Let Today's Tasks Be Today's Tasks--A Paragraph a Day

I have an interesting affliction, for lack of a better word.  I always think I should be doing more--accomplishing more, giving more, reading more, working more.  I should be a better teacher, a better husband, a better writer.  I don't know where this tendency has come from, but it's very real, and it's very annoying.  These days it's not nearly as strong as it has been for most of my life, and that's partly because I used Buddhist monks--and other people from other religions--as role models.  We've been born into cultures that seem to value achievement above all else, so we feel pressure to achieve.  But what about peace?  Could it be that being able to do nothing for an entire day--and enjoying the nothingness of it--is an extremely high form of achievement?  I think about monks who spend years doing little but studying and contemplating life, never thinking at all about achievements that will impress other people, and I start to relax.  Because I'm not a better man than those monks who have spent decades contemplating life and living.  They've lived their lives and then passed on, and no one remembers them except for a select few, and that's okay.  When my day to leave this planet comes, I want to be able to say that I learned the lesson of how to simply live and enjoy, without thinking about achievement at all.  Our lives are gifts to us, and there's nothing wrong with simply contemplating a gift and enjoying it.  And that's what I want to do with my life.

The Way Things Seem

I've found in life that the ways that things seem to be very often aren't actually the ways that things are.  We bring so many of our own biases and prejudices and desires into what we see that we tend to see things in the ways that we want to see them, or through a lens that distorts reality so significantly that the view that we have is warped, at best.

As a teacher, I see this constantly.  The young person who seems to be screwing around to get attention is sometimes dealing with trauma at home, and acting out their emotions in a place where it's safe to do so.  The student who seems to not be studying at all may be sleep deprived, or have poor eyesight, or have a learning difference that makes a particular topic almost impossible to learn.  The student who doesn't seem to care at all may be withdrawn because of relationship difficulties in the family, up to and including being abused by a parent.

We've all heard the saying, "Things aren't always what they seem."  From my experience, I would amend that statement to read, "Things are rarely what they seem."

This is Thanksgiving week, and here in the States, we have a beautiful holiday to celebrate on Thursday.  This day's focus on gratitude gives us an opportunity to think more deeply about thankfulness, about appreciation.  It gives us a chance not just to count our blessings, but to ponder them.  Why do we consider them blessings?  Why do we not consider other things blessings?

There are many people who have kept the same job for decades and have fallen into a rut of repetition that makes them miserable.  Is the steady job and the paycheck really a "blessing," then?  Others have been fired from their jobs through no fault of their own and ended up finding something else, something better that inspires them more and rekindles passion for their work.  Was being fired from the job really a "curse," then?  Or was it a bigger blessing than the steady job and pay that would have led to tedium and unhappiness?

Of course, a steady job with good pay can be a huge blessing.  But that isn't always the case, is it?

This Thanksgiving, I'm going to challenge myself to look for the blessings in the supposed curses, the positive in the seeming negative.  I'm going to do my best to find a reason to be thankful for everything in my life, with the knowledge that I have no idea what kinds of benefits my current situations will bring me in the future.  Perhaps I'm not too fond of my job, but the person I meet there three months from now is going to show me how to open some other doors that will be much more beneficial to me than the ones I see now.

This Thanksgiving, I'm going to try to be thankful without condition.  I'm going to try to see the good and the positive in everything, knowing as I do that even things that begin with evil can bear positive outcomes (I'm thinking about the war in the Ukraine now--a war that is inexcusable and that was begun with evil intentions).

I'm going to be thankful for all that I've had in life, all that I do have in life, and all that I shall have later in life.  Because my thankfulness--or lack of it--is completely up to me.

You can visit our page on Thanksgiving by clicking here.

Living Simply

If one's life is simple, contentment has to come.  Simplicity is extremely
important for happiness.  Having few desires, feeling satisfied
with what you have, is very vital:  satisfaction with just enough food,
clothing, and shelter to protect yourself from the elements.   -the Dalai Lama


I find that simplicity is very difficult to attain for me personally.  I want to simplify--I want to get rid of the extra things that I have and possess just the bare minimum that I need to get by, but I consistently find it difficult to do so.  I'm pretty sure that much of this trait of mine comes from the ways that I grew up--I find it hard to get rid of things because on a subconscious level, I'm afraid that I'm going to need them someday, and that I won't be able to replace them if I do need them.  I know where this trait comes from and I'm not to thrilled to have it as one of the dominant traits of my life, but it is what it is, right?

Of course it is.  And the main thing for me to keep in mind is that if it is a trait that I have and I'm not fond of that trait, I have to do what I can to change that trait into one that I'm more comfortable with, one that I actually like.  And I strongly believe that I would like my life to be simpler, to not be burdened with so many things, so many possessions that I could easily get rid of without causing any negative effects on my life at all.

What does it mean, though, to "not be burdened" by things?  After all, if I have three cars instead of one, what's the big deal.  I use the cars as a metaphor because they show very well just how dramatic a lack of simplicity can be.  If I own three cars, I have to keep track of three engines, three sets of wheels and tires, three transmissions, and so on.  I have to make sure that I plan for three oil changes from time to time, and I need to keep three tanks full of gas.  It's not the actual having of things that changes our lives--it's the time and energy that it takes to maintain them that makes things different for us.

Very often, we get to a point at which we don't notice just how overwhelming it is to have so many things.  If we've been in the same house for years, it can be easy to just keep putting things in the garage or storage shed.  They seem harmless, but those things can become difficult to manage.  Space becomes scarce, and many of our options can be lost as we possess more and more.  When we buy a dog, we lose the chance to spend weekends away, unless we pay extra for a hotel that allows pets.  Even if we can bring the dog, there are many places that we may want to visit that won't allow pets at all.

Sometimes we lose simplicity when we commit ourselves to too many things to do, and we run ourselves ragged trying to fulfill all of our responsibilities.  If we keep our obligations few, then much of life opens up to allow us in, but when we create new obligations for ourselves, we can shut many doors that might have opened for us.

The Dalai Lama mentions "having few desires," and I think that that's one important element of a simple life.  When we desire things that will complicate our lives, then simplicity is just a pipe dream.  When we allow ourselves to have fewer wants, when we're satisfied with what we have and where we are, then we're setting ourselves up for simpler lives that are easier to deal with in many, many ways.

I'm not that good at simplifying, but I keep trying to get better.  I know that the more I do simplify, the easier my life is going to be, and the more I'll be able to focus more consistently on the things that truly matter to me.


It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.

Laura Ingalls Wilder