Whom Did I Serve Today?

I just went through another day of my life.  I woke up this morning, ate, went to work, spent my day working, came home--all that stuff.  And when I go to bed tonight, I may look back upon the day if I'm not too tired, and when I do I'm going to have to ask myself just whom I served today, and how.  And I hope that I like the answer to the question.

Did I serve my students effectively and with lots of love?  Another possibility is that I didn't do anything effective with them at all, that they just passed time in my class without getting anything at all helpful from me.

Did I serve my community by serving the students?  Did my community grow any stronger by having kids that are learning important lessons about life and getting along with others from me?

Or did I just serve myself and my own needs, tuning out someone in need because their need wasn't convenient to me, or because I needed a rest or something like that?

Or did I just walk through the day, not really accomplishing any sort of service at all?  Did I look for the easy way out of all situations, avoiding potential problems in order to keep my life simpler and less complicated?

Perhaps I served just the administration of the school, which needs a certified teacher in a classroom to manage the kids and present information.

And tomorrow, what will my day be like--will I make all my decisions based on my wants and needs, or will I look for the needs of the people I profess to serve and try to fulfill those needs?  And whom will I serve?  My students?  My community?  Myself?  Or perhaps all of the above, in ways that are productive and helpful. . . . That of course would be the ideal, and I hope that one day in my life, I'm able to reach such an ideal.

The value of all service lies in the spirit in which
you serve and not in the importance or magnitude
of the service.  Even the lowliest task or deed is made
holy, joyous, and prosperous when it is filled with love.

Charles Fillmore

A Great Thought

I came upon a beautiful quotation recently:  “Learn to see what is in front of you, rather than what you learned is there.”  It’s from a man named Stephen C. Paul, and it really gets me thinking about what I see and experience in life.  Sometimes I start to take things for granted because I’ve seen them so often and because others have taught me just what they are.  But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the last fifteen years of studying materials written and produced about life and living, it’s that what we think things are and what they really are usually aren’t exactly the same things.

What we’ve learned in life is often what other people think we should know, not necessarily what truly is.  When I was young, some people tried to teach me to accept racist attitudes.  I know that that was completely wrong.  Others tried to teach me that I should know and accept my place in life, and not try to make myself more than I was.  That, too, was wrong.  I was very fortunate because I was always questioning everything I learned–much to the chagrin of my grade-school teachers, I must say.  But that questioning helped me to see the world in a more authentic way–I wasn’t stuck with the perspectives that other people tried to force upon me.

“What is in front of you, rather than what you learned is there.”  Is this really just a tree, or is it a fantastic creation that’s giving forth oxygen so that we humans may continue to survive?  Or is it even more than that, or less?  Can it be that the tree is simply an illusion that we all agree is there, so it’s therefore created by our collective consciousness?  I don’t have a definitive answer for any of these questions, and I honestly don’t believe that there is any one definitive answer.  I do know, though, that until we’re willing and able to step outside of our comfort zones, we won’t ever see the world in any new or different–or perhaps even genuine–ways.

The people who taught us had the best of intentions, but they also had limitations that they learned in the course of their lives.  So it’s important to us to be able to shake ourselves free from the shackles of what we’ve learned to see, and see things as they genuinely are–from our own perspective.  I believe that when we do so, we’ll discover a new and beautiful and fulfilling world all around us, and we’ll see our place in it quite clearly.

 
  

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Because We Never Know. . . .

Why should I try hard today, when none of my efforts so far have produced the results I’ve sought?

Because I never know what tomorrow will bring, and whether my latest effort will be my most effective.  Perhaps my efforts so far have been in vain because I’ve been looking in the wrong directions for outcomes, but my latest efforts will be in the right direction.

Why should I continue to pray when I don’t see results to my prayers?

Because I never know when is the right time for my prayers to be answered–they’ll be answered in God’s best time, not my desired time.

Why should I keep searching for answers when I haven’t found the ones I want yet?

Because I never know when the next rock I turn over, the next hole that I dig, or the next door that I open may reveal the answers I’ve been searching for for so long.

Why should I keep being nice to people when they so often treat me poorly?

Because I never know when I’ll meet the person I fall in love with, or the one who becomes a best friend or a mentor, or the one who may have some very important answers for me.

