30 November 2017

Why Let Go?



There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind.  But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.  -unattributed

Thich Nhat Hanh says that we don't let go of things like suffering because we fear the unknown more than we dislike the suffering--we don't let go because what's known, even if it's pain, is less scary to us.  And that's a shame because by holding on to the pain and the suffering, we're definitely keeping ourselves from being happy, from reaching our potential, from helping other people to deal with their pain and suffering.

When we start to let go of things, we start to live our lives fully and completely.  We start to create space in our lives for other things that may be more helpful to us, more positive for us, more useful to us in our struggle to become the people we're meant to be.  When we hold on, we're telling life that we don't trust it--that we fear losing everything if we let go of this one thing.  We fear being alone if we let go of a destructive relationship; we fear having nothing positive to do if we let go of an addictive behavior; we fear not having anything at all if we let go of some of our material possessions.

When we let go of many things, though, we open ourselves up to new things, new people, new experiences.  We give ourselves the opportunity to see and feel and do new things, and we help ourselves to move on from the status quo into something new and possibly exciting.

I like to collect things.  Because of my upbringing, much of that trait is due to the lack of security that I felt growing up, and it's not the most positive of ways to approach life and living.  Now that I'm older, though, and I've learned that I can trust life and living, and that I'm not going to find myself with nothing at all just because I give certain things up, I can and I do let go of things.  Sometimes I let go of people who have turned out to be destructive to me.  Sometimes I let go of possessions--books that I fear I'll want to read again and cd's that I fear I may need to listen to again, but that in reality are going to end up sitting on a shelf for the next five years, never used, if I don't give them up.  Sometimes I give up behaviors that have become "safe" for me, but that are really keeping me from taking risks and trying new and different things.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Can I let go of this without causing a major disruption in my life?"

And then I say to myself, "Perhaps a major disruption is just what I need."

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