what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner,
waiting to change all the tenor of our lives. -Kathleen Norris
Personally, I have a very hard time feeling helpless, even at my somewhat advanced age these days. I know where this feeling comes from, having learned a lot about personality traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics over the last couple of decades, but knowing where it comes from doesn't lessen the feeling. Watching the world today and seeing all the hatred and anger and lawlessness--on the part of the US government, no less--makes me want to be out there doing something about it. I want to be in Minneapolis protesting the constant violations of Constitutional law on the part of supposed "law enforcement" officers. I want to be at the court when ICE detains someone who has come to an appointment in an effort to do the right thing and follow the correct processes for applying for refuge or citizenship. I want to be in a congressional meeting to ask our supposed representatives why they're voting to pass laws that hurt millions of Americans and benefit only the already-wealthy. I feel helpless sitting at home and being unable to do these things.
Of course, the fact that I'm living in Portugal makes that feeling even stronger when it comes to thinking about the United States. (My wife and I are mainly here in Portugal because we wouldn't be able to retire in the States for many more years, while we are able to live comfortably here on the moderate income we get from Social Security.)
But one of the keys that I've learned about feelings of helplessness is that they are just that: feelings. The truth is that none of us are helpless, and none of us are unable to make contributions to the good and the just in the world if we really want to do so. The truth is also that very, very few of us are able to make differences on a national or global scale--the world doesn't function that way. Imagine if everyone had the same gifts and abilities, and everyone were able to be change-makers on a national or international scale--what kinds of chaos would we see then?
We can make differences, though, in our own worlds, among the people and organizations with whom and in which we function regularly. We can add to the positive energy of the world by sharing encouragement and positivity. If I'm watching the news and I see something happen that I can't influence in any way at all, I can turn around and do something positive that may not affect the situation I just saw on the TV or computer, but which may have very positive effects on very real human beings who could definitely use something positive in their lives.
I can't keep the shooter from killing people, but I can help a young person to learn a new skill, or provide food for a family that's struggling. I can't keep the US from attacking Iran, but I can give donations to organizations that help millions of people every year--or I can donate my time and effort to those organizations, helping to provide that help.
Of course, helplessness can be more than feelings. If someone points a gun at me and pulls the trigger, there's virtually nothing that I can do to stop the bullet. When someone I know continues to act in ways that are self-destructive, I am helpless if they're somewhere that I'm not--if they're a thousand miles away from me, then there's literally nothing I can do to change a decision that they just made. If the government raises taxes significantly in a legal way, there's not much I can do except pay the new tax rate if I want to continue to live where I live--and don't want to end up in jail.
The world is going to change, and it's going to change constantly. And we do have to change with it if we're not going to feel even more helpless--we can see plenty of people who never learned how to use computers feeling completely helpless when it comes to things like online banking or using phones these days. Most of the people who can't use the phones, for example, are more than capable of doing so, but they're just constantly deciding not to do so. My mother spent years being completely unable to use the phones and complaining constantly about not being able to use them, until her situation made it absolutely necessary for her to learn--and she did so. All of the time she had spent feeling helpless and stressed out, and all of the time she spent insisting that she simply couldn't learn how to use them turned out to be wasted time, and very frustrating time for her and for the other people in her life.
The world is changing quickly these days, isn't it? And while there's absolutely no need for us to be proficient in every new technology or knowledgeable about every new development in the world, it is up to us to stay up with the changes that affect us directly if we're to live lives that are fulfilling and satisfying. We can't ignore change and still expect to thrive. The main questions for us are simple: which changes are those that we need to adopt and adapt to, and which are ones that we can actually have some influence on? If we let the world continue to change without us being a part of at least some of those changes, we're going to find ourselves in very helpless--and possibly hopeless--situations.
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