The fact is, you never know when something’s going to happen.  You never know when your efforts will be rewarded.  And because we never know these things, we need to keep living from our hearts, not allowing frustration to get the best of us, so that we can continue to live authentically and happily.  There are many things that I would have loved to have happened by now, but they haven’t.  But I don’t give up on them, for I never know when all of my efforts (or all of my letting go) finally will have the effect they’re supposed to have and open doors for me that beforehand were closed.  If I give up now, after all, I’ll never know what I missed. . . .

Acting, or Reacting?

I’ve spent much of my life being a reactive person.  I’ve done many things in my life that were directly caused by someone else’s actions, rather than my own inner guidance concerning what I should or shouldn’t do.  In other words, my actions weren’t really actions at all, but reactions.  And usually, they’ve been pretty negative from the very start, as I never really gave myself a chance to consider carefully what I truly wanted to do.  I’ve hurt other people with my words and actions, and I’ve caused stress and strife for others.  Not tons of it, but more than I would have liked.

One of the most important things that I’ve learned in life is to stop reacting to other people’s actions and words and inaction.  I’ve become much better at just watching and not trying to fix things or make them better or to defend myself when no defense is really needed.  Now that I consider my actions more carefully (usually, of course–I’m still not there completely!), I’m able to act in ways that I truly see as fit and appropriate.  And as my actions are more carefully considered, I don’t do things that stress me out or that cause me negative results.  And my life is much freer and easier when I’m not going along complicating it with my poor reactions.

We can see a really good analogy in sports when it comes to penalties.  If a player does something dirty and hits another player, and that player retaliates, guess who gets called for the penalty?  Almost always, it’s the person who reacts with retaliation.  This is a purely reactive response, and it has negative results for the person who has reacted.  There are penalties involved that hurt the entire team, not just the one player, and that never is a good thing.

So if someone does something that I see as negative to me, how do I react?  Or, a better question is, do I even react at all?  I’ve come to learn over time that most negative actions are due to someone else’s poor self-esteem or lack of confidence, and most reactions don’t really accomplish much of anything at all.  By not reacting, I can choose to let something lie, to allow the water to calm down rather than stirring it up anew with my own negative response.

Recently someone criticized something that I had done, and I was kind of stymied by what she said.  My first impulse was to be defensive–to say something back to her that would make her feel bad for what she had said.  Instead, I waited a few moments to gather my thoughts, and then I asked her, “What makes you say that?”  It turned out that she had completely misunderstood what I had done, and was reacting to what she thought I had done rather than what I really had done.  I was glad that I hadn’t followed my first impulse to react, for taking the time to think of an appropriate action (asking for clarification) had helped us both to get much more out of the situation, and we didn’t harbor any ill feelings towards each other.

I’m not quite sure where I learned to be defensive rather than productive, but I really am happy that it’s something that I seem to be outgrowing.  Life’s much more fun and much less stressful when we consider our actions carefully, without letting others push us into reactions that we may not feel too good about later.

What We Believe

In one of our English classes, we're working our way through the novel Dances with Wolves.  One of the elements of the book that I like a lot is the way that the main character works his way from being isolated and alone to being a part of the Comanche tribe, a part of a community.  This is a theme that's dear to me because I grew up in a military family, and we constantly moved from place to place, never setting out roots, never really being a part of any community at all.  It's something that I've missed in life, and something that did make me suffer in some small ways as far as relationships and trust were concerned.

It's fascinating to watch the character progress and develop throughout the novel.  In order to be a part of this new community that he now has contact with, he has to give up certain beliefs and allow himself to entertain the notions that what he learned earlier in his life may or may not be right--and that "right" is a relative term.  We often go through our lives thinking that what we've learned so far has to be right simply because we've learned it--not realizing that by holding on to such beliefs we definitely limit the amount that we can learn from other human beings who have been taught differently, who hold beliefs that are not the same as our own.

For me, the greatest challenge has been in trusting that letting go of my beliefs isn't going to hurt me.  Changing the way I see things isn't going to turn my life into a disaster.  In the novel, Dunbar starts to see the sense behind the Comanche ways of life and thinking, and he starts to realize that their ways and thoughts were just as valid as--and sometimes more valid than--the ways and thoughts of the people who had taught him his whole life long.  Once he reaches this point he's able to learn as he's never really learned before, and he's able to see life as he never has seen it before.

