Battling Ignorance (in Today's World)

There is no evil in the universe which is not the result
of ignorance, and which would not, if we were ready
and willing to learn its lesson, lead us to a higher wisdom,
and then vanish away.   -James Allen


One of the most incredible defining features of our current world is the extreme amount of ignorance to be found among people of all social groups, of all economic groups, of all nationalities.  Unfortunately, ignorance has become a tool for many of the world's politicians, just as poverty has always been a tool.  The politicians understand that if the population is literate, then voters will be able to recognize the lies that politicians regularly use to get elected, and then they more than likely wouldn't vote for the candidate come election time.  The current situation in the United States is due to this dynamic--the quality of education in the States has been declining steadily over the past four decades or so, and as a result, we have many millions of people who are willing to accept lies as truth, and to repeat those lies to others, presenting them as "facts."  They do no research on their own to find out if something is true or not, because it's easier just to believe the people who are lying to them.  Something like Fox News isn't an accident--it's a carefully crafted tool designed to make people think they know facts that support one political party, while simultaneously getting them to hate and fear the "opposition," or those who don't agree with them politically.

So what do we do about this?  In these days when ignorance not only has been institutionalized but also is celebrated, what can we do?  Of course, as with all else we have to start with ourselves if we want to be making our lives all they can be.  We need to educate ourselves, first of all, on the issues that truly matter to us.  We obviously don't need to be experts on virtually everything, but we do need to be able to back ourselves up if we're going to be discussing important issues.  And we need to make sure that our sources of information aren't solely those that we've chosen because we like what they say.  We need to listen even to people with whom we disagree--at least, listen to them until their arguments are proven to be fallacious.  Part of our research can be simply to read a certain amount of news each day, paying close attention to the sources of any information we may use to back up our own arguments.  It's also important that we actually listen to opposing arguments, partly out of respect, and partially to understand exactly what the other person is trying to say.

I will always be ignorant of certain subjects.  I'm not an economist, and I never shall be--but there are plenty of people who are experts in that field, and if I find some that are trustworthy, then I can have a valid opinion on the directions a national economy should go, based on what I've learned from their expertise.  I don't have to have a degree in economics to have a solid understanding of what's going on in the world economically.

We don't want to be ignorant--but we have to make an effort to learn if we're going to be able to say that we're truly not ignorant.  And each of us always will be ignorant of certain things--after all, ignorance is simply not knowing something, isn't it?  The problem that we're facing is that ignorant people are claiming to know things that they truly don't know, and to introduce laws that support their biases and prejudices, rather than make life better for everyone.  And that kind of ignorance is harming many, over and over again.  This is a struggle that has to start by looking at oneself and making sure that we're doing all we can to make sure we're not part of the problem.

We Really Do Need Hope (in Today's World)

If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed.  But we
are more than logical.  We are human beings, and we
have faith, and we have hope, and we can work.   -Jacques Cousteau


In some ways, I've come close to losing my hope these days--and why wouldn't I?  In my country, the system of checks and balances that our government is supposedly based on has crumbled, and is completely failing the country now.  We have politicians who, because of superiority of numbers, are able to do virtually anything they please, without facing any consequences, for they've seen the flaws in the system and rather than fix those flaws, they exploit them, to the harm of all.  I'm watching people violate Constitutional law constantly while facing absolutely NO repercussions for doing so.  I'm seeing families torn apart while people pat each other on the back for having done so--even though no one in those families has done anything to deserve that fate.  It's depressing, and it's disheartening.  And to be completely honest, I believe it's all quite evil.

But I do hope.  I have the hope that things will turn eventually.  I don't know what it will take--a general or two to finally stand up and fulfill their vows to uphold the Constitution?  A group of people elected in the mid-terms who can turn the tide and help to keep the rule of law from being violated constantly?  I know in my heart, unfortunately, that we face the prospect of the entire country being sucked into an abyss of corruption and violation of law, but sometimes things have to be broken down completely in order to be rebuilt better.

My hope is that better times are ahead, especially for our young people, who don't deserve the obstacles that we've put in front of them by simply accepting all that happens in our government and in the business world.  I have hope that we can allow our humanity to shine in the ways that we spread kindness and love and compassion.  I have hope that we can work together, rather than yell at each other across a great divide.  I have hope that we shall overcome, and not submit.  I have hope that Love will find a way.

Kindness Can Still Go a Long Way (in Today's World)

Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care
and kindness of our parents.  And then later on in our life,
when we are oppressed by sickness and become old, we are
again dependent on the kindness of others.  And since at
the beginning and end of our lives, we are so dependent
on others' kindness, how can it be in the middle
that we neglect kindness towards others?

the Dalai Lama


We see and feel a whole lot of negative energy in the world today--so much so that it's practically overwhelming.  I often find myself thinking that with so much hatred and anger and malice and prejudice constantly being shown right before our eyes, how can we possibly do anything in our own small ways that will make any sort of difference?  And when that happens to me, I remind myself that my responsibility isn't to change the world--it's to affect in positive ways the worlds that I live in--the world of my family, the world of my friends, the world of my workplace.  And in that world, I can contribute to the positive energy very simply by being kind.  If someone angers me, I can show patience and kindness; if someone is feeling down, I can give encouraging words; if someone has a particular need, I can meet that need, or teach that someone how to meet that need themselves; if someone's feeling lonely or isolated, I can give them a small and simple gift--even a simple candy bar can be a wonderful gift.  There are many, many ways that I can be kind, many ways that I can contribute to the positive energy of this world we live in.

