Acceptance (In Today's World)

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts
of a situation, then deciding what you're going to do about it.
-Kathleen Casey Theisen


I'll be very honest--it's become very difficult to accept the things that are happening in the United States these days.  The masked "law-enforcement" officers, the deportations of people who don't deserve to be deported, the pardoning of scores of guilty people who were given fair trials--the list goes on and on, and it's getting worse and worse.  And the unjustified murder of an unarmed woman in Minnesota seems to be the next step in the escalation of actions and policies designed to sow chaos and disorder, to pit people against each other on political and ideological bases, and to keep people from trusting anyone, anywhere.

But accept these things we must, because until we acknowledge the truth that things are not going to go back to how they used to be, we'll never be able to move forward, away from the awful things that are going on.

No matter how much we don't want to admit it, the current situations in this world make it impossible to go back to any sort of "good old days."  We may want to say things like "There's no way that I'll accept a killing in Minnesota," but when one says such a thing, then one is talking about denial, not ethics or morals.  If anything is going to change in this world, then the current facts must be accepted as a first step towards change.  Things are as they are, and pretending they aren't happening is to sabotage any chance for healthy change.

Accepting the fact that a woman was killed in her car while doing nothing wrong does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that you somehow condone the action.  It does not mean that you support the people who did it.  It doesn't mean that you don't care about it.  It simply means that you're willing to say "Yes, this did happen."  "Yes, I live in a country in which a man wearing a uniform is allowed to kill anyone he wants without facing any repercussions so far, and who is actually defended by many people in positions of power."

And acknowledging that fact along with all the other horrible things going on means that we're aware of them, and that we know that change has to come from the place we're at, not from the place we wish we were.  Alcoholics can't really start to overcome their alcoholism until they accept the fact that they're alcoholics.  Until I accept the fact that the kitchen faucet is broken, I can't fix it.  And when I do work on it, I undertake the job knowing that it's broken, not hoping that it's going to miraculously fix itself and be as good as it was last year at this time.

Acceptance is often very difficult.  Right now, it's very hard for me to accept that the country I've lived in for many decades is no longer the same country as it was when I was a kid--opportunities for everyone have dried up as the wealth disparities grow more and more pronounced, and the spending power of the money we earn shrinks regularly.  The amount of debt that young people have to rack up in order to get a college education cripples them, and simply sabotages their futures.  The young people I know today simply don't have the opportunities ahead of them that they would have had at the same age forty years ago.  These are simple facts, and I can't ignore them or deny their importance.

But I still hope for change.  I hope for improvement.  I know that it can't come from me, for I have no real influence on any policies or policy makers, but I accept the fact that I can't affect things directly, and I still try to affect things indirectly as much as I can.  I've taught for almost forty years because I've wanted to do all I can to help young people to know things that would help them in life, and I can keep on teaching, hoping to help people to see directions they can go and methods they can use to bring about change themselves.  I accept my limitations because I know that I can still accomplish something, but I don't waste my time or energy doing things that won't have any effect at all.

Acceptance is not submission.  Acceptance is strength, acceptance is clear-headedness, and acceptance is awareness.  Acceptance is one of the first things that has to happen before any change can be implemented, and it's one of the most important elements of our lives.

Preparing for a New Year (In Today's World)

It depends on us. . . Another year lies before us like an unwritten page,
an unspent coin, an unwalked road.  How the pages will read,
what treasures will be gained in exchange for time,
or what we find along the way, will largely depend on us.   -Esther Baldwin York


It's almost time to welcome a new year into our lives.  Although the measurement of years is a completely artificial way of dealing with the concept of time, most of us subscribe to it to one extent or another, so starting a new year in our lives does matter to most of us.  We see the "new start" as a fresh opportunity for change, for beginning new projects, for repairing relationships, for learning new skills, for getting in shape. . . the list is very, very long, obviously.

