23 October 2015

Dealing with My Beliefs

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself.  We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem.  We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.    -Iyanla Vanzant

I'm working on my beliefs.  I've been going through life with a set of limiting beliefs ever since childhood--I inherited them from my parents, and I haven't been able to fully change them yet.  I've always believed that good things are for other people, that prosperity is something that won't happen to me, that someone else is going to get that job or that promotion.  And sometimes, because I believe these things, they actually come to pass.  Not always, but often.  So it's up to me to change my beliefs if I really want my life to change.

Don't worry--I'm not blindly believing everything I read from self-help gurus.  I don't think that there's any magic potion or wand that's going to change my whole life immediately.  My new belief--the belief that my beliefs are holding me back--comes from observation and thought, experience and reflection.  I've noticed that people who believe certain things tend to think in certain ways that make those beliefs come true.  If someone believes that he or she doesn't deserve to have a loving, caring, considerate spouse, then guess what?  That person is going to tend to feel suspicious when he or she meets a loving, caring, and considerate person, and isn't going to feel comfortable with the relationship; very often, that person will sabotage the relationship--even subconsciously--in order to perpetuate the belief.  And then, when that person meets someone else who isn't kind and caring, they'll gravitate towards that person because he or she "fits" the belief, and is someone who's more in line with what they feel they "deserve."

People who believe that they're not good enough for certain jobs often sabotage themselves at interviews by saying things that kill their chances to be hired.  Later, they'll say things like "I have no idea why I said that."

I don't want to be like that.  Not anymore.  So I'm going to work on my beliefs.  I am worthy.  I am caring and loving.  I am deserving of good things.  Hell, I'm even a beautiful person.

I'm going to be realistic and not expect immediate and drastic changes.  But I'm also going to be realistic and expect changes.  Most of those changes will come from me, but many of them will come from the ways that other people treat me as I internalize my beliefs, and begin to act based on my new beliefs.  But eventually, I'll be like a new person, one who trusts in life and living and God, and one who lives my life in positive and caring ways.  And one who believes that he is worthwhile, and who expects to be treated as such.

No comments:

Post a Comment