My kindness, of course, isn't going to fix the world.  It isn't going to cause authoritarian regimes to crumble, and it isn't going to fix the lives of families that have been terribly harmed by unfair and uncalled-for detentions of loved ones.  It isn't going to restore the jobs of the hundreds of thousands of people who have been fired this year for no good reason.  But we have to start somewhere, and in my heart I know that if there's any good place to start adding to the positive energy of the world, then kindness just may be it.  And if we spread our modest kindness with love in our hearts, then we're also adding the positive energy of love as well.  And we can definitely hope that our kindness will be passed on, which will make things even better.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel that what we do means nothing.  But kindness never means nothing, and in today's world, our attempts to keep kindness from going extinct can only help the world, no matter how modest our efforts may seem to us.

Being Aware (in Today's World)

You don’t need to push the water to enter the bean.  You let
the bean be in the water, and slowly, slowly the water is absorbed.
Overnight the bean gets soaked, swollen, and tender.  You are like
these mung beans and awareness is the water.  The practice is to
bring your mind gently back to the present moment with your body
and unify body and mind.  The tension will slowly dissipate, your
awareness will grow, and you can see things in a clearer way.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

In some ways, I don't want to be aware any more.  There are so many things that I see that simply make me crazy and angry and frustrated and hopeless--but I know that it's my reaction to what I see that's causing me stress, not what I see itself.  I have to keep reminding myself that in these times of turmoil, my awareness is more important than ever.  I don't need to dwell on the news, and I certainly don't need to doomscroll through social media to constantly make myself feel worse, but I do need to know what's going on.  Some people may need me to explain it to them in a logical, objective way.  There may be causes that arise that I can participate in.  I may know about historical events that were similar to what's going on now, and I can explain the parallels and differences to others.  My ignorance about what goes on in the world serves no one.  My awareness at least has the potential to serve others and to serve me, myself.

I do choose carefully which sources to get my news from, and how much news to actually read at any given time.  My awareness is important to me, but I want to be aware of things as accurately as I can.  I can reach overload, though, especially these days, so it's important that I recognize when I need to turn off the flow of incoming news and opinions.  Otherwise, it would be very easy for me to get completely overwhelmed and to lose my sense of balance in the world.

We don't need to know everything--if we tried to, we'd probably go crazy.  But we do need to know that bad things are happening all over the place in many different areas--in U.S. politics, in global climate change, in the Middle East, in Africa, in China--the world seems to be in turmoil almost everywhere, and unless we want to allow that turmoil to sneak up on us and surprise us with something horrible someday, we need to be aware of happenings and trends and changes that are going on if we want to have even the slightest chance of making the most of the lives we have in a world that is most certainly not at peace these days.

Awareness.  It's not up to us to change the world ourselves, and we can't save everyone everywhere, but we can be aware, for our own sakes and for the sakes of other people who are part of our lives.  So let's keep our eyes and ears and hearts open so that we can at least be aware of what's going on, and what may happen because of what's going on.  There may be nothing more important for us these days than to know what's going on in the world--the world in general, and the microworld(s) that we live in ourselves.

Gentleness--Living in Today's World

Is the concept of Living Life Fully even helpful these days?  Are all of the words and ideas and concepts that encourage people to live their lives fully out of date and irrelevant?  This series is inspired simply by the state of the world today--we're living in a world of division and anger and even hatred, and at times it seems impossible to feel any sort of peace with all that's going on.  It seems for many people that their stability and safety in life are being stripped away, leaving them to fend for themselves in a world that doesn't seem to want to help.  Personally, I'm not at all fond of the directions our world is taking, and I'm very frustrated that there seems to be little to nothing that I'm able to do to make anything better for anyone--I just have to go along for the ride as everyone else does.  As I go, though, I want to look for the little things I might be able to do to make the world a more pleasant place for others--spreading kind words, being considerate and polite, encouraging and complimenting--all little things, but for someone with no real wealth and no way to accumulate wealth, they're ways that I can contribute to the positive energy of the world--and when we add my contribution to your contribution to his contribution to the contributions of thousands of other people, suddenly it doesn't seem so trivial.

Can you commit to spreading as much positive energy, as many positive thoughts and ideas, as you can each day?  I really do believe that it's going to take each one of us who truly wants a kind and gentle world in which EVERYONE feels loved and accepted to focus on our own efforts, and make sure that they're consistent and consistently kind and positive.