From what I've been hearing and reading over the last year, though, it seems like many people are not seeing the "opportunity" part of the new year, especially people who have lost jobs or who are making much less money than they made last year, or are spending so much more on basic living expenses that they don't see any way possible for them to take on anything new.  And all of the people who are going to have to spend much more money every month for health insurance are facing a year when they'll probably be struggling to keep their heads above water, much less thrive or be able to fill their new year with new goals or projects.

A mother who's now going to have to pay much more for insurance this coming year won't have the income necessary to take the college courses she needs in order to advance in her job or to change jobs.  A family that has seen its work diminish severely due to economic factors such as tariffs, which are making the less wealthy people suffer more than anyone else, won't be able to afford to take that vacation they've been planning on, and they won't be able to afford the extra classes that their son or daughter needs.  Families that are paying much more for utilities, rent, or mortgages will be stuck just trying to get by.

Of course, the most important element of getting ready for the new year is accepting the reality it currently presents, the possibilities and limitations, for they're real for most of us.  Accepting a limitation does NOT mean that we think we can't do anything to get over it, of course, but unless we accept it for what it is currently, we simply won't be able to try to overcome it.  Acceptance means that we know what our current situation is, and that our plans fit realistically into the reality we're living.  If my disposable income is $500 a month, then I probably shouldn't be planning a summer in France.

Personally, my wife and I see many such limitations in our future, as we've recently retired and we'll be living on that famous "fixed income" that definitely limits our possibilities.  The first thing we did in order to retire was to move to a country that's much less expensive than the States, because we want our money to stretch as far as possible while we still try to maintain a basic quality of life.  We're not people who have inherited lots of money or who have a home that's completely paid off, so the income we get will be it.  The good side is that by moving, we were actually able to retire--had we stayed in the States, we would have had to keep working at least another ten years, probably.  So our planning for the next year is rather simple--we'll take many day trips to explore our new surroundings, but we won't be planning any extensive vacations for the year.  For us, this will be a year of settling in and getting used to life in a new country and to new ways of life.

What will your new year look like?  Will this be a year of being careful with money?  If so, how can you still maintain a decent quality of life while spending less?  Does this mean fewer meals out, fewer trips, and fewer luxuries?  Perhaps this can be a year of focusing on improving family relationships or friendships.  Maybe it's a year to spend at home, strengthening your home life.  Many people find time that they spend at home to be beneficial because they can read more and do more things with their families.  Perhaps a game night each week can strengthen ties better than a meal in a restaurant can.

Or will your financial situation not change significantly, so you can continue to do the things that you like to do, that make life more interesting and enjoyable?  You can still look for ways to strengthen relationships that you already have, to improve the home you live in, to contribute to the neighborhood you live in.  Maybe it's time to buy a few books on something that fascinates you, and learn more about it.

Or will you be doing even better financially, so you can do some things that you've dreamed of doing for a long time?  Then congratulations, and have fun!  Just try to keep in mind that those people who use at least some of their money to help others tend to be happier and feel a stronger sense of purpose and fulfillment.  Giving back to the world is one of those things that everyone sees in different ways, but that tend to make people happier and more emotionally well-balanced.

Your new year is coming up, or has already started, depending on when you're reading this.  Right now, you're just thinking of what's coming and how you're going to deal with it all.  I would say that Esther is right--what this year becomes definitely will be affected by outside circumstances, but will mostly depend on us and how we approach the year.  Once we accept where we are and what we have and what we don't have, we can get to work trying to improve things, if necessary, or to maintain things that should be maintained.  My main hope is that you're able to make your coming year a wonderful year indeed, in both your own life and in the lives of the people with whom you associate in one way or another.  What we make of 2026 is up to us, isn't it?

 

Christmas Wishes (In Today's World)

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past,
courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow
with blessings rich and eternal, and that every
path may lead to peace.

