When we think of the origins of all that we do, the love is quite obvious. We invite friends and family to our homes because we want to share what we have, and we want to show the love that we feel for them. And when friends and families are coming over, we naturally want to cook for them--sharing a meal is one of the oldest and most common traditions that is based on sharing love, for when we feed someone else, we're literally contributing to helping them live.
We buy gifts for people because we think of what they need or would like to have, and we want to provide for that need or fulfill that desire, simply because we love them, not because we want anything from them. We spend time thinking of or looking for just the right gift for each person, and then we purchase it or make it for them, just because we want to show that person how much we care for them. After all, if we can give just the right gift, then we show that we actually know a person, and how many of us feel loved when someone else knows us well enough to know what we like? I know that I do.
I think that much of the stress of Christmas comes from taking on too many tasks--too many ways to show others that we love them. Rather than enjoying simple holidays with simple gifts, we tend to feel that what we have to offer just isn't enough, so we decide to offer more. After all, more is better, right? Not at all.
Showing our love is a tremendously important part of our lives, but when we try to overdo it, a lot of things can happen. We get stressed because we have so many things to do, and when that happens, what we're doing becomes less an act of love and more a task that has to be done. When we don't see what we're doing as something that benefits those we love, we see it as something else, don't we? If we can focus on the love, we can do the tasks lovingly; if we're worried that we won't finish baking in time to wrap all the presents, then we start to feel stress and our baking is one of the causes of stress.
We've all seen it happen: good people with good hearts take on too much and they become cranky and stressed. They snap at people and they're not in nearly as good a mood as they usually are. Because they're stressed, the work that they're doing loses much of its meaning and they may even start to resent the work. The love becomes secondary, or even tertiary--if it's even there at all any more. And Christmas becomes, in their eyes, almost an enemy, a time of the year that brings stress and frustration and hectic days and nights.
Of course, it doesn't have to be that way. We can refrain from trying to do everything for everyone, and when that question comes up, "If I don't do, who will?", then maybe the best answer is "No one." Perhaps that particular task doesn't need to be done this Christmas, and we can take a step towards simplifying our holiday season. Or perhaps there's someone else who is more than willing to do that certain task--a young child who wants to take on a new responsibility, maybe--and we can make things easier on ourselves by letting someone else do some of the things we normally feel that we need to do.
It is a shame when we lose the beauty of the season to the stress of the season. But we really do have a choice in the matter--it's not always an easy choice, but the choice is there. And one thing I know for sure from experience is that I would much rather do without certain things and see the people I love enjoying the holiday than have "everything" at the cost of some people I love being so stressed out that they forget the message of love around which this holiday is based. Be the loving person, and put yourself in a position in which you're fully present to each moment the season brings, sharing your love actively with the people around you. You'll feel much better when you do so, and just as importantly, the people you love will be glad to have the full, loving you present.
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