The world seems to be in an awful state--but is it hopeless?  I hope not--the history of humankind has always been a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs and brutal moves from left to right and back again, and we find ourselves in one of the valleys now, when human nature is being shown in so many ugly and unpleasant ways.  But I still have my life, and I have my own world to live in, my microworld among the macroenvironments that make up this planet and its people and all of the natural world that's here with us.  One thing that I can do on a tiny level is try to explore the concept of Living Life Fully and how it can be achieved in a world that seems so darned unfriendly.  After all, my doctorate is in Teaching and Learning, and I've done a lot of learning in my life.  Perhaps it's time for me to pass on what I've learned in small doses, with the intent of helping others to see more clearly some of the concepts that I've learned about, and to help others put into practice strategies that can help them to get more out of the lives that they're living.

So here goes.  Today I start with Gentleness, a concept that many people today see as weakness, but which can be one of the most effective strategies we can adopt in the effort to live our lives more fully.  We must remember that our gentleness doesn't need to be world-changing in order to be important or effective.  But it will be life-changing, both for us and for those people who are on the receiving end of our gentle actions.


Gentleness

Only the weak are cruel.  Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.    -Leo Buscaglia


We're seeing a lot of cruelty in the world today, and it can be very tempting to want to completely do away with it, to want to change the hearts of cruel people so that they're no longer cruel.  We can't do that, though.  No matter how many people post negative attacks on cruel people on social media, the fact is that tomorrow, the cruel people will still be here, and they'll still be cruel.  We change very little by attacking, but we can change a lot by being gentle and kind.  Today I'm going to do my best to be gentle:  to give a gentle response to an aggressive person; to gently remind someone that being kind to others is important; to gently correct someone with the truth when they're spewing lies.  Gentleness doesn't always have immediate effects, but the long-term effects can be extremely awesome; we just have to trust that our gentleness today will have a positive effect on the world tomorrow.  We can let the weak be cruel, but it would be a terrible thing to emulate them simply to placate them.  We can disagree with them aggressively, which will probably cause more conflict, or we can gently correct them, and put our hopes in long-term effects rather than short-term returns.  When we're gentle, we're giving hope to others that perhaps things can get better, and I hope that my gentleness will sooth an aching soul rather than rile it up even further.

Finding Fits--Being Young Today

For those of us who are older, who have been around a relatively long time on this planet, the lives of our young people tend to be a bit beyond our comprehension.  It's very difficult--if not impossible--for us to understand just what they're going through as they try to make their ways in life, as they try to establish themselves and their personalities and their identities.  They face a world that's far more complicated and far more difficult than most of what we had to face years ago, for the world that they're living in is very, very different from the world in which we established ourselves.

One of the most glaringly obvious differences that we see all the time is the fact that young people today carry around computers, having access 24/7 to a huge amount of information, entertainment, and content designed to addict users.  While there are those who argue that such access to a world of information is a wonderful advantage for our young people, it's becoming clear that this access is sabotaging many of their academic, professional, and social pursuits.  To make things short, though, one of the most dire effects of the computer on our young people is its tendency to isolate them, to keep them addicted to looking at a screen rather than interacting with their fellow human beings, and that's something that we need to recognize and that we need to do something about--for their sake, not for ours.

Most of us grew up being forced to interact regularly with our fellow human beings, whether that be in school or at the store or in the park or playground.  These days, though, we see empty parks and playgrounds constantly, as kids are at home in front of screens instead of outside dealing with the world they live in.  Of course, all of our interactions with others weren't positive when we were younger, but they all helped us to learn about the world and the people in it.  We learned social skills that have helped us professionally and personally, and we've been able to put those skills to use in our jobs and in our daily lives.  (Unfortunately, those of us who are older don't have nearly as many opportunities to interact with young people these days, which makes it difficult to pass on knowledge and wisdom that we've gained over the years--but that's a different essay, isn't it?)

As a high school teacher up until a few months ago, I've seen huge changes in the young people with whom I've worked.  Speaking in general, of course, the young people of today's world are dealing with many issues that we didn't really have to deal with.  They tend to feel a sense of isolation that was much less common three or five decades ago--parents are less accessible, friends are less accessible, and teachers and other role model/mentor figures are less accessible.  Mostly this has to do with two things: overcommitment and screen addictions, including both phone screens and television/streaming screens.  And I'm not saying the kids are those who are addicted.  When I was young, neither of my parents were addicted to screens, which meant that they weren't constantly distracted by things like reels and social media (in my family that didn't help much due to the highly dysfunctional nature of my family, but that's another story).  I knew plenty of kids who spent plenty of time with their parents, which can be one of the most valuable learning experiences we have.  Nowadays, even when a parent is with a kid, that parent is very often talking on the phone with someone else or scrolling through social media or looking at emails.  The kids get to "spend time" with a parent, but experience being neglected because the parent "prefers" the company of the phone to the company of their child.  It's a brutal message to send to a kid.

Likewise, many kids find that the "friends" they have at school aren't going to be friends outside of school because those kids are too busy.  They're going to soccer practice and then they're going to tutoring and then they're working and then they're playing video games or watching movies--they're doing something with a screen involved.  Spending time with friends is something they have to make an appointment to do, and they can do it only when their "friends" happen to be free for a few moments.

