's dinner.

Common Sense on the Job?--A Paragraph a Day

Sat through another Zoom meeting today, a so-called training that turned out to be nothing more than a couple of people sharing a slide show online and reading it word for word as seventy other people watched.  This sort of thing is very aggravating to me because common sense says that if all you're going to do is read the text of a slide show, then don't force seventy other people to sit through it.  Just send them a copy of the slide show and let them read it themselves.  You reading it out loud isn't going to help anyone to understand it better, but you are wasting time for a lot of people who could be doing other things and who could read the slide show themselves in probably half the time that the meeting took.  I do wonder why it is that on the job, so often common sense is left out in the cold and people keep on doing silly things that don't really make sense.  I know that their hearts are in the right place and they're just trying to do what they're supposed to do, but it would be nice if every once in a while we could all see some common sense rather than being forced to sit there and listen to someone else read words that we're perfectly capable of reading on our own, at a time and in a place that are much more convenient and practical for us.

Work to Be Done--A Paragraph a Day

In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things
are needed: they must be fit for it; they must not do too much of it;
and they must have a sense of success in it--not a doubtful sense,
such as needs some testimony of other people for its confirmation,
but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been
done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.

John Ruskin


I like to work.  It helps to give me a nice feeling of achievement, of accomplishment.  Helps.  My sense of achievement usually doesn't come from the work itself, but the ways that I've put myself into the work to get it done, and hopefully to get it done well.  Sometimes I'm much more relaxed while I'm working than I am when I'm not doing anything.  I never want to get to the point at which I only want to be productive, but I don't mind liking the feeling when I have it.  It's very easy, I think, to allow work to overwhelm us, to take over our lives, basically, and I never want that to happen to me either.  I like work because I keep it in a balance--just enough work balanced with just enough rest balanced with just enough recreation.  It's a delicate balance to keep, of course, but one that's necessary.  After all, there's always work to be done, and we do it better when we come at it from a place of peace and balance rather than overwhelming ourselves with just another task to be done.  I like working, and I hope that I never stop working.  But I also hope that I never make work the center of my world, for that would be a very sad center when all is said and done.

Some Days Are Just Cold--A Paragraph a Day

I can't tell you how many times I've been planning on going running when I've looked out the window and seen a terribly cold and windy day.  There are few things that make me less inclined to run than a very cold wind, but the fact of the matter is that some of the nicest runs I've ever done have been on days that look completely unsuited for running.  I've run in rainstorms that have been simply wonderful, wind that has been harsh but rewarding, cold that has been bitter but fulfilling.  All of the so-called "bad" weather simply seems to add a challenge to the running; it's a test of character, it seems, as well as a test of my physical ability to run in adverse conditions.  There are some days that are so bitter, of course, that I'm glad to stay inside tucked comfortably beneath a blanket, reading a book and listening to music instead of being outside fighting the elements.  But all is all, my experience tells me that what the weather looks like is rarely the full story--often the cold wind is invigorating rather than debilitating, and the rain is wonderfully wet rather than miserably wet.  I always try to keep this lesson in mind when I face decisions in life, too--often the choice that looks to be extremely negative can turn out to be the most positive thing for me, and I try to balance my tendency to want to be safe and warm with my need to take a risk every once in a while and try something that looks to be rather difficult or unpleasant.  Often, I find that I'm surprised at how positive things turn out.

Where My Thoughts Take Me--A Paragraph a Day

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. . . take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.     -Marcus Aurelius

It's true that our thoughts take us places.  We like to cling to the illusion that we're in complete control of our thoughts, but we definitely aren't.  They have a life of their own, and they often take us to places that we don't really want to go, especially when we're feeling down or lonely or confused or just lost.  Our thoughts can make us feel terrible when we otherwise would just be feeling a bit down, and our thoughts have a way of feeding off of each other, growing stronger somehow as they grow more negative.  One of my lifelong goals has been to not allow my thoughts to take me to dark places, to not allow them to control me.  I spent too many years dealing with severe depression, and I know that much of that depression was caused by my negative thoughts feeding off of each other and growing stronger and stronger until they overwhelmed me.  I've spent years trying to train myself to focus on positive thoughts, and to try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones as soon as I recognize them.  I'm still not extremely good at it, but I'm better.  And I'm glad for that because I really didn't like the places that my negative thoughts took me, and I really do like the places that my positive thoughts open up to me.

