At Peace?

I sometimes wonder if I really am at peace.  There are a lot of things that concern me, and quite a few worries in my life, but I don't let them get to me for the most part.  I try to accept them for what they are and deal with them as they're demanding to be dealt with, without letting them make me miserable.  And though I've reached a certain level of equanimity, a strong sense of balance in my life, I'm still always faced with the question of whether or not I'm at peace.

Peace to me is one of the most important goals in my life.  I believe that when I find peace, I'll be able to understand so much more about this life I'm living and the world in which I'm living my life.  When I find peace I won't find the need to judge others based on my beliefs of how things and people should be.  When I find peace I'll be able to see more deeply, feel more deeply, and understand more deeply than I do now.

Peace is a marvelous goal to have, I think, and I'm pretty sure that if I still question whether I'm actually at peace or not, then I must not truly be there.  I know that my life is more peaceful than other people's lives, but not nearly as peaceful as some other people's.  I still think some pretty petty thoughts when I'm upset with someone, and I still let myself lose my cool sometimes when people do things that I think they shouldn't be doing.  So one of my goals of each day is to stop myself whenever I can and simply think some peaceful thoughts.  If I can do that, then I can allow peace to become a part of each day, and I can actually share my peace with others, who just may need a peaceful influence in their lives every now and then.

I love the line "Peace be with you."  I love the idea of sharing peace.  I love trying to find peace in my life, for I know that my mere pursuit of peace could be a pretty good sign that I'm actually alive and well, leading a vital life and doing my best to make the most of all that's been given to me--by trying to find one of the most important elements that any of us could find in life, the peace that passes understanding, the peace that comes from simply being rather than doing.