This isn't the story of every young person, of course.  And in countries other than the United States, the screen isn't nearly as dominant a presence in the lives of young people--kids still get together to be kids, to spend time together, to enjoy each other's company, to simply be.

But what does all this mean?  Mostly, I try to keep this fact in mind when I meet young people and I think of how I want to treat them.  I really do want to treat them with dignity and respect, as they're not being treated that way regularly.  They're facing tons of expectations even though they're being rather poorly prepared to meet those expectations.  We can't neglect kids and then expect them to be strong, contributing members of our society.  But if we treat them well, teach them well, and love and encourage them, they have a much better chance to succeed, both on their own terms and the terms that are defined by society.

I want kids to succeed.  I want them to be happy and to lead fulfilling lives.  The next time you see a kid, remember that that young person is leading a life and a very young age that we couldn't have imagined when we were that young, and show them some kindness and compassion, and let them know that there is at least one adult in their lives who cares about them and who cares about what they're going to be later in life.

You never know when your encouragement and caring will be just the thing that a young person needs as a catalyst that helps them to keep going, to keep trying, and simply to keep growing.

In a Different World

My wife and  I are in agreement recently--the world we live in isn't the world we grew up in.  And of course, immediately after a statement like that, it's tempting to say, "Nonsense--the world hasn't changed.  We're the ones who have changed, and we now see things differently."  And it's also quite tempting to believe this statement, to believe that the hopes and dreams that we grew up with are still valid, and still have the possibility of coming true.

But I don't think it's that simple.  Personally, I define the "world" as more than just the planet we live on.  It also includes the people we're with, the societies we've formed, the cultures that we've developed, the plants and animals that share the planet with us, and the many, many abstract concepts and ideas that we share, such as love, hope, peace, dreams, and compassion, among many others.  And unfortunately, there are a whole lot of other abstract concepts that are much more negative, much more harmful, but which have grown much, much stronger than they ever have been in my lifetime.

To start with the physical, though, of course this planet is not the same as it was when I was born.  Since then, we as human beings have continued to use the resources the planet holds, but we've done so unsustainably, without giving back much of anything to the planet itself.  We've destroyed forests, wetlands, mountains, rivers, and oceans, without doing much in the way of repair.  The ozone allows more radiation through than it used to, and the planet isn't able to cool itself as it used to, which has created a warming trend for the planet that threatens to destroy all the life on it.  Oceans are warming, icebergs and glaciers are melting, deserts are spreading, and the planet as a whole is getting hotter and hotter with each passing day.

These are scientific facts that have been well researched, yet many human beings just shake their heads and say there's no problem.  Which brings up the second reality--people are different than they used to be, for several very important reasons.  In general, people are more isolated, especially in what we call "first-world" countries.  In part, the isolation is stronger because of our penchant for living in our own houses, separate from everyone else.  Most Americans, I would guess, are pretty much slaves to their cars--most aren't within walking distance of a supermarket or store where they can get basic groceries.  If the kids have a game somewhere, a car is necessary to get them there.  Many people can go days without seeing any of their neighbors, for they simply go to their cars in the morning, drive to work, drive home and go indoors, where they stay until the next morning's journey to the car.

This is not a healthy environment to exist in, believe it or not.  And I believe that this physical distancing is a large part of what allows the distances in beliefs and perspectives to grow so great, to grow so strong.  The person who disagrees with me politically is now a threat to my way of life, my view of the world, and I'm not allowed to simply disagree--now there has to be conflict (but more on that later).  The most insidious aspect of this new dynamic is that when we're isolated, it's easier for us to see anyone "different" as a threat, and we react to threats more strongly than we react to disagreements.

As a teacher for the last thirty years or so, I've always been able to tell my students that they can get ahead if they're willing to work hard, to be true to themselves and their abilities, and to make certain short-term sacrifices in order to achieve long-term gains.  But I can't tell them that any more.  Young people today are facing a harsh and unforgiving world, and nowhere is that more obvious than in the cost of housing.  We used to be able to go out on our own at a young age--rent an apartment, get a job, save a little money and keep working towards something better.  But young people today can't do that.  The cost of housing is so high that many have to live with parents, or share the cost of even a simple apartment with others in order to afford it.

And why is housing so expensive?  Simply because the people who have money already have found new ways to use housing as a way to get even more money, and the money that they're adding to their portfolios has to come from somewhere.  Housing is being bought up by speculators, and it's being built and financed by people who want to maximize profit, which means that the people who want to buy or rent apartments or houses have to pay top dollar.  You don't have to look any further than the credit checks that are necessary just to rent an apartment now--many young people simply can't pass such credit checks because they haven't had time to establish credit yet.  And with student loans on their records, guess what?

We live in a different world, and it's impossible for us to know the feelings that the young people feel when they find door after door closed to them, through no fault of their own.  We're so caught up in trying to look out for number one that we're ignoring the effects that our actions are having on the young.

