Change

I knew some people a while ago who wanted to do something new and different–specifically, move to a new state and attend college there.  There was a problem, though–the change scared them.  The idea of picking up and moving, of leaving behind everything they knew, kept them from fulfilling their dream for over two years.  Finally, though, they did make the leap and moved.  I saw them yesterday, and both are thriving in their new situation, doing extremely well in school and enjoying the lives that they’ve made for themselves in their new location.

I worked with a woman once whose husband was laid off after almost thirty years at his job.  They were shocked when it happened, as there weren’t too many other possibilities for work in their area for people of his age with his type of experience.  They didn’t let it get them down, though–instead, they decided to live out one of their dreams.  They sold their home and moved elsewhere, where the sun shines more and the dreary days occur very infrequently compared to where they had lived.  He found work and she opened her own business, and both ended up being quite happy in their new homes.

Change is frightening, but there are literally millions of stories of people who took the risk to change something important in their lives because they knew in their hearts that the change was best for them, and who were truly glad that they had taken the risk.  Change is one of the most important constants in life, if we allow it to be so.  So many people spend so much time fighting change, though, that it often seems like it’s something to fear, and many of us buy into that idea and avoid change at all costs.

I like to change little things in my life as much as I can.  I like to change big things, too, for every time I ever have made a big change, I’ve found great treasures in the results.  I’ve met new people and had new experiences and learned new things that I never could have learned in a previous situation, and after all, isn’t that why we’re here–to learn all we can about life and living and love and our fellow human beings?

Are there any changes that you’ve been putting off because of fear?  Not all changes are meant to happen immediately, and often it is better to wait.  But if the only reason for waiting is fear, then it’s doubtful that the waiting is going to be all that beneficial to you.  I would never tell anyone that they have to make changes in their lives, or that they should make changes, but I would encourage everyone to examine their motives for avoiding change.  And then, if the motives just don’t add up to something that’s contributing positively to your life, perhaps it is time to take the risk and make the changes that your heart is crying out for.

One must never lose time in vainly regretting the past or
in complaining against the changes which cause us discomfort,
for change is the essence of life. Anatole France   

Centered

We all have centers.  These are places in ourselves at which we’re in balance, at which we feel comfortable with life and living.  We each have a state of being where we feel peaceful, calm, and in control.  These are our centers, and we would do well to try to find this place, this way of being, in order to bring more peace to our lives.

To a dancer, everything comes from the center.  It’s easy to see a new dancer who hasn’t yet found his or her center, for that dancer looks to be out of control, ungraceful, even clumsy.  When the dancer dances from his or her center, though, the rest of the body follows, showing the control and the form that the dancer has worked hard to gain.

When I’m coming from my center, things rarely get out of hand.  When I take a deep breath to center myself, a hectic situation calms down.  When I take a step back from a tense situation to see the bigger picture, I allow myself to access my center and bring a much more effective approach to what’s going on.  My decision-making improves, my trust in myself grows, and my ability to help others improves, also.  Like the dancer, my actions seem more compact, more together, more in control simply because I’ve chosen to access a part of myself that is always there, but not always used.

Some people will call the center “God.”  Others will call it “spirit” or "self," and still other wouldn’t call it anything at all.  But it’s there in each of us, and one of the keys to doing things well and being effective is to be able to access our centers.  When we can do this, the dance of our lives will be simpler and so much more beautiful. . . .

If we locate the kingdom of heaven within,
we can experience the kingdom of heaven on earth.

Susan Santucci

A Thought or Two

You are so much more powerful than you give yourself credit for.  Even if it occurs subconsciously, you are fashioning your life to support the image of who you think you are.  If you see yourself as a helpless victim, you will attract events and scenarios to support the story of "Poor me, why does this always happen in my life?"  It happens because you create it.  The universe is simply doing its job of giving you what you say you want.  Maybe on the unconscious level, you enjoy the negative attention that being a victim brings, and if you convince the universe that you are a victim, the universe will deliver.  Isn't that a good enough reason to change your negative, self-defeating thoughts into those that exude power and possibility?  Let that victim role go, and start thinking of yourself as a magnificent, powerful, and courageous being.  Then sit back and enjoy the gifts the universe showers on you.  These new, fresh experiences will reflect your healthy, empowered vision of yourself.

Lucinda Bassett

Indispensable?