It's great to be reminded that for all the different people in the world, there are different ways of seeing life and living.  And no one's perspective is more valid, more real, or more important than anyone else's.  And if we're ever truly to be part of different communities and different peoples, then we have to allow other people to be themselves--and allow ourselves to be ourselves.  Only then can we give of ourselves to others, for then we can let down the barriers that we tend to keep up for some reason to "protect" ourselves.  But by protecting ourselves, we keep ourselves small.  When we let go of that need to defend and hide, then we truly are becoming something bigger than before, and allowing ourselves to be part of something bigger than ourselves.

Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible.
This power becomes available to you just as soon
as you can change your beliefs.

Maxwell Maltz

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I went for a long walk in the woods this past weekend, the first time that I’d been out hiking for quite a while.  It was a great experience, though I was once again quite shocked at just how little I get out for such things.  While I was there I was astonished by the beauty and wonder of the place, as well as by the clean air and the silence and all of the other things that make such a place so special.  But I was also fully cognizant of the fact that even though I have many beautiful places close by that I can visit, I often choose to stay at home rather than to go out and enjoy the great outdoors.

The natural world is definitely one of the richest elements of the lives we lead on this planet.  Nature offers us healing and peace and marvelous sights that inspire us and give us the sense of awe that keeps us feeling humble as a part of something much, much larger than ourselves.  And all it takes from us is a bit of effort to leave the comfort of our living rooms in order to go out and spend some time in places that motivate and inspire us.

What do you do to get out in nature?  How do you feel when you’re out there?  And if the answer is “really good” or something like that, then the next question has to be, why aren’t you there more often?  I know that I often ask myself that question, and the answer almost always is because work and other obligations don’t allow me to spend as much time in nature as I really want to spend.  So when I do have the chances, I want to take full advantage of them and enjoy them as much as I can.  And as I get older and have less time left on this planet, I want to make more time to spend in and with nature, so that on the day I do leave this planet I can say that I truly did all that I could to learn about and know this world that is one of God’s greatest gifts to me, and to all of us.

Nature helps me.  It calms me, it allows me to renew my perspective.  It allows me to feel a sense of awe and amazement.  Life being the amazing set of interdependent elements that it is, I know that I’m just as much a part of nature as it is a part of me, and I sincerely hope that I never neglect nature or take it for granted, for if I do, I’ll be doing damage to myself, as well.

Nature is another important aspect of nourishing the soul.

After a hike in the mountains where we live, for
instance, I feel a remarkable sense of gratitude and
awe.  My mind quiets down and allows me to see more
clearly the beauty of creation.  And through that
gratitude, the beauty of the universe
is reflected back to the creator.

Joan Borysenko

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All That's Sacred

It's really interesting to see just how people decide what's sacred and what isn't sacred.  Usually we follow the guidance of our religions to determine if a certain text or place or person is sacred or not, as if the people who are leading lives based in established religions somehow have a monopoly on deciding what's sacred and what's not.  Personally, I feel that almost everything is sacred, from the grass growing outside my front door to the car that I drive to work in.  An object's sacredness lies entirely in my perspective towards it, and many things can be sacred to me that aren't sacred to other people.

On the one hand, sacred can mean simply "worthy of respect," according to the dictionary.  On the other, it can mean "made or declared holy," and I believe that this latter definition is the most important one when we consider the sacredness of so many things in our everyday lives.

This computer that I work on allows me to be in contact with people who are very important to me, and it allows me to create work that helps my students to learn, and it allows me to develop websites and learn about the world.  What could be more holy than a tool that allows me to do all that and more?  My apartment gives me a place to rest and recharge so that I'm able to go on teaching; it gives me a safe place to read and to learn about life and living; it gives me a place where I can be entertained by movies that keep me learning and laughing.  What could be more sacred?  The food that I eat keeps me alive, and it's very sacred to me, be it a donut or a plate of spaghetti or a salad.

I think we make a mistake when we reserve the term "sacred" for just those things that organized religions find to be holy.  I think that all life is sacred, even the cashier at the supermarket and the kid in the back row in the classroom and the guy who cut me off in traffic.  All things must be holy, for they're all children and creations of our God, whatever we conceive that God to be.  So look around and see the sacred in all that surrounds you, and you just may be surprised to realize just how much of what surrounds you truly is sacred.