I could go on and on, and eventually, I shall--the world that we're presenting to our young people is significantly different than the world we grew up in, in many different ways.  And as someone who likes to encourage people to live their lives fully, I find it difficult to do so when those people have the decks stacked against them before they even start trying to make their ways into the world.

What this all means, I don't know yet.  But I'm going to keep exploring it until I find out or until I die, whichever comes first.  What does "Living Life Fully" mean in the world of today, and how can we make the concept a possibility for everyone, not just a privileged few?

Let's keep trying to figure it out, because even if the answer is buried out there somewhere, we aren't going to find it unless we look for it.

Life without Busyness

If work and leisure are soon to be subordinated to this
one utopian principle--absolute busyness--then utopia
and melancholy will come to coincide:  an age without conflict
will dawn, perpetually busy--and without consciousness.

Gunther Grass


I think we may be near the age that Gunther warned about, if we're not there already.  I've known plenty of people in my life who have been so extremely addicted to working that they hardly do anything else at all, and they rarely if ever have time available to spend with other people--even their own families.  And if they're satisfied with the results they're seeing, then who am I to tell them that what they're doing is harmful?  It's very common to watch other people make drastic mistakes that will harm them in the long term, but be unable to convince them that a change would help them because they see the world only in the short term.

One of my goals of the last couple of decades has been to not be too busy to enjoy life.  I didn't want to get so caught up in work and tasks around the house and other obligations that I wasn't able to do things that I enjoy, and spend time with people whose company I enjoy.  I found that it was relatively easy to do so, for it took some simple decision-making that was rather painless.  Personally, I like being a helpful person, but at time in my past I've been somewhat too helpful, and lost some valuable opportunities for some very nice experiences because I committed myself to help someone else.  Interestingly enough, whenever I've helped others, it's always seemed that they didn't really need much help at all, or that they could have easily done the job themselves.  My presence wasn't at all necessary, and my time could have been much better spent elsewhere.

Of course, that's not always true.  There are plenty of legitimate opportunities to help people and organizations that truly do need our help.  What I've learned, though, is that that person doesn't have to be me.  There are plenty of other people who are able to help just as well--or even better--than I can.  And if someone else is doing the work, I have time to do something that can be reinvigorating, rejuvenating, for me.

We face a lot of pressure to make ourselves busy meeting other people's needs.  Many other people have gotten very good at getting others to do their work for them, or at least a part of it.  The boss at work can pressure a subordinate to take on extra tasks; the person in a relationship with us can manipulate or guilt-trip us into spending our time on things we don't necessarily want to be doing.

Our task as human beings who are responsible for our own well-being is to make sure that we don't overextend or overcommit ourselves.  We need to be sure that we don't sabotage the chances we have to be happy and to live life on our own terms, rather than spending our precious time on tasks that we take on because others ask us to do so.  Personally, I'm working on this right now because I just retired, and I want to make sure that any time ahead of me is going to be spent wisely, with a balance between living and working, being busy doing tasks and being busy taking care of myself (see below).  No matter where we are in life, it may be a good idea to step back from the busyness and make sure that what we're spending our time on is fulfilling and healthy, and that we don't get so busy doing things for others that we spend no time doing things for ourselves.  Because we're each worth it.


I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.
I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.
Sometimes, this is my busy -
and I will not apologize for it.

Brittin Oakman

From Whom Can I Learn?

If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will
happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly
harmed.  It is the person who continues in their self-deception
and ignorance who is harmed.     -Marcus Aurelius


What Marcus says here would not be received well by many people in the 21st-century United States.  Somehow, many people in this country have completely shut out the possibility that someone who disagrees with them may actually be right, so when we're wrong, we become "the person who continues in their self-deception and ignorance."  We won't even consider the possibility that someone we disagree with could teach us something, so a huge portion of the population, for us, is eliminated as a possible source of learning.

What has happened to the concept of having an open mind, of listening to others--no matter what their background--to see if they know something that we don't know, to see if they can teach us something?  Having an open mind means listening to what another person says without putting it through the filters that we so often employ:  What is their political party?  What is their gender?  What is their race?

And on and on.

If we want to live our lives fully, it's very important that we learn from virtually anyone.  That doesn't mean that we have to approve of their paths in life or of decisions that they make--it simply means that we hear what they say and weigh in our minds whether it makes sense or not, whether there's something to learn there or not.  If someone gives me good advice but I ignore it because of whom he voted for in the last election, then I'm going to limit myself and miss opportunities because I've been judgmental about another human being.  I can blame it on his or her vote if I want to, but the truth is that the fault lies with me and my unwillingness to listen.

What Marcus is talking about is our tendency to not want to be told that we're wrong.  If I were to take something that isn't mine, for example, and the guy next door told me that it was wrong to take it, would I respect his opinion more if he voted for the same person I voted for?  Because the truth of the matter is that my action was wrong, no matter who tells me so.  But if I can dismiss what the person tells me because I don't agree with him on politics, or because I know he's a racist, or because I know that he's done something wrong himself, then I'm losing out on an important learning experience.  And really, all we have in life is our learning--the only way to improve ourselves as human beings is to learn more about life and living, and people we agree with or respect aren't the only possible teachers out there.

