Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself
alone, and so they don't find themselves at all.
-Rollo May
I would really like to think that I might be able to find myself one day, or that perhaps at some level, I already have. Perhaps I'm on the way there, and soon I'll understand just what I know. I don't want to reach the end of my days and not know who I've been, and not know who I'm meant to be. Do they line up? Is the person I will have become by then be the person I'm supposed to be? If I'm to become that person, my instinct tells me that I need to go through a consistent process of introspection in order to know where I am compared to where I've been, and which directions I'm going in. Am I getting kinder? More generous? More humble and more helpful? How do I know the answers to these questions if I don't take the time to look inside for some honest answers? I don't want to look at introspection as a chore or a task, but rather an enjoyable way of making sure that I continue to grow into the best version of myself, somehow. Personally, my best introspection comes during long runs and long bike rides--that's when I need to focus on where I'm going and I'm able to clear my mind of other things and think of things like who I am and what I want to be. How do we know if we're becoming the people we hope to be? Only through introspection, only by overcoming the fear of being alone and realizing that even if I am, that's fine as long as I'm a good person alone.
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