Agnes M. Pharo


Somehow, Christmas has always been a time when people like to think about other people, to think about what it means to be a kind, compassionate, caring human being who does good for other people without worrying about their nationalities, their skin color, their sexual orientation, their native language, or any of those other things that so many people lean on to justify their biases and prejudices.  Unfortunately, though, so many people in our world have allowed themselves to fall into the trap of allowing their biases and prejudices to dominate their world-view, and they've allowed those things to also dominate their decision-making processes, so we live in a world that's divided, among people who fear each other more than they love each other, who hate each other for no real reason, and who don't trust each other even on the most basic of levels.

But here we are--no matter how we feel about the world today or the ways that people are treating each other, we're in the middle of it all, right here, right now.  and realizing this truth calls us more than ever to be true to who we are, to our principles, to whatever ethical codes that we hold dear.  Do we feel that human beings should show kindness and compassion to each other?  Then we need to be showing kindness and compassion ourselves--and perhaps trying to show more of each in a world in which it seems that both qualities are in short supply.

Do we feel that there needs to be more love and hope in our world?  Then we need to start with ourselves, and make sure that we keep love in mind when we deal with others--we can't preach love while our own hearts and spirits aren't in a loving state.  And it's not easy to maintain a loving state when we see so many awful things being done to others who are helpless to defend themselves.

Christmas, of course, is a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus, even though his birthday was likely not in December.  And if the holiday is about honoring Jesus--religious beliefs or preferences aside--then it seems to me that we should be thinking about things that Jesus taught.  After all, we're all encouraged to think about civil rights on Martin Luther King's birthday, and freedom on Lincoln's birthday, etc.  But because of the historic truth of the "Christian" churches committing all sorts of crimes against humanity, the teachings of the man take a back seat to the myth of the man's words that have been warped by religious leaders who have been doing little more than trying to justify their own awful deeds by presenting Jesus' words in ways that will make them seem to be following those very words, when in fact they're violating the man's teachings.

So my main Christmas wish would be that the people who believe that Jesus was the Messiah could start to actually understand what Jesus taught, and follow his true teachings, rather than simply listening to other people who are presenting their interpretations of the man's words.  Perhaps Jesus could come back for a few months and start an online course that he could make mandatory for anyone who calls themselves Christian, a course that will spell out explicitly what it means to follow the words of a man who taught kindness and compassion and love for one's neighbor.  If this would happen, MANY politicians would lose their next chance to be reelected, and MANY pastors and priests would be out of a job, taking them out of positions in which they influence people.

And that may be my only wish because I think it would be a great start.  If this were to happen, so much of the hypocrisy and discrimination in the world would cease, and we might not need anything more than this to create a kinder and gentler world.  I think I'll hold off on any other wishes until I see how this one turns out. . . .

'Tis the Season (In Today's World)

For me, the spirit of Christmas is about
letting the loving but messy little rituals
become just as important as the solemn
and graceful ones.  It's about making
room for everyone.   -Ann Michael


It's going to be difficult this year, I think, to celebrate Christmas without having the thought in the back of my mind that celebrations are somehow inappropriate or out of place.  After all, the world is going through so many challenges now that make things seem almost hopeless.  The war that Russia started in the Ukraine drags on, while people are still dying.  The conflicts between Israelis and Palestinians continue to claim lives, while militants in African nations have killed over 20,000 people this year.  The US is continuing to kill people on boats near Venezuela, and is indicating that war may be imminent.  Millions of families have been devastated by poverty and illegal ICE detentions and layoffs.  The list could go on for the rest of this page, it seems.

But so this is Christmas.  'Tis the season of peace and love and joy, or at least it's supposed to be for Christians.  Unfortunately, many Christians in the United States have become radicalized, and they've warped the main messages that Jesus taught:  Love one another, help one another, be kind to one another.  This new dynamic most definitely does diminish the message of Christmas, unless we're able to separate those people who have adopted radical and inappropriate interpretations of Christian teaching and the Bible from the holiday itself, which can still stand as a beacon of hope and love and even joy.