Criticism is often much easier to take when it comes from someone we know and trust.  We tend to be more willing to listen to people who have a track record of supporting us rather than putting us down or arguing with us.  But we really should be able and willing to listen to everyone who has something to say about what we do.  And once it's said, then we can decide whether the words are meant to help us or to hurt us, if the words have been constructive or destructive.  And once we've figured that out, it's up to us to take the words to heart or to reject them, to make changes based on what we've heard or to continue on in the same ways as before.

My self-deception helps no one, and it can cause a lot of harm.  Some of the most important things that I've learned in life have come from people I didn't even like, especially in the form of teachers at all levels from grade school to college.  The teachers I've liked have taught me a great deal, but so have the teachers I haven't liked at all.  If I'm doing something very wrong, I hope to be told so, so that I can make some changes that will allow me to get things right, and that will thus allow me to help others more often and more effectively, which is, after all, my main purpose for being here (at least, that's what I believe it to be).
  
  
  

   
   

Finding Happiness in Connection

On our own, feeling alienated from the world we had been
created from, cut off from the full extent of its abundance,
people were no longer happy.  We began to search for the
happiness we had lost.  When we found something that
reminded us of it, we tried to possess it and accumulate
more--thereby introducing Stress into our lives.  But searching
for lasting happiness and accumulating temporary
substitutes for it brought us no satisfaction.    -Benjamin Hoff, The Te of Piglet

When he's using the word "us," Hoff is talking about the people who live in western societies, those places where success has been defined as earning more money and having more things, and those people who have unique skills and talents end up working for some corporate giant or another, never using those skills and letting life slip by without developing their skills in ways that can help others.  It's hard for us to imagine now, but many people used to be able to find happiness without having much to do.  They didn't have computers with which to spend their spare hours; they didn't have movies and television shows that could help them to "escape" reality every now and then; they didn't have boatloads of activities to partake in to keep their minds off of themselves and the lives that they're leading.

Of course, just because people didn't have all of these things in their lives didn't mean that they were necessarily happy.  There were many problems that people dealt with in the past that we don't have to face today--family and friends dying from what are now minor illnesses and injuries; being "stuck" in the town you were born in, without having a real option of leaving; having to take on the family trade for the rest of your life even though you end up doing something that you don't really like.  These are just a few of the many ways that life was harder for many people in the past than it is today.

I don't know if even Hoff could tell us when we started to feel "alienated from the world we had been created from."  My guess is that it's long, long, long ago, because we are now truly separated, most of us completely.  There are many people who never spend any time in nature, even for a walk in the park.  Most of us use the natural world as a short-term escape from what basically has ended up being our lives:  stress, work, tension, deadlines, judgment, conflict.  Many of us do search out activities that can help us balance these things, but doing that doesn't eliminate the effects that the modern world has on us; rather, it simply provides us with moments of clarity and even happiness, but these are moments that we almost inevitably leave behind us in order to go back to our daily lives.

So are things hopeless?  I don't think so.  Can our happy moments be extended and expanded, meaning that we're happier more often than not?  I think they can.

So does Hoff, of course.  His first sentence tells us very clearly that he sees the way to be happy as not "feeling alienated from the world we had been created from."  This simply means looking at the lives that we're living and identifying the things that we do that alienate us from the world.  Do we spend too much time indoors, being entertained passively by television or Internet?  Do we spend too much time in our cars, never going for walks and feeling the fresh air and smelling and hearing the world around us?

Do we make time for experiences with the natural world, including getting together to talk with friends?  They're a part of the natural world, too, but we see them so rarely, or only during certain occasions, like church services or activities at our kids' schools.  Do we know someplace where we can buy tomatoes straight off the vine instead of buying them at the supermarket, where they're typically anywhere from one to six weeks old.  Do we have any places in nature where we can go for some simple quiet time, where we can listen to nothing but the sounds of the birds and bugs and any animals, and simply enjoy not having anything that we have to be doing at the present moment?

We don't need to become hermits, and we don't have to go for extended camping trips in the middle of nowhere if we want to counter the alienation that we feel from nature.  We simply need to make decisions that put us with it and in it.  Instead of a trip to the mall, a hike could be invigorating.  Instead of another lunch in a restaurant or fast-food joint, a picnic lunch by a lake or in a park can give us energy and raise our spirits.  Many, many people have pointed to our loss of connection with nature as a major cause of unhappiness, so perhaps it's time to pay attention to them and make some sort of connection that can help us to feel more at home in the world.

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush
of scenery-- air, mountains, trees,
people.  I thought, "This is what
it is to be happy.”

Sylvia Plath

Maintaining a Haven--More thoughts of what a site should be in these trying days

One of the things that I've always wanted Living Life Fully to be is an online haven.  I've wanted it to be a place where people can come to find positive thoughts when they've needed them, to find solace when life has become tempestuous, to find good when they seem to be surrounded or inundated with bad.  After all, there are already plenty of websites where people can find political content that addresses the difficulties and wrongs of our current world--so what's wrong with providing a place that's dedicated to peace and understanding and kindness and compassion?