I bought a book once because it had in it the following line:  “The cemeteries are full of people who believed they were indispensable.”  I like this not-so-subtle reminder that we tend to take things just a bit too seriously, and we tend to think that we have to be doing everything all the time or it will never get done.  The fact is, though, that if I die today, life will go on and the tasks that I haven’t completed yet will be completed by someone else.  There will be a substitute teacher in my classes on Monday, and everyone will get by just fine.

I like keeping this in mind because it keeps me from falling into the trap of thinking that I’m responsible for everything that I touch in my life.  The fact is, though, that I’m really not responsible for all that much, and any responsibility that I have in life is responsibility that I’ve decided to have.  Too often I think that if someone else is unhappy, it’s up to me to cheer them up, or if someone else is having problems, it’s up to me to solve them.  But the simple fact is that I can be much more helpful by encouraging them to deal with their problems themselves, for when I do that I’m helping to empower them.  Sometimes I want to solve their problems for them, though, for it gives me that “indispensable” feeling.  But in all honesty, that’s not a feeling that’s healthy–or realistic–for me to feel.

One day my body will be gone--probably burned to ashes.  And when the day of my death comes around, I hope that I’m going to go with the realization that life will go on just fine without me, but I also hope that I’ll be quite glad to have contributed all that I could while I was here.

A Thought on Fun

While ideas such as discipline and focus are undeniably important, so is the idea of having fun.  With a small amount of effort, we can extract all the fun and joy out of most parts of our lives--our relationships, our work, even our leisure time.  We can put so many restrictions and should's on everything we do that our very lives become dull, overly ponderous, and routine.  Before long, we find ourselves living up to a set of rules--and we're not certain where the rules came from or whose they are.  Let yourself go.  Have a little fun with life.  Or, have a lot of fun with life.  If you've spent years being extremely disciplined, reliable, and somber, maybe part of achieving balance is having a decade of fun.

Melody Beattie

Listening

Probably the hardest part of being a teacher is listening to the students.  After all, as teacher I'm supposed to have all the answers for them, and I'm supposed to be explaining things to them and giving them exercises and homework to do.  My job is not to listen, but to speak and to guide.  It's very hard sometimes, finding the right ways to ask questions and simply listen to students' ideas once in a while.  It was easier at college, but now that I'm teaching high school, I find that I'm much more inclined to speak instead of to hear.

Part of this has to do with the students, of course.  Most of my students have little to no life experience, and what they have to say very often is so far off the mark that it doesn't help anyone's learning.  And teens tend to be very judgmental at times, too, so finding objective opinions is quite a rarity.

But nevertheless, it's important that I take the time to hear what my students have to say, to listen to their words and ideas and respond to them with respect and dignity.  After all, this is a deep longing of almost all of us--the longing to be heard and respected.  So I have to ask myself whether my job is about spreading information to the students, or about helping them to learn and to grow by encouraging their thinking and expression not just by allowing them to speak, but also by responding to their words and ideas with some of my own, of the encouraging sort.

You and I want to be heard.  The person in the elevator next to you, the person in the car behind you at the stoplight, the man at the supermarket checkout, the woman giving the newscast this evening--they all want to be heard.  We can make this world a better place simply by listening to others, by allowing them to express themselves and then responding in positive, uplifting, encouraging ways.  It's our choice whether we're going to listen to others or not, and if we do so, then we're contributing to a happier, healthier planet.

Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing.

It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of                   

our words that we are able to effect the most profound changes in the

people around us.  When we listen, we offer with our attention an

opportunity for wholeness.  Our listening creates sanctuary for the

homeless parts within the other person.  That which has been denied,                   

unloved, devalued by themselves and others.  That which is hidden.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Thanksgiving Is Not Just for November

When awareness of everything you have dawns in you, how do you feel?  Don't you have an extraordinary abundance to be thankful for?  Gratitude is being thankful, grateful for what you have.  With gratitude firmly rooted in your heart, you are humble and open and receptive and inducing your Benefactor to shower you with more gifts, physical and spiritual.  And it's more than gifts!  A grateful heart is a grace-full heart.  A grace-full heart is one that is open, alive, and growing toward communion with its Benefactor.

Do you realize that you have been given exactly what you need just so that you may proceed with the spiritual lessons and growth that you, you alone, need to master?  Yes, life can be absolutely daunting, but you can have gratitude when you realize that you have just what you need.  Gratitude is the virtue that shifts our energy in order to facilitate our great growth to the next levels.  Without the hankering after what we don't have, we allow ourselves to receive from God just what we need.  Then we have and use just what we need to, so that we're prepared for greater gifts and gains inside.

~Michael Goddart