Grief

When our spirit tells us it is time to weep, we should weep.  It is part of the ritual, if you will, of putting sadness in perspective and gaining control of the situation. . . . Grief has a purpose.  Grieving does not mean you are weak  It is the first step toward regaining balance and strength.  Grieving is part of the tempering process.   -Joseph M. Marshall III

We tend to look at grief as a response to losing something or somebody in our lives, especially to death.  And while we like to tell people to take their time and grieve, we also tend to suggest to people who are grieving that it's important to move on with their lives and not let the grief consume them.  As with everything else there must be balance, of course, but coming to terms with grief is something that none of us can understand for others, and it's important that we respect the grief of others and let it fulfill its purpose.

There's a myth in many cultures that says that human beings always have to be "strong," though strong isn't really well defined.  Refusing to grieve and simply moving on with your life when faced with loss is not a productive way of dealing with adversity; nor is it an effective way of achieving balance in our lives.  Allowing ourselves to grieve is truly the only way of moving past difficult losses, and the decision of whether to grieve or not is ours alone.

We grieve when we lose loved ones and acquaintances; we grieve when we lose jobs or even some material objects that have special meaning to us; we grieve when we graduate from school and "lose" the routines that have become so normal to us.  If we don't grieve, these things can stick with us for a very long time--and while there's no need to try to repress the memories of them, we do need to make sure that those memories don't bring us down any more, and that they don't ruin what otherwise might be a very positive time in our lives.

We must allow ourselves to grieve, and we must allow others to grieve in their own ways, in their own time.  Moving on with our lives depends upon how we grieve, and it's up to us to make sure we do so fully.


Questions to consider:

Why do so many people seem to be so uncomfortable with grief?

In what ways are you most comfortable grieving?

How do our lives play out if we don't allow ourselves to grieve a significant loss?


(From our new year of daily meditations, in progress now.)