The answer is simple, of course:  there's nothing wrong with it.  It's nice to provide a site full of content that's devoted to helping us to accept life and live it as it is, and to find ways to change things that would be better off changed (once we've accepted those things, of course).

Personally, I'm very much against the current political trends in the United States.  Never in my life did I expect to see in my own country a governmental agency such as ICE that works outside of the law to harass and beat and kidnap people.  Never did I expect to see a president who profiteers from his position and who spews constant insults, lies, and misinformation.  Never did I expect to see representatives and senators who are so afraid of voting against party lines that they refuse to do so, helping laws to be passed that deprive huge numbers of people of many of their much-needed resources and services.

And never did I expect to see such a large part of the American populace not just being okay with all this, but actually celebrating the fact that other people in this country are losing rights and resources and services.  They're celebrating other people's pain and frustration and loss.

But the question I face is whether or not I should use the website to speak out against such things.  And I feel that the answer is in the purpose of the site--to provide people with a place online where they can find uplifting and motivational material all day, every day, any time they wish.  Once I start adding political content, then the site changes, and not everyone will feel welcome there.  I have other ways that I can speak out against political actions and societal problems--I don't have to do so on livinglifefully.com.  So I won't.

That said, I don't want to simply say "The site is what it is and will never change."  That strategy wouldn't help a bit to make the site more helpful and relevant, and it could actually cause the site to be irrelevant sooner rather than later to large numbers of people.  And as I said in my last post, the world is changing, and more and more people are finding themselves displaced, disenfranchised, and frightened and lonely and helpless.  How can the site change to help them, when and if they find it?  What can be added to the content?  How can the presentation change?  What would be most useful to more people?  These are the questions that I must ask myself as the site moves forward in time, and as the world changes around us.  What can I offer the world that would help the world, even in the smallest of ways, without becoming political and probably alienating a large number of people?

Finland has introduced something new into their school curricula:  How to recognize fake news and false information online.  They've recognized that not being able to recognize these things seriously inhibits their citizens' ability to make the most of their lives and to contribute to society in positive ways.  It's a brave new direction to take, and one that most people probably would acknowledge is a necessary step in the world of today.  Hopefully, they'll be successful in Finland--but it's obvious that other countries haven't done anything to deal with some of the new elements that the Internet has brought into our lives.  So much fake news is dedicated to trying to get people to hate or mistrust other people, and we're being more and more divided by this "tool" that is supposed to improve our lives by making more information available to us.  The people who make decisions about school curricula in Finland have recognized this fact, and they're doing something to fight it, through the education of their young people.

I'd like the site to be like Finland--help people to recognize and accept problems, and then take some sort of action to counter them.  In fact, this has been the goal of the site for the last 25+ years.  But I'm feeling and thinking that more and more, the recognition of problems is getting more difficult because people are learning to be more self-righteous, and less willing to look at themselves and their words and actions in a critical way, which is the only way to look at ourselves if we truly want to improve in any way.  And by "critical" I mean critiquing, and not criticizing--there's a huge difference between the two concepts.

What does it mean to maintain a haven while still addressing many of the needs and challenges that people are now facing?  How do I make the site more responsive to some of the awful things that people are experiencing and feeling without turning the site into a politically active site, one that becomes mired in controversy and that takes sides, necessarily leaving some people feeling isolated and alienated?  Do I want to say "This site is only for people who believe what I believe," or do I want to say, "This site is for everyone who wants to come here and read, no matter what your political views or opinions"?

I believe that this last question is rhetorical, of course.  It has to be the latter.  And I say this even though I don't respect many of the opinions that we're seeing expressed these days--opinions that other people's rights don't mean anything, that certain people aren't deserving of the protection of the law, that certain people aren't deserving of any sort of kindness or compassion simply because of their race or their national origin.

But I know that the site must transcend all of these issues, and simply be available for anyone who wants or needs the words of wisdom that come from such a broad spectrum of sources.  And so it shall.

I don't think that any changes that happen have to be changes of content.  Rather, I believe that they must be changes in presentation.  What kinds of quotations and passages should be grouped together on a page?  How might a person find hope in the words of others who have lived through similar trials?  These are the questions that I'll be asking myself as I try to figure out what to do and how to do it.  And as always, any comments or suggestions are more than welcome.  My hope is that the site can be helpful to someone, somewhere, somehow, and I have to let go of any need to know about that helpfulness and just trust that it may happen.

So that's what I'll do.  Thanks for listening, and thanks for being here!

A New Approach? What Does That Mean?

"Living life fully" is a concept that I believe has changed considerably in recent years.  While I still believe that it's very important for us all to do our best to make our lives as positive as possible, and for us to give to the world as much as we can while still taking very good care of ourselves, I'm not sure any more that most people are in situations in which this sort of thing is easy, if it's even possible for them.  The world seems to be in dire straits, and people are treating each other not just carelessly, but even cruelly.  There are many people in the world who are having a hard time just surviving, who would have a terribly difficult time thinking of thriving.

