Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way;
on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.
-Jon Kabat-Zinn
I would truly like to think that I'm not judgmental, but my experience tells me otherwise. I judge constantly, because that's the way I was brought up, and it's an ingrained habit that happens before I even think of the thing I'm judging. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I'm likely to mutter something like "idiot" before I even think about what happened. What I've learned over time, though, is that for some reason, that's my conditioned response--but it doesn't have to be my ultimate response. As time goes on I've found that my conditioned responses weaken, and some of them don't happen any more if I've made an effort to not let them dominate. But for those that do happen, I do my best to follow them up with another, conscious response as soon as I've had just a second or two to think about things: I tell myself, "That person's probably not an idiot, and they might have cut me off by accident." "What a jerk!" I think if someone's rude to me, but then my immediate second thought is something like, "I wonder what causes that person to be so rude/angry/sensitive." The truth is that if I don't know the whole story of why someone does something, then any judgment that I make is based on inadequate information, and isn't valid at all. If I want to be mindful, then I must do my best to be nonjudgmental--and if I do show myself to be judgmental, then I need to follow that reaction with a more accurate and kind reaction as soon as I can.
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