The Flaws in Young People--A Paragraph a Day

Don't laugh at youth for their affectations; they are only trying on one face after another to find their own.
-Logan P. Smith

I'm always amazed at how often I see older people so very ready to criticize younger people for pretty much anything they do.  It's like these older people have forgotten that they, too, were once young, and that they, too, did some really silly and crazy things.  They like to point out flaws in younger people without acknowledging the fact that most of what these young people know, they were taught by people older than they are.  I feel bad for the young people when I hear others criticize them for their actions or their thoughts or their perspective on life, knowing that these things have been strongly influenced by the older people who have been teaching them--in one way or another--their whole lives long.  Yes, young people make mistakes and do some silly things, but they have good reason to do so.  They're young, they're impressionable, and they're trying to figure things out in their lives, often without having ever learned just how to figure things out.  Personally, I enjoy being with them because they are trying, and they are doing their best.  I'd much rather spend time around young people who are doing their best to become the people they should be than spend time around older people who don't have anything better to do with their time than to criticize the young.

Life without Music?--A Paragraph a Day

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space
between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
-Maya Angelou

I try to imagine life without music sometimes, but I can't do it.  I don't know why or how, but all my thinking seems to made stronger with music.  I can concentrate better when I'm listening to music, and the quality of my work--whatever I'm working on--is higher.  I don't absolutely need music, of course, and silence is also one of my best friends, but music certainly is a wonderful element of my life.  And good music is simply good music to me, and I can listen to the same songs over and over again, as long as they're good (to my mind, anyway).  I tend to think in melody, and the songs that have the strongest effect on me are the songs that have the strongest melodies.  I think that's why jazz isn't a musical genre that I enjoy, because the lack of strong melodies is almost a trademark of jazz.  My life is richer because of the music that I listen to, and while I would be just fine without it, everything certainly is fuller and more enjoyable with it.  Music is a wonderful element of my life, and I'm very grateful that it's here with me in so many ways!

Beautiful Storms--A Paragraph a Day

We've had a beautiful winter storm all day today--heavy and steady snow from sunup to sundown, and it's still going strong.  Storms like this are fairly rare in my experience, so it's nice to have the chance to watch the snow come down heavily all day.  I like the way that snow looks and the way that it feels--and the way it makes the whole world look completely different for a time.  I don't mind shoveling it, though when it's thick and heavy like today, one certainly earns the hot chocolate that one gets to make after an hour or so of shoveling.  I've heard many people refer to this kind of storm as "bad" weather, as if there's something inherently not good in a steady storm, but to me, it's among the best kinds of weather.  I was fortunate today to be able to be in a warm house with food and shelter, so my perspective is a somewhat privileged one when it comes to this storm, but my privilege doesn't change the truth of the matter--sometimes the storms in our lives are absolutely beautiful, but we look so long and hard at what they keep us from doing that we never even recognize the beauty inherent in them.  Storms can be destructive, of course, but that doesn't mean that they don't come with a beauty all their own.

Here and Now--A Paragraph a Day

The present is passed over in the race for the future; the here is
neglected in favor of the there.  Enjoy the moment, even if it
means merely a walk in the country.   -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

In Aldous Huxley's last novel, Island, he writes about birds who are trained to speak.  If I remember right, they say two things:  "Attention!" and "Here and now."  When I read this book when I was much younger, I didn't see the importance of those two phrases.  As I grow older, though, they speak volumes to me in just a few words.  Huxley understood the importance of being aware of the present moment, right now, and right here.  That's the only time and the only place that matter, after all--there really isn't much more to life than those two things.  We think a lot about our pasts, but we can't do anything to change them.  We worry about the future or look forward to it, but that's spending the present moment focused on something that hasn't come yet, at the expense of the things that are all around us, all the time.  I think that if I could choose to be better at something, it just might be being present in the present moment.  And not just being present, but looking at the present moment in such a way that I always enjoy it--at least, as long as the present moments are even in the least bit enjoyable.  Whether I make the most of the moments that life brings to me or not depends upon me, of course, and I hope I live up to the fact that life has given me many many blessings.  I hope that I recognize them, appreciate them, and make the most of them, with each present moment that passes.

What Is Generous?--A Paragraph a Day

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.

Albert Camus

I'd like to think that I'm a generous person, but I'm not sure that it's so, for I'm not quite sure what is truly generous.  I'm not sure how to define the word, and I'm not quite sure if what I believe to be generosity truly is what I think it is.  Sometimes we give for our own benefit, to make ourselves feel better or look good to others.  Is it truly generous when I give something to a thrift store that I don't need any more?  There are those who say that it's not really generous if I don't need the object to begin with, and I can see their point.  I would like to be able to give whatever someone else needs when they need it, no matter what the cost to me, but I honestly don't think that I'm at a point at which I can do so.  That's okay, I think--I'm not going to get angry at myself for not being as generous as I'd like to be, and as long as I keep working towards being more generous, I think I'm on the right track.  I probably need to eventually decide on what I think that a generous person truly is, and work my way towards becoming more like that person each day that I'm alive.