I can't imagine what life must be like for a young person of twelve years in Gaza right now.  For any person in Gaza.  Families have to be having a hard time just finding food to eat, and any words that would tell that young person to make the most of their lives and look on the bright side of things must ring very hollow.  The same goes for the 30-year-old in the Ukraine, the thousands of people being detained illegally in the United States, the young girl somewhere who has just been "given" to an older man for marriage, the young person who just graduated college to find that there are no jobs available in their field.

I do think that in most cases, we actually do determine our own happiness or unhappiness.  We've all read material that shows us that a man in a concentration camp can make a difference for fellow inmates and come out of the experience a stronger person; that a young child can lose a leg in a bombing and transform that loss into something that helps them to appreciate life and help others; that a family member can die and make us even more appreciative of what that person left behind.

But mostly, when we talk about living life fully, we're coming from a position of privilege and good fortune and even good luck--luck that we were born in a certain country at a certain time that allows us the luxury of actually pursuing higher needs because our more basic needs--food, clothing, shelter, absence of war, safe water, work, money--are taken care of.  Not everyone enjoys the fulfillment of these basic needs, and how does someone who doesn't enjoy them react to being told "Being happy is all in your own mind, of your own doing"?

So what does all this mean?  Does it mean that all the work that I've put into the website over the past 27 years has been for naught?  I don't believe so--I think there's much there that's helpful and useful for anyone and everyone.  But I also think that it's time for some sort of new direction, a direction that can be more universally useful, a voice that can speak to anyone, anywhere, with caring and compassion and relevance.  I'm not sure exactly what that means, of course, but I believe that it's time to find out.  Or at least to start experimenting until I do find out.

So if you see any changes on the site in the near future, please know that those changes are being made with the current world in mind, with the idea that life in this world of ours has become so difficult and so complex that we need to explore ideas such as that of living life fully in new ways, ways that can be helpful to more people who have become marginalized and disenfranchised.  I think that what I've been doing for the last 27 years--what I've been giving to the world in the form of a website--has been fine in and of itself, but I also think that we've seen some incredible shifts in life and living over the last couple of decades, and new voices and new approaches are needed.

Any suggestions would be welcome.  Any thoughts, as well.  We have a new world to live in, and the world of the future looks to be even more complex and more difficult for more people, so it's time for a different approach.  Let's see what we can do. . . .

A Very Long Silence, Take 2

This is very difficult to write.  I'm hoping that with time, it will become easier, but who knows?  The fact is that I've been completely silent here for over half a year.  And there are several reasons for that.  I've tried writing something to start over, but I haven't liked anything that I've written so far.  It's been too easy to get too philosophical, too negative, too whatever.  I don't want to write negative stuff here--it wouldn't serve the purpose for which this blog was started in the first place.

But the fact is that my silence has been the result of incredible negativity in our country.  My silence has been the result of the mourning and the grief that I'm still going through--the country that I used to know is gone, and it's being replaced more and more, day after day, with an authoritarian regime, the likes of which none of us ever thought we'd see in this land.  But here it is.

The four years that I served in the Army seem like a waste of time now.  I served to help--in a very small way, of course--to preserve the freedoms and the democracy that has made this country great in the past.  But I find now that the country has been taken over by the very wealthy, and they're doing everything they can to redirect as much money as possible away from the people who don't have much of it and into their own pockets.  They're kidnapping people off the streets without any due process.  They're passing laws and making rules without any checks or balances, turning this country into little more than a corrupt banana republic, the likes of which we used to read about with gratitude that our country wasn't like that.

Imagine that.

The grief is such that it's caused my wife and me to look to leaving the country to move to a place that isn't a totalitarian nightmare.  We want to give our children a place to go to when and if things here fall apart so far that life becomes dangerous for anyone who opposes the government.  We want to live in a country where people aren't kidnapped on the street by thugs in masks and no uniforms, and then sent to what are basically concentration camps thousands of miles from where they were abducted, even to countries they've never lived in, with absolutely no due process.

The harm that's being done right now is difficult to witness, especially when I know that I personally can do nothing about it.  As a teacher, I'm horrified at the models of "power" that our young people are witnessing and learning from.

But more than anything else, I'm at a loss as to how I'm going to continue sharing thoughts and ideas about living life fully when so many people are having their freedom taken from them, not to mention their ability to simply live their lives in peace, much less to live them fully.

I'll get there.  Many people are going through much worse these days--think of Gaza for just a moment--and what I'm going through doesn't come near what they're dealing with.  But that doesn't make my loss or my grief any less legitimate.  It's going to take me time to internalize it and deal with it effectively, and to get to a point at which I feel I'm living my own life fully once more.  And I will get to a point at which I can write again, hopefully even slightly effectively.

I never expected anything like this, but life does, indeed, throw curveballs sometimes.  I know that my main task now is to go with the flow rather than fighting it, and finding my own ways to resist the horrible things that are going on in so many places, on so many different levels.  I'm not going to play the victim, but I do need time to grieve the loss that is very real in many of our lives right now.