My Christmas is going to be separate from the radical, hate-filled messages of the people who aren't able to separate their politics from their religion.  If I'm to celebrate Christmas properly, then I need to focus on love and compassion, on others and their needs.  And I need to make sure that I take advantage of my personal situations in order to make the most of them--I'm not going to be able to celebrate love if all I do is focus on the negative things going on in the world.  I don't want to forget them, but I also can't let them bring me down.  If I were in a terrible situation myself, I would want people who weren't in the same situation as I to go on with their lives, and to live fully and take advantage of all they have available to them.

Which is not to say that I would fully understand someone who decides to "cancel" Christmas in solidarity with those who aren't able to celebrate because of life situations that have been pushed upon them by others.  Would the lack of celebration for just one year be a sign of giving up completely, of letting the world get us down?  Absolutely not.  It could be a very strong message to others that our commitment to other human beings is strong and that the well-being of others is just as important to me as my own well-being.  I know that there are people who are deciding to do just this, and I understand completely where they're coming from--they're not letting the world situations get them down; rather, they're standing strong in the face of those situations and doing what they feel is right, in their own way.

We're going to celebrate, because much of the rest of the world is going to celebrate.  We want to stand together with the people in the world who want to celebrate the ideas of love and kindness and giving and compassion.  I'll enjoy the lights and the music, and I'll give gifts to as many people as I can to show that I'm thinking about them and that they mean a lot to me.

Life is difficult right now for many, many people.  Life is difficult for me at the moment, but I still have things much, much better than millions of other people do.  And even in difficult times, I wouldn't want people who are in better situations to avoid celebrations that are legitimately worth celebrating.

So here's to celebrating a Christmas during which we focus on loving one another, and healing one another.  A Christmas during which we share kindness and caring for one another, and during which we celebrate the wonderful potential we all have to help others in this life, and to give all that we can to the other people who share this planet with us.  I wish you a very merry Christmas, and I hope that we all can work together to bring more love into the world in the hope that the love will drive out the hatred and fear and anger.

Finding and Maintaining Peace (in Today's World)

Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune
or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock
during a thunderstorm.

Robert Louis Stevenson


This has been one of my biggest difficulties during the last few years--finding peace of mind and peace of heart in a world that seems hellbent on creating chaos, stripping people of their peace in order to try to get them to act in certain ways, to buy certain things, to refuse to do certain things.  How do we go about making sure that our minds are "quiet"?  What do we need to do to have peace of mind in a world in which government agencies are acting just like Nazis, in which masked "officers of the law" are stripping people of their constitutional rights, and institutions such as the Supreme Court--which is charged specifically with protecting the Constitution--are not only turning a blind eye to abuses, but actually encouraging and allowing them?  In a world in which one country just spent two years killing civilians in the "country" next to them, and faced no international repercussions?  In a world in which one country can invade another, killing civilians for no justifiable reason, just to try to take over territory, and face no effective international response at all?

I'm not talking about losing peace because of guilt, though some might say that we should feel guilty about others suffering so much.  Rather, I'm talking about simple compassion, feeling the pain that others are feeling rather than simply talking about it.  The question I ask myself constantly is basically, "Why am I so privileged to have all I need and to face no real threats to my security or well-being each day, when so many others are literally facing death each day through no fault of their own?"  I do appreciate the fact that my life and well-being are rather secure, but I feel very strongly that that should be the truth for everyone on this planet, not just a select few.  And the reality that it isn't the truth makes it hard for me to be at complete peace with myself and my place in the world.

I'm not saying that I blame myself for anything, or that I spend sleepless nights thinking about children dying of starvation in a country far away from me (though perhaps that would be justified).  Rather, I want to continue to be a kind and compassionate person, having a positive effect on the world (no matter how small).  And it's very difficult to think that the positive effect I may have grows less and less significant as time goes on.  It feels like the two sides of the scale are growing more and more unequal, and my contributions do less and less to balance the two sides--this is unequivocal, no matter how sincere or even strong my contribution is.