Tired Shouldn't Always Win Out--A Paragraph a Day

I get tired a lot, I believe mostly because I try to put everything I can into everything I do (or at least, into those things that are worth my all).  Sometimes in the evening, it's all I can do to keep my eyes open while I'm watching some sort of show (I usually watch about an hour of something each evening).  I've come to learn, though, that the tiredness isn't so strong when I change up what I do--if I go for a walk, I find new energy and alertness; if I go out to the shop and start puttering, I don't struggle to keep my eyes open.  If I start to do some sort of work other than reading or paperwork, it's pretty easy for me to stay awake.  I don't have any problem with being tired or going to bed early, as I like to get up early in the morning in any case.  But sometimes it's nice to change things up and make a run to the store to keep myself awake, and to remind myself that there is life in the world after six o'clock.  Sometimes when we're dragging and we feel like we don't have any energy, one of the best things for us is to do something that takes energy and effort, and we may just be surprised at how much energy we find in ourselves when we do so.

Cold Winter Days--A Paragraph a Day

Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments,
embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour.

John Boswell


I like to be active, and I like to be doing something.  I don't feel terribly stressed if I'm not, but it's just what I like to do, and how I like to be.  So when I finish work in the afternoon and I come home and the cold winter weather forces me to stay inside, not doing what I might have liked to do, it can be kind of frustrating.  Over the course of time, though, I've learned to accept these days for exactly what they are--they're kind of a gift, an opportunity for me to relax and to enjoy an afternoon that I probably wouldn't have enjoyed otherwise because it's simply too cold and windy and raw and bitter out.  It used to be that I might even have felt a bit of guilt for not going outside to get something done, but I'm past that now.  I can now simply enjoy the down time, the quiet time, the rest and relaxation.  I don't always need to be doing something and accomplishing something, and sometimes a nice quiet afternoon on the couch can be the best thing for me, especially when it's cold and windy outside and the house is nice and cozy and comfy.  I'm very fortunate to have a home that I love, where I feel comfortable and where I can enjoy such a day in warmth and comfort and coziness.  It really is an amazing blessing.

Can I Be More Gentle?--A Paragraph a Day

Only the weak are cruel.  Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.

Leo Buscaglia

I love the idea of being gentle, and I love the paradox of gentleness being one of our greatest strengths.  I think that not enough of us understand the importance of such a paradox because we're taught from such an early age that it's important for us to be strong, to not let other people walk all over us, to look out for number one.  It's true, though, that only strong people can be truly gentle without being weak, because those people who are gentle understand the importance of being so.  If I'm gentle, other people can feel better in my presence.  They can trust me more, and they can relax and not feel fear.  If I truly want to be helpful to other people, then it's important for me to put them in a state of mind in which they'll actually accept help from me.  Gentleness is by no means weakness, for we need confidence in ourselves if we're to put ourselves in an often vulnerable situation when we show gentleness.  I hope that as time goes on I can be more gentle in more situations, because I have a limited amount of time here on this planet, and I want to give as much help as I can while I'm here.  While there certainly can be times for strength and a lack of gentleness, me being gentle has much more potential to be truly helpful to others than does me being strong.

Am I Happy?--A Paragraph a Day

My creed is this:
Happiness is the only good.
The place to be happy is here.
The time to be happy is now.
The way to be happy is to make others so.

Robert G. Ingersoll

I often wonder if I'm happy, which seems like an odd thing to say.  I mean, I'm certainly doing my best to make the best of all the world has given me and still has to offer me, but I couldn't really tell you whether or not I'm happy.  Perhaps it doesn't matter at all--I'm making the best of my life, so why should a word that may or may not mean anything significant throw me off?  Is there really such a thing as happiness, or is it enough to be content with our lot in life and to keep on keeping on, doing our best to love others and give to others and to enjoy things like hot baths on Sunday evenings and good wine with some garlic crackers before dinner?  Perhaps we put too much importance on a concept that simply can't be defined with any degree of accuracy:  happiness for you necessarily must be different than what I see as happiness, no?  So maybe the best thing that we can do is to do away with the word when we consider our goals and purposes in life.  Perhaps this abstract concept that defines absolute definition has been leading us astray, and the best thing that we can do is to enjoy what we have, when we have it, and to make the most of the gifts that we've been given in these lives that we lead.  I'd like to be happy, of course--but is there really such a thing?