I can have peace in my own corner of the world, of course, which is my highest priority.  I can feel peace about the ways that I treat others and about what I try to give the world in my own personal ways.  When all is said and done, though, I do know that there's much more to the world than what I see and experience every day, and knowing that there's so much pain and cruelty and dysfunction out there gives me cause to stop and consider why so many people are going through agony when I'm living a life that's pretty much free from it.  I don't have to worry about anyone coming to my door and arresting me because of the color of my skin or my religion or my country of origin--but I do know that many of my fellow human beings on the planet where we all live do have to worry about those things and much, much more--including being killed by bombs or missiles or gunfire or even beatings.

And if I'm to live my life fully, I know that my life must be a life of compassion and empathy.  But should my compassion and empathy cause me to lose my peace of mind?  Must I walk around feeling down and depressed all the time because other people are suffering?  Of course not.  If someone dear to me dies, I wouldn't spend the rest of my days being miserable because of the loss.

But I do feel that I must take other people's suffering seriously, and not forget the people who are dealing with terrible problems every single day, while things are going well for me.  But I feel that I'm still responsible to be grateful for all that I have, to feel wonder and awe for the world around me, to feel love for all that surrounds me--and to keep in mind the fact that not everyone has things as good as I have them.  Keeping this in mind will keep me humble, I believe, knowing that I'm very fortunate to have the blessings I enjoy.  It will also keep me grateful for and mindful of all that is in my life.

Knowing that others are starving won't keep me from buying food for myself or even eating in a restaurant, but it may help me to be more responsible when I choose what I buy.  Knowing that others are huddled in houses hoping that bombs won't kill them won't keep me from going for a walk in the park or a hike in the woods, but it can help me to appreciate my ability to do so without the threat of dying.  Knowing that others don't have access to medical care won't keep me from visiting a doctor when I need to, but it just might help me to feel gratitude for the fact that I can do so.

If I can keep my sense of balance, my equanimity, then my peace will not leave me, and my life can be fuller because of that peace.  I can sleep better at night, and I can enjoy better sleep and lower blood pressure and stronger health due to the peace that I feel.  I may live in a world that invites me to feel stressed, to feel tension every moment due to the unfairness and danger that so many humans face, but when the simple fact is that I can do nothing--or very little--to help those others, my responsibility becomes to simply and carefully live my life as fully as I can, helping others as much as I can and as well as I can so that I'm contributing to the peace and love and hope of the world rather than being destroyed by the anger and hatred and violence in it.

Thanksgiving (In Today's World)

Be thankful for all those who have helped you to grow--
 your teachers, parents, employers, friends, spiritual guides,
and others, acknowledging them by name.  Be thankful for
the good books which you have read, inspiring sermons and
talks you have heard, as well as your own notebooks and journals.

Finally, be thankful for the challenge of your own personal future.
Be thankful for your dreams, your ideals, your hopes.
There are unlimited possibilities ahead.   --Wilferd A. Peterson


Thanksgiving day comes tomorrow in the United States, and I have to say that it's difficult to think about sitting around a table being grateful for all that we have when there are so many people in the country sitting in cells, facing deportation, even if they've been contributing members of our society for years or even decades, just because they got a traffic ticket ten years ago.  They're facing deportation to countries they've never been in, where they have no family or friends to support them.

It's hard to focus on my own Thanksgiving when I know that so many people are going to lose health insurance because they can't afford it any more, and that so many people can't even afford to do their food shopping these days.  Hundreds of thousands of people have lost their jobs this calendar year, so they're not going to be able to furnish their normal Thanksgiving day dinner--much less provide their families with many of the things that make for a "normal" Christmas.  And that's just in the States--we still have the horrors of Gaza and the Ukraine to consider, among many other ways in which people are suffering in this world of ours.

Of course, Thanksgiving day can be wonderful for me if I forget these people and the trials they're going through, but it's impossible to do that and still have a feeling of connection to all humanity.  I'm a part of humanity, not a little island all on my own.  "No man [person] is an island entire of itself," wrote John Donne; "every man [person] is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."  And if I am a part of humanity, then other people's suffering will affect me--it's simply one of the effects of empathy and compassion.

That doesn't mean that I have to be miserable, though, thinking about how others are suffering.  But it does mean that when I think of myself as a part of the whole, and I know that many who are also part of that same whole are suffering greatly, it's important that I keep them in mind, that I keep them in my heart, that I keep them in my prayers, however I choose to pray.  I am thankful--extremely thankful--that I have enough money and other resources to wake up each morning in safety, and that I don't face any world-changing threats to the life I'm living at the moment.  I can give thanks for what I have, but I need to recognize that it wouldn't take all that much to put me in a desperate situation, for then I can feel more empathy and compassion for those who are suffering, and I can look for ways that I can take little actions that might help them make their ways through difficult times.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday, and I most definitely will be thankful tomorrow (as I try to be every day).  But in that thankfulness will be more than just a bit of sadness and frustration as I think of the millions of my fellow human beings who are struggling and suffering.  I don't want to let that thought diminish my own gratitude, of course, for the things and the people I have in my life, but I don't want to be so strongly focused on the blessings that I have that I forget about the people whose blessings are much less abundant than mine.  I hope that everyone is in my prayers and thoughts tomorrow, for love is, of course, what makes the world go 'round, and my conscious awareness of the struggles of others is definitely a show of love.  The world is rarely moved in great ways to make great changes; rather, it's nudged in healthier and more loving directions by the many prayers and small actions that we all can say and take each day.

Sharing Compassion (in Today's World)

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening
our circle of compassion to embrace all living
creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.
-Albert Einstein


In this age of division, is it possible that compassion is our key to somehow finding unity once more?  Some of our leaders want us to think that in order to end division, we must "defeat" those who disagree with us.  Others feel that the key to unity is finding common ground even among our division and disagreement, to acknowledge the rights that others have to think and feel as they do, to accept them and their thoughts, and to work together even when we disagree on some points.

Compassion is "feeling with" someone, trying to understand their actions and thoughts and motivations.  It's rather easy to feel compassion for someone who obviously deserves it--the person who's been injured, the friend who has lost their home, the someone who has been abused.  But when we can't easily see the actual sadness, when we don't know the sources of a person's problems, it can be much more difficult.  That person who is against what I'm for more than likely has had some very poor teachers in their life, people who taught them to hate and to resent rather than to love and respect.  And we don't know what led them to actually believe this teacher, to follow their advice.  But it's very possible that even though this person is doing bad things, they're in great pain themselves, and it may be that pain that's leading them to hate, to judge, to harm others.

Since we can never really know what's going on in another's life, it seems that the most effective approach we can take is to make compassion our default response.  That doesn't mean that we should accept and approve of all that other people do, but if we can act around them with compassion, then we can understand that their harmful actions may be the result of great pain in their lives, rather than character flaws or simply being "wrong" or "stupid."

Many people have received poor educations, and it would be unfair of us to judge their words or actions by the same standards that we would expect from someone who's been educated deeply and broadly.  Some people are so afraid of everything that they base their prejudices and biases on their fear, and not on anything concrete or even logical.  And most of them never realize just how much power they give to their own fears.

In a world in which it seems like compassion is dying, just who's going to keep it alive?  Well, I can, and you can.  We're not obligated to do so, of course, but compassion sure seems important enough to me that I want to do all that I can to make sure that it doesn't disappear completely from humanity.  I must foster it, maintain it, share it freely--even with those who don't "seem" to deserve it, and let it be a guiding force in my own life if I'm ever going to have the chance to call myself a "compassionate person."  And on the day that I die, that's a term that I hope more than one person uses to